Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex

Overview

SHIRT: SPORTS JERSEY.         
JEANS: EMBELLISHED.
HAIR: OVERLY GELLED.          
STATUS: UNDATEABLE.

 
Did your date show up wearing socks with sandals? Are tighty-whities a deal-breaker for you? Do fanny packs make you want to run for the door? Now, for the very first ...

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Overview

SHIRT: SPORTS JERSEY.         
JEANS: EMBELLISHED.
HAIR: OVERLY GELLED.          
STATUS: UNDATEABLE.

 
Did your date show up wearing socks with sandals? Are tighty-whities a deal-breaker for you? Do fanny packs make you want to run for the door? Now, for the very first time, we’re revealing the secret list of things that so many perfectly eligible guys manage to wear, say, or do to make themselves completely undateable. With an essential rating system that ranges from minor red-flag offenses all the way to the irreversible kiss of death, this hilarious handbook exposes the many common mistakes that can turn an otherwise acceptable man from a “maybe” into a “no way.” From pleated shorts and soul patches to ordering girly drinks and owning more than one cat, the evidence is painfully funny to behold. No more double denim, corporate swag, or exclaiming “Booya!” No more jogging in place at stoplights, and definitely no more “going dutch” on the first date. This book is for every woman who’s ever wondered where to draw the line, and every guy who’s ever asked, “What did I do wrong?”

Here’s what you did.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780345520678
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 3/16/2010
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 543,345
  • Product dimensions: 8.04 (w) x 5.24 (h) x 0.43 (d)

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

A Few Notes on How to Read This Book... 9

What Not to Wear 10

What Not to Say 94

What Not to Do 126

What Not to Be

Weekend White Guy 30

“G” 38

Anal Andy 58

Benchwarmer 74

Mr. Softy 84

Meathead 98

Bitter Boy 106

Enlightened Gay 140

Stoney 156

Mega Douche 168

Why Your Guy Friends Find You Undateable 176

Conclusion 182

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Interviews & Essays

A Novel Idea

Ellen Rakieten was a producer (and ultimately Executive Producer) for the Oprah Winfrey Show for 23 years. More importantly, for this story, she worked with over 300 women. Every day. And every Monday morning they were in her office (she being "the married one"), telling her their dating horror stories. After hundreds of truly hideous and hilarious tales, she started wondering "Is there a book in here somewhere?"

The answer is yes. UNDATEABLE: 311 Things Men Do That Guarantee They Wont Be Dating or Having Sex by Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle is their very funny new book which lists, in excruciating written and visual detail, the things men do that turn women OFF. For any guy that's wondered "What did I do", this book will undoubtedly answer that question.

Rakieten met Anne Coyle, a former advertising copywriter, when they became next-door neighbors in 1997. The two became fast friends, working on numerous projects over the last 10 years. When Coyle's marriage dissolved and she began dating again, the idea of UNDATEABLE resurfaced.

"I had just gone on a date with a guy I actually liked", said Coyle. "He was great except for this nasty button of hair on his chin, also known as a 'soul patch'. Ultimately, it just turned me off and we parted ways. I was telling Ellen how there are just certain things that a girl 'can't get past'. For me personally, it was random things like acid washed jeans, Member's Only jackets and orthopedic-like walking shoes, to name a few." Ellen went one further, and professed her disdain for "guys who play air guitar, don't use valet parking and wear "dad jeans". Ellen then brought up her idea for a book using her collection of horror stories. They wrote the book together in 3 months. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 17, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    just for kicks

    I found this book to be pretty funny, a great bathroom reader. Nice photos, too. It would be fun to read a female version.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Funny book.

    This is a funny book about why you may or may not be undateable. I didn't take it too seriously and found myself laughing out loud more than once. A fun read.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 1, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Hysterical and totally worth every penny!

    Thank you "Undateable" for transforming my guy from undateable to dateable! This is a great book to share with your girlfriends who need to spruce up their man, AND an even better one for all the men you know who violate any of the 311 offenses listed in this book!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 19, 2010

    Makes a great gift!

    This book is hilarious. I saw this on Good Morning America and had to get it for my brother who can't seem to figure out why he can't get a date. Uhhh...maybe it's the "jorts" and backwards baseball caps!

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  • Posted March 18, 2010

    Funny and insightful

    I cracked up reading this book! Most of the men I know (myself included) have been guilty of a few of these gaffs. Some continue to be. The topic was approached with compassion as well as humor. Kind of a funny intervention that a lot of people really need! I know some men will be offended and defensive ("But I love my...(insert undateable characteristic)!"), but it's like the old joke: Every group of friends has one person they're embarassed to be seen with. If you can't figure out which one it is, it's YOU! Can't wait for the next book about Undateable women.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 17, 2010

    FINALLY!

    This book is laugh out loud funny!! A great book for both men and women... Come on, who doesn't know a guy who has rocked the "Mandana", "Murse" or "Mandal"?? BUY UNDATEABLE!

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    Posted May 16, 2010

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    Posted March 17, 2010

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    Posted May 30, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 11, 2010

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