Visions Of Life

Visions Of Life

by Charles Anthony Ryan Griffith
     
 

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This book is dedicated to all the wonderful people who've touched my life in so many ways words can't describe the amazing feeling within me...I'm truly grateful for all the life lessons I've learned throughout the years. Without the presence of a higher power none of this would be possible. To my parents who've raised me separately at different stages in my life, you…  See more details below

Overview

This book is dedicated to all the wonderful people who've touched my life in so many ways words can't describe the amazing feeling within me...I'm truly grateful for all the life lessons I've learned throughout the years. Without the presence of a higher power none of this would be possible. To my parents who've raised me separately at different stages in my life, you both did an incredible job and this book is an appreciation to you. With all my heart I thank you. To 2 strangers ( Julie Bohannon & Cheyanne Ramos ) who made my dreams a reality and in the process became friends who I will always be indebted to. Julie gave my voice substance and Cheyanne brought my perception alive. To my brother, friend, mentor, inspiration Glen, I love you for leading me to become the man that I am. To my immediate family, Mani...Amazing says it all for you are truly that. To Wilson, Zaryan, Zakara and Zakiah, you will forever continue to be my light...To the entire Island of Barbados...I came from paradise so it's fitting to say I've seen the mountain top...To the entire Alleyne School Alumni...We were all destined to be great...To my entire SWA Family...Thanks for believing in me an affording me an opportunity of a lifetime. To the rest of the world without unity all existence will cease.

To Fabian, Charmaine, Vesta, Lily, The Grazette Family, The Cumberbatch Family, The Griffith Family, The Young Family, The Carrington Family, The Toussaint Family, The Senpraseuth Family, The Morgan Family and any other family that embraced and welcomed me with open arms...Thank you all.

In Memory of Ronald Concorde Thorne.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781463404154
Publisher:
AuthorHouse
Publication date:
09/22/2011
Pages:
108
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.38(d)

Read an Excerpt

Visions Of Life


By Charles Anthony Ryan Griffith

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Charles Anthony Ryan Griffith
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4634-0416-1


Chapter One

The One

Look deep into the eyes of temptation, but never allow yourself to become another victim ... Always tell yourself I'm in control ... The dominant one ... The one no matter what happens will be successful ... I'm the one who will never accept defeat ... The strong positive one ... The one who makes everyone around me much better ... I'm like sunshine-after all I reflect light ... Know me for who I truly am and maybe you too can be filled with the ability to conquer all negativity ... Always in pursuit of higher learning ... Nothing can stop me-for I'm a true believer ... Follower of none, but leader of those who choose to seek knowledge.

The One came to me approximately four years ago while staring at myself in the mirror; an action prompted not by arrogance but by the pressure of having to make a decision. While looking into the eyes of the person staring back at me, I realized there is "The One" is each and every person, signifying our ability to reason and to gauge right from wrong, and to make decisions based on our intuitions and definitions of decency. By way of example, it was around this time that a two-year-old girl apprehended a journal of mine and proceeded to scribble in it. As a writer my journals are priceless to me. I could easily have lost my temper with the little girl for vandalizing my journal, but instead, I considered her youth and innocence and deemed her act as a form of personal expression. The moral I garnered was that we all have the power to control our actions and to perceive what may appear to be a negative situation as one that is positive. By looking at myself in this light I was able to see and understand such power, thus fostering the notion that I am the one who can determine the nature of my actions and viewpoints.

Life

I cry tears of icecycles seeing pivotal moments of my life ... Trapped in chains of isolation makes me a slave to my evil ways ... Begging for repentance from a life long sentence ... As I count minutes, hours and days ... Placing marks of frustration on walls of resentment ... I felt victim to being tempt ... Escaping reality by creating fantasies of things that could never be ... Wrapped in emotional sath cloth playing harmonious tunes of the blues I'm having ... Grabbing onto strings of life ... is like going for a roller coaster ride on the edge of a knife- scarring me permanently, where even blind folks could see my true identity ... Looking in the mirror at images created by reflections of denial ... Places my soul on trial ... Each day I wash my face in hot water of deceit ... As I keep building bridges of defeat ... Surrounded by illusions of love ... Climbing the ladder of success takes me beyond and above ... LIFE.

There was a time in my late adolescence when I was still filled with arrogance and deceit, and heading down a rather destructive path. Though this attitude is often concomitant with youth I soon realized that something had to change in my life that I had to reevaluate my actions and disposition. In doing so I found it necessary to break ties with certain friends who were not conducive to such change and who were very well hindering my growth as a responsible individual. This resulted in having to make personal phone calls to end these friendships, a task that was truly difficult but completely worthwhile. Life therefore represents the moment that brought me to such a drastic decision, a moment that forced me to look myself in the mirror, identifying and acknowledging the flaws interfering with the person I wanted to become. I knew from that point onward that I wanted to see only positive qualities when I looked into my eyes, and I wanted to feel hopeful about the path in life I selected. Through relaying my personal transformation it is my hope for my readers to realize that it is acceptable to have flaws, so long as you are willing to change. It is my belief that valor stems from acknowledgement of ones faults and the commitment to correct them; whereas true cowardice resides in those who recognize personal shortcomings yet refuse to take ownership of who they are and who they could become.

Demons

Take a look in my eyes ... Journey through my soul-as my life scrolls the struggle unfolds ... Righteous the key to happiness or so I was told ... I represent now and hereafter-spiritual beliefs keeps me surviving disaster ... My family tree consists of permanent black suits (death) ... When Grandma died it severe the roots and tainted the fruits ... Let the truth be known-at an early age daddy kicked me out of his house-said I was grown ... Left searching for an identity ... Worldly possessions kept tempting me ... Tried my best to do what's right ... After a few years I gave up that fight ... To be honest I really never saw the light-everyone talks about ... Until Satan took my hand and now we both walk the same route ... Headed in the wrong direction-still he's the only one that shows me affection ... QUESTION: "Does a black man in America stand in an invisible section?" I finally found a way to release the beast in me ... Now you know why my decision was so easy ... I'm out to please me ... Dear God-break these chains of unconsciousness and release me.

I came from a relatively close-knit family, that was until my grandmother passed away. Her absence in our family left such a tremendous void, forcing my relatives and me to search for answers. It soon became apparent to us that grandma was the glue that kept us together, and without her we were lost. Our lives began to change as a result, beginning with my father's abrupt announcement that I literally had a couple of days to leave his house. I began wondering the streets, striving to figure out my next course of action. Everywhere I turned temptations challenged my will and strength. I needed something or someone to walk with, to guide me through all hardships, but I apprehended that the Devil was the only presence following me. I had a long history of wrong decisions, mistakes that were made possible by the sentiment of feeling invisible to those around me with no one to notice or care about the choices I made. In desperation to save myself, I called upon the assistance of a higher power to grant me the wisdom and strength to pursue a direction in life that would afford success and happiness, devoid of all evil influences. So as it stands, Demons represents my transition from a lost soul to a strong willed individual capable of warding off temptation in pursuit of a righteous path.

Amazing

Can't take this temptation I'm demanding ... Standing at the back of the room fanning-away deep thoughts of hot passion ... The way that dress fits you-must be the queen of fashion ... On love's runway I'm just another plane landing ... Mental stimulation I'm expanding ... With open arms I'm embracing-visions of us making love is what I'm facing-pacing hardwood floors and engraving ... I LOVE YOU-and this feeling is amazing.

I was working at the Oakland Airport teaching training classes to new hires and existing employees. On several occasions I found myself standing before my class of 25 attendants relaying the days while concurrently entertaining random fantasies about my fiancée. I would find myself imaging her in the classroom with the others, wearing an appealing dress and thinking of how amazing she looked and how lucky she made me feel. These fantasies came to mind fairly often but on one particular occasion my mind become so overwhelmed that I actually forgot what I was saying to the class in mid sentence. As a result I was forced to dismiss my students for a five-minute break in hopes of gaining composure and gathering my thoughts. As soon as I had the room to myself I immediately grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a poem to her expressing how amazing she was to me, and how she would always remain in the forefront of my mind no matter the location or circumstance.

Hunted

I dreaded the moment I feared when I stared deep into the eyes of my so called enemy ... Hoping to have enough breath to bring him to his death, but really didn't know what to do, cause I was unarmed and he held a twenty two- caliber stuck in my face ... I prayed to the higher power to give me grace ... Hoping to see another day ... To serve and protect was his way-of total domination that's why we stood segregated into isolation ... He gave me a chance to run, but I stood still, cause I didn't wish to be killed ... Filled his gun up with bullets- placed the nozzle in my mouth as he held the trigger and said he would probably pull it ... If I didn't do as he asked-I was faced with a tough task ... Harass me for two to three hours cause he held the power-firm in his hand as I kept trying to understand ... How could this be as I fell on one knee ... Thinking of ways to devise a plan-he yelled "Who's the man?" He kept playing with my mind and I knew I was running out of time ... For some reason he was distracted-that's when I reacted ... Swept him off of his feet, we wrestled for a while until the gun fell out of his hand-now I'm in command ... It's time for him to rest in peace, but if I kill him I'll become the beast.

Hunted tells the story of one of the most bittersweet, and perhaps the most dramatic moments of my life. I was nineteen years old and just received my driver's license. I entered my father's house to relay the good news, and politely asked for the keys to his car so that I could experience my newfound freedom. He declined though much to my dismay, his best friend, who was visiting at the time, threw me the keys to his luxury car and granted me permission to take it for a test drive. It was truly difficult for me to understand why my own father, who of course knew me very well, would refuse to lend his car to me, but his best friend, who was a mere acquaintance, would throw me the keys to his very expensive car without reservation. Needless to say I did not spend much time pondering this unusual occurrence for the excitement to drive was quite overpowering. I accepted the offer and began driving around the neighborhood. I might have driven as for as a block or two before I noticed a cop car behind me. I was rather apprehensive but decided to keep driving with a cautious eye. I made a right turn, and then a left and the cop was still behind me. At first I thought it nothing more than a coincidence that was until the sirens sounded I pulled over to the curb and the police officer approached the car requesting to see my driver's license. I handed him my permit so that he could process it for verification. Much to my chagrin and bewilderment the officer returned, demanding that I get out of car because he had reason to believe that it was a stolen vehicle. I tried relentlessly to explain the situation but it was of no use, he had me lying face down on the ground. Within minutes five additional police cars surrounded us. Words could never convey how humiliated and degraded I felt, looking up seeing passersby gawking at the dramatic display. I could see and feel them looking at me with contempt and suspicion. A few minutes later I was told to get up from the ground followed by an apology from the police officer for the false accusation. Obviously shaken by the ordeal, I returned to the car, drove two blocks and immediately broke into tears. From that day onward I entered a period of isolation. My days were spent going to and from school and I rarely left the house. This cycle continued for two years, until one day it dawned on me that I couldn't allow one person's stupidity to dictate the course of my life or interfere with my happiness. It is from this hardship that I learned that though injustice will always exist, we cannot allow ourselves to be weakened or broken by the ignorance of others.

Reflections

Look into the eyes of my small kid ... See the future one day he's going to be big ... Cause I'll guide him in the right direction ... Positive is when I look in the mirror and see his reflection ... Images of me surpassing the man that I'm trying to be ... Constantly praying to God to show him the light ... So when he faces his darkest hour he'll shine bright ... Over coming any obstacle in life-his instincts are sharp as a knife ... Cutting through the roots of his problems-having faith knowing he'll solve em ... Standing up for what he believes in and walking away from sin ... Taking strides on the path to achieve success-studying hard so he'll pass any test ... May God bless his heart and soul ... Daddy's love makes him whole.

Reflections is the first component of Beautiful, for it was written in honor of my son, Zaryan, born April 1st, 1998. Upon his arrival I tried tirelessly to compose the perfect poem to accurately express my elation and hopes for him, but I could not force the words to meet my expectations. Finally I looked myself in the mirror and thoughts of my father flooded my mind. I asked myself whether or not I surpassed the man my father was and if I was becoming the man that I aspired to be. I realized that I could answer affirmatively to these questions for I've always aspired to do the right thing and to make the best choices. In the aftermath of my revelation I decided that my hope for Zaryan is that he would possess these qualities of mine, and to surpass them with strength, acuity and compassion. Ever since then I have prayed to a higher power for the teachings instilled in Zaryan will reveal reflections of me.

The Wall

    Deep in a basement an undertaker does some cremating ...
    While a lonely boy is masturbating ...
    Racists are still hating ...
    Sex addicts keep on inflating - sex toys ...
    Cross dressing females are really boys - in disguise ...
    Despite all the tragedies ... Silicon breasts are treated like fallacies ...
    Street walkers are targeted by stalkers ...
    The black moon symbolized doom ...
    A police undercover has a secret lover ...
    Damn - his wife doesn't know its a man!!
    So she pretends to blend in with the crowd ...
    But she'll never hear the truth when the noise is so loud ...
    The church pastor steals from the collection ...
    To help find a cure for his infection - of herpes ...
    He got from Miss C ... There's no need to know the rest of the name ...
    When his wife took the blame ...
    Mr. White abuses his daughter - with mental slaughter ...
    Children locked in a cage are filled with rage ...
    Envious neighbors spy on each other ...
    While a sister sexually molests her brother ...
    In the mind of a killer - murder occurs while watching a thriller ...
    Third degree burns were inflicted ... because a grandpa was addicted ...
    To sniffing propane ... Now he feels the pain ...
    A nice young lady - drives her husband crazy ...
    By watching talk shows - until he attacks her with blows ...
    Two to the head - now she's almost dead ...
    In this neighborhood - there's nothing good ...
    That's why secrets never fall ...
    When they're hidden behind the wall.

The Wall is essentially based on experience living in an apartment complex in North Oakland. I would often over hear various noises coming from my neighbors on the other side of my wall; sounds relaying pleasure, joy, sorrow, and rage. I would amble through surrounding neighborhoods observing people I passed on my way. Paying close attention to their demeanor, disposition, and gait; wondering who they were, where they were going, what secrets they were hiding, and how they normally act with no one around. Such observations led me to ponder the nature of human behavior. How we as humans tend to build a wall around our selves for the sake of withholding from the world the unflattering, perhaps even menacing facets of our personality. It is in this regard that the implication of The Wall is a metaphor for the multifaceted quality of the human temperament, the invisible wall that shields us from bearing our souls to the world. We often look at other people at face value, but truth be told, we are never fully aware of the depravity or sorrow or struggle that possibly exists within each individual. It is my hope that this poem will spur my reader to ask the question "What is on the other side of that wall?" when passing people on the street or simply sitting in an apartment. Aside from the content, The Wall is of particular value to me because it is my first poem. It was ten years ago and I had never before considered translating my thoughts in a productive method. Intrigued by the notion of dual personalities, I felt inspired to record my thoughts without hindrance or reservation. Once I tapped into this creative outlet, I gained the confidence to use poetry as a way to communicate the emotions, occurrences, and revelations I would encounter for years to come.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Visions Of Life by Charles Anthony Ryan Griffith Copyright © 2011 by Charles Anthony Ryan Griffith. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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