The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends

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The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends Pub. Date: 2/8/2011 Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.

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Overview

Chad Eastham, with his typical wit and wisdom for teens, brings much sought after advice on girls' favorite topics including dating, love, friendship, and other important stuff.

Chad shines some much-needed light on these major issues for teens. Rather than let their feelings navigate them blindly through their tumultuous adolescence, Chad offers clarity, some surprising revelations, and answers to some of their biggest questions: How do I know who to date? When should I start dating? How should I start dating? Is this really love? And, Why do guys I like just want to be friends?

Packed with humor that adds to the sound advice, this book will help teens make better decisions, have healthier relationships, and be more prepared for their futures.
Just a few things girls will learn include: Five things you need to know about love; Eight dumb dating things even smart people do; Ten reasons why teens are unhappy; and Ten things happy teens do.

Any teen can live a happier, healthier life: they just need to hear The Truth.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781400316410
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 2/8/2011
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 157,963
Age range: 12 - 17 Years
Product dimensions: 5.62 (w) x 8.34 (h) x 0.74 (d)

INTRODUCTION....................V
1. WHAT'S UP, MILLEYS?....................1
2 DATING, FACTOIDS, AND QUARK-GLUON PLASMA....................13
3. DUMB DATING MISTAKES—THAT EVEN SMART PEOPLE MAKE....................34
4. WHAT TO EXPECT WHILE YOU'RE EXPECTING— A DATE....................52
5. LOVE AND OTHER CHEMICAL IMBALANCES....................65
6. JUST FRIENDS!?!....................87
7. WHAT DO THEY WANT, ANYWAY?....................109
8. CRAZY, DUMB, AND MIXED-UP FEELINGS....................131
9. MISERABLE TEENAGERS....................143
10. HAPPY TEENAGERS....................167
11. IT'S NOT OKAY TO BE DUMB....................188
12. THE PROBLEM WITH FALLING IN LOVE WITH MYTHICAL CREATURES....................213
13. WHY THIS BOOK COULD BE STUPID....................223
14. LOTS OF OTHER IMPORTANT STUFF THAT WE'RE FINALLY GETTING TO LATER....................239
NOTES....................243

First Chapter

The Truth about Dating, Love & Just Being Friends

By CHAD EASTHAM

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2011 Chad Eastham
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4003-1641-0

Chapter One

WHAT'S UP, MILLEYS?

Do you know what large bird buries its head in the sand? The ostrich, right? No. Wrong. There has never been a single documented account of the largest bird in the world burying its head in the sand. It was a guy named Pliny the Elder, a Roman historian, who most likely mistook his observation of the giant bird. What really happens is that the bird lies down on the ground, usually on its nest, and flattens its neck out, so that it can scan the horizon and look for predators. Pliny also thought that the ostrich could stare at its eggs with such intensity that it would make them hatch. Really, man? 'Cause that seems logical.

So what's the point with the ostrich? The point is that we make all kinds of observations about all kinds of things. Some are right, some not so much. For example, people say things all the time about teens and their habits, opinions, and lifestyles. And they love to talk about how texting makes you dumb. Not true. It does, however, make you a horrible driver. So please ... stop trying to kill pedestrians!

Although it's not good to text and drive, it is good to make observations. It can be helpful to know the habits of the people you are traveling through life with. Not so you can be like everyone else, but so you can at least know some of the things that make you a part of the group. Just keep an open mind and make careful observations. I mean, you don't want to be an ostrich trying to bury its head in the sand only to find out that you aren't supposed to do that. Mainly because you would suffocate, and you would be a bald bird.

Traveling the Teen Highway

You may not know this about yourself, but right now you're on the road to somewhere. Do you know where you're going? No? Well, that could be a bad thing, but it's not necessarily. Being uncertain of where you are going doesn't make you lost. I mean, I guess it sometimes does, obviously. But not always. Sometimes it's okay to not know exactly where you are headed, at least not right away. This kind of represents your teen years in a lot of ways. You are figuring stuff out. You don't have to have it all "figured out" already. Big distinction. You are on a journey, and that is the adventure of it.

On any journey, it's helpful to observe the other journeyers traveling with you. It would be sad to be hiking along in the woods for years and never see the fifty other people hiking along with you just a few feet away. Then one day you suddenly see them, and you're like, "Oh man, have you been out here the whole time? Seriously? We probably could have talked and shared some beef jerky or trail mix or something, you know. How did I not see you?"

It's sad when people do that. 'Cause it's fun to travel with others, especially when you are all on the same journey. So let's check out a few facts about your fellow life travelers.

A Snapshot of Your Generation

Maybe you hate computers. Maybe you love texting. Maybe you grew up in a religious and/or spiritual environment. Maybe you want to wait until you have seen Africa and Europe before you have children. Maybe you have kissed a lot of people or have even messed around. Maybe you just hold hands and are saving your first kiss until you are married. You could be a capitalistic, youth-group fanatic who loves Jesus and Republicans, or you could be a person who couldn't care less about politics. Maybe you love aardvarks. Get my drift? You could add twenty-five more categories of likes and dislikes, and you might be on either side of any of them. Either way, you simply fall into a very mixed bag of young people who have been born since the 1980s.

You are the Millennial Generation. Or as I sometimes like to call you, the Milleys. But I'm not great at nicknames.

And while you are unique and special—just like everyone else—there are a lot of things you and your peers may have in common, or not. So here is a little snapshot that describes some, only some, of you and the people in your "generation."

Sorry, You're Labeled

The Millennial Generation is meant to refer to those born from about 1980 until just after 2000. This means that you are the first generation of people who will become adults in a new millenium—the 2000s. The people before you are referred to as Generation X; they were born from 1965 to about 1980. Actually, I'm in the Millennial Generation with you, although I teeter on the edge of Generation X.

Before Generation X, we had the Baby Boomer Generation, which many of your parents fall into. Baby Boomers were born after World War II when everyone went on a baby-making crusade and moved to the suburbs. This was the age of the "white picket fence" and the mom who always had dinner ready for the family, which she cooked while wearing a dress and an apron. Not something you identify with much. Before that, there was the Silent Generation, which includes adults born from 1928 through 1945. The Silent Generation were the children of the Great Depression and World War II. Their title referred to their conformist views (that means just going along with the crowd) and their loyalty to politics. The Greatest Generation were the adults who fought in World War II, and the Lost Generation was the generation before that; they fought in World War I. So, you see, generations—like people—have different personalities. That's the simple way of saying it.

Why is this important, Chad? I'm starting to get bored.

It's important because YOU, the Millennials, are creating your own personality as well. You are thought to be very expressive, more liberal than other generations, open to new ideas and change, and more confident and upbeat than other generations.

And while you are more diverse, both in ethnicity and in culture than older adults, your generation is, in general, less religious. You are less likely than other generations to serve in the military. You are also on track to be the most educated generation in American history. Yippee, right? I mean, the access to information is not even comparable to what it was fifty years ago. What's up, Internet?

You are the first generation to have a full-on romantic relationship with your phones, computers, and any other media-based digital device that becomes the latest and greatest craze. You—both guys and girls—are much better at multitasking than any other generation in the history of the world. I mean, who has just an alarm clock by their bed? You have a phone with Internet access and an alarm clock on it. That way you can tell the time and make sure you are updated instantly if Jeff posts that he just watched a funny video on YouTube, and then you can call your best friend about it. Earth-shattering news like that can't wait more than three minutes to be told, after all.

This also leads to a lifestyle of "convenience" habits that aren't always smart. Like driving and doing anything else while you're driving! More than two-thirds of teens admit to texting while driving. Just drive! You are going to kill someone! Don't hit my grandma; she's little!

Almost 83 percent of teens sleep with a phone next to them.

Here are some more interesting and unique things about the people you're growing up with:

% More than 75 percent of teens have created a profile on a social networking site. Although most do still place privacy boundaries on their profiles. (Good idea, by the way.) % One in five teens has posted a video of themselves online. % Almost 40 percent of Millennials have a tattoo; 18 percent have six or more. I don't have one. Please make sure your parents don't yell at me as though I said for you to go get a dragon tattoo or the Chinese symbol for tambourine. Thanks.

Technology Use for Teens

% 87 percent of teens use the Internet. % 74 percent of teens who use the Internet also instant message. % 81 percent of teens on the Internet play games online. % 43 percent of teens have bought things on the Internet. (I do love Amazon.) % 20 percent of teens say the Internet is their primary tool for communication. % 37 percent use instant messaging to say something they would not or could not have said in person or over the phone. (So not a good idea.) % 50 percent of teens have sent a message to a stranger. (Also not a good idea.)

Religion-ish-ness

On paper, you are the least religious American generation ever known. About 25 percent of young people are unaffiliated with any religion. However, not belonging does not necessarily mean you don't believe in God. Teens pray as often as older generations did when they were teens. But today's teens seem to want to understand God as he applies to their lives directly, more than just understanding God and religion from a place of theology.

Parent Stuff

Roughly 60 percent of young people today were raised by both parents, which is a smaller percentage than other generations. But in contrast to that statistic, Milleys place marriage and parenthood above both financial and career success. That says something. But it doesn't say that you are in a hurry to get married. The average age of newlyweds is now over twenty-six years old, and that number is increasing slightly and will probably level off at around age thirty. The number of unmarried women who are having babies has also gone up. (Something that will have big implications for your kids one day.)

Emotional Items

About 20 percent of youth will experience depression sometime during their teenage years. Eating disorders are another common issue surrounding teens and young adults. Although a lot of attention is given to it, the incidence of eating disorders among girls is actually lower than you might think: anorexia is around 1 to 2 percent, although in a particular school or community the number can be much higher. Bulimia is estimated to affect 2 to 3 percent of young people. These lower percentages are good news for young people.

The most beneficial thing people can do for the treatment of depression is to walk consistently. The benefits of walking and exercise are about twice as successful in alleviating the symptoms of depression as any drugs on the market. And walking is free and keeps you healthy.

Attitudes on Dating and Sexual Activity

% 47 percent of teens in grades nine through twelve have had sex. But the flip side of this statistic is often not reported. It means that about 53 percent of teens, or the majority, are not having sex. % Less than 10 percent of boys or girls have initiated sexual intercourse before age fourteen. % 66 percent of teens in grades nine through twelve said they were abstinent—and had been for at least three months prior to their answer. % Just over half of the fifteen- to nineteen-year-old group has had oral sex. % By age seventeen, a majority of teens said that intercourse is an accepted part of dating relationships. However ... that is likely a ref lection of their pessimism about relationships, given that more than 80 percent of girls and more than 65 percent of guys who have had sex say they regret it. That's the vast majority, by the way. Time to rethink the sex issue, huh? Don't worry; we will later. % It is also acceptable to be unattached—and a large majority of teens say that they don't place much significance on dating relationships. % Teens age thirteen to fourteen (82 percent) are almost as likely as older teens (92 percent) to have had a boyfriend or girlfriend. % Half of preteens and teens said their parents had never discussed how to say no to sex. % About 50 percent of teens said their parents had never told them about sexually transmitted diseases. % Teens who say they can talk to their parents about sex are actually less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

City Bound

Something that is super interesting about the Millennial Generation is that you are increasingly less fearful of cities. So much so that you want to move back to them. For the first time since around the late 1940s, people are starting to flock back to the cities to live—even those people who are from small towns and midsized communities. Your generation is more inclined to see the metro-urban appeal of life after high school and college.

A lot of this has to do with the ability to travel more easily. Just getting from point A to point B is much easier compared to fifty years ago. But the traveling between cultures also comes much more easily to the Milley Generation. You are much more accepting of the different races and ethnic mixes that are more likely to be found in cities.

I, personally, would like to have both an apartment in Manhattan and a farm somewhere out in nowhere. I like both sorts of places for different reasons. I don't have either of those places; I would just like to. What about you?

Help Me Help You

All of these snapshots describe you in some way. Some describe who you are, and some of them describe who you are not. They are just snapshots of some of the habits of teens around you. Maybe your opinions about dating and love are completely different from anyone else's. But they might be something like one of these ...

Or, you could paint an entirely unique picture of a person in your generation. And people do every day. Here's one I'm sure is unique. She is so unique that she speaks a language I can't even understand. I have read this letter more than twenty times, and every time it's like setting off a bomb in my brain!

Yeah ... soooooo good luck with that. Although I do think she managed to mix in more than half the topics from this book into one gigantic paragraph.

Like I said, we have some similarities, but we are all different.

Chapter Two

Dating, Factoids, and Quark-Gluon Plasma

Do you know how many states of matter there are? Solid, liquid, and ...? Gas, right? Well, not exactly. You should also include plasma, superfluid, non-Newtonian fluids, supersolids, neutronium, quark-gluon plasma, fermionic condensate, Bose-Einstein condensate, and strange matter, along with others that are even more boring sounding.

Take non-Newtonian fluids, for example. They are liquids that turn solid when stress is applied. The military is designing jackets made of this fluid. Think about what that means. The jacket has this non- Newtonian liquid in it, but if someone shoots you, the impact of the bullet on the liquid would make it solid and keep the holes out of your body. This practically laughs in the face of physics.

Or imagine this: a pool is filled with this liquid, so that it looks like a giant tub of white paint. If you stepped slowly into it, you would sink and end up covered with this slimy, wet goo. But if you were to run onto it, or jump onto it and start jogging around, you wouldn't sink. With the added friction and weight, the fluid becomes harder, almost like a glossy, thick Play-Doh, and you can walk right across it, without ever getting any on you. That pool already exists, by the way. You can even look it up on YouTube. Weird, but fascinating.

It's Complicated

Sometimes there are things that are more complex than we have been led to believe. Like the states of matter. And like dating. For example, how would you answer this letter?

This is a good question. How would you answer it? And does your answer work for everyone? Is your answer based on your experience, or just your opinion? I also like Betsy's question because it brings to light a lot more questions, like ...

* What does "going out for eight months" look like? * How can you tell "friend" feelings from "romantic" feelings? * How do people with different views of God work out their relationship? * How do you break up with someone and not turn him or her off to what you say you believe about God? * Why do some people get crushes on more than one person at once? Is that right, wrong, healthy, or what?

Let's pump the brakes on all the questions for a minute and start with an even more basic question, like, "Where does dating even come from?"

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Truth about Dating, Love & Just Being Friends by CHAD EASTHAM Copyright © 2011 by Chad Eastham. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Anonymous

Posted September 22, 2011

Teens need to read this

Although this book is written by a Christian author, I loved how the scatterings of the biblical things in it weren't over powering for anyone of a different faith or even someone with no faith. This book is filled with some great advice, easy to understand scenarios and personal stories. All in all it was useful and extremely witty I was laughing through the whole thing. I'd recommennd it to anyone who just wants to understand things or someone who just wants things put in a better perspective.
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PKCK

Posted August 23, 2011

My daughter loved it!!

So far I have been very pleased with this book. Chad Eastham's manner is very humourous and teen-friendly, but he also covers important material thoroughly and spiritually wisely with clear guidance given in a way that doesn't turn off teens. This is what my 14 year old daughter has to say after reading The Truth about Dating and Just Being Friends...

"Chad Eastham is a talented writer who has combined literally everything about dating into this 245 page book. He has the dangers of dating and of "going too far", but he also has the humour and the romantic-ness of dating and love combined. Being a teen myself, I really enjoyed this book as it challenged me to seek God first and to take a second look at what I want in a boyfriend, the boundaries I set, what age is acceptable and I bet all other teens have the same questions as I do and I can totally say that this book had answers for all my questions (and that's a lot of answers for one book! LOL). This is an engaging book that not only teenagers would enjoy but also young adults and maybe even married couples. That's all I have to say for now folks, but I hope that I have helped you consider reading this book. Good luck and to Chad - Keep up the great writing"
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mustlovetoread

Posted August 4, 2011

more from this reviewer

Questions about dating? Read this book!

The Truth About Dating
By: Chad Eastham

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson publishers in exchange for a book review. The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends.and how NOT to be MISERABLE as a TEENAGER because life is SHORT, and seriously, things don't MAGICALLY get BETTER after high school and lots of other IMPORTANT stuff, but we'll get to that later. by Chad Eastham was a fun book to read. This book is geared toward teenagers and how they should regard dating, friendships, and relationships, but I really think this book is for everyone. Chad Eastman does an excellent job explaining how these things work together to help you find the right person for you.

Eastman uses an engaging style to capture his audience's attention. He uses letters that have been sent to him to set up his ideas. His section on the History of Dating was very interesting. Who knew the word honeymoon came from the women being kidnapped, kept in a cave throughout a full phase of the moon while being fed a brew that was made from honey! Eastman gives us 5 Things You Should Know About Dating. These are very true and everyone should know these. 1) Dating won't lead you to marriage. 2) Dating should be fun. 3) Dating is an evaluation tool. 4) Dating is not a replacement for living. 5) Dating, or not dating, is your decision. Dating is something you are supposed to do to see if you like the person, if you are compatible, to find out what qualities you like or don't like, and to help you learn about yourself and others.

The section Just Friends!?! was an eye-opening chapter for me. Eastman really breaks down what a friendship is and why they are good for you. He states, "We actually need people who are "just friends" as much, and even more, than we need romantic relationships." We need to figure out who we are as a person, be who we are meant to be, before we can be in a successful relationship. If you don't know who you are, you are more likely to be who the other person thinks you are.

I recommend this book for anyone who is curious about how you fit into the scheme of things and wants to read an insightful book. I learned a lot about myself, like if you are a people pleaser, you tend to change depending on who you are around. You should be a strong enough person to be who you are at all times, and if people don't like it, know that is ok. You can also gage whether someone really likes you, or just likes what they are getting out of the relationship, by using some of the nonverbal behaviors Eastman describes, like eye contact and body language. Happy reading!
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Majanka

Posted June 12, 2011

Recommended, but it might not be for everyone

I have to say that The Truth (I'm not going to write the entire title everytime because, face it, it's just too long and I'm lazy) is a very hilarious, fun and entertaining read. In just under 250 pages, Chad Eastham talks about subjects like the Twilight-phenomenon and why all young teenage girls (and sometimes even boys!) seem to be infatuated with vampires, werewolves and the likes, while in all honesty, dead guys and enormous dogs don't seem all that appealing when looked at from another perspetive. He talks about social media and how it ruins our dating skills, about what we should keep in mind while dating, why some people are just meant to be friends and to never get together and he even dedicates an entire chapter to why his book could be stupid.

The book is filled with charts, lists, notes from readers, jokes and fun facts. It's a very entertaining and fun read, very casual, and I enjoyed the fact that he didn't scare away from certain topics, like dating the wrong people and what that could do to you. On the other hand, I have to say that he mentions Christianity a lot, and the view of religion on certain things, and he quotes from the Bible too. While I personally don't have a problem with that, I don't think this was the smartest move. Nowadays teenagers, especially here in Europe (I don't really know about the States), aren't that much into religion anymore. Most of them still believe in God and Jesus, but they don't let religious principles dedicate their lifestyle, and mentioning the Bible occassionally in a book of this kind, a self-help book aimed at teenagers, might seem patronizing or old-fashioned to them. Now, Chad mentions a lot of time that the religious views he includes are only aimed at those who believe in them, but he is actually turning away a large part of the teenage public by including them in the first place.

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted June 5, 2011

a book about dating. and other things. but mostly dating. and its kind of about what the heck goes on in a boy's brain.

Yes, that title is ridiculously long. But so is the book title: The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends..and how not to be miserable as a teenager because life is short, and seriously things dont magically get better after highschool and lots of other important stuff, but we'll get to that later... And I'm not joking. Look it up. It was written by Chad Eastham. And for all of you out there that just thought, "A dating book? Written by a guy?", I thought the same thing. Most guys seem clueless about dating. Especially in middle and high school when all girls want to have a boyfriend. Chad is an upbeat, funny person. I really enjoyed reading this book. It explains almost any questions you've had for the past 3 years, that you've googled but never really found answers. You should definitely read it before dating.
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Katie_Bennett

Posted April 10, 2011

loved this one!

This book: full of truth about dating and whatnot from a guy who's dated. I really don't have much to say about this book, except it made me laugh, and laugh loudly. It was well researched, well written, and really enjoyable to read.

It was easy and light, not something that required a lot of thought to process. I finished it very quickly, and considered picking it up to start again.

What stood out most is the way it's written. It sounds like a conversation between a youth pastor and a student, between an older brother and a younger sister.

I sat there reading it laughing to myself; Chad Eastham has the funny thing down.

Loved this book!
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onlyonetoni

Posted April 4, 2011

Finally! An APPROPRIATE book about teen love and dating!

emember those weird, awkward teenage years when I "liked" a guy and I wasn't sure if he liked me back. Now that I have a teenage daughter (I can't believe I am saying that, but it's true!), I have been searching and searching for an APPROPRIATE book for her so that she will not feel those weird awkward feelings like I did. Or, at the very least, perhaps she can understand those feelings and know that she is not alone.

Well, I found this book and I absolutely LOVE it! She did too! I read it first, cover to cover. It is totally age appropriate and puts a humorous spin on the whole idea of "liking" a guy. Since my daughter is a very comical gal, she really enjoyed the book as well. Not only does it give sound advice, but it also put things into perspective as far as the Christian point of view and how we as Christians should react in such situations.
I definitely give this book a BIG thumbs up to anyone who has a teenage daughter (mine is 13, so it is definitely "safe").
It is a great read for mothers to read with their daughters as well. It helps alleviate those awkard "talks" :)
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Anonymous

Posted March 30, 2011

Good, Solid Advice for Teens

The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends is a pretty good book for teenagers who are just beginning to hit the dating scene, or who have been dating for a little while now.

This book is a bit Christianized, so be aware of that before you pick it up. Other than that, I think it can appeal to a large variety of teens- male or female, 14 or 18, novice or experienced. It has good, solid advice and helpful tips and questionnaires to fill out.

(The title is super fun- The full version is The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends... and How Not to Be Miserable as a Teenager Because Life is Short and Seriously, Things Don't Magically Get Better after High School, and Lots of Other Important Stuff, But We'll Get to That Later.)

This book covers a lot of topics, from how to ask someone out, how to tell if someone is interested in you, to more serious subjects, like being in an abusive relationship and how to get help. I really enjoyed this book and shared it with a few friends of mine who have been seeking some advice on dating and relationships, and they let me know that the book gave them a lot of insight and helped them see dating in a better light. Chad Eastham really did a good job with this one.
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Tgo

Posted March 1, 2011

THe truth

Product Description
Chad Eastham, with his typical wit and wisdom for teens, brings much sought after advice on girls' favorite topics including dating, love, friendship, and other important stuff.

Chad shines some much-needed light on these major issues for teens. Rather than let their feelings navigate them blindly through their tumultuous adolescence, Chad offers clarity, some surprising revelations, and answers to some of their biggest questions: How do I know who to date? When should I start dating? How should I start dating? Is this really love? And, Why do guys I like just want to be friends?

Packed with humor that adds to the sound advice, this book will help teens make better decisions, have healthier relationships, and be more prepared for their futures. Just a few things girls will learn include: Five things you need to know about love; Eight dumb dating things even smart people do; Ten reasons why teens are unhappy; and Ten things happy teens do.

Any teen can live a happier, healthier life: they just need to hear The Truth.

In this book you will learn:
* What should guys never do, what should girls never do, and do you know if someone likes you?
* If you are going to date, what kind of boundaries should you set up at the beginning to ensure a healthy relationship?
* How can you honor God through healthy relationships?
* What does being "just friends" really mean?
* What are the top 5 tips on finding true love?

All in all I think that this book should be on every teen girls book shelf. I don't know that the guys would take the time to read it as it does feel a little like it is geared towards girls but there is a lot of info just for the guys also (Why do girls go the the bathroom in groups or pairs?)

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255
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Doreen-renewing-strength

Posted February 16, 2011

Parents, Teens CHECK THIS OUT

As part of the Booksneeze progra, I get the pleasure of reading free books-then writing a blog and review. I requested this book to see how it could fit into my life as mom of an outstanding teen daughter: five children, one daughter..get the picture. This book is probably the most practical, well written book on the subject of dating and relationships for teens.

Chad Eastham takes a subject often ignored or rather deemed "old fashioned" and puts questions and answers out there on the subject of dating and decisions that need to be made in and out of "relationships". He uses real live statistics, biblical truth and humor to ask those hard questions that need answers that are not "Sunday School" answers for our 21st century teens. The book is equipped with questions and discussion starters for teens, facilitators in small groups and even, PARENTS with their teens.

I am challenged personally to get this book going with my daughter and her friends, and I encourage others to do the same.
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anotherjoy

Posted February 11, 2011

Because Being Dumb Is Not Okay

This latest book by Chad Eastham is an amusing yet practical guide for teenagers to focus on what's important in life -- which is usually not what they think it is. I enjoyed reading it because, even though the focus is on teenagers, a lot of the practical points made in the book still apply even after teenagers become adults. After all, the extended title is "... and how not to be miserable as a teenagers because life is short, and seriously, things don't magically get better after high school and lots of other important stuff, but we'll get to that later ..."

Chad goes through several different topics, including good points and bad points of dating, being a happy teenager vs. an unhappy one, dealing with feelings, and other stuff. He approaches everything with simple conversation, humorous stories and remarks, and activities to get everyone thinking. I liked the way he keeps things light, and yet doesn't skimp over the important things of which teens need to be aware. As a small group leader within my youth group, I think this book covers a lot of questions and emotions that my teens are definitely dealing with. I like that Chad is straightforward with some of the facts about teens and relationships, even the not-so-popular ones. He's not discouraging, but he still gets the point across. I like this book and would recommend it for any of the teens in my small who are willing to read it.
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Anonymous

Posted February 10, 2011

The Truth About Dating, Love and Just Being Friends by Chad Eastham

When I was given this book by my mom, I didn't know exactly what to expect from it other than it sounded rather sassy on the front cover. Being a person who doesn't read much, this will be my second book covering the "dating scene" and I am glad my mom considered giving it to me to review. I enjoyed it thoroughly. The book is written well with a good sense of humor that kept it fresh and entertaining. I was never bored reading it and have actually read the entire thing!

The book covers multiple subjects; people, love(in general not just the boyfriend and girlfriend kind), flirting, signs of good or bad relationships, stalkers, friends, you and even vampires(just read it.) I liked the discussions on people's individual strengths and weaknesses and how the author asks you to write down certain things about yourself. This way, it's sort of giving you an opportunity to evaluate yourself, your life and maybe a difficult social situation that you might be going through at the moment. All of it is very helpful.

I'm happy to have read this, and I feel somehow smarter than I did before I read it. I recommend this book to anyone whether they are dating, single, married, teen or adult, because all of us need to know how to love-- and love well.

~Cheers

Guest Reviewer: Fawn Carter
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BlogfulofBooks

Posted February 10, 2011

For Shallow Christians

The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends is Chad Eastham's latest attempt to advise teenagers on matters of the heart. From Christian book publisher Thomas Nelson, The Truth... covers a multitude of teenagers' worries and concerns about dating and love. Chad approaches these topics with his usual humor (he's also the author of The Truth About Guys and Guys Like Girls Who...) while throwing in a few Christian references.

Honestly, I was not impressed with The Truth.... I found it to be a book with good intentions but poor execution. Up front, Chad remarks that he sees no reason why anyone under sixteen needs to date. (I agree.) However, the whole tone of the book seems to be marketed to the under-sixteen crowd. The language used seems young and immature, and the overall content seems to be part of a here and now philosophy instead of a mindset headed towards the future -- which I feel misses a lot of what older teenagers (like myself) feel and face.

Besides that, I could barely handle Chad's back and forth speech as he zigged and zagged between common psychologist-speech and Christian thought. The overuse of terms such as "healthy" and "balanced," along with the continual references to teenagers' underdeveloped brains (we know already; stop making us feel stupid or lower because of it), made me feel as though I was being examined by a psychologist or brain surgeon. The Christian themes in the book are not bad; I agree with all of them. However, I could tell that Chad Eastham obviously wants Christian and non-Christian teens to read the book, so it seems that he tried to keep the Christian side of things at a minimum so as not to offend.

The Christian/secular-psychologist mixed message wasn't the only one. I couldn't believe it when I read several sentences throughout the book that said dating wasn't the smartest thing to do in high school, and that teens who don't date are actually happier. Uh, isn't this a book about dating? I wondered. This was the biggest bump in the road. Chad writes in the beginning of the book that dating is a natural part of the growing up experience and that it can help teenagers to grow in their understanding of all relationships, not just romantic ones. But then, every once in a while, Chad throws a stink bomb with sentences that lead readers to believe that dating isn't the best thing to do in high school. But this is a book for teenagers about dating!! Needless to say, the whole concept made my head hurt.

I did learn a few things in sections where he explained (as well as he could) the mental processes of guys and how girls should respond to them. That was at least helpful. But, overall, I was left saddened by a book that claims to be Christian while shoving secular philosophies down my throat. It is two-sided. My thoughts? Don't waste your time with this book.

(I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers via BookSneeze. All opinions of this book are my own.)
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Anonymous

Posted February 10, 2011

Just Okay

"The Truth About Dating, Love, And Just Being Friends" by Chad Eastham, was just okay. Honestly when I was reading this book I would ask myself a lot, "Why in the world am I reading this?" I had to force myself to read it. I liked the way he tries to connect with his fans but I honestly didn't like the fact that he put some of the notes his fans send him in the book with their names. I know I would not like my name to be in this kind of book. It's just all about advice. I guess it depends what kind of person reads the book. I like figuring things out on my own, and I personally felt dumb reading a book like this, but that is just my opinion. I give the cover five stars though, it's what caught my attention in the first place. Some parts of it were pretty good, Chad must have done much research because he got many things about teens right. He just repested himself to much.

Well, over all if you like receiving advice from a book then I recommend it , if your like me and like figuring things out on your own, then this is not the book for you.
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Arias_Myles

Posted February 9, 2011

Relevant and Interesting!

The Truth About Dating, Love, and Just Being Friends by Chad Eastham is, like his other books, helpful and thought-provoking. I like how he provides information that is relevant to teens, and holds your interest the entire time.

This book covers mistakes teens make when dating and how to avoid them, what love is and isn't, questions regarding when and why to date, what it means to be "just friends" and other related topics. Even if you aren't planning on dating in the near future, I think this book is still helpful because it helps you know what you should watch for when you do consider dating, and reminds you that you don't have to be dating someone to be happy.
At the end of the book, Chad tells readers that "there are many answers that can't be just simply given to you." He says you have to search for some answers, and reminds us to look to God for help.

I liked how you can see that what Chad says in this book is grounded in God's Word, and at the same time it doesn't seem like he is forcing Christianity on readers. It was a good read, and I think every teen should hear what he has to say.

Thanks to BookSneeze for the book!
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Heart2Heart

Posted February 5, 2011

more from this reviewer

What does it mean to date to a teenager?

Oh where was this book a few years ago, when my oldest daughter was struggling with the questions that are answered in this wonderful book for teens. It's called The Truth About Dating, Love and Just Being Friends.

This book is relevant in so many ways for teens that often have these questions wandering through their minds but rather than seek our advice, they will often ask a friend. However, the answer that they are provided may not be the advice we would want them to consider.

The first question that this book deals with is defining what dating means. When you ask anyone to define what a home is, the answers are all pretty similar, but when you ask them to define dating, it opens up such a wide range of responses. When you see things that way, it's understandable why our children are confused when we ask them to consider dating as an option over instantly becoming boyfriend/girlfriend, going together, or exclusivity to one another only.

This book addresses so many things that each gender struggles with especially the big one, how do you know if they like you or are interested in you. Both my husband and I reviewed the book, and found the answers to be honest in respect to both sexes. Boys respond in relationships and in dealing with girls much differently than girls do with boys.

Chad Eastman, the author of this book, does a great job in researching every probable question that teens are most likely to deal with in this phase of their growing up. The dread "just friends" topic is dealt with as well as most teens that have this as a reason for breaking up can't get past what that means to them.

I have passed this book along to my oldest for her opinion and she agrees that most of the topics are geared for teens interested in one another. Even though our preference is to wait and only date those they are interested in for marriage, this book provides a safe way for teens to address their concerns about dating, being in love, and just being friends.

I received this book, compliments of Thomas Nelson Publishers for my honest review and think it's a must have for parents and teens. This one rates a 5 out of 5 stars because it deals with these topics from God's perspective and in raising a great Christian son or daughter.
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Jenny_Rose

Posted February 3, 2011

I wish I had this book when I was a teen

The Truth About Dating, Love & Just Being Friends by Chad Eastham

Chad Eastham uses a lot of the questions he receives from teens as a springboard and answers them honestly from his opinion, experience, and documented evidence. The teenage years are about relationships and Eastham covers the popular questions of when to start dating, being friends, what is love, what is dating, how to know if someone is into you, and more.

This is an informative book, packed with humor and I wish this book had been around when I was a teenager. Eastham presents answers to typical questions in a normal, down-to-earth fashion that I think is quite palatable to teens. He presents Biblical principles without being preachy. My favorite part is when he addressed the issue of a lot of teens being miserable and suffering through high school. Eastham gave practical advice about what makes happy people happy and how to be positive. This book was an enjoyable read that I didn't want to put down. He answers questions I remember having, I just wish someone had delivered the answers the way he does. Not only will I be recommending this book to anyone with teens, works with teens, but also a few who just left their teenage years and it will become a permanent part of my library. I look forward to passing it along to my daughters when they enter their teens.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
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delightedtoshare

Posted February 2, 2011

Recommend for every teenager!

This book is one of the latest sent to me for review from Thomas Nelson. I chose this book from a queue primarily because I had opportunity to met the author, Chad Eastham a couple years ago when he spoke at Revolve Tour stop in Dallas, and because the content appeared to be something my students are always dealing with, DATING.

Let me begin by pointing out, and perhaps cautioning you that this book is written for a teenage reader. I wanted to read this book so that I could have it in my library ready to loan to a heartbroken or struggling student in our youth ministry, and thus would require a proof-read. I did find it hard to gain momentum in my reading. This is not a book that kept me super interested and blazing on to the next page, but I believe that is 100% due to the fact that I'm an old married guy and no longer dealing with high school romance in my own life. My students, however, are doing just that.

The information and advice in this book is spot on. In fact it echos my response to many students seeking guidance with these same issues. I found myself a bit critical early on in the book, wondering why Eastham, a Christian author and speaker did not include scripture or basically any other reference to God in his advice. I mean it's when we chose not to live our romantic lives according to God's guidelines that things go wrong, right? Well, let not your hearts be troubled. The author does include much scripture and references to his own relationship with God, but he holds his cards rather close at first. As the book progresses, Chad included more and more faith-based prospective, and I believe he starts small and then gains momentum so that he does not immediately turn away a non-christian teen, after gaining their trust shares his faith in a way that is both appropriate and I feel will prove effective.

While this was not a page turner for me, I'm certain it would be for a teenager, which is the target audience of this book. Having read it, I would quickly recommend it to any young person with questions about love, dating, or relationships. And as anyone who works with teenagers or has ever been one can attest, that should be around 100% of them.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
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Libbi_Heart

Posted January 19, 2011

Best book Ever: I would give 10 out of 10 stars if I could

This book is in my top 50 {saying a lot, considering the books I've read}
Check that, it is n my top 15. This book helps teenagers like me with a lot of that mushy love stuff. Mix that with Chad Eastham's quick wit and hilarious analogies, and you have a great book. This book conveys the main topics of what dating is, dumb dating mistakes that smart people make, tips for what to look for on a date, how it is really a good thing to be "just friends" How to be happy, how you can make your life miserable, and my favorite chapter, "The problem with falling in love with mythical creatures." It has some great information. What do guys want? What do girls want? Why are girls so emotional? Why would a vampire make a bad boyfriend? He answers all these questions among many others, and he does so with a comedic viewpoint along with that of an inspired Christian.

I really liked that Chad was a Christian, and this made his views very similar to mine. He also was not super pushy, and said that dating was not the best when you are in high school. My favorite chapter, "The problem with falling in love with mythical creatures" focused a lot on why people {girls especially} seem to fall in love with seemingly creepy figures. There were parts of the book I {literally} laughed out loud. My mom would look over from the computer and stare at me. I won't spoil it for you, but he gives the scenario of a vampire asking out a girl. Oh.my.lands. Funniest thing ever.

I highly encourage anyone looking for a good read to read this.
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Anonymous

Posted February 24, 2011

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The Truth about Dating, Love & Just Being Friends

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Teens need to read this

My daughter loved it!!

Questions about dating? Read this book!

Recommended, but it might not be for everyone

a book about dating. and other things. but mostly dating. and its kind of about what the heck goes on in a boy's brain.

loved this one!

Finally! An APPROPRIATE book about teen love and dating!

Good, Solid Advice for Teens

THe truth

Parents, Teens CHECK THIS OUT

Because Being Dumb Is Not Okay

The Truth About Dating, Love and Just Being Friends by Chad Eastham

For Shallow Christians

Just Okay

Relevant and Interesting!

What does it mean to date to a teenager?

I wish I had this book when I was a teen

Recommend for every teenager!

Best book Ever: I would give 10 out of 10 stars if I could