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Well, you've gotten yourself into a hell of a fix, Kim Camden told herself. As fixes go, this one was a doozy, for at age thirty-nine, she found herself with two lovers.
Neither one was her husband.
What was worse, in her mind--can there even be a worse?--was that one of her lovers was her son's friend, a boy just twenty years old! Her friends, if they knew, would be appalled. Well, okay, some of them would be appalled. Some might give her a high five and say, "You go, girl!" Especially if they saw how gorgeous he was. But still, it's just not right, is it? Her conscience bothered her.
It was like there were two voices in her head, on moral, one carnal. There were so many reasons why this was wrong: Tommy was young, inexperienced and somewhat immature. Even the one right reason she allowed herself was sordid: That boy could fuck all day long.
Hey, what thirty-something woman wouldn't like that?
Her other lover was closer to her own age, thank goodness. Ben was a true alpha male: strong, caring, often demanding and, best of all, he made her feel like a woman again, which she hadn't in years. He awakened in her a long-denied need, one that shocked her. It also made her orgasms so powerful she felt transformed.
How could she give that up?
Her men represented the yin and yang of love and she found herself lost in conflicting emotions. That is, when she wasn't climaxing like a sex fiend.
It was small consolation that her present situation wasn't entirely her fault. She realized others might think that to be a ridiculous thing to say, considering how thoroughly she'd destroyed her marriage vows.But if people understood the context, they might be more forgiving. Her disappointing marriage had a least something to do with her dilemma.
She had been married at age eighteen, during her first year of college. Her husband Stuart had been twenty-two and in his senior year. Kim met Stu during a fall kegger and she thought he was cute and sexy--of course, she had been a little drunk. He had shaggy brown hair and green eyes, a nice complement to her typical "Southern California" look of dark blond hair, blue eyes. They made love--or perhaps it would be better to say, they fucked. It was a coupling born of teen-age rebellion, hormones and alcohol.
Sure enough, he got her pregnant and all hell broke loose when her parents found out. Abortion was out of the question. She was willing to drop out of college and raise the baby, but her parents strongly valued an education and they thought the couple would have a better chance if they got married and shared responsibility while Kim continued school. They offered to help raise little Kyle until she graduated. Stu, of course, would graduate in the spring and immediately start his career in engineering.
It made sense except that Kim really didn't love Stuart. She liked him well enough to fuck him now and again, but not enough to live with him for the rest of her life. But she was naïve and obedient to her parents' wishes, so she went along with the plan. They were married in the spring and little Kyle was born just four months later.
To say Stu and Kim drifted apart during their marriage would have assumed that they were close-knit at the beginning. From Kim's point of view, they were almost strangers. The pressures of raising a baby while he worked and she went to school pretty much killed any romance they might've been able to muster. By the time she graduated when Kyle was three, they had fallen into the habit of being roommates more than husband and wife.
In retrospect, Kim shouldn't have stayed with him after it became clear they didn't love each other. But she was comfortable. Stu was a good provider and a decent man, even if he didn't make sparks fly when they made love. Which was rare. Kim knew Stu would rather beat off to Internet porn than fuck her and frankly, she was glad not to have to fake her orgasms. The only true orgasm Kim ever had with Stu was when they had conceived Kyle. That may be sad, but it was the truth.
They settled into San Juan Capistrano, just south of Los Angeles, in a small tract home with a pool. Kim had a degree in advertising, so both parents worked outside the home for a while. Kyle was raised by his grandparents or babysitters for most of his early years. Kim never liked that, but she did enjoy her career--at least for a while. When Kyle was nine, Stu got a big promotion and he made enough money to allow her to become a housewife, something she secretly really wanted to do. The artificiality of the ad game had begun to wear on her, so when the opportunity came up, she grabbed it.
For the next several years, Kim was the stay-at-home mom, fixing lunches for Stu and Kyle, baking cookies, cleaning the house and fixing gourmet dinners. And yes, lying by the pool and relaxing too. She probably could've fucked a pool boy here and there, but she was content to leave things as they were. It was a shame, really, because she didn't know what she was missing. It was as if her sex drive had gone to sleep.
Her story was a true morality tale, she mused. She never looked for love outside her marriage. For nineteen years she was the dutiful wife, the loving mother to their son, the sexless drone living a life of quiet desperation.
It would be obvious to say she should have divorced Stu years before. Oprah would've slapped her upside the head! But all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas in the world wouldn't help her now. Kim was in this up to her neck and there seemed to be nothing but disaster on the horizon.
How did it all begin? Looking back, she supposed her long strange journey down the road to ruin began when their son was fourteen and a new family moved in next door. Like the Camdens, the Brightons had one son, Tommy, who was a year older than Kyle.
Kim could remember being struck by him the first time Kyle brought him over. She didn't have any sexual thoughts back then--he was far too young--but she did think he had a presence about him. He had curly blond hair that enveloped his head and a toothy grin. He was always laughing and smiling. He seemed to be the exact opposite of Kyle, who was darker and more subdued, like his father.
But the boys got along well, for reasons Kim couldn't quite fathom. She was glad to see Kyle had a friend. She got used to seeing Tommy drop by to swim or play video games with her son. Tommy really was a good kid, although he did cut a few corners now and then. And he was very bright, which may have contributed to his tendency to push the boundaries of what was acceptable.
For example, the year he turned sixteen, he got suspended for a week for stealing the answers to a physics exam. But he didn't do it the old-fashioned way, by sneaking into the school at night. No, Tommy learned there was a website accessible only to teachers and administrators where they stored exams and student grades. That way, the administrators could monitor every teacher's work. Tommy somehow got past the firewall and downloaded the test. Unfortunately, he left a trail that led right back to his parent's online account and he was busted. He got an "F" in the class and had to take it over again during the summer, which made him vow not to do something like that again.
To Kim, it was the innocent exuberance of youth. Every kid had done something like that. Hell, she got pregnant young, so she was in no position to judge him. Stu wanted to ban him from the pool for the summer, but Kim overruled him. Besides, her workaholic husband was hardly ever home, so he couldn't very well tell her anything.
That summer, when Tommy wasn't in class, he'd drop by and play around the pool with Kyle. Kim would watch them from the kitchen, making sure they didn't run or dive or violate any of the house rules.
She felt completely comfortable with him by that time and enjoyed teasing him about his good looks.
"I'll bet the girls must love a smart, handsome boy like you," she told him one day.
"Oh, no, Ms. Camden, I don't have any girlfriends," he answered, looking surprised at her question.
"Oh, come on--a good-looking boy like you? I can't believe that."
Tommy's face grew pink and he glanced at Kyle who grinned at him, enjoying his friend's discomfort.
"Hey, don't give me that look," he said. "You don't either."
"Yeah, Kyle--I don't see you bringing girls home," Kim found herself siding with Tommy and now it was her son's turn to blush.
Truth was, both boys seemed still too shy to have girls, although she found it hard to believe in Tommy's case. Tommy was studying for his driver's test, so he would soon be ready to take girls out on dates, if he wanted to. At the time, Kim guessed that Tommy's sexual development was simply slower than other sixteen-year-olds and let it go at that.
She had no idea that Tommy had a little crush on her.
Kim wasn't attracted to the boy in any kind of a sexual way during his high school years. If someone had suggested it, she would've reacted with horror. Tommy was simply her son's handsome friend--cute, but immature.
But when graduated high school two years later, she found herself eyeing him in a different light. The years between sixteen and eighteen made a big difference in Tommy. He grew three inches, and stood at six-foot-one, about three inches taller than Kyle. His voice deepened and he became more interested in girls.
Kim could see that he was growing apart from Kyle--her son was still in high school while Tommy had become a young man. It wasn't anything overt--she could just sense that Tommy was thinking about the world differently than Kyle. She was sure, in another year or two, Kyle would have caught up with him, but at their ages, sometimes a year can create a chasm between friends.
Despite their growing alienation, Tommy continued to show up regularly at the pool the summer of his eighteenth year, sometimes when Kyle was not at home. Kim didn't think too much about it, as Tommy was practically a member of the family. But she also couldn't help noticing his six-pack abs and his wide shoulders, either. He was still a kid, she told herself--but a gal can look, can't she?
Perhaps that's how she got into trouble. She looked. She should've just acted like Mrs. Cleaver and ignored Tommy, but she chose instead to engage him in conversation. Perhaps she showed a bit too much interest. Or maybe she was just fooling herself.
She'd occasionally take sidelong glance at Tommy and imagine all the girls throwing themselves at him. And she caught Tommy looking back. This surprised her, for she often felt like a dried-up old hag, not a relatively young woman of thirty-seven. But she certainly enjoyed the attention; it made her feel pretty and sexy. It was innocent fun, she told herself. Frankly, it had been years since her husband had thought she was sexy. To him, she was just the nagging wife.
Tommy's high school grades hadn't been strong enough for him to be accepted at any of the local four-year colleges. That fall, his parents wanted him to start school at the local community college, get his associate's degree and transfer to University of California, Irvine to finish out his education. But Tommy was his own man by then, on the verge of his nineteenth birthday. He told them he wanted to take a year off to "find himself." His parents told him, fine, as long as you're working full-time.
Kyle was a senior that year and Kim was soon caught up in his activities--choosing among the colleges who wanted him, trying to help him decide what he'd like to do for a living and watching him mature like Tommy. Kyle's grades had always been good and his parents were thrilled when he was accepted into UCLA.
She and Stu were very proud when Kyle graduated. Tommy came to the ceremony and they all sat together. Afterwards, they went out to dinner, like one big happy family. Now that Kyle had graduated, Kim hoped they might become fast friends again, but she noticed the relationship was still a bit strained. Perhaps it was because they were going in different directions in the fall or perhaps their friendship had simply run its course.
The pool remained an attraction, however, and it drew the boys together for a time. Then Kyle met a girl and soon began dating regularly, leaving Tommy to come over and swim by himself.
The first time that her innocent flirtations became something more started in one hot day in August, two months before Tommy's twentieth birthday. It was a Wednesday, Tommy's day off from the hardware store where he worked. Kyle had called Tommy and asked him if he wanted to go to the mall with a group of friends, but he declined. When Kyle left, Kim figured she'd have the house to herself, but within an hour, Tommy showed up, towel in hand.
"Oh? You'd rather swim, I take it?" Kim said as she opened the door. She had to say she was glad to see him, for reasons she couldn't quite explain.
"Yeah, Mrs. C, it's hot."
"It's cool at the mall," she pointed out.
"I know. But I didn't want to go hang out there. I don't like the mall all that much--unless you're going to buy something, it's kinda a waste of time."
Now that he was working full time, he had really begun to appreciate the value of a dollar, she mused.
"Well, come on in, you know you can swim here anytime." She opened the screen door and as he came in, he accidentally brushed her left breast with his arm. He didn't say a thing about it and she wasn't sure he was aware of what he had done, but she felt it immediately. It was as if a current sparked between her nipple and her clit and she gripped the doorknob tightly, her breath catching in her throat.
Kim immediately chided herself for even having that involuntary reaction and tried to put it out of her mind. But from that day on, she found just looking at him caused her a similar twinge. Perhaps she conveyed that to Tommy in some way, for his eyes seemed hungrier when he gazed at her.
They began a long, slow dance around each other.
They'd talk and a tiny bit of flirting would slip into the conversation. It wasn't intended--if anything, Kim was trying to cool it. But she couldn't help it. She'd ask him if he met any cute girls and he'd say, "Oh, I don't have anyone special, Mrs. C."
"They're kinda immature, if you want to know the truth."
"Really? I'd think they'd be mature enough for you." Meaning, of course, that he was just a kid himself.
"Yeah, but they seem too giggly and all. I'd rather not get involved with someone who's like that."
Kim nodded, then said without thinking, "So you prefer older women, huh?" She said it lightly, meant as a joke, but when he looked up and she caught his expression, she knew what he was thinking. And she supposed she had been thinking it too at a subconscious level.
She felt the heat rise in her face and she covered it by adding, "You should date an older college girl, if you feel that way," and the moment passed. But it left her feeling a bit weak in the knees.
Posted November 28, 2010
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