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The Essential Guide to Pleasure for All Women
Everything you need to understand women's orgasms—what works, what doesn't and why:
• How to ask for what you need and want
• Multiple orgasms, extended orgasms and energetic orgasms
• The "elusive" orgasm and why some women have difficulty climaxing
• How often we fake them and why
• How personal history shapes sexual experience
• Orgasm as an emotional release
• Masturbation
• The power of fantasy
• Penetration, the G-spot and ejaculation
• Defining the erotic
• The joy of sex toys
There are tons of books filled with advice about orgasms, but many women find their relentless cheerleading lacks an honest discussion of their real needs. Mikaya Heart changes all that. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is a forthright and comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Normalizing all women's experiences, Mikaya Heart provides the information, permission and support women need to enhance their own fulfillment.
Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance, 2009, etc.)guides women through orgasm with thoroughness and sincerity.
At the beginning, the author writes, "I occasionally use the word fuck in this book, usually meaning the act of penetration. Like some of the other words we use when we're talking about sex, it can have negative connotations and mean different things to different people." Indeed, the author's ability to thoughtfully approach sensitive issues while sharing just enough of her own personal experience will immediately set readers at ease. Without judgment, she tackles the taboo with respect for women and their individual perspectives on sexuality and fulfillment. Heart's openness is most apparent in the section "The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm," in which she discusses the relationship between the mental and physical self. When sharing stories about sexual abuse, she does so in a way that offers acceptance. She encourages "sex that requires healing. It requires that you have a sense of absolute autonomy over your body, and if you are going to develop that, you have to get in touch with what your body wants."
Heart's comprehensive exploration of the female sexual experience will be a poignant guide for women of all ages.
Foreword Violet Blue xiii
Introduction xvii
Chapter 1 Sexual Play 1
A New Vocabulary for Sex
The Best Medicine
Embracing Our Complexity and Diversity
Chapter 2 What Works, What Doesn't, and Why 8
An Anatomy Review
An Oral Review
Sidebar: A Different Kind of Blow Job
Penetration
How to Ask
Masturbation
Vibrators
Variety of Pleasures
One Is Not Always Enough
Emotional Erogenous Zones
Tuning In
Chapter 3 The Physical Experience of Orgasm 31
The Myth of the Definitive Orgasm
Beyond Vaginal and Clitoral
Combination Orgasms
Surface Versus Depth
Pulsing and Contractions
Pregnancy and Orgasm
A Vocabulary for Orgasm
Multiple Orgasms
Chapter 4 The Energetic Experience of Orgasm 50
The Nonphysical Components of Orgasm
Chemistry: A Psychic Connection
Emotional Orgasms
The Intellectual Component: Focusing the Mind
Aftershocks
Simultaneous and Empathic Orgasms
Energy Movement within the Body
Alignment
Visuals
The Power of Fantasy
Sound
Extended Orgasm
Chapter 5 The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm 78
The Feminine
Intuition and Feelings
Separation, Oneness, and Passion
Tantra
Kundalini
The Breath
Meditation
Love, Sex, and Sanity
Chapter 6 The Elusive Orgasm 97
Variations in Desire
Hysterectomies, Medications, and Aging
Disappearing Orgasms
Recognizing an Orgasm
Anor-gasmic Women
Cultural Conditioning
Learning to Come
Great Expectations
The Need to Please
Faking Orgasm
Do Men Know When We're Faking It?
Chapter 7 Early Sexual Experiences 121
A Child's View of Sex
Crowing Up Without Information
Embracing Our Passion
Negative Messages
Why Some of Us Love Our Sexual Selves and Some of Us Don't
When Sex Is Sex and When It's Not
Sexual Abuse of Children
Recovery
Chapter 8 Relationships 140
Bodies
Take Your Time
Partners
Withholding Feelings
A Great Love Doesn't Always Guarantee Great Sex
Communication
The Power of No
The Power of Yes
Getting Turned On
Dealing with Difficult Feelings
Sidebar: How to Recognize a Feeling When It Hits You in the Face
Getting Down to Business
Take a Risk, But Don't Take It Seriously
Asserting Ourselves
Claiming Our Passion
It Hurts So Good
Fears Versus Passion
Chapter 9 Penetration and the G-Spot 169
Lubrication
The PC muscle
Penetration Is Not Essential
But Some of Us Really Love It!
Virginity: The Arduous Process of Losing It
Enjoying Penetration
The Astounding Vagina
Taking It Slowly
The G-Spot
Location, Location, Location
Toys
To Use a Dildo…or Not Use a Dildo
Ode to the Dildo
Other Orifices
Chapter 10 Ejaculation, Fisting, and Anal Sex 189
The G-Spot and Ejaculation
What Is It and Where Does It Come From?
Who? When? How Much?
The Relationship of Orgasm to Ejaculation
The Power of Ejaculation
Vaginal Fisting
The How-Tos of Vaginal Fisting
Vaginal Fisting and Orgasms
Anal Sex
Chapter 11 The Purpose of Orgasm 208
From Pain to Pleasure, and Beyond…
Responsible Sex, Responsible Living
Working with Energy
Empowerment
Appendix A Safer Sex 217
Appendix B Resources 222
Appendix C Questionnaire 237
About the Author 245
Index 246
loritatarsmith
Posted January 25, 2012
This is one for every living woman. Every adult female I care about will be receiving a copy of this for either their birthday or Christmas, and I mean everybody from friends to sisters to daughters. It should be required reading for any sexually active female, even if that sexual activity is not shared with others, and so much the better if it is! 'Love it!
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Overview
The Essential Guide to Pleasure for All Women
Everything you need to understand women's orgasms—what works, what doesn't and why:
• How to ask for what you need and want
• Multiple orgasms, extended orgasms and energetic orgasms
• The "elusive" orgasm and why some women have difficulty climaxing
• How often we fake them and why
• How personal history shapes sexual experience
• Orgasm as an emotional release
• Masturbation
• The power of fantasy...