Total Flirt: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques Every Girl Needs to Get the Guy [NOOK Book]


Truth be told, it is not blondes who are having more fun--it is the total flirts! Flirting is half desire to flirt with someone we find attractive, and the other half is knowing how to use the "tools of the flirting trade." Our desire to connect with someone cute gives us motivation, and our body, mind, and conversational skills make a flirty encounter a fun, adventurous reality.

If you are not a born flirt, and most of us are NOT, you can ...
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Total Flirt: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques Every Girl Needs to Get the Guy

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Truth be told, it is not blondes who are having more fun--it is the total flirts! Flirting is half desire to flirt with someone we find attractive, and the other half is knowing how to use the "tools of the flirting trade." Our desire to connect with someone cute gives us motivation, and our body, mind, and conversational skills make a flirty encounter a fun, adventurous reality.

If you are not a born flirt, and most of us are NOT, you can learn this very seductive art from the best in the business, Miss Violet Blue! It is a skill you can hone into a craft. Any girl can be a good, fun, brazen, sassy, or great flirt! Total Flirt is the hip girl's handbook to getting any guy you want. Under Violet's wise and helpful tutelage, you can become a flirting diva. Or, if you are not quite a diva, this book is for you, too, and you'll find it laced throughout with humorous personality tests and wile caricaures of flirty personal you can try on or use for inspiration. Total Flirt teaches readers how to walk like a siren, talk like a bombshell, seduce like a vamp, and even how to do all this on the Internet--the essential guide to having a good time anywhere, anytime, and with anyone.
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"The kissing bible!" — National Love and Relationships Examiner

"Flirting has always been an art, not an exact science. Total Flirt: Tips, Tricks, & Techniques Every Girl Needs to Get the Guy is a guide for women to take their hunt for a man into their own hands, on how to pick up on cues from their desire and how to drop some cues themselves. Stating that body language is a major part but actual language goes far on top of it, Total Flirt is a must for any woman who wants to take control of their hunt for love." - James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief, Wisconsin Bookwatch

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573446679
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 2/1/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 202
  • Sales rank: 557,562
  • File size: 227 KB

Meet the Author

Violet Blue is the bestselling author of the sex-instruction books: The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot, The Adventurous Couple'''s Guide to Sex Toys, and The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Strap-On Sex; the editor of the erotica collections: Sweet Life, Sweet Life 2, Taboo, Best Women's Erotica series, Lips Like Sugar, Lust, and Girls on Top; she also writes about erotica, pornography, and sexual pleasure and health for various magazines, and she is the creator of the popular podcast Open Source Sex. She reports on local issues at

Violet has been interviewed and quoted by national and international magazines including O: The Oprah Magazine, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Jane, First for Women, Glamour, Grace Woman, Maxim, Marie Claire, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Blender, Penthouse, Redbook, Wired, and more; has made TV appearances on The History Channel’s Sex in History series and Playboy TV’s Sexcetera; has had radio interviews including The Dr. Laura Berman Show, The Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue Johansen, and a regular monthly guest appearance on Sirius OutQ Radio’s Derek and Romaine Show; and has been featured on selected websites including CBS Healthwatch, Jane’s Guide, and Salon. She has been the subject of feature articles in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, San Francisco Weekly, San Jose Mercury News, and the Wall Street Journal.

Violet is a trained sex educator and lectures to human sexuality students at San Francisco State University, UC Berkeley, and to trainees at the national sex crisis and information hotline San Francisco Sex Information. She lives in San Francisco. Visit her at
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Read an Excerpt

The Eyes Have It
Your eyes meet from across the room. Girl, the game is on – you can relax because you're just getting warmed up, but locking gazes (even if for a second at a time) is the foundation for every spell you're about to cast. Eye contact is considered by relationship and dating experts to be the most effective tool for flirt success. When someone is being checked out, they instinctively know. And when instinct meets direct eye contact, your flirt target can actually experience a physical, erotic rush. Your eyes are your most remarkable weapons, able to unleash flirting abilities the world has never seen. Used properly, a careless glance can inflame the desires of every man, goldfish, houseplant and possibly inanimate objects in the room.
Eye contact will always be the center of your game. Every move you make hinges on what you do with your eyes. If you stare at the ground, no guy will think you are interested, or interesting. Anyone can look at someone—but someone special makes eye contact.
If making eye contact seems daunting, try a few exercises and learn a few cheaters that'll make you comfortable with looking directly at the man (or men) you're hot for. Pay attention to what you look at next time you walk through the office, a café, or the parking lot on the way to your car. Notice where your eyes naturally roam, whether you look at the ground, the sky, or if you skip your eyes around to look at objects. In particular, how are you looking at people—are you looking at legs, feet, hands, or faces? Practice focusing your gaze directly level, at about the point people's faces would be. When you feel good about it, glance at an attractive man's face for a moment, and then back in front of you. You did it—now do it a few more times until you get the hang of it.
Your next lesson in eye contact for the shy is to practice on a real-life sexy guy, in a conversation. You don’t need to stare raptly into his eyes until your eyes dry out and your eyelids twitch, and you start to see little fuzzy things out of the corners of your eyes. Instead, allow your eyes to travel around his face slowly, like a second hand sweeping around a clock from noon to midnight. Rest on his eyes, and begin again. Do this whenever you feel nervous about looking into his eyes for too long, and soon you'll be captivating him with your confident gaze before you even realize it.
But wait, there's more. Eye contact is a finely honed technique for mesmerizing hotties, and you're going to learn to wield it like Xena's sword, or Buffy's stake. Try an experiment in eye contact, and think of it as exercise – like eye contact with intent is a muscle you're learning to make stronger. Pick a day when you're feeling sassy and make eye contact with sexy, total strangers—at least two. Five in a day, then you're at the next level: making deliberate, eye contact with men you find attractive. Try it once, and you'll see how easy and fun it is—no one gets hurt, rejected, and there's no risk involved. Try it again and again, like rehearsals, and you'll be ready to rock harder than Joan Jett.

Looks That Thrill
You don’t have to be aggressive to reap the benefits from these eye contact flirt techniques—but being a bit brazen doesn't hurt. Think about the goal.

* When you have the beast in your sights, give your intended more than a glance. Let your eyes linger on his for a relaxed breath. Then decide if you want to keep contact for an intense across-the-room flirt, or move your eyes away to be a bit more playful in your approach.
* If he's playing hard to get, or you want to make him pay more attention, draw attention to your eyes by touching the corner of your eye as an adjustment, slightly touching the hair around your forehead, adjusting your glasses or touching a pen to your temple.
* Make eye contact, and then break it to look at his lips, and then back again. Smile. This can be repeated with success throughout conversations.
* Truly bad girls will make eye contact, slide their eyes down the front of his body, and then back up. Extra brazen points for lingering on the chest or hips.
* Of course, maintaining eye contact when you need to blink is very sexy, and lets him know you don’t want to miss a minute of his time.

Smile Sorcery
The easiest way to disarm, relax and intrigue any man is with a smile. It sounds simple and corny, but when you're flirting, a smile dancing on your lips is an instant relaxer, and makes guys curious about what you’re smiling about. A smile gives the unconscious impression that you have a great sense of humor, are approachable and that being around you is safe and indicative of a good time. Yes, a smile says all that without words. And even a light smile while talking can make you appear that much more inviting.
Next time you people-watch, look around at how everyone is holding their mouths, and how it speaks volumes about your impression of them. Someone with tight unsmiling lips seems stressed, unfriendly. Another person might have a frown, or be posing with a serious mean look—no smile here, just unapproachable people. Find people in the crowd who are smiling, laughing, or have just the tiniest hint of a smile playing around the corners of their mouths. See how they look more attractive, friendly, and like someone you might ask for directions from if you were lost? We instinctively feel good around people who are smiling—and that's just how you'll want any potential flirt-targets to feel when they look at you: good, at ease, relaxed and warm toward you.
A smile does indeed weave a spell around you. But you don’t need to look like Mommie Dearest walking through the subway or standing at the snack table. No, a maniacal smile will send the opposite message, unless you are laughing and smiling like a loon for a reason. You just need the tiniest smile at the corners of your mouth to look sexy, happy and open. Keep your lips closed, and gently curve the edges up in a half-smile, and this is the sexy smile you'll use when you make an entrance, stroll sexily across a room, gaze at paintings, survey the last of the snack table's cheese in a can, or anything else you happen to be doing.
Our lips are one of the most suggestive, sensual erogenous zones we've got—and right on our faces. When a boy is interested in you, he'll look at your lips almost as much as your eyes. You can slyly direct him to look at your lips to subliminally suggest sex throughout your entire communication with him, no matter if you're talking or not. Knowing that your lips look supple and shiny (see chapter 1), you can play around with what touches your lips, how they are touched and what goes in and out of them. Bite
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Table of Contents


xi Introduction: Be A Diva

1 Femme Fatale Flirt
The Flirting Game: Three Ways to Play * The Pick-Up Artist * How Devastating Are Your Skills?

2 Be Noticed, Be Wanted
Get Into Flirt Mode * Flirt Mode Checklist * Prescriptions for Flirt Success: Confidence Cures for Every Girl * Show, Don't Tell * Pussycat Walk: Flirt Mode In Motion

3 Silent Seduction Secrets: Flirt Without Words
The Eyes Have It * Looks That Thrill * Smile Sorcery * Never Fail Techniques: Smile Styles * The Five Elements of Wordless Seduction * The Surprising Power of Suggestion: Hypnotize Him With Your Hands * Hand Commands He Can't Resist * Flirt Fail: Forgetting Your Feet

4 Know Your Lines
The Perfect Approach (Every Time) * Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me? * The SAS Test * More Opening Lines * Flirt Hacks: Flirting Online

5 Easy Tricks to be A Tempting Treat
Sound Sexy * Say It, Don’t Spray It * Tricks to Transfix * Use Your Powers of Hypnosis * Speed Flirting

6 Ready-To-Wear Seduction
Flirting With Style: Your Seduction Persona * Sweetheart Chic * Diva Vogue * Femme Fatale Bombshell * Ruler of All Mankind Seductress * Wicked Flirt Checklist

7 Girl On The Prowl
Flirt, Friend, or Pass: Does He Want Me? * You Are The Huntress * A Guide to Men in the Wild * Reading Signals: Your X-Ray Ray-Bans

8 Miss Titanic: Avoid a Flirt Disaster
How Do You Slay The Competition? * The Interference Test * You're Mistaken; He's Taken * Eject Button * Flirting With Disaster * Don't Do It * Flirt Fails and Fixes

9 The Secrets of Pick-Up Artists and Seduction Pros
The Pick-Up Artist * The Game, and How to Not Get Played * Their Tricks, Remixed for Flirt Fatales * Staying Honest * Dirty Tricks * Closing The Deal
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 2.5
( 10 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Posted June 20, 2011

    Not worth the money.

    This is bad advice. What kind of woman would tell young women or any woman to go up to a man and ask them, "how do you feel about 'intimate haircuts'? -or- Suggest a threesome. Come on man is this for real? No wonder men have absolutely no respect for women, if they are acting like this, they don't deserve respect. This type of behavior could also be dangerous. If your desire is to act like a dime a dozen cheap slut then this book is for you if you want to retain your self-respect and respect of others, especially mens respect, read: Sexy and Confident by Ash Green and preserve your dignity.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 8, 2011

    Ok book, kinda funny too.

    I came into this book with an open mind and overall I'd say it was just ok. Some of the things really made me laugh but other things were just stuff which may be interesting to a teen or a young girl in her 20's. It has flirting tips, do's and don'ts as well as how to get your guy and how to get out of it once you start flirting and realize he's a dud. Overall not a bad book to pass the time. A quick read, but also not one to be taken "too seriously".

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