Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

Overview

If you're like most folks, you were raised to be "nice". Yet now you find yourself asking: "If I'm so nice, why isn't my life better?" Renowned minister and lecturer Duke Robinson has the answer. Robinson says that well-intended behavior is essential to a humane society, but carries a down side. Being nice often means we take on too much, tell little lies, strive endlessly for perfection, and fall prey to other self-defeating behaviors. Now Robinson outlines the nine unconscious mistakes nice people make daily, ...

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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

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Overview

If you're like most folks, you were raised to be "nice". Yet now you find yourself asking: "If I'm so nice, why isn't my life better?" Renowned minister and lecturer Duke Robinson has the answer. Robinson says that well-intended behavior is essential to a humane society, but carries a down side. Being nice often means we take on too much, tell little lies, strive endlessly for perfection, and fall prey to other self-defeating behaviors. Now Robinson outlines the nine unconscious mistakes nice people make daily, and he shows how to correct them and avoid unnecessary stress with life-affirming actions. Learn how to:
— Say "no" and save yourself from burnout
— Tell others what you want, and actually receive it
— Express anger in healing ways that maintain valued relationships
— Respond effectively when i0rrationally criticized or attacked
— Liberate your true self.

Are you, like many of us, too nice for your own good? This remarkable book will empower you to get what you need and deserve,out of life...and still be a nice person!

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
As pastor of Montclair Presbyterian Church of Oakland, Calif., Robinson has counseled many people facing problems created directly by their efforts to be nice. He himself has suffered from trying too hard to be too much to too many, and has learned from personal as well as professional experience to identify the most common pitfalls of "self-defeating" niceness, and the most helpful changes to overcome them. The nine "mistakes" nice people make are, Robinson says: trying to be perfect, taking on too much, not saying what they want, suppressing anger, reasoning with irrationality, telling little lies, giving advice, rescuing others and protecting those in grief. Robinson explains the motivations behind these activities and gives practical advice on how to set boundaries, maintain healthy balance, assert oneself and "still be a nice person." Avoiding overt religious language, he undergirds his message by encouraging people to "accept your acceptance" by "the love that drives the universe." Only then, he concludes, can they overcome the "desperate need to be accepted," which leads them into the nine mistakes. In a kind and loving way, Robinson offers just the push many people need to begin to set practical limits and to practice healthy self-assertiveness. (July)
Library Journal
As a minister and guest radio and TV lecturer based in California, Robinson regularly reaches an audience of three million people. Here he seeks to counsel those who find that they often make mistakes while acting from the best of intentions. He asserts that people who set out to be "good" often sabotage themselves and their own happiness by taking on too much, suppressing anger, telling lies, as well as six other mistakes. Robinson helps the reader to identify and overcome these foibles, noting that change may be a long, painful process. His eloquent message is addressed to all who are striving to live good lives. Very similar to Louise Hay's spiritual teachings and offering an upbeat and honest message, this work belongs in all counseling and public libraries.Lisa S. Wise, Broome Cty. P.L., Binghamton, N.Y.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780446673860
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • Publication date: 11/28/2000
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 279,847
  • Product dimensions: 5.25 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.75 (d)

Table of Contents

Introduction xi
Mistake #1. Trying to Be Perfect 1
Mistake #2. Taking on Too Much 31
Mistake #3. Not Saying What You Want 62
Mistake #4. Suppressing Your Anger 93
Mistake #5. Reasoning with Irrationality 128
Mistake #6. Telling Little Lies 153
Mistake #7. Giving Advice 176
Mistake #8. Rescuing Others 201
Mistake #9. Protecting Those in Grief 232
Author's Note 263
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 9, 2009

    Informative and useful

    This is a comprehensive and useful book that addresses the "too nice" syndrome. Unlike being "nice" which is admirable, "too nice" syndrome is self defeating behaviour. The author does a good job of pointing this defeatest behaviour out in ways that a "too nice" person might not realize. It also points toward some solutions. Very good book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 6, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 19, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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