- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Ships from: Miami, FL
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Barnes & Noble.com: In many ways, manners should just be common sense. However, when I was reading your book I found myself remembering many instances when people have behaved thoughtlessly or in a way that makes others uncomfortable. Sometimes I think that the "casual" style of living has gotten out of control. What would you say is the biggest change in manners over the last 10 or 20 years?
Charlotte Ford: The biggest change in manners is how fast-paced our lifestyles have become in this technological era. But manners do not, and should not, take time -- it's a quick "please" and "thank you" or "I'm sorry." In addition, with all the new high-tech tools that we use every day, we tend not to deal with each other on a human level. Communication via email and voice mail often causes us to be abrupt and less thoughtful.
B&N.com: Although our first priority should be to look to our own behavior, when is it correct to let someone know that they may be offending others, if ever? For instance, you give guidelines on business casual dress, but what if a colleague, especially a younger one, wears skimpy outfits? I'm not talking about an office vamp but rather a person trying to be fashionable. Obviously she must not be aware of co-workers' discomfort.
CF: Honesty is the best policy, and the message should be delivered with as much tact and in as kind a manner as possible to avoid offending anyone. However, the message should be delivered from a person in a supervisory position -- it could be more hurtful coming from a co-worker.
B&N.com: What if the offender is a relation? At a birthday party a friend gave for her husband, his sister-in-law proceeded to change her baby on my friend's brand-new slipcover. My friend was infuriated but didn't say anything.
CF: Definitely speak up -- doesn't matter who it is -- and go and get something like a towel to put underneath the baby: It's not very hygienic otherwise.
B&N.com: In the book you recommend keeping in storage unwanted gifts. Are there occasions when exchanging the gift is acceptable? I'm thinking of a friend who received earrings as a bridesmaid present (the other bridesmaids received the same gift). Not only does she not have pierced ears, her ears are so sensitive she does not wear earrings at all. The earrings were from Tiffany's, and my friend would like to exchange them for something she could wear.
CF: I think she should definitely change them for something she would wear. If the bride feels hurt, that's her problem. But in general, I think that most people would not want someone to keep a gift they do not like or could not use.
B&N.com: Is there anything else you would like to add?
CF: I would define manners as basic consideration for others.
Posted April 1, 2003
I bought this book as a guide and was so disappointed. Most of it is common sense. Most topics (i.e., single parenting, gay parenting, divorced parenting) were not given enough space, and other topics (i.e., sexual harassment, single parenting) show that the author(s) need a reality check. The quizzes at the end of the chapters are silly.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.