The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime [NOOK Book]


Owning our desires should be neither embarrassing nor uncomfortable. Nor should they be subject to anyone else's moral judgment of what is right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Combining communication and information is the key. By shrugging off the taboos against talking about our preferences and experiences when we're being sexual, we will take the first and most important steps toward ensuring our own fulfillment. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and ...
See more details below
The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women: How to Become Orgasmic for a Lifetime

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$10.49 price
(Save 41%)$17.95 List Price


Owning our desires should be neither embarrassing nor uncomfortable. Nor should they be subject to anyone else's moral judgment of what is right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Combining communication and information is the key. By shrugging off the taboos against talking about our preferences and experiences when we're being sexual, we will take the first and most important steps toward ensuring our own fulfillment. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and thoroughly comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Topics include: The physical types of orgasm, such as electrical, flying, pounding, deep, waves, and blips; orgasm as an emotional release; the "elusive orgasm" and why some women have difficulty having one; how often we fake them and why; masturbation; multiple orgasms; the male-female dichotomy; penetration and the G-spot; defining the erotic; and the joy of sex toys.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Not a focused how-to, this overview provides extensive information about varieties of and perspectives on female orgasm with the goal of normalizing women's experiences and offering options for enhancement. Since the first edition, titled When the Earth Moves (1998), life coach and author Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance) has reduced the autobiographical information and expanded and updated the experiential component through in-depth interviews with nearly 30 people. Chapters cover anatomy and general techniques; the physical, "energetic," and spiritual experience of orgasm; variations and problems; youthful experiences; relationship contexts; and concerns relating to penetration, the G-spot, female ejaculation, fisting, and anal sex. Several good anatomy drawings, numerous referrals to appropriate other books, a safer-sex appendix, and a comprehensive resource list round out the work. VERDICT Designed for women misled by notions of "one right way to orgasm," Heart's guide should provide something useful for nearly all self-helper women at any stage of sexual growth and of any sexual orientation. And while more illustrations would have been nice, the book's relatively modest appearance could be a plus for some challenge-shy librarians. Recommended.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Kirkus Reviews

Heart (My Sweet Wild Dance, 2009, etc.)guides women through orgasm with thoroughness and sincerity.

At the beginning, the author writes, "I occasionally use the word fuck in this book, usually meaning the act of penetration. Like some of the other words we use when we're talking about sex, it can have negative connotations and mean different things to different people." Indeed, the author's ability to thoughtfully approach sensitive issues while sharing just enough of her own personal experience will immediately set readers at ease. Without judgment, she tackles the taboo with respect for women and their individual perspectives on sexuality and fulfillment. Heart's openness is most apparent in the section "The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm," in which she discusses the relationship between the mental and physical self. When sharing stories about sexual abuse, she does so in a way that offers acceptance. She encourages "sex that requires healing. It requires that you have a sense of absolute autonomy over your body, and if you are going to develop that, you have to get in touch with what your body wants."

Heart's comprehensive exploration of the female sexual experience will be a poignant guide for women of all ages.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573447348
  • Publisher: Cleis Press [Start]
  • Publication date: 8/15/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 345
  • Sales rank: 264,321
  • File size: 533 KB

Meet the Author

Mikaya Heart ( grew up in a rural part of Scotland. She developed a deep love of nature from an early age, which sustained her through a difficult childhood. At York University, long before the environmental movement had started, she studied ecology. Unable to accept how disrespectfully our planet is being treated, she dropped out, finding herself most at home in the radical hippie culture of the seventies. In 1978, she came out as a lesbian, and in the same year, trained as an agricultural mechanic. Disillusioned with the homophobia and sexism in the UK, she immigrated to Northern California, where she ran an organic market garden, raised pigs, and built her own house out of recycled lumber in the backwoods.

She is a keen writer and has always worked hard at her personal healing, often using shamanic methods. Since she was sexually abused as a child, this led to a book on women's sexuality, When the Earth Moves: Women and Orgasm, published in 1998. Sex, at its best, is a profoundly shamanic activity, so this fitted well with the belief systems she was developing. Several of her short stories, and one other book, The Straight Woman's Guide to Lesbianism, have also been published. She has two books coming out this year, one on the art of being human, and the other on her travels in Indonesia and Thailand.

A horse riding accident at the age of 48 led to profound changes. She sold all her property, in order to be absolutely free, and took off traveling on her own, visiting Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, Hawaii, Mexico, North America, the Caribbean and Brazil. She finds it essential to spend time alone in nature, feeling the being-ness of a place, and consequently her traveling is usually about camping in the wilderness. One of her most memorable experiences was an eight day solo kayak trip in Prince William Sound, Alaska.

Her favorite pastimes are dancing, singing, horse-riding, and kitesurfing, all of which she experiences as deeply spiritual. She now identifies most strongly as a marveling mystic, since she has a very powerful awareness of herself as a being of spirit, and is constantly amazed at the extraordinary beauty of this world. Kitesurfing is her greatest passion. She has become the woman who follows the wind, intent on experiencing the delight of dancing with water and air whenever she can. She built a house from all recycled materials and lives happily in Northern California.
Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Foreword Violet Blue xiii

Introduction xvii

Chapter 1 Sexual Play 1

A New Vocabulary for Sex

The Best Medicine

Embracing Our Complexity and Diversity

Chapter 2 What Works, What Doesn't, and Why 8

An Anatomy Review

An Oral Review

Sidebar: A Different Kind of Blow Job


How to Ask



Variety of Pleasures

One Is Not Always Enough

Emotional Erogenous Zones

Tuning In

Chapter 3 The Physical Experience of Orgasm 31

The Myth of the Definitive Orgasm

Beyond Vaginal and Clitoral

Combination Orgasms

Surface Versus Depth

Pulsing and Contractions

Pregnancy and Orgasm

A Vocabulary for Orgasm

Multiple Orgasms

Chapter 4 The Energetic Experience of Orgasm 50

The Nonphysical Components of Orgasm

Chemistry: A Psychic Connection

Emotional Orgasms

The Intellectual Component: Focusing the Mind


Simultaneous and Empathic Orgasms

Energy Movement within the Body



The Power of Fantasy


Extended Orgasm

Chapter 5 The Spiritual Experience of Orgasm 78

The Feminine

Intuition and Feelings

Separation, Oneness, and Passion



The Breath


Love, Sex, and Sanity

Chapter 6 The Elusive Orgasm 97

Variations in Desire

Hysterectomies, Medications, and Aging

Disappearing Orgasms

Recognizing an Orgasm

Anor-gasmic Women

Cultural Conditioning

Learning to Come

Great Expectations

The Need to Please

Faking Orgasm

Do Men Know When We're Faking It?

Chapter 7 Early Sexual Experiences 121

A Child's View of Sex

Crowing Up Without Information

Embracing Our Passion

Negative Messages

Why Some of Us Love Our Sexual Selves and Some of Us Don't

When Sex Is Sex and When It's Not

Sexual Abuse of Children


Chapter 8 Relationships 140


Take Your Time


Withholding Feelings

A Great Love Doesn't Always Guarantee Great Sex


The Power of No

The Power of Yes

Getting Turned On

Dealing with Difficult Feelings

Sidebar: How to Recognize a Feeling When It Hits You in the Face

Getting Down to Business

Take a Risk, But Don't Take It Seriously

Asserting Ourselves

Claiming Our Passion

It Hurts So Good

Fears Versus Passion

Chapter 9 Penetration and the G-Spot 169


The PC muscle

Penetration Is Not Essential

But Some of Us Really Love It!

Virginity: The Arduous Process of Losing It

Enjoying Penetration

The Astounding Vagina

Taking It Slowly

The G-Spot

Location, Location, Location


To Use a Dildo…or Not Use a Dildo

Ode to the Dildo

Other Orifices

Chapter 10 Ejaculation, Fisting, and Anal Sex 189

The G-Spot and Ejaculation

What Is It and Where Does It Come From?

Who? When? How Much?

The Relationship of Orgasm to Ejaculation

The Power of Ejaculation

Vaginal Fisting

The How-Tos of Vaginal Fisting

Vaginal Fisting and Orgasms

Anal Sex

Chapter 11 The Purpose of Orgasm 208

From Pain to Pleasure, and Beyond…

Responsible Sex, Responsible Living

Working with Energy


Appendix A Safer Sex 217

Appendix B Resources 222

Appendix C Questionnaire 237

About the Author 245

Index 246

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 3 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 25, 2012

    An absolute must-have

    This is one for every living woman. Every adult female I care about will be receiving a copy of this for either their birthday or Christmas, and I mean everybody from friends to sisters to daughters. It should be required reading for any sexually active female, even if that sexual activity is not shared with others, and so much the better if it is! 'Love it!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 9, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 16, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)