The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime

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Overview


Owning our desires should be neither embarrassing nor uncomfortable. Nor should they be subject to anyone else's moral judgment of what is right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Combining communication and information is the key. By shrugging off the taboos against talking about our preferences and experiences when we're being sexual, we will take the first and most important steps toward ensuring our own fulfillment. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and ...
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The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime

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Overview


Owning our desires should be neither embarrassing nor uncomfortable. Nor should they be subject to anyone else's moral judgment of what is right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Combining communication and information is the key. By shrugging off the taboos against talking about our preferences and experiences when we're being sexual, we will take the first and most important steps toward ensuring our own fulfillment. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and thoroughly comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Topics include: The physical types of orgasm, such as electrical, flying, pounding, deep, waves, and blips; orgasm as an emotional release; the "elusive orgasm" and why some women have difficulty having one; how often we fake them and why; masturbation; multiple orgasms; the male-female dichotomy; penetration and the G-spot; defining the erotic; and the joy of sex toys.
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Here’s a book every woman should have on her bookshelf. Or nightstand."
—Entertainment Realm

"This guide shows women how to ask for what they need and embrace their complexity, with discussion of multiple orgasms, how personal history shapes sexual experience and the power of fantasy."
—AVN

"This book has a lot to offer the woman who wants to understand and explore deeper into her erotic experience."
—The Dinah Project

"I think this book is a great place to start for women who are looking to improve their sex life, whether they already have orgasms or not."
—Buzz on Vibes

"I enjoyed this book wholeheartedly, and I think it will help a lot of women. In this book you will find new ideas about orgasm and why you may not be so different in your ways at all."
—Kissin Blue Karen

"The author, Mikaya Heart, definitely tried to cover a plethora of information and did a fabulous job of presenting things with an attitude of open acceptance. So many women don’t discuss many of the personal and intimate details of our sexual selves. This book helped me to recognize that I wasn’t alone in some of the things I have personally experienced. It also helped me understand why some women don’t appreciate sex as much as others. One of the most important things that I am taking away from this book is that we must express our desires and needs. If we do not voice our needs and ask for what want in a loving but direct way we are preventing ourselves from enjoying one of the most pleasurable things our bodies, minds and spirit can experience."
—Romancing the Book

"This book as a whole is an engaging mixture of practical advice and spiritual (in a broad sense) discussion."
—Kissed By Venus

"The book... offer[s] freedom to self-define what a healthy sexuality means for each of us, as individuals, without necessarily referencing a "norm." Is it worth buying? Absolutely!"
—Fresh Fiction

"Chapters cover anatomy and general techniques; the physical, “energetic,” and spiritual experience of orgasm; variations and problems; youthful experiences; relationship contexts; and concerns relating to penetration, the G-spot, female ejaculation, fisting, and anal sex. Several good anatomy drawings, numerous referrals to appropriate other books, a safer-sex appendix, and a comprehensive resource list round out the work. VERDICT Designed for women misled by notions of “one right way to orgasm,” Heart’s guide should provide something useful for nearly all self-helper women at any stage of sexual growth and of any sexual orientation. And while more illustrations would have been nice, the book’s relatively modest appearance could be a plus for some challenge-shy librarians. Recommended."
—Library Journal Martha Cornog, Philadelphia

"By diving so deeply into the types of issues that plague many women, Heart is able to show readers that they’re not alone if they have trouble getting pleasure, and for those that don’t, the author brings them to another level. By gaining an understanding of their emotional lives, personal histories, and belief systems, women can better know what works, what doesn’t, and why. Heart is an exceptional guide, and this comprehensive exploration of female sexuality is likely to become a well-used map to discovering new mountaintops in a familiar land."
–Foreword Magazine

"Mikaya Heart's Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women, will help women to release old taboos and fears so they can embrace sexual confidence and enjoy a fuller sex life. A must-read for any woman who wants to expand her vocabulary of sex."
—Betty A. Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One

"Mikaya Heart provides a fresh and illuminating look at that most elusive and tantalizing of
targets, the female orgasm. There are nearly as many varieties of orgasm
as there are women, and this book will open your eyes to possibilities
you never imagined."
—Janet W. Hardy, co-author of The Ethical Slut: A
Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventure

Library Journal
Not a focused how-to, this overview provides extensive information about varieties of and perspectives on female orgasm with the goal of normalizing women's experiences and offering options for enhancement. Since the first edition, titled When the Earth Moves (1998), life coach and author Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance) has reduced the autobiographical information and expanded and updated the experiential component through in-depth interviews with nearly 30 people. Chapters cover anatomy and general techniques; the physical, "energetic," and spiritual experience of orgasm; variations and problems; youthful experiences; relationship contexts; and concerns relating to penetration, the G-spot, female ejaculation, fisting, and anal sex. Several good anatomy drawings, numerous referrals to appropriate other books, a safer-sex appendix, and a comprehensive resource list round out the work. VERDICT Designed for women misled by notions of "one right way to orgasm," Heart's guide should provide something useful for nearly all self-helper women at any stage of sexual growth and of any sexual orientation. And while more illustrations would have been nice, the book's relatively modest appearance could be a plus for some challenge-shy librarians. Recommended.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Kirkus Reviews

Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance, 2009, etc.)guides women through orgasm with thoroughness and sincerity.

At the beginning, the author writes, "I occasionally use the word fuck in this book, usually meaning the act of penetration. Like some of the other words we use when we're talking about sex, it can have negative connotations and mean different things to different people." Indeed, the author's ability to thoughtfully approach sensitive issues while sharing just enough of her own personal experience will immediately set readers at ease. Without judgment, she tackles the taboo with respect for women and their individual perspectives on sexuality and fulfillment. Heart's openness is most apparent in the section "The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm," in which she discusses the relationship between the mental and physical self. When sharing stories about sexual abuse, she does so in a way that offers acceptance. She encourages "sex that requires healing. It requires that you have a sense of absolute autonomy over your body, and if you are going to develop that, you have to get in touch with what your body wants."

Heart's comprehensive exploration of the female sexual experience will be a poignant guide for women of all ages.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573447119
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 8/2/2011
  • Pages: 345
  • Sales rank: 267,815
  • Product dimensions: 8.74 (w) x 6.10 (h) x 0.72 (d)

Table of Contents

Foreword Violet Blue xiii

Introduction xvii

Chapter 1 Sexual Play 1

A New Vocabulary for Sex

The Best Medicine

Embracing Our Complexity and Diversity

Chapter 2 What Works, What Doesn't, and Why 8

An Anatomy Review

An Oral Review

Sidebar: A Different Kind of Blow Job

Penetration

How to Ask

Masturbation

Vibrators

Variety of Pleasures

One Is Not Always Enough

Emotional Erogenous Zones

Tuning In

Chapter 3 The Physical Experience of Orgasm 31

The Myth of the Definitive Orgasm

Beyond Vaginal and Clitoral

Combination Orgasms

Surface Versus Depth

Pulsing and Contractions

Pregnancy and Orgasm

A Vocabulary for Orgasm

Multiple Orgasms

Chapter 4 The Energetic Experience of Orgasm 50

The Nonphysical Components of Orgasm

Chemistry: A Psychic Connection

Emotional Orgasms

The Intellectual Component: Focusing the Mind

Aftershocks

Simultaneous and Empathic Orgasms

Energy Movement within the Body

Alignment

Visuals

The Power of Fantasy

Sound

Extended Orgasm

Chapter 5 The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm 78

The Feminine

Intuition and Feelings

Separation, Oneness, and Passion

Tantra

Kundalini

The Breath

Meditation

Love, Sex, and Sanity

Chapter 6 The Elusive Orgasm 97

Variations in Desire

Hysterectomies, Medications, and Aging

Disappearing Orgasms

Recognizing an Orgasm

Anor-gasmic Women

Cultural Conditioning

Learning to Come

Great Expectations

The Need to Please

Faking Orgasm

Do Men Know When We're Faking It?

Chapter 7 Early Sexual Experiences 121

A Child's View of Sex

Crowing Up Without Information

Embracing Our Passion

Negative Messages

Why Some of Us Love Our Sexual Selves and Some of Us Don't

When Sex Is Sex and When It's Not

Sexual Abuse of Children

Recovery

Chapter 8 Relationships 140

Bodies

Take Your Time

Partners

Withholding Feelings

A Great Love Doesn't Always Guarantee Great Sex

Communication

The Power of No

The Power of Yes

Getting Turned On

Dealing with Difficult Feelings

Sidebar: How to Recognize a Feeling When It Hits You in the Face

Getting Down to Business

Take a Risk, But Don't Take It Seriously

Asserting Ourselves

Claiming Our Passion

It Hurts So Good

Fears Versus Passion

Chapter 9 Penetration and the G-Spot 169

Lubrication

The PC muscle

Penetration Is Not Essential

But Some of Us Really Love It!

Virginity: The Arduous Process of Losing It

Enjoying Penetration

The Astounding Vagina

Taking It Slowly

The G-Spot

Location, Location, Location

Toys

To Use a Dildo…or Not Use a Dildo

Ode to the Dildo

Other Orifices

Chapter 10 Ejaculation, Fisting, and Anal Sex 189

The G-Spot and Ejaculation

What Is It and Where Does It Come From?

Who? When? How Much?

The Relationship of Orgasm to Ejaculation

The Power of Ejaculation

Vaginal Fisting

The How-Tos of Vaginal Fisting

Vaginal Fisting and Orgasms

Anal Sex

Chapter 11 The Purpose of Orgasm 208

From Pain to Pleasure, and Beyond…

Responsible Sex, Responsible Living

Working with Energy

Empowerment

Appendix A Safer Sex 217

Appendix B Resources 222

Appendix C Questionnaire 237

About the Author 245

Index 246

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 25, 2012

    An absolute must-have

    This is one for every living woman. Every adult female I care about will be receiving a copy of this for either their birthday or Christmas, and I mean everybody from friends to sisters to daughters. It should be required reading for any sexually active female, even if that sexual activity is not shared with others, and so much the better if it is! 'Love it!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 9, 2012

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    Posted December 16, 2012

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