Venus Envyby Shannon McKelden
Rachel Greer is fed up with love. For years she was sure her Prince Charming was right around the corner. Ha. Was she ever wrong (and she’s got the exes to prove it). Witnessing her parent’s perfect marriage, her younger sister’s wedding plans in full swing, and her brother’s quickly growing brood, Rachel can’t even go home anymore—… See more details below
Rachel Greer is fed up with love. For years she was sure her Prince Charming was right around the corner. Ha. Was she ever wrong (and she’s got the exes to prove it). Witnessing her parent’s perfect marriage, her younger sister’s wedding plans in full swing, and her brother’s quickly growing brood, Rachel can’t even go home anymore— it’s just another reminder of how she’s failed at love. So Rachel’s devoting her life to meaningful pursuits, like her Customer Service job at the bank and volunteering everywhere from the local dog shelter to a soup kitchen. She’s also determined to ignore handsome firefighter Luke Stanton—who suspiciously opens up a new account once a month. Enter the goddess Venus, forced by her ornery father Zeus into fairy-godmother servitude. Venus is only a few love-life fixes away from returning to Mount Olympus and she’s not about to let some reluctant mortal stand in her way. Venus has barely unpacked her designer luggage before she’s found the perfect man for Rachel: Luke. He’s got a great job and a great bod. And best of all, he’s definitely interested. But Venus has also found an enemy, in the form of Rachel’s best friend, Hannah. Hannah’s not so sure Venus has Rachel’s best intentions in mind. Between Rachel’s sabotage and Hannah’s mistrust, Venus has her hands full on this assignment! Sexy, sassy Venus is a force to be reckoned with—this goddess always gets her man, even if she’s trying to get him for someone else. Armed with her extraordinary goddess powers(well… the few she has left after Zeus got through with her), a killer wardrobe, and the goddess bible (Cosmopolitan), Venus sets out to turn Rachel’s orderly life upside down in the name of True Love.
“Witty, charming, and surprisingly touching. Don’t miss this delightful novel!”
—Beverly Brandt, bestselling author of Match Game on Venus Envy
“Sexy, clever and fun . . . absolutely delightful from beginning to end.”
—Jane Porter, author of The Frog Prince on Venus Envy
“Fans of MaryJanice Davidson will find much to enjoy in this debut. Recommended.”
--Library Journal on Venus Envy
“Mount Olympus-sized fun!”
—Lauren Baratz-Logsted, author of How Nancy Drew Saved My Life, Vertigo on Venus Envy
“McKelden will dazzle readers with her brilliant twists on the beloved fairy tale. Venus Envy is fun, snarky and divine!”
—Susanna Carr, author of Lip Lock
“Take some Greek mythology, add a dash of fairy tale and a big dollop of Cosmo, and you get the cocktail that is Venus Envy—a cute story for anyone who's ever gotten in her own way when it comes to love.”
—Cathy Yardley, author of Turning Japanese
“Loved it from the first line. Full of delightful snark and lots of heart!”—Melissa Senate, author of See Jane Date and Love You To Death on Venus Envy
“Delicious fun! A sparkling, laugh out loud treat.”—Gena Showalter, author of Jewels of Atlantis on Venus Envy
“Charming. McKelden’s sharp sense of humor pulls plenty of weight.”—Publishers Weekly on Venus Envy
- Doherty, Tom Associates, LLC
- Publication date:
- Edition description:
- First Edition
- Product dimensions:
- 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.75(d)
Read an Excerpt
It’s not every day a fairy godmother gets to pick her next victim . . . er . . . godchild.
Actually, today’s not good for me, either. I’m so bored with the whole thing, I could just spit. It’s the same every single time. Pick a loser human female from the crowd, try to convince her she can “be all she can be,” and then wait until she gets it through her thick skull. Then, you move on to another vict— er, godchild—and go through the same process again.
So, in an effort to keep from flinging myself to my death from the next skyscraper I come across (an impossibility, since fairy godmothers can’t die—unfortunately), I’ve decided to liven things up by using a different method for choosing my next godchild. Something more interesting. No, “interesting” isn’t the right word. Entertaining. Definitely entertaining.
I just haven’t figured out how yet.
I’m off to my favorite pastime . . . creative retailing. “Retailing” being shopping . . . for basics like Jimmy Choos, microminis, and that incredible Prada bag that is so on my must-have list. “Creative” because fairy godmothers don’t have a clothing budget. And, no, I don’t shoplift. That would be unethical, and I am ethical if nothing else—although occasionally that depends on who’s defining the word “ethical.” All that counts is that I uphold the standards of my position.
Even if I hate my position.
But, back to shopping. I do not steal to supply my fashion needs. They’re given to me. Usually by wealthy (read: horny) men who are only too happy to supply little old me (and by “old,” I in no way mean to imply that I look old) with the very items that will bring me the most joy. They’re grateful to hand over that American Express for me. Really. That glimpse I give them of cleavage—that their aged, saggy wives no longer possess (or won’t share)—makes it all worth their while.
Well, that and the little mental ego-stroking I provide.
It’s just one of my many skills. I “tell” them how wonderful they are, how virile, how overwhelmingly hot. Never underestimate the power of a well-placed psychic suggestion. I may walk out of that boutique with a shopping bag full of my favorite designers, but the men who fill those bags for me walk out feeling stroked and stoked and larger than life. And after that, I’d bet they’re so fantastic in bed that their wives/girlfriends don’t even notice the five-hundred-dollar women’s clothing charge on the credit card.
So anyway, today, in an effort to assuage my boredom, I’m heading to a darling boutique that’s been calling my name. I think I’ll pop in there and see what I can do to lift my spirits and those of some unsuspecting, er, grateful male. And, perhaps I’ll also find the next contestant for the Venus Cronus Extreme Love Life Makeover.
Or perhaps not, and I’ll just get a momentary reprieve from the tedium.
Copyright © 2006 by Shannon McKelden Cave. All rights reserved.
and post it to your social network
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
See all customer reviews >