Twits: Real Celebrities. Real Tweets. Real Funny.

Overview

"I prefer to have my affairs over Twitter because I usually can't last more than 140 characters." —Conan O'Brien

They're rich. They're famous. And they're tweeting. And you won't believe what they're saying—the funniest, the dumbest, and the most ridiculous celebrity tweets are all here, in one spot. See silly feuds (Demi Moore versus Kim Kardashian) and nonsense rants (Charlie Sheen) alongside genuinely funny quips (Steve Martin) and bizarre poetry (Yoko Ono).It all makes for an unprecedented look at The ...

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Overview

"I prefer to have my affairs over Twitter because I usually can't last more than 140 characters." —Conan O'Brien

They're rich. They're famous. And they're tweeting. And you won't believe what they're saying—the funniest, the dumbest, and the most ridiculous celebrity tweets are all here, in one spot. See silly feuds (Demi Moore versus Kim Kardashian) and nonsense rants (Charlie Sheen) alongside genuinely funny quips (Steve Martin) and bizarre poetry (Yoko Ono).It all makes for an unprecedented look at The Twits—those tweeting celebrities with something funny to say.

"If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel," I'd have 2 nickels. I don't say it much." —Stephen Colbert

"If u could spray yourself with a non typical scent right now, what would it be???" —Tyra Banks

"Mullets decreed illegal in Iran. At last, something we agree on." —Roger Ebert

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402264689
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks
  • Publication date: 4/1/2012
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 1,451,334
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 6.90 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Read an Excerpt

#Introduction

It seems like every day there's another celebrity or politician in trouble for something they said on Twitter.
Apparently, no matter how much fame or money you have, there's still something appealing to sharing your thoughts 140 characters at a time. For some, it's a way to stroke their substantial egos. For others, it seems to be a way to share their unlimited supply of comedic gold.
Good or bad, celebrities who tweet give us a peek into their lives like never before.
On the following pages, you'll find feuds galore—from
Demi Moore versus Kim Kardashian, to Lindsay
Lohan versus...well, just about everyone. You'll see that big heads like Kanye West and The Situation are obvious,
even in their tweets.
But let's not forget the ultimate kind of celebrity twit—the crazypants one! Lucky for us, celebrity tweets provide just about as much straight-up nonsense as we can possibly handle. (I'm looking at you, Charlie Sheen.)

Sometimes they're sharing bizarre parts of their lives,
like pop star Ke$ha live-tweeting the process of peeing her pants.

Beyond the stupid and ridiculous, there are genuinely funny celebrities, like Stephen Colbert and Roger Ebert,
who especially excel at cramming their personal brand of humor into 140 characters. We've left all the tweets as-is,
misspellings and all, unless otherwise noted. It all makes for an unprecedented look at the Twits—those tweeting celebrities with something to say.

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Table of Contents

#Contents

#Introduction

#LifeLessons

#Ke$haLiveTweetsPeeingHerPants

#WilliamShatner

#NameDropping

#MichaelIanBlack

#Ice-T

#CelebritiesAreObsessedWithFartsAndPoop

#BritneySpears

#DeepThoughtsWithLarryKing

#ADayInTheLife

#50CentAndOprahTheDog

#Ego

#CharlieSheen

#AndyDickWritesAPoem

#TyraBanks

#LindsayLohan

#RobDelaney

#Snooki&Pals

#Boozing

#SteveMartin

#AndrewWKJustWantsEveryoneToParty,OK?

#Groan

#SarahSilverman

#Drama

#JohnMayer

#StephenColbert

#Someone'sAngry!

#TomHanksHadSomeWeirdPredictionsFor2011

#WordsAreHard

#SpencerAndHeidi

#Let'sGetIt

#Cher

#PattonOswalt

#CelebPals

#SarahPalin

#JoanRivers

#TooMuchInformation

#KanyeWest

#CelebrityQuestionTime

#JimGaffigan

#Romance

#Don'tCallJimCarreyCrazy

#DannyDeVito

#Gross

#RogerEbert

#Huh?

#ScottBaio

#ConanO'Brien

#CourtneyLove

#Snooze

#GotJokes?

#AdrianneCurry

#JustWrong.

#BieberMania.

#DrugsAreBad.

#RealHousewivesOfClassCity

#LastWords

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