Until He Comes: A Good Girl's Quest to Get Some Heaven on Earth

Overview

A hilarious, irreverent, and touching account of one seriously Christian girl’s struggle to please any available savior. . . .

K. Dawn Goodwin’s holy crusade to be the Lord’s sexiest spokesperson began at the tender—but far from innocent—age of seven. And while she always thought Jesus was kinda hot, even He could not quiet the avalanche of prepubescent lust and the burning wish for a man to find her, like Bathsheba, comely enough to spy on.

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Until He Comes: A Good Girl's Quest to Get Some Heaven on Earth

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Overview

A hilarious, irreverent, and touching account of one seriously Christian girl’s struggle to please any available savior. . . .

K. Dawn Goodwin’s holy crusade to be the Lord’s sexiest spokesperson began at the tender—but far from innocent—age of seven. And while she always thought Jesus was kinda hot, even He could not quiet the avalanche of prepubescent lust and the burning wish for a man to find her, like Bathsheba, comely enough to spy on.

Crucified by soulless pretty girls and cruel jocks whose mission it was to make her life hell on earth, adolescent Dawn, painfully obsessed with her own ugliness, found slivers of sweet relief in dry-humping the scrawniest guy on the wrestling team and scribbling bodice rippers starring her favorite teacher. But, Praise Jesus, at least her virginity was intact.

Until college, where, thanks to a seriously sculpted Jew, Dawn’s chastity crumbled like the Tower of Babylon. Her sex marathons kept her shouting, “Hallelujah!” but with her body image in apocalyptic disarray, her future husband unable to faith-heal her as promised, and the Bible threatening an extra-crispy afterlife, Dawn would have to face down her demons. Which was okay, because they were kinda hot too. . . .

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781451627121
  • Publisher: Gallery Books
  • Publication date: 12/27/2011
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 288
  • Product dimensions: 5.20 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Who She Is: Dawn Goodwin is the daughter of recovered fundamentalist missionaries and a graduate of Emory University in Atlanta, where she majored in English and Creative Writing, despite her fear-n-loathing of Famous Literature.

Where Is She now
: For the last fourteen years Goodwin has been living in rural western Georgia, meth capital of the Southeast. She now enjoys blowing stuff up, taking pictures of billboards, and shopping at the Dollar General. She is a single mom of three kids because of course. "When you’re this far below the Bible belt," Goodwin explains, "there’s really not much else to do but breed. And burn trash."

Publishing History
: Between lighting explosives, feeding her naked toddlers Diet Coke in their baby bottles, and letting them beat the hell out of an old rotary phone with some PVC pipe in the neighbor’s ditch, she has published numerous freelance creative pieces in local and national papers, pimped out her essays for grant money, made insurance coding sound sexy, and had her book awarded Finalist in the Georgia Writer’s Association 2013 Author of the Year competition–all that, while wearing nothing but a bathrobe and a bad bleach job, praise Jesus. "And when you’re working that hard Lord," she says, "the carpet don’t have time to be matchin no dang drapes."

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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 22, 2012

    False Advertising This story totally misrepresented what the cov

    False Advertising This story totally misrepresented what the cover
    summary advertised & suggested. Found this book in the Christian
    section of the bookstore. I thought I was going to read an uplifting
    story about overcoming religious pressures when it came to the topic of
    sex, but instead found a vulgar anti-Christian rant piece with no
    resolution. I can handle talk about sex and anger, but not out right
    hate and bigotry. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, most
    certainly not to teenage girls who might be struggling with a real
    problem concerning sexual pressures, especially those stemming from a
    religious setting. This book doesn't help, only compounds problems. I'm
    disappointment. It seems to be written in a selfish manner just to get
    a rise out of people, while carelessly dancing around a serious issue,
    and with no regard for consequences. The writer is greatly talented,
    but what a shame to see that talent wasted on such a despicable puff
    piece. What I don't understand is the effort to deceive readers? Why
    make this book appear what it clearly is not?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 25, 2012

    Irreverent, flippant, unique, and for me a welcome change of pace

    I love comedy, but I tend to read more serious stuff. Once in a while I'll venture outside that for books like "Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City" or "I'm Dying Up Here." This was recommended and from the description I thought that the humor would be right up my alley, irreverent and flippant; pulling no punches. I was right. In essence the book is about a girl's struggle and reckoning between trying to please Jesus and God, being a good Christian, and being a horny girl trying to make sense of it all, including the guilt and the eventual redemption and reconciliation. She loves Jesus as much as she loves her men, and therein lies the problem. Along the way she must deal with sin and the associated guilt, and her attempts at finding (self) justification and/or understanding of the ensuing dichotomy. Its a constant inner struggle and it's literally laugh out loud funny the whole way. It starts with her selling tickets to her own strip show as a precocious 7 year old (meanwhile she is reading and memorizing bible verses at Christian school) and writing stories about Unicorns having sex, even though she wasn't really sure what sex was. It continues through awkward school years,through her discovery of Don Johnson on Miami Vice reruns,up to her college years making pilgrimages to see evangelists with her converted Jewish boyfriend with whom she is "living in sin" (and a lot of it) at the same time. It ends with an epiphany. Something most of us can relate to. However the last sentence leads you to believe that the epiphany may not be exactly what she/we thinks it is (don't jump ahead and read the last sentence, it'll ruin the impact). The writing style is great and easy flowing, as if she were there telling you the stories herself, and she can turn the most serious of subject matters and experiences into something funny with just a couple of words. Very refreshing, especially for myself considering the dry stuff I normally read. Sex can be at once graphic and humorous (the book isn't for kids). Her character (herself) will be identifiable to most everyone (unless your name happens to be "Ashley" or you liked picking on girls as a kid and still don't see what's wrong with that) at least at one stage or another. From a popular 7 year old, to the awkward new kid with no friends at a new school, through awkward puberty years, to trying to discover her true self in college through others, and in the end finding "salvation" in finding out that she is who she is and that she defines herself as opposed to defining herself through others. It all sounds so serious, and it is when viewed as one person's true experiences, but is hilarious too. The biggest disappointment in the book is the end, because it leaves you wanting the sequel. A good problem for an author to have. With comedy, you never know what to expect. One person's funny can be another's "meh". A great setup or premise can be ruined by a missed punchline, so I didn't know how it would play out for me when I bought it. It never failed to disappoint me. Seeing as how this book is outside of what I normally read, it was a welcome change of pace and thoroughly entertaining. Perhaps that is one reason why my praise is so high. For someone who loves comedy, but rarely reads it, its is a welcome change of pace, as stated. Its a unique book with a unique outlook that I think will be at some point identifiable to

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 29, 2011

    Honest and laugh out loud funny

    Having the privilege of knowing Dawn from our days in CT, I was thrilled when I received my copy of her book this week and immediately had to start reading. "Until He Comes" is one of the funniest, poignant and most enjoyable books I have read in a while. Dawn is unabashedly honest and hilarious as she discusses her religious upbringing, the pains of adolescence and being the "new kid" in a very strange parallel universe called Avon. Recounting her struggle with her burgeoning sexuality vs. good girl expectations with wit and self-deprecation, Dawn effortlessly creates a touching, frank and very relatable memoir. This is a must read!

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