To Know Him Is To Love Him

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781449030117
  • Publisher: AuthorHouse
  • Publication date: 10/1/2009
  • Pages: 112
  • Product dimensions: 0.27 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 6.00 (d)

Read an Excerpt

To Know Him is to Love Him

By Stephanie Anderson


Copyright © 2009 Stephanie Anderson
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4490-3011-7

Chapter One

To Know Him Is To Love Him

Is your marriage on the road to divorce? Let me teach you how to change lanes and receive the keys to a new adventure.

Have you ever thought about why men have affairs? They lack encouragement from their partner. They need sex, sex, love, and did I say sex?

As women, we should learn to be more attractive to our guy, to encourage him, and take time to prepare ourselves for our men.

We underestimate the importance of looking sexy for our man. Trust me women, he knows your size, and any size can be sexy when you are exciting, playful, and confident. Just ask him. He needs you to be playful, sexy, and inviting.

I want to teach you how to treat your man as a king. At least once a month, give him a royal dinner in bed and a royal massage (along with control of the remote).

I want to teach you how to communicate better. (Ask questions)

I want you to learn his innermost desires. (Find out his love touches.)

* Leave him Love Notes such as: "You are my Superman."

* Learn how to have date nights that please him. (Go to the park and race remote-control cars).

* Learn to encourage him and lift him up as the king of the house.

Don't everdishonor him at home or in public. Don't be known as the nagging wife; be known as the queen. Learn to walk like royalty. Learn to keep a smile on his face all the time.

Learn what makes him smile.

Bring back "that lovin' feeling." Trust me, he did not marry you to be bored. He married you because you made him tingle inside. Find that tingle again. As love and marriage expert Gary Chapman says, "Fill his love tank."

Women, take the challenge and serve your king. Read all about him and surprise him with love ideas like hiding tattoos all over your body and having a body hunt.

You will probably have to fill this book out for him. Ask him questions and take the time to get the answers. Your marriage will greatly benefit from it!

Thoughts for the day:

(Excerpted from Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know by Barbara DeAngelis or What Every Woman Should Know by Bishop E. Bernard Jordan)

* Arguing without seeking solutions is a destructive game.

* Most men believe that romance and sex is the same thing.

* Romance is fun work.

* Never stop dating your husband.

* Learn to compromise rather than complain.

Every woman should know:

* A wise woman strengthens her family.

* A wife of character is her husband's crown.

* How to laugh at mistakes after the tears dry.

Sexy Says It

Sexy says all kinds of things. And being sexy can be so simple, when you make the effort.

Women, did you know that men think about sex more than 200 times in a day! Wow was my thought when I read that information. I always thought and was told that men only want one thing: sex. Okay, so maybe it is true, but bottom line, men need sexual touch to feel loved. Women, on the other hand, need comfort to feel loved. We have to learn to find the right balance between each partner.

I hope that you, as women, can learn to find other things that make him happy. In this book you may be the one to ask questions and record them, but it will be worth the time and effort. Find out what makes him happy outside the bedroom and you should have a very happy man. Ask yourself if you could you buy his favorite music, his favorite golf clubs, or perhaps the latest fishing gear that would thrill him?

Would you know where to send him and the boys for a weekend away? Such a weekend could be very beneficial for you to arrange. Time alone is an amazing thing. You both should feel renewed after such a weekend.

I want you to be able to change the atmosphere in your home into a loving environment. Women say to me all the time, "But you don't know my husband!" You're right, but I have seen those same husbands who were not interested in love, find the girl who makes them smile and off they went!

If you think I'm wrong, look at why men have affairs. Or think about it, don't men get married more quickly than women after divorce? I asked myself, "Why do men jump into a relationship so quickly after being so unhappy?" That question led me to research the subject.

Men say that women tend to become their mom. (For tips on improving this problem, check out my book on How to Transform from Mom-Mode to Wife-Mode, coming soon.)

Men want and need to be with someone all the time, but stop and look around. How do your friends or yourself treat your partners?

Men need what I call their Man Cards back. Women take them away when we become a man's mom! Learn to find your man's strengths and encourage him. Learn to be sexy again.

I encourage you to take the challenge find out all the little things that make your man happy. Just like women, men feel loved when you do special things for them.

I think the most difficult challenge is change. How do we change the way we act? It is tough but a happy marriage is certainly worth the work. Change, change, change and you will find so much good will happen. Find the key to getting out of your rut.

Get creative and you'll be able to rock his world!

Chapter Two

Love Ideas

Do you need some spice in your relationship, or are you bored? This section is for you. Love ideas will add spice to your life. They are different than date ideas. Most are inexpensive and only take time, thought, and love.

Take these ideas and have him pick his top 20 favorites. Ask him to update the list often so you will have new ideas from which to pick. Always have him write in pencil so you can keep new ideas coming. Tell him that if he has other ideas he would like, he can write his own or circle additional ones that he likes.

If you are short on money, you can write or print virtually anything on a love note and tell him that if you could, you would buy him the world.

This is my favorite chapter of the book because to me, these ideas spark Love Dancing 101.

I want this chapter to ignite a new passion and excitement that's probably been missing in your relationship for a long time.

The more you use this chapter, the better you will get at understanding each other. You will be a love expert in no time.

Learn to be creative and think outside the box. Personalize things as often as you can. Everybody loves seeing and hearing his own name, so when you leave him a special note be sure to include his name. For example: "__________, let's kiss and make up." It will make him laugh.

Remember to always honor each other. Never criticize each other. This is so important. Your words have the power of life and death. Unkind words can kill a marriage. You can destroy a night by one negative comment. Honor each other.

Also remember to never use sex as a bargaining tool. Women don't think of sex in the same way that men do. Women tend to think that's all men care about. I know you are probably saying that's true, but just because you do something special for her, don't expect an immediate payback.

To a woman, love and respect come from outside the bedroom. For men it comes from inside the bedroom. Remember to respect her outside the bedroom and she will learn to respect you in the bedroom. Before long, you will be doing some amazing love dancing.

Don't forget to give her a copy of To Know Her is To Love Her. You will find some great sexy suggestions to ignite new love passion in your life.

Love Ideas to Try

Buy a jersey of his favorite team and wear it to bed Or Study a new language and use it to excite him Or Use your new language to travel to a foreign city Or Ask your mate to take a shower with you Or Order a lingerie catalog and have him pick his favorites Or Make a book about what you love about him Or Make a book on what you find sexy about him Or At dinner, play footsie under the table Or Whisper sexy words in his ear as you serve him dinner Or Whisper sexy words to him at a party as you walk by Or Text him something sexy at home Or Text him something sexy at a party. (Be ready to leave quickly.) Or First thing in the morning, wake him up with a little love dancing Or Wake him up with breakfast in bed Or Have him take sexy pictures of you in lingerie and then print them yourself for his eyes only Or Slip him a note in his briefcase telling him how good he was last night Or Text him in the middle of the day and tell him you were just thinking about the amazing time you had last night Or Mail a sexy note to him at work Or Leave a trail of signs on his way to work telling him how much you love him Or Leave a trail of signs on Father's Day telling him what an amazing dad he is. (Have the kids get involved.) Or Leave a trail of signs for him just because! Or Decorate the garage for him. Make it a total guy space. Find out what his favorite team is! Or Give him a pedicure Or Give him a massage Or Get up early and get his clothes ready for work Or Take his car and have it cleaned Or Tuck love notes all over the house Or Use Easter eggs to hide notes Or Leave love notes in his car Or Put a love note in his gas cap Or Put on a sexy dress for dinner with him Or Leave a note for him in the shower Or Leave a note for him on the toilet paper Or Leave him a lipstick kiss on the mirror Or Text a love message to him Or Send a love e-mail to him Or Present him with a note after dinner that says, "Meet me in 5 minutes for dessert!" Or Blow him a kiss from across the room Or Make a love chain of compliments 30 days before his birthday telling him what a stud he is Or Create a compliment jar Or Create a compliment book Or Create a date jar Or While at dinner whisper in his ear when you go to the bathroom how sexy he looks tonight Or Build him a putting green Or Create a pleasure jar with things and places you love to be touched Or Find a family saying that leaves a legacy and then frame it Or Frame a favorite baseball card from his childhood Or Buy him his favorite team autograph Or Buy his favorite player's autograph for him Or Buy him some Lego building blocks Or Buy him some Lincoln Logs and build together Or Dance in the rain and then undress each other in the garage Or Serve him dinner in bed Or Warm his towel Or Buy a heart shaped cookie cutter and use it to make pancakes, toast or cookies Or Scan a favorite picture and transfer it to a pillow for him Or Create a love bulletin board Or Mow the yard for him Or Have the yard mowed for him Or Give him 30 minutes to himself when he comes home from work Or Give him a Saturday off to do what he wants Or Give him an ear massage Or Make love magnets complimenting him in all kinds of ways Or Write a thank you note to him for all he does Or Iron his clothes Or Stick extra money in his briefcase and tell him to go buy something he wants Or Buy him a gift card and hide it somewhere. (How about hiding a Home Depot card in the garage?) It's the little things in life that make ya smile! Or If he's a neat freak, clean the bathroom counter off occasionally Or Have a baby wipes warmer next to the bed so after love dancing you can clean him up Or Keep a heated lotion dispenser next to the bed so you can give a great massage Or Carve a love note into the butter Or Carve a love note into the ice cream Or Wrap a note around the hot sauce telling him he is way hotter than this Or Be creative with notes on food in the fridge or pantry Or Write your love initials on the soap: "S loves J" Or Write on the soap: "You can suds me up anytime" Or Send index cards to his friends and family asking for compliments about him; compile them in a book Or Give him a sports basket for TV watching with a cool new remote, some peanuts, and even some beer if he drinks Or Leave him a note in lipstick that says, "I'm sorry. Let's kiss and make up." Or Leave him chocolate kisses with notes attached Or Give him a subscription to his favorite magazine and tell him he can have 30 minutes once a month on a morning to read it uninterrupted Or Find interesting facts about the year he was born. Men love history. Or Leave him a jar of nuts with a note that says, "I'm nuts about you!" Or Start a love journal: pass it back and forth; tell him things you love about him Or Make a CD for him and leave it in the car (with songs like "Wild thing, I think I love you"). Or Create a special way or code to say "I love you" (maybe three winks, a word, or three hand squeezes) Or Join him in the shower for a quickie in the morning or ask him to shower before bed Or Buy him a guitar and a DVD that teaches how to play it Or Make a time capsule of your dating and bring it out on your 10-year anniversary Or Tuck some panties in his lunch and tell him you'll be waiting for him tonight Or Load a tool belt with lotions and tell him you will be his tool girl tonight Or Give him a gift card for car washes. (Tell him he drives you crazy and you want him to know how much.) Or Leave him a box of red hot candies and tell him you still think he is red hot Or Put a lipstick kiss on the newspaper for him to find Or Always, always flirt with your partner Or Say or do something sexy so that he will think of you often Or Guys like a challenge. Keep him guessing what will you do next. Or Make one day every month when he is king for the day (for example, the first of every month) Or Buy him that new golf club he has been wanting Or Make him a casserole and write, "I love you" or "stud" with cheese Or Wear a skirt to dinner with nothing on under it and whisper in his ear at dinner to let him know. (Just don't pull a Britney!!) Or Take a cold shower when you're tired and it will rejuvenate you so you can give him some amazing love dancing! Or Install a colored light bulb in the room and switch it on frequently. They say blue makes women look softer and sexier

Write Your Top Love Ideas For Her

Use pencil to make your list and update it often

1. _________________________________________

2. _________________________________________

3. _________________________________________

4. _________________________________________

5. _________________________________________

6. _________________________________________

7. _________________________________________

8. _________________________________________

9. _________________________________________

10. ________________________________________

11. ________________________________________

12. ________________________________________

13. ________________________________________

14. ________________________________________

15. ________________________________________

16. ________________________________________

17. ________________________________________

18. ________________________________________

19. ________________________________________

20. ________________________________________

Chapter Three

Great Date Ideas

Okay, women. Here is your chance to show them boys how it's done!

Sometimes we think dating is just for women but in reality, men need attention and lots of it. Become creative. Most of the time you could plan a great night at home and he would be happy with a good meal and some love dancing.

Try to think of guy things to do. For example, take him out for crab legs and learn how to be sexy when you eat them.

Buy remote-control boats, take them to the park and race them. Finish with some quiet time together.

Try to plan at least one date a month that he will like. Be spontaneous. Surprise him often with love ideas, love notes, or a date night.

Read him the list of date ideas and ask him to say yes or no for those he likes. Write the info down on his top dates and there you have it. Simple, user friendly, and he really didn't have to do much. He will reap the fringe benefits of this project.

How much easier can it get? Before you know it, he will be smiling all the time.

People will wonder what happened to him. (I know, his Love tank is finally full!)


Excerpted from To Know Him is to Love Him by Stephanie Anderson Copyright © 2009 by Stephanie Anderson. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents


1 To Know Him is To Love Him....................10
2 Love Ideas....................15
3 Great Date Ideas....................27
4 Write your own Love Notes....................35
5 Write your own Love Coupons....................43
6 Sports & Outdoors....................46
7 How to know me....................53
Basics you need to know....................55
My sizes....................56
I prefer....................58
Favorite foods and restaurants....................60
Time to myself....................62
Favorite vacations....................65
My wish list....................67
8 Questions & Answers....................69
9 Important numbers....................78
10 His Journal....................79
11 Her Journal....................89
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