Totally Awesome, Super-Cool Bible Stories as Drawn by Nerdy Ned

Overview

Join Ned as he draws—and learns—his way through the Bible!

Combining International Children’s Bible® text with funny illustrations, this Bible storybook brings to life the most popular Bible stories with a humorous but respectful twist. Our narrator Ned will guide late elementary and middle-grade kids through the Bible—keeping them smiling the entire time. Even reluctant readers will engage with the Bible stories and come away with newfound ...

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Overview

Join Ned as he draws—and learns—his way through the Bible!

Combining International Children’s Bible® text with funny illustrations, this Bible storybook brings to life the most popular Bible stories with a humorous but respectful twist. Our narrator Ned will guide late elementary and middle-grade kids through the Bible—keeping them smiling the entire time. Even reluctant readers will engage with the Bible stories and come away with newfound Bible knowledge and clarity.

These funny sketches will grab kids’ attention—and keep it—as they see their favorite Bible stories relate to their lives in a whole new way!

Meets national education standards.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781400320257
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 10/2/2012
  • Pages: 228
  • Sales rank: 484,427
  • Age range: 6 - 10 Years
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Totally Awesome, Super-Cool Bible Stories


By Nerdy Ned

Tommy Nelson

Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc.
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4003-2025-7


Chapter One

And Then There Was Broccoli

Genesis 1

In the beginning, there was nothing, except for God. I mean, there was really NOTHING. Much worse than the kind of nothing you feel like you're staring into when you're grounded and confined to your room.

There was no land, no sea, no air, no outer space, no animals, no chocolate, no candy corn, no ice cream, no broccoli. You get the big, blank picture.

God was moving around in the nothing, and He decided to go on a massive creating spree. And it was more exciting than any 3-D movie extravaganza you've ever seen.

God said, "Let there be light!" and boom! Just like that, there was light. God saw that the light looked good. (Of course it looked good; God made it!) God called the light day and the dark night—end of Day One.

On Days Two and Three, God called into existence the sky and named the dry land earth, and the waters became seas.

Then God invented farming and covered the earth in all kinds of plants. From giant redwood trees to microscopic algae and every fruit or vegetable you love or hate to eat, the whole planet was covered—just like that.

On Day Four, God decided to go nuts up in the sky. For daytime, He whipped up a flaming ball of gas called the sun. For the night, He made a cooler earth-orbiting rock called the moon. Then God dusted the entire universe with a jatrillion twinkling stars.

The Name Game

Genesis 1–2

God decided He wanted some creatures to live on this excellent planet, so He created animals. First, the water dwellers. He filled the seas with all sorts of slimy, scaly, swimming things. Big fish, little fish, pretty fish, ugly fish, and whales (which are mammals, not fish). Then He filled the skies with feathered, taloned, flying things. Sparrows, eagles, robins, falcons—God made them all on Day Five.

On Day Six, God made dogs and cats, beetles and arachnids, lions, bears, honey badgers, spiders, mosquitoes, ants, mice, marmots, ferrets, duckbilled platypuses, and everything else you've ever or never seen in a zoo. He made them all, and they looked good—although personally I think God probably laughed when He made the platypuses. Those things sure are funny looking.

After God assembled every animal ever, He still had the energy and imagination to create the coolest and most complicated being of them all: humans.

God made humans in His own image. God made two types of humans—male and female.

Then God gave those crazy kids everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. He actually told them to rule over everything on earth. The man and woman would be in charge of the plants, animals, fish—all of it! They even got to name all of the creepy, crawly, furry, and flying creatures.

God blessed the new people and said, "Look at all this good stuff I've given you."

God made it all, and it was very good. Then He took a nap—er, rested. God rested on the Seventh Day.

Just One Bite

Genesis 2–3

Okay, I have a confession. This next story makes me want to yell when I read it. Like when you're watching a scary movie, and the guy or girl starts walking down a creepy path alone, and you just want to scream, "Don't do that! That is the worst idea ever!" I want to do that every time I read this story.

So the first humans were named Adam and Eve. They had everything they could ever want in their garden of Eden home—except for the fruit of one tree.

"If you ever eat fruit from that tree, you will die," God told them.

Pretty clear, right? THIS TREE = DEATH.

Well, one day a talking snake slithered up to Eve and struck up some chitchat. "God wasn't being honest with you," the snake said. "C'mon, you won't die if you eat fruit from that tree. It's good for you. You might even learn some cool stuff if you try it."

Of course, everything the sneaky snake said was a big fat lie. That snake was the ultimate con artist.

And (cue the spooky music) Eve took a bite. Then Adam showed up, and she gave some of the fruit to him, and of course, he ate it (cue louder spooky music).

THEN ... no one choked and died a horrible death.

BUT ...

A really bad feeling came over Adam and Eve. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you've done something super wrong? That totally guilty, scared feeling? I think that's what it was like for Adam and Eve.

Suddenly they realized they were naked, so they threw on some fig leaf pants. They knew that what they had done was wrong, but they had never been in trouble before. Adam and Eve didn't know what God was going to do, and they were really scared. So when they heard God walking in the garden, they hid.

"Where are you?" God called.

Adam answered, "I was afraid, so I hid."

"Why are you afraid?" God asked. "Did you eat some of the fruit I told you not to eat?"

"Well, Eve ate it first. Then she gave it to me," Adam said.

God asked Eve, "What did you do?"

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Totally Awesome, Super-Cool Bible Stories by Nerdy Ned Copyright © 2012 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.. Excerpted by permission of Tommy Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

And Then There Was Broccoli....................3
The Name Game....................6
Just One Bite....................9
Earth 2.0....................12
You're Not Speaking My Language....................16
The First Two Ridiculously Old People to Have a Baby....................20
Double Trouble....................23
Sibling Rivalry: Extreme Edition....................26
VIP Joseph....................28
Family Reunion Forgiveness....................32
Bring Your Own Basket....................34
Warning: Fire NOT to Be Used for Making S'mores....................36
Plague-a-palooza....................38
A Divine Shortcut....................41
All-You-Can-Eat Manna....................44
H2Oh, My Goodness....................46
Layin' Down the Law....................49
Mooooo!....................52
When a Donkey Talks, You'd Better Listen....................56
God's Super-Secret Victory Plan....................58
The Lady Judge....................60
Gideon the Unimpressive....................62
Samson and His Hairy Problem....................64
"I'm Sticking with You"....................68
Things Aren't What They Seem....................70
Who Needs a King?....................74
An Unlikely King....................76
One Killer Shot....................78
Best Friends Forever....................80
You Just Got Solomoned!....................82
Never-Ending Miracle Bread....................84
Elijah's Hot Ride....................86
Biblical Zit Cure....................88
The Most Impressive Girl Ever....................90
Things Could Always Get Worse....................94
This Is Not a Story About Zombies....................96
Daniel's Low-Carb Diet....................98
Faith on Fire....................100
Lion with Lockjaw....................102
A Guy, a Fish, and a Very Bad City....................106
It's a Boy!....................114
Breakfast, Locusts; Lunch, Locusts; Dinner, Locusts....................116
The Perfect Baby, the Perfect Night....................118
Some Shepherds Get a Miracle....................120
Twinkle, Twinkle, Ginormous Star!....................122
Missing: The Son of God....................126
Coming Soon: Jesus Christ....................128
John Baptizes Jesus....................130
Desert Showdown....................132
He Didn't Even Need Bait....................134
Jesus & Co....................136
Put Your Lamp (and Tap Shoes) on a Stand....................138
The Trouble With Sandcastles....................140
Faith Comes Through the Rooftop....................144
Storm Chaser....................146
Also Not a Story About Zombies....................148
Healing Party at the Bethesda Pool....................150
A+ in Holy Math....................152
Kids Rock....................154
Consider Your Mind Blown....................156
Jesus Walks on Water? Rad!....................160
Fishy Money....................163
The Good Samaritan ... and Penelope's Best Date Ever....................165
The Prodigal Son Gets a Party....................167
A Short Guy Gets a Second Chance....................170
A Mighty Mite....................172
A Meal Not to Be Missed....................174
The Only Way....................178
Zzzzzz ....................180
Judas Sells Out....................182
No Way: Peter Denies Jesus....................184
Justice Was Not Served....................186
The Worst Day Ever....................188
Jesus Is Buried in a Tomb....................190
The Best Day Ever....................192
Welcome Back, Jesus....................194
Doubting Thomas Doubts No More....................196
Gospel World Tour....................198
Jesus Goes to Heaven....................202
Holy Spirit Onboard....................204
Stephen: Bully Magnet....................206
Saul Sees the Light....................208
Jailbird Missionaries....................211
Paul Gets Shipwrecked....................214
Paul Survives a Snakebite....................218
The World Before Text Messages....................220
Don't Call It a Comeback....................224
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