Unmaking Mary: Shattering the Myth of Perfect Motherhood

by Chine McDonald

Overview

“Astute, smart, witty and brave. A radical, deeply thoughtful and essential intervention”
Lucy Jones, author of Matrescence

“A deeply valuable reflection on motherhood”
Rowan Williams

For two thousand years, the Virgin Mary has been depicted throughout art, literature and culture as symbolising the perfect mother: chaste, beautiful, meek, mild and white. These supposed virtues and symbols have penetrated not just Christianity but wider popular culture; and contributed to harmful views about motherhood and what it is to be a woman.

In this part-memoir, part social and theological commentary, Chine McDonald deconstructs the myth of perfect motherhood and shines a light on the dark side of parenting. From birth trauma to post-natal depression, from infertility to the mental load, the motherhood penalty and pressures on women to be and have it all - especially in the church - this book attempts to liberate motherhood from the chains in which it has been placed, reconstructing a more authentic, grace-filled way forward for the most important job in the world.

Unmaking Mary will include a foreword written by Beth Allison Barr, author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781399814638
Publisher:	John Murray Press
Publication date:	07/08/2025
Pages:	256
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Chine McDonald read Theology at Cambridge University before training as a newspaper journalist. She is director of religion and society think tank Theos, and is a regular contributor to BBC Religion & Ethics programs, including Thought for the Day, the Daily Service, and Prayer for the Day.

Editorial Reviews

This is a brave and beautiful book. Writing with a generous ecumenism, Chine McDonald offers a rich revisioning of Mary's motherhood, interweaving the theological tradition with a deeply personal and honest account of her own experiences of maternal life in all its complexity, struggle, vulnerability and joy. As a feminist theologian, mother and grandmother, I felt inspired and liberated by reading this.—Tina Beattie - theologian, writer and broadcaster

I was utterly riveted by Unmaking Mary. Beautifully written, richly layered and meticulously researched, this is a game-changing, much-needed corrective to the restrictive ideal of motherhood presented in the white, patriarchal myth of Mary. Chine McDonald deconstructs the perfect, passive motherhood Mary has long been saddled with, and clears the way for a maternal figure of profound humanity, power and beauty, as well as unspeakable pain. Astute, smart, witty and brave. A radical, deeply thoughtful and essential intervention.—Lucy Jones - author of Matrescence

With an honesty as painful as it is rare, Unmaking Mary is a book that will remain with you long after its close. A rigorous examination of motherhood and the ways our icons form us; and a site of truth-telling for those who have, for too long, mirrored postures never meant for us. My only fear is that the foolish among us will mistake it as a book only of interest to women. It is vital reading for all who were once born.—Cole Arthur Riley - author of This Here Flesh

There are many names for Mary in the Christianities of the world: Mother of the Word Incarnate, Mother of Sorrows, Mother of God. In her signature searing, incisive analysis, Chine McDonald explores other names: Mother of Rage, Mother of Childloss, Mother of Exhaustion, Mother of Grief, Mother of Joy, Mother of Solidarity, Mother of Racial Justice. This is a book for people of all genders to explore how ideas of religion and maternity influence our understanding of power, validity, truth and belief. At times a journalistic analysis, at times theological, at times narrative, at times historical, Chine McDonald's Unmaking Mary is - all the time - a powerful demonstration of theology speaking to contemporary society. Did I say it was part journalism, theology, narrative and history's Yes. It is also all fire; burning with conviction, clarity, scholarship and declaration.—Pádraig Ó Tuama - poet, theologian and conflict mediator

"Sometimes you don't have to make the cake." If actual flesh and blood mothers need liberating from impossible projections of perfection, so does the most famous mother of all. Dealing honestly and movingly with the complex emotions of motherhood, Chine McDonald offers us not only a deeply valuable reflection on the topic, but also a great deal of wisdom on how to use (and how not to use) myth and metaphor in understanding our humanity. A challenging, hope-filled book.—Rowan Williams - theologian, poet and 104th Archbishop of Canterbury

As a cultural historian and a mother, I found this book to be rich, provocative and powerful. It was also deeply comforting and freeing at a personal level. I wish I had read it a long time ago. McDonald's combination of intellectual argumentation and personal observation is superb and disarming. By the end of the book, the roadblocks of unrealistic maternal ideals long associated with Mary are cleared away to make way for a deep and rich encounter with the actual Mary of the Bible.—Sarah C. Williams - historian and author of When Courage Calls

This is a wonderful book. Sharp, funny and theologically rich on both Mary and motherhood - constructive theology at its best.—Janet Soskice - Research Professor of Catholic Theology, Duke Divinity School and Professor Emeritu

I feel profoundly seen by Chine's words. Mothering is the most difficult work I've ever done, and she not only affirms me in this messy and mostly unseen holy task, but assures me that God is right there in the mess with me. Using historical, theological and contemporary examples to unmake the Mary we think we know, and through the vulnerable sharing of her own experiences, Mary is beautifully remade in the image of us all. This book not only made me feel better about being a mother, it made me feel more fully human. I encourage every imperfect mother to read her words and be comforted and inspired.—Jayne Manfredi - Anglican deacon, writer and BBC Radio Four contributor

In Unmaking Mary, Chine McDonald draws on an impressive range of sources - from theology to social media posts, and from literature to her own personal experiences - to deeply challenge oppressive archetypes and to recover more liberatory models of motherhood. Sweeping in its intellectual range, light in its touch, and discerning in its distinctions, this is a wise and illuminating book.—Jennifer Banks - Senior Executive Editor at Yale University Press and author of Natality: Towards a

I have the immense privilege of teaching, researching, writing, and contemplating the life of Mary, so it was not the truths of her life that initially grabbed me in this book. What captured me was McDonald's honesty. I read as one who had entered a new stage of motherhood, past the fog of the early years and the relative steadiness of the primary school era, to the complicated terrain of adolescence. In that new season, I had not resisted the voice in my head that charged, "failure!" frequently enough. I had begun to believe that damning voice was speaking truth. Unmaking Mary reacquainted me with a familiar friend. It is not that Mary, the Nazareth girl who became the mother of God, had changed, but I had, and needed to meet her anew, not only as the successful gospel proclaimer but also as a mother who on long days and sleepless nights probably also fought the demons of self-doubt. I learned a great deal from this book, but it touched me at many more levels than the intellect. I connected with this book and know that countless readers will do the same.—Amy Peeler - author of Women and the Gender of God and Professor of New Testament and the Kenneth T

With Unmaking Mary Chine McDonald approaches a sometimes-contentious subject with endless grace. This book is affirming and enlightening; written with enough depth that will keep theological students engaged but with the strength of heart that will reach any mother caught in the tangle of shame, obligation and exhaustion. My soul was stirred with each turn of the page.—Jendella Benson - writer, editor and creative

This book is a marvel! In Unmaking Mary, Chine McDonald masterfully serves as both death doula and midwife. On the one hand, McDonald generously and incisively guides us to kill and release all of the ways we have been held hostage by toxic perfectionistic motherhood. On the other hand, McDonald graciously and wisely guides us to birth something new: a form of mothering that truly liberates, heals, and nurtures both ourselves and those we love. Remarkably, by being both death doula and midwife, McDonald shows us that we can truly reclaim and transform everything we think we know about Mary and mothering. Indeed, a part of my mother-related trauma was healed simply by reading this book. And I know that Unmaking Mary is going to save a lot of kids from unnecessary trauma. Read it, savour it, embody it - and be free!—Christena Cleveland - author of God Is a Black Woman

From the Publisher