The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime

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The Essential Guide to Pleasure for All Women

Everything you need to understand women's orgasms—what works, what doesn't and why:

• How to ask for what you need and want
• Multiple orgasms, extended orgasms and energetic orgasms
• The "elusive" orgasm and why some women have difficulty climaxing
• How often we fake them and why
• How personal history shapes sexual experience
• Orgasm as an emotional release
• Masturbation
• The power of fantasy...

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The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime

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The Essential Guide to Pleasure for All Women

Everything you need to understand women's orgasms—what works, what doesn't and why:

• How to ask for what you need and want
• Multiple orgasms, extended orgasms and energetic orgasms
• The "elusive" orgasm and why some women have difficulty climaxing
• How often we fake them and why
• How personal history shapes sexual experience
• Orgasm as an emotional release
• Masturbation
• The power of fantasy
• Penetration, the G-spot and ejaculation
• Defining the erotic
• The joy of sex toys

There are tons of books filled with advice about orgasms, but many women find their relentless cheerleading lacks an honest discussion of their real needs. Mikaya Heart changes all that. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is a forthright and comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Normalizing all women's experiences, Mikaya Heart provides the information, permission and support women need to enhance their own fulfillment.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Not a focused how-to, this overview provides extensive information about varieties of and perspectives on female orgasm with the goal of normalizing women's experiences and offering options for enhancement. Since the first edition, titled When the Earth Moves (1998), life coach and author Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance) has reduced the autobiographical information and expanded and updated the experiential component through in-depth interviews with nearly 30 people. Chapters cover anatomy and general techniques; the physical, "energetic," and spiritual experience of orgasm; variations and problems; youthful experiences; relationship contexts; and concerns relating to penetration, the G-spot, female ejaculation, fisting, and anal sex. Several good anatomy drawings, numerous referrals to appropriate other books, a safer-sex appendix, and a comprehensive resource list round out the work. VERDICT Designed for women misled by notions of "one right way to orgasm," Heart's guide should provide something useful for nearly all self-helper women at any stage of sexual growth and of any sexual orientation. And while more illustrations would have been nice, the book's relatively modest appearance could be a plus for some challenge-shy librarians. Recommended.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Kirkus Reviews

Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance, 2009, etc.)guides women through orgasm with thoroughness and sincerity.

At the beginning, the author writes, "I occasionally use the word fuck in this book, usually meaning the act of penetration. Like some of the other words we use when we're talking about sex, it can have negative connotations and mean different things to different people." Indeed, the author's ability to thoughtfully approach sensitive issues while sharing just enough of her own personal experience will immediately set readers at ease. Without judgment, she tackles the taboo with respect for women and their individual perspectives on sexuality and fulfillment. Heart's openness is most apparent in the section "The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm," in which she discusses the relationship between the mental and physical self. When sharing stories about sexual abuse, she does so in a way that offers acceptance. She encourages "sex that requires healing. It requires that you have a sense of absolute autonomy over your body, and if you are going to develop that, you have to get in touch with what your body wants."

Heart's comprehensive exploration of the female sexual experience will be a poignant guide for women of all ages.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573447119
  • Publisher: Cleis Press
  • Publication date: 8/2/2011
  • Pages: 345
  • Sales rank: 740,703
  • Product dimensions: 8.74 (w) x 6.10 (h) x 0.72 (d)

Table of Contents

Foreword Violet Blue xiii

Introduction xvii

Chapter 1 Sexual Play 1

A New Vocabulary for Sex

The Best Medicine

Embracing Our Complexity and Diversity

Chapter 2 What Works, What Doesn't, and Why 8

An Anatomy Review

An Oral Review

Sidebar: A Different Kind of Blow Job


How to Ask



Variety of Pleasures

One Is Not Always Enough

Emotional Erogenous Zones

Tuning In

Chapter 3 The Physical Experience of Orgasm 31

The Myth of the Definitive Orgasm

Beyond Vaginal and Clitoral

Combination Orgasms

Surface Versus Depth

Pulsing and Contractions

Pregnancy and Orgasm

A Vocabulary for Orgasm

Multiple Orgasms

Chapter 4 The Energetic Experience of Orgasm 50

The Nonphysical Components of Orgasm

Chemistry: A Psychic Connection

Emotional Orgasms

The Intellectual Component: Focusing the Mind


Simultaneous and Empathic Orgasms

Energy Movement within the Body



The Power of Fantasy


Extended Orgasm

Chapter 5 The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm 78

The Feminine

Intuition and Feelings

Separation, Oneness, and Passion



The Breath


Love, Sex, and Sanity

Chapter 6 The Elusive Orgasm 97

Variations in Desire

Hysterectomies, Medications, and Aging

Disappearing Orgasms

Recognizing an Orgasm

Anor-gasmic Women

Cultural Conditioning

Learning to Come

Great Expectations

The Need to Please

Faking Orgasm

Do Men Know When We're Faking It?

Chapter 7 Early Sexual Experiences 121

A Child's View of Sex

Crowing Up Without Information

Embracing Our Passion

Negative Messages

Why Some of Us Love Our Sexual Selves and Some of Us Don't

When Sex Is Sex and When It's Not

Sexual Abuse of Children


Chapter 8 Relationships 140


Take Your Time


Withholding Feelings

A Great Love Doesn't Always Guarantee Great Sex


The Power of No

The Power of Yes

Getting Turned On

Dealing with Difficult Feelings

Sidebar: How to Recognize a Feeling When It Hits You in the Face

Getting Down to Business

Take a Risk, But Don't Take It Seriously

Asserting Ourselves

Claiming Our Passion

It Hurts So Good

Fears Versus Passion

Chapter 9 Penetration and the G-Spot 169


The PC muscle

Penetration Is Not Essential

But Some of Us Really Love It!

Virginity: The Arduous Process of Losing It

Enjoying Penetration

The Astounding Vagina

Taking It Slowly

The G-Spot

Location, Location, Location


To Use a Dildo…or Not Use a Dildo

Ode to the Dildo

Other Orifices

Chapter 10 Ejaculation, Fisting, and Anal Sex 189

The G-Spot and Ejaculation

What Is It and Where Does It Come From?

Who? When? How Much?

The Relationship of Orgasm to Ejaculation

The Power of Ejaculation

Vaginal Fisting

The How-Tos of Vaginal Fisting

Vaginal Fisting and Orgasms

Anal Sex

Chapter 11 The Purpose of Orgasm 208

From Pain to Pleasure, and Beyond…

Responsible Sex, Responsible Living

Working with Energy


Appendix A Safer Sex 217

Appendix B Resources 222

Appendix C Questionnaire 237

About the Author 245

Index 246

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 25, 2012

    An absolute must-have

    This is one for every living woman. Every adult female I care about will be receiving a copy of this for either their birthday or Christmas, and I mean everybody from friends to sisters to daughters. It should be required reading for any sexually active female, even if that sexual activity is not shared with others, and so much the better if it is! 'Love it!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted February 9, 2012

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    Posted December 16, 2012

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