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Trading Places Workbook for Men
The Best Move You'll Ever Make in Your Marriage
By Les Parrott Leslie Parrott Zondervan
Copyright © 2008
The Foundation for Healthy Relationships
All right reserved.
Chapter One Exploring Your Own Social Style
Accurately identifying your social style is essential to trading places. We've developed an online assessment, the Trading Places Inventory, for helping you do just that. The exercise here centers on this assessment. We're providing you with a paper-pencil version of the assessment in this workbook just in case you don't have access to a computer. This will require you to tabulate your scores yourself, and it won't provide the instant graphic depiction of your social style, but it still does the job.
If you have already taken the assessment, skip to the bottom of this exercise for some additional suggestions.
The Trading Places Inventory
Below are a number of pairs of personal characteristics or traits. For each pair, choose the trait that describes you more than it describes your partner. Mark A if you are more "imaginative," or B if you value being "rational" when compared to your partner. Some of the traits will appear twice, but always in combination with a different trait. There are no right or wrong answers. Please be honest.
I Am More ...
1. a imaginative b rational 2. a helpful b quick-witted 3. a neat b sympathetic 4. a level-headed b efficient 5. a intelligent b considerate 6. a self-reliant b ambitious 7. a respectful b original 8. a creative b sensible 9. a generous b individualistic 10. a responsible b original 11. a capable b tolerant 12. a trustworthy b wise 13. a neat b logical 14. a forgiving b gentle 15. a efficient b respectful 16. a alert b cooperative 17. a imaginative b helpful 18. a realistic b moral 19. a considerate b wise 20. a sympathetic b individualistic 21. a ambitious b patient
Now take a moment to score the first part of this questionnaire. Give yourself a point for each answer that matches the following key. Note that items 1, 4, 6, 8, 10, and 13 are "buffer" items and are not used in the scoring.
2. a ________ 3. b ________ 5. b ________ 7. a ________ 9. a ________ 11. b ________ 12. a ________ 14. a ________ 15. b ________ 16. b ________ 17. a ________ 18. b ________ 19. a ________ 20. a ________ 21. b ________ TOTAL: _________________
Now answer the following questions by circling a number beside each of the items below.
Rarely or A little Some of A good Most or none of of the the time part of all of the time time the time the time
1. When my partner and I have a disagreement, I win. 1 2 3 4 5 2. I'm more hard-driving than my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I'm very good at solving problems for my partner. 1 2 3 4 5 4. Compared to my partner, I keep my feelings in check. _ _ _ _ _ 1 2 3 4 5 5. I'm good at accurately analyzing a situation or issue in our marriage. 1 2 3 4 5
Excerpted from Trading Places Workbook for Men by Les Parrott Leslie Parrott Copyright © 2008 by The Foundation for Healthy Relationships. Excerpted by permission.
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