The Vampire Survival Guide: How to Fight, and Win, Against the Undead

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More About This Book

Overview

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the twenty-first century.

In the tradition of bestsellers like The Zombie Survival Guide and The Zen of Zombie, The Vampire Survival Guide covers everything you need to know to protect yourself from vampires. Topics include the habits and routines of vampires, how to tell if somebody you know has become a vampire, how to protect yourself from attack, how to set traps, what to do if you must fight off multiple vampires, how to cleanse an entire town after devastating vampiric attacks, and much more. It confronts head-on the most terrifying situation of all—that of being bitten by a vampire—by providing the reader with numerous approaches, rooted in both science and medicine and religion, for fighting off blood-suckers before it is too late.

Vampires are found in every country in the world—not just in Eastern Europe and Sunnydale, California. With the human population expected to reach over 9 billion by the year 2050, confrontations between men, women, children, and vampires are increasingly inevitable. This guide is the human race's best hope.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781602392748
  • Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
  • Publication date: 8/1/2008
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 398,159
  • Series: Zen of Zombie Series
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 7.30 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Scott Bowen, author of The Vampire Survival Guide, is the ghostwriter for Luc Richard Ballion and lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2008

    Timely. Timely indeed.

    So the other day my ex-girlfriend called me (as she is wont to do ¿ no sense of boundaries) and told me she thought she¿d been bitten by a vampire. ¿Just now you¿re telling me this?!¿ All this time I had suspected there was some reason she had tried to suck me dry in every way conceivable. - ¿It just happened, you idiot. What do you think I should do?¿ - ¿I don¿t know. Let me research it and get back to you. You don¿t still have a set of my keys, do you?¿ Being the benevolent soul that I am (and having a highly-developed sense of self-preservation), I trotted down to the Barnes & Noble and asked the information clerk if he had any books on vampires that were not in the Twilight series. He said that something new had just come in: the Vampire Survival Guide. I leafed through the book and scanned the table of contents. There was a section entitled, ¿What to do if You¿re in a Relationship with a Vampire.¿ Close enough. ¿I¿ll take it.¿ Now here¿s my take on it: For someone who has clearly spent considerable time dealing with (i.e. dispensing with) the undead, Mr. Bowen has quite a sense humor about it. As well as a sense of history, politics, psychology, criminology, ethics (of the legal, medical and Aristotelian varieties), pop culture and most importantly: survival tactics. Toss your old Boy Scout Handbook and pick up a copy of the VSG. When the Gathering Doom arrives, you¿re going to need to know how to do more than tie a double half-hitch and recognize poison oak if you¿re going to hang out with me. Obviously such a survival guide should debunk myths about vampires and how vampirism is transmitted, teach you how to recognize vampire traits and tactics and instruct on the proper use of vampire-fighting weaponry. The VSG manages to do all this without once mentioning the Corys. It also gives learned answers to the burning questions: ¿Will blaring classical music scare away vampires like it scares away skater kids at the strip mall?¿, ¿I shot a few vampire in-laws and this has created a really awkward situation with my husband¿s family. How can I fix this?¿, ¿What are my liabilities if I set a vampire trap and my doofus neighbor blunders into it and gets severely injured or dies?¿ I¿m not going to spoil it. Just get your own copy so I don¿t have to protect your lard-a** during the inevitable uprising. I¿m taking a copy to my ex and hoping I can get a couple of my straggling CDs back in return. I just hope I don¿t have to stake her through the heart. But if push comes to shove, I won¿t feel that bad about it. After all, she claims I already stomped on it so I¿ll just be finishing the job. Get this book. The life you save may be your own.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 4, 2010

    Highly Recommended

    I got this book as a Halloween gift. I love it! It's so funny. It shipped quickly and came in great condition.

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    Posted October 7, 2010

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    Posted April 30, 2009

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    Posted October 26, 2008

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