Together Forever: The Smart Gay Man's Guide to Lifelong Love [NOOK Book]

Overview

A loving, lasting, committed relationship

One of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor...
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Together Forever: The Smart Gay Man's Guide to Lifelong Love

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Overview

A loving, lasting, committed relationship

One of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor busts the myths that exist in the gay community about relationships and gives gay men a model for healthy, happy marriages (legal or not).

Learn:
-Why the fate of your relationship is more important than the health and well-being of your sofa

-Why you should choose commitment and work to make the relationship strong

-How to have good, plenty, and forever sex

-The secrets of keeping your man, your friends and your family happy (even "difficult" loved ones)

-Ways to avoid damage to your relationship from third parties that don't have your best interests at heart

"Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books. You'll learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself--without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership."
--Raeleen D'Agostino Mautner, PhD,
author of Living la Dolce Vita

Dr. Martin Kantor is a psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues. He is the author of My Guy. He lives with his partner of 22 years in New Jersey.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Psychiatrist Kantor (Understanding Paranoia) believes that a committed gay marriage is infinitely more satisfying than the jungle of the gay single scene, and he lays out a framework for building a fulfilling long-term relationship. He begins by blasting some of the myths surrounding gay men and touches on marital danger zones of particular concern to gay couples (e.g., self-absorption, paranoia, excessive dependency, and competitiveness). Psychological reasons for these and other problems are explained, examples from real-life couples are cited, and tools for working through the issues are provided. Kantor speaks from personal experience (he is gay and in a long-term relationship) and years of counseling gay couples; his words ring true and offer hope and help. Recommended for all libraries. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402235108
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 11/1/2005
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 945,520
  • File size: 783 KB

Meet the Author

Martin Kantor, MD, is a psychiatrist who has been in full-time private practice in Boston and New York and on the staffs of the Massachusetts General Hospital and The Mount Sinai School of Medicine. He is the author of thirteen other books on psychological topics, including a revised version of Distancing, which describes how people avoid relationships due to anxiety; Paranoia, which covers such disorders of the paranoid spectrum as paranoid personality disorder; Homophobia, which views homophobia as a manifestation of deep psychological problems; and Treating Emotional Disorder in Gay Men, which describes the form some common psychological difficulties take when they appear in homosexuals and offers some practical suggestions on how to modify psychotherapy to make it more relevant to, and palatable and affirmative for, gay men. My Guy, which offers single gay men some practical suggestions on how to meet the Mr. Right of their dreams, was published by Sourcebooks in 2002. His most recent work is an article on coping among victims of sexual prejudice and discrimination for a book on the psychology of prejudice and discrimination. He lives very quietly during the week with Michael, his partner of twenty-two years, in an apartment in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and reverse-commutes to New York City on Weekends.
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Table of Contents

Introduction..............................................................................................................................1

Chapter 1: The Old Gay Scene or the New Gay Domesticity?..............................7

Chapter 2: Myths and Facts ...........................................................................................21

Chapter 3: Sailing the Seven "C's".................................................................................45

Chapter 4: Coddling: Positivity and Affirmation.............................................................59

Chaper 5: Danger Zone 1: Overcoming Boredom and Restlessness...................91

Chapter 6: Danger Zone 2: Curing Sexual Problems--Sexual Inhibition,

Sexual Addiction, and Cheating; and Dealing with Polygamy..........................101

Chapter 7: Danger Zone 3: Dealing with Anger.........................................................123

Chapter 8: Danger Zone 4: Overcoming Fear of Closeness and

Committment..................................................................................................................153

CHapter 9: Danger Zone 5: Getting Past Self-Absorption......................................167

Chapter 10: Danger Zone 6: How Not to be Uptight................................................181

Chapter 11: Danger Zone 7: Dealing with Paranoia................................................195

Chapter 12: Danger Zone 8: Overcoming Excessive Dependency......................213

Chapter 13: Danger Zone 9: Overcoming Excessive Competitiveness...............221

Chapter 14: Third Parties from Hell..................................................................................227

Chapter 15: Handling Breakups......................................................................................237

Chapter 16: A Difficult Relationship Rescued..............................................................245

Chapter 17: Models of a Great Relationship...............................................................255

About the Author..................................................................................................................263
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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 2, 2005

    A Masterpiece!

    Get ready for daring advice you didn't expect! It is what makes Together Forever one of the most powerful relationship guidebooks I have ever read. Dr. Martin Kantor is witty, irreverent and delightfully candid about what it takes to keep a gay (or straight) marriage strong and thriving. From the first page I could not put this book down! It felt like I was enjoying a caffe' latte in the good Doc's living room, while savoring every delicious drop of his wisdom, and no-nonsense strategies that keep love and intimacy alive and growing. As a psychiatrist, Dr. Kantor is brilliant. As an author, he is nothing short of magic. You get to benefit not only from Kantor's years of professional training and private practice, but also from the personal experiences he so generously shares in his characteristic informal style, making you feel he is talking to you directly. Well, he is! Beneath his humor and laid-back demeanor, Kantor also makes you take a provocative look at yourself, and get fired up to make critical changes that will benefit your partner, your relationship, and ultimately, yourself. Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books, which are simply regurgitations of one another. Each reader is sure to experience numerous 'aha' moments and be able relate personally to the varied examples. After reading this book, there is no going back. You will definitely learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself --without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership (a rare concept in the world of I, Me and Mine).This innovative book is full of useful actions you can use immediately to make your marriage a quality and lasting one, and avoid the desperation of life hopping the singles bars. The effects of reading Together Forever are life-affirming and enduring. Finally, a self-help book that really will change your life!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2012

    Tori/maid of honor

    Is ready to hit tht punks face dominics good guy

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2012

    Fuk you dominic

    :( i fuk your guts

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 30, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 21, 2012

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