Undead and Unemployed (Betsy Taylor Series #2)

Undead and Unemployed (Betsy Taylor Series #2)

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by MaryJanice Davidson
     
 

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MaryJanice Davidson is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling author. Her Undead books are extremely popular paranormal romances. Betsy needs a job and amazingly lands the perfect one–selling designer shoes at Macy's. But the other vamps, including sexy Sinclair, don't want their queen selling shoes. And the vampire hunters are becoming a real pain&ndash

Overview

MaryJanice Davidson is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling author. Her Undead books are extremely popular paranormal romances. Betsy needs a job and amazingly lands the perfect one–selling designer shoes at Macy's. But the other vamps, including sexy Sinclair, don't want their queen selling shoes. And the vampire hunters are becoming a real pain–murdering innocent vampires. It seems that everyone wants something from Betsy. "Davidson's witty dialogue, fast pacing, smart plotting, laugh-out-loud humor, and sexy relationships make this a joy to read."–Booklist

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Entertaining, wicked and delightful."—Romance Reviews Today

"Chick lit meets vampire action in this creative, sophisticated sexy and wonderfully witty book."—Catherine Spangler

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780425197486
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
08/03/2004
Series:
Undead/Queen Betsy Series, #2
Edition description:
Reissue
Pages:
304
Sales rank:
303,506
Product dimensions:
4.20(w) x 6.70(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

Read an Excerpt

Undead and Unemployed


By Mary Janice Davidson

Berkley

Copyright © 2004 Berkley
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-425-19748-4


Chapter One

When I'd been dead for about three months, I decided it was past time to get a job.

I couldn't go back to my old one, of course. For one thing, I'd been laid off the day I died, and for another, they all still thought I was six feet under. Plus, a job during daylight hours just wasn't going to work anymore.

I wasn't starving or homeless, at least. My best friend, Jessica, owned my house and wouldn't let me pay rent, and she had her team of super accountants pay the other bills despite my strenuous objections. I sure didn't need to grocery shop for much except teabags and milk and stuff. Plus, my car was paid off. So my monthly expenses were actually pretty low. Even so, I couldn't live off Jessica's charity forever.

So here I was, on the steps of the Minnesota Re-Employment Center. They had evening hours every Thursday-thank goodness!

I walked through the doors, shivering as I was greeted by a blast of air-conditioning. Another thing about being dead that nobody warned me about was that I was cold pretty much all the time. Minneapolis was having a severe heat wave, and I was the only one not hating it.

"Hi," I said to the receptionist. She was wearing a stiff gray suit and needed her roots done. I couldn't see her shoes, which was probably just as well. "I came to the unemployment center to-"

"I'm sorry, miss, that's RE-Employment. Unemployment centers are an anachronism. We're a responsive twenty-first-century re-employment one-stop center."

"Right. Um, anyway, I'm here to see one of the counselors."

For my audacity, I spent the next twenty minutes filling out paperwork. Finally, my name was called, and I was sitting in front of a counselor.

He was a pleasant-looking older fellow with dark hair, a gray-flecked beard, and chocolate brown eyes, and I was relieved to see the wedding ring as well as the photo of his pretty wife and de rigeur adorable kids. I fervently hoped he had a happy marriage, so he wouldn't make a fool of himself once my undead charisma smacked him in the face.

"Hi, I'm Dan Mitchell." We shook hands, and I saw his eyebrows go up in surprise when he clasped my clammy palm. "Elizabeth Taylor, right?"

"That's me."

"Are your eyes all right?"

I was wearing my sunglasses for two reasons. One, the fluorescent light hurt like a bitch. Two, men didn't fall under my spell if they couldn't see my eyes. The last thing I needed was a slobbering state employee humping my leg.

"I was at the eye doctor's earlier," I lied. "He put those drop things in."

"Yeah, been there. Elizabeth Taylor-just like the movie star!" he enthused, obviously having no idea people had been drawing that conclusion since the day I'd been born.

"Betsy."

"Betsy, then." He was flipping through the reams of paperwork I'd handed him. "Everything looks right ..."

"I hope so. I'm here for Unemployment-"

"We're the RE-Employment Center," Mitchell said absently, still flipping.

"Right, right. Anyway, I need a new job, and while I'm looking, I'd like Unemployment Insurance. In fact, I have a quest-"

Mitchell looked vaguely alarmed. "Um ... I need to stop you right there. We can't do that here."

I blinked. Not that he could tell behind the Foster Grants I was wearing. "Come again?"

"We're a re-employment office. That's what we do."

"Sure, okay, I get it, but don't you ...?"

"If you want unemployment benefits, you need to call the hotline. Or use the Internet. I'm sorry, but we can't answer your question here."

"Let me get this straight. This is the place I go to when I'm unemployed ..."

"Yes ..."

"And you have unemployment benefit applications here-"

"Absolutely!"

"But you don't have any staff here who can help me get unemployment benefits."

"Yes, that's correct."

"Oh, okay." This was weird, but I could be cooperative. Probably. I leaned back in the uncomfortable plastic chair. "Okay, so, can I use your phone to call one of these hotlines?"

Mitchell spread his hands apologetically. "Ah, jeez, you know, we used to let people do that, but some folks abused the phones, and so-"

"So you're telling me I can't call an Unemployment Hotline using a telephone in the Unemployment Office?"

"Well, technically, remember, we're not an Unemployment Office anymore"-I suddenly wondered if a vampire could get drunk. I decided to find out as soon as I got out of this bureaucratic hellhole-"and that's why we can't let you do that." He shrugged. "Sorry."

I whipped off my sunglasses and leaned forward, spearing him with my sinister undead gaze. It was a rotten thing to do, but I was desperate. "I need. To use. Your phone."

"No!" He hunched over and clutched the phone protectively to his chest. "It's against policy!"

Amazing. I was sure my vampire mojo would leave him putty in my hands, but apparently his bureaucratic training was stronger than ancient evil.

"You'll just have to go home and contact them on your own dime," he snapped.

I stomped back to the waiting area. Outrageous! I wasn't just any undead tart, I was the queen of the vampires!

"Don't forget to fill out a customer satisfaction survey on your way out!" Mitchell yelled after me.

God, kill me now. Again, I mean.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Undead and Unemployed by Mary Janice Davidson Copyright © 2004 by Berkley. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
"Entertaining, wicked and delightful."—Romance Reviews Today

"Chick lit meets vampire action in this creative, sophisticated sexy and wonderfully witty book."—Catherine Spangler

Meet the Author

MaryJanice Davidson has written in a variety of different genres, including contemporary romance, paranormal romance, erotica, and non-fiction. She lives near St. Paul, Minnesota.

Brief Biography

Hometown:
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Date of Birth:
1969
Place of Birth:
Minot, North Dakota
Website:
http://www.maryjanicedavidson.net

Customer Reviews

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Undead and Unemployed (Betsy Taylor Series #2) 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 277 reviews.
harstan More than 1 year ago
In St. Paul, the vampire minions consider Betsy Taylor as their Queen, but she wants to be left alone so that she can indulge in her shoe fetish. Rather than join Sinclair, the royal stud, who converted her three months ago, Betsy seeks employment. However, she quickly learns the first lesson from Remedial Vampirism 099 that using the glamour spell on a government bureaucrat never works as a civil servant must be officious to protect their butt. Next Betsy goes to Macy¿s where she scores a job selling shoes. She appreciates bureaucratic ineptitude as she figures SSA will not realize that the employer of a dead person is making payments............................. Bloodsucking visitors (not customers, but other vampires) keep arriving at the shoe department. Sinclair, who to Betsy¿s chagrin heats her blood though she detests how he failed to warn her that he is more dangerous than cigarettes, demands she join him. Her subjects demand she find out who is killing the Twin Cities vampires and stop that culprit. She feels it is unfair because she is the newest of the brood and all she wants is a new pair of shoes besides a bite or two with Sinclair, who she needs to help her with the inquiries............................... This sequel to the wacky UNDEAD AND UNWED, UNDEAD AND UNEMPLOYED is an amusing vampiric chick lit amateur sleuth tale worth sinking your teeth into as MaryJanice Davidson satirizes the three sub-genres. Betsy is a unique protagonist obsessed with expensive shoes while Sinclair is her perfect counterfoil. The rest of the cast enhances the comedic romp that takes a bite out of the acceptable norm of excesses that make up several fictional sub-classifications..................... Harriet Klausner
nascarfan More than 1 year ago
I read this after I fell in love with the 1st book. Finally a vampire series thats funny and not so depressing. Betsy makes me laugh and like me she loves her shoes..
trixhilda More than 1 year ago
This series is a fun read but be aware that in book 9 the author betrays everything she laid out in the first 8 books. These have great characters and fun interaction but as I stated before she completely pulls the rug our from all the character knowledge and history between characters everything you learn about everyone and all the history is comletely alterd in hte last 2 pages I love a good plot twist but this one takes everything you have learned and throws it out the window as result the first 8 books become a complete and total waste of money and time spent reading everything that is laid out is a complete and total lie
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Great author. Can't wait to listen to all of the books. Terrific narrator too.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Another fun and funny read from this series. I LOVE IT!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
2/14/13 A funny, good read.
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Fun story with great one liners. Story seems to borrow from laurell k hamilton, charline harris, and patricia briggs. Still a great story with its own quirks.
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Enjoyed all ive read! Goood fun!!l
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love it!
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