Tough Love (Revised Edition): How Parents Can Deal with Drug Abuse

Overview

Tough Love is hope. It is help. It is a way of recovery for drug abusers, and a positive, supportive program for their families. Tough Love is a gift of love and a gift of life for those who practice its plan. It is a book for all parents, especially those whose children are now on drugs or are exposed to those who use drugs. Pauline Neff has gathered enthralling, real-life accounts of young drug users who needed help and of their parents' role in seeing that they received it. Eight families describe, in very ...

See more details below
Paperback (REV)
$11.65
BN.com price
(Save 16%)$13.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (48) from $1.99   
  • New (9) from $3.88   
  • Used (39) from $1.99   
Sending request ...

Overview

Tough Love is hope. It is help. It is a way of recovery for drug abusers, and a positive, supportive program for their families. Tough Love is a gift of love and a gift of life for those who practice its plan. It is a book for all parents, especially those whose children are now on drugs or are exposed to those who use drugs. Pauline Neff has gathered enthralling, real-life accounts of young drug users who needed help and of their parents' role in seeing that they received it. Eight families describe, in very graphic, heartrending terms, how their children successfully beat the drug habit through The Palmer Drug Abuse Program. PDAP is a privately financed twelve-step program, similar to the steps of AA. Ms. Neff explains each step to show how families can interpret and work through these steps in their own lives. Thousands of young people have found help through this method. Families have been reunited, and parents' own lives have been changed drastically in the process. If you are a parent of a young person in America today, Tough Love may be the most important book you will ever read. It may save your life.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Having a child addicted to alcohol or drugs is one of the most heartbreaking and challenging problems that parents may face. Here, in a revision of her bestselling 1982 book, Neff offers practical, loving and completely updated help to those struggling with that situation. Although the specific 12-step program that Neff stresses does not exist everywhere, parents can adopt the principles she outlines and form support groups with other parents. Central to Neff's approach is "detachment from the abuser," which entails allowing the abuser to "bottom out" without "padding the corners" (often called "enabling" in other references). This method, argues Neff, provides one of the few hopes for the abuser and his or her family. It is also terrifying, however, to parents who lack the support and distancing of the tough-love approach. By far the largest part of Neff's book is devoted to the stories of seven families who have faced the crisis of the addicted child and come through it stronger and more spiritually intact. In short, this book should be required reading for every parent with a child in trouble. (Mar.)
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780687018253
  • Publisher: Abingdon Press
  • Publication date: 4/28/1996
  • Edition description: REV
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 158
  • Sales rank: 378,719
  • Product dimensions: 5.36 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.43 (d)

Table of Contents

Preface 11
1 Choices 15
2 But Does It Work? 23
3 The Family That Had Everything Under Control 27
4 The Family That Didn't Give Up 47
5 The Family That Didn't Have to Suffer 61
6 The Mother Who Never Made Waves 71
7 The Mother Who Learned from Pain 85
8 The Family That Was Determined to Be Perfect 97
9 The Father Who Knew What Was Right 105
10 The Dope Fiend Who Got Straight 113
11 Straight Talk from a PDAP Counselor 133
12 The Twelve Steps of PDAP 135
13 The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous 136
14 The Twelve Steps 137
15 The Future 157
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2012

    Can also ruin families completely!

    My mother read the book, when I was in my early teens (no I was not and have never been an addict or drinker- merely just a hurting teenager suffering an abusive childhood, traumatic divorce and abandonment from both my parents)...

    She "applied" the principles (the way she understood them to be) of the book to raising me after her divorce from my abusive father... needless to say... what I needed was compassion, understanding and gentle love. She rejected me to the point that I was eventually placed in foster care... 25 years later she is still claiming that she "tough loved" me, and she believes she did right by me. We have not spoken or seen one another in 24 years!!!!

    Thanks to her using this so called method... I lost my entire family, since everyone thought I was being "difficult" in the face of dire circumstances. Name one teen going through puberty, being witness to the most vile abuse of her mother, and herself and her sibling, facing a divorce with a smile and no attitude? I was a difficult teen, I was cheeky, tried to run away, had boyfriends, was disrespectful at times... but never ever did I smoke, turn to drugs or alcohol and yet I was treated as if I was an addict. I was (according to most parents) an ordinary teen, trying to deal with extraordinary circumstances in the most ordinary "teen like" way I could.

    She never did right by me... what I needed was to be told I was loved, not told that I was being rejected because of who I was and how I behaved. What I needed to know was that in spite of the circumstances, I would always have a mother and father... but instead, I was made to feel that I was worthless, and unloved.

    Can't say I rate this book very highly. It ruined my right to being properly parented.

    I can't say it was all the book's fault either though, since I know my mother was looking for any excuse to get rid of me, even if it meant misusing potentially effective tools for a completely different scenario.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 1, 2008

    Would reccomend this book to teens who are heading down the wrong path too!

    I read the original book that was published in 1982. I was only a pre teen at the time. I enjoyed the book more than words can explain. It scared me away from ever trying drugs. I didn't want my life to end up like some of the people featured in the book. I never wanted to put my parents/family through what the parents in the book went through.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 10, 2008

    Read it and keep...

    The stories and no-nonsense suggestions may not apply perfectly this time around, but after you've read this book, keep it. You will then have it again when you need it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2005

    Highly recommend this book!

    I read this book years ago and have just ordered it to read again! As a parent of an adult crack addict, I remembered just how much this book helped me back then when my son was into drugs. It didn't change him, but it sure helped me deal with things a lot better and to understand just how much we were enabling him so long ago. After falling back into the same habit of sending money, etc. to him I realized I have once again been enabling him. This book was the one major saving grace for me back then and I'm sure it will help me as much to read it again!! PLEASE! If you are falling into these paterns....READ THIS BOOK!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)