Toilet Trained for Yale: Adventures in 21st-Century Parenting

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From Mozart played to the womb to French art in the nursery, from toddler yoga to post-toddler tutoring for SAT's, too many parents today are obsessed with creating super kids. As a result, America suddenly has a bumper crop of children who have turned the Peter Pan syndrome on its head and flown away from childhood.Blending sharp observation, memories of his own offbeat parenting experience, incredulous reporting, and uproarious flights of fancy, Ralph Schoenstein takes readers on an exploration of this absurd ...

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Overview

From Mozart played to the womb to French art in the nursery, from toddler yoga to post-toddler tutoring for SAT's, too many parents today are obsessed with creating super kids. As a result, America suddenly has a bumper crop of children who have turned the Peter Pan syndrome on its head and flown away from childhood.Blending sharp observation, memories of his own offbeat parenting experience, incredulous reporting, and uproarious flights of fancy, Ralph Schoenstein takes readers on an exploration of this absurd trend that is both hilarious and chilling. Along the way, he stumbles upon earnest mothers attempting to elevate fetus IQ at a university designed to deliver "the ultimate head start." He witnesses the organized teaching of reading to children too small to hold a book in their hands, and imagines the bumper sticker of the not-so-distant future: "My Kid's an Honor Student, Your Kid's a Loser." Throughout it all, he cringes at a nation of parents who now want their children to hit the delivery room running.With wondrous wit, deep perception, and sweet appreciation for his own ancient and unstructured childhood, Schoenstein turns these and other merry new perversions of parenting into comic gems, continuing his reign as the man Kirkus called "the undisputed king of writing on parenthood." A lacerating work of social criticism that will make you laugh out loud, Toilet Trained for Yale is the funniest serious book you'll ever read.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Humorist Ralph Schoenstein casts his satirical eye on the highly competitive world of prenatal education, infant IQ testing, and the cutthroat kindergarten admissions juggernaut. But in exposing the absurdity of modern parenting, Schoenstein also exposes his own soft spot for fatherhood, as he reminisces about raising his girls and even admits to participating in the current madness with his grandchildren. This is a hilarious yet sweet read that will remind readers what parenting is really all about.
Chattanooga Times Free Press
Hilarious...a wake-up call for parents...a fun and wise volume.
Kirkus Reviews
The author of more than two dozen works of good humor (You Can't Be Serious, 1990, etc.) gets tough as well funny as he disses the nitwits who push their offspring toward superstardom from birth-and even before. A solid family man, Schoenstein launches an effective assault on those who play Mozart to the fetus, those who drill a kid in her nappies in the arcana of geopolitics or iambic pentameter, and all the "Fun for Ones" and "Creepy Crawler" crowd. Creepy, indeed! In his exhaustive research, Schoenstein travels from "Learning Zone" to "Better Baby Institute Activity Zone," from "Prenatal U" to "Postnatal Upgrade" and reports that it's all a scam. He relates the grotesque goings-on at a kiddy beauty pageant. The scramble to produce designer infants and the passion to turn toddlers into bimbo contest queens, eminent policy wonks, corporate CEOs, precocious tax evaders, or whatever Mommy and/or Daddy deem most estimable is, he worries, bound to take a toll on the besieged tots. The quest for the fastest track to render offspring superior to the best of any generation won't accomplish anything anyway, according to the author's wise friends. Early reading has "no bearing on whether a child will end up in the Institute for Advanced Studies or the Witness Protection Program," he says. You can't make Baby read before Baby is ready to read, so there's no need to haul out Dick and Jane for an embryonic audience. Nor will Beethoven quartets played for the occupant of a womb bring forth a musical genius. Forget the maniacal mind games and let Junior's psyche develop in the time-tested ways, says old philosopher Schoenstein. Abandon "push parenting," as he calls it. Let the kids alone and don't tryto fix what's not broken. Respect the "best blessedness around"-the sweet grace of childhood. Sensible, warm, and funny, with or without the benefit of pushy parents.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780738205601
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press
  • Publication date: 4/17/2002
  • Pages: 192
  • Product dimensions: 5.74 (w) x 8.56 (h) x 0.74 (d)

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