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|2||But Does It Work?||23|
|3||The Family That Had Everything Under Control||27|
|4||The Family That Didn't Give Up||47|
|5||The Family That Didn't Have to Suffer||61|
|6||The Mother Who Never Made Waves||71|
|7||The Mother Who Learned from Pain||85|
|8||The Family That Was Determined to Be Perfect||97|
|9||The Father Who Knew What Was Right||105|
|10||The Dope Fiend Who Got Straight||113|
|11||Straight Talk from a PDAP Counselor||133|
|12||The Twelve Steps of PDAP||135|
|13||The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous||136|
|14||The Twelve Steps||137|
Posted January 15, 2012
My mother read the book, when I was in my early teens (no I was not and have never been an addict or drinker- merely just a hurting teenager suffering an abusive childhood, traumatic divorce and abandonment from both my parents)...
She "applied" the principles (the way she understood them to be) of the book to raising me after her divorce from my abusive father... needless to say... what I needed was compassion, understanding and gentle love. She rejected me to the point that I was eventually placed in foster care... 25 years later she is still claiming that she "tough loved" me, and she believes she did right by me. We have not spoken or seen one another in 24 years!!!!
Thanks to her using this so called method... I lost my entire family, since everyone thought I was being "difficult" in the face of dire circumstances. Name one teen going through puberty, being witness to the most vile abuse of her mother, and herself and her sibling, facing a divorce with a smile and no attitude? I was a difficult teen, I was cheeky, tried to run away, had boyfriends, was disrespectful at times... but never ever did I smoke, turn to drugs or alcohol and yet I was treated as if I was an addict. I was (according to most parents) an ordinary teen, trying to deal with extraordinary circumstances in the most ordinary "teen like" way I could.
She never did right by me... what I needed was to be told I was loved, not told that I was being rejected because of who I was and how I behaved. What I needed to know was that in spite of the circumstances, I would always have a mother and father... but instead, I was made to feel that I was worthless, and unloved.
Can't say I rate this book very highly. It ruined my right to being properly parented.
I can't say it was all the book's fault either though, since I know my mother was looking for any excuse to get rid of me, even if it meant misusing potentially effective tools for a completely different scenario.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 9, 2014
To the Anonymous poster:
It's like I wrote your entire post myself. Your experience with this so-called parenting almost mirrors mine exactly, with the exception that I was never put in foster care. Rather than being placed with another family, after my mother kicked me out (for what would be considered normal teenage behavior) I was left homeless and lived on the streets. It was only then that I was exposed to drugs, criminals, and a lifestyle that I never wanted any part of. My mother was the one who put me there, by the advice of this book. From there I was forced to drop out of high school because I had no place to live and no way to get to school. There went my future. (Thanks, mom.) Luckily I was smart enough and strong enough to stay away from drugs when it would have been so easy to go down that road, as I saw so many others do. It took a good 10 years to put my life back together after that. The techniques in this book are a terrible excuse for parenting and no child should ever have to endure the feeling of being unwanted or uncared for by their parents.
Posted May 1, 2008
I read the original book that was published in 1982. I was only a pre teen at the time. I enjoyed the book more than words can explain. It scared me away from ever trying drugs. I didn't want my life to end up like some of the people featured in the book. I never wanted to put my parents/family through what the parents in the book went through.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 10, 2008
The stories and no-nonsense suggestions may not apply perfectly this time around, but after you've read this book, keep it. You will then have it again when you need it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 14, 2005
I read this book years ago and have just ordered it to read again! As a parent of an adult crack addict, I remembered just how much this book helped me back then when my son was into drugs. It didn't change him, but it sure helped me deal with things a lot better and to understand just how much we were enabling him so long ago. After falling back into the same habit of sending money, etc. to him I realized I have once again been enabling him. This book was the one major saving grace for me back then and I'm sure it will help me as much to read it again!! PLEASE! If you are falling into these paterns....READ THIS BOOK!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.