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A veteran waitress dishes up a spicy and robust account of life as it really exists behind kitchen doors.
Part memoir, part social commentary, part guide to how to behave when dining out, Debra Ginsberg's book takes readers on her twentyyear journey as a waitress at a soap-operatic Italian restaurant, an exclusive five-star dining club, the dingiest of diners, and more. While chronicling her evolution as a writer, Ginsberg takes a behind-the-scenes look at restaurant ...
A veteran waitress dishes up a spicy and robust account of life as it really exists behind kitchen doors.
Part memoir, part social commentary, part guide to how to behave when dining out, Debra Ginsberg's book takes readers on her twentyyear journey as a waitress at a soap-operatic Italian restaurant, an exclusive five-star dining club, the dingiest of diners, and more. While chronicling her evolution as a writer, Ginsberg takes a behind-the-scenes look at restaurant life-revealing that yes, when pushed, a server will spit in food, and, no, that's not really decaf you're getting-and how most people in this business are in a constant state of waiting to do something else.
"What do you do?"
It's a simple question but one that, for many years, I was almost unable to answer. Sometimes I'd mumble evasively that I was in the service business but more often I'd say something obtuse like "I work in a restaurant." But I was a waitress and therein lay the problem. For 20 years, that particular profession, that particular answer to the question "What do you do?" engendered an almost automatic profile along with a whole set of assumptions.
Waitresses, it seems, have a certain image in the collective consciousness; somewhere between Flo from "Alice" and the tail-sporting servers from the old Playboy Bunny Clubs. If this sounds like an unfounded and grandiose claim, consider that I performed my own informal survey for two decades. I witnessed thousands of customers form the same instant impressions of me year after year. I was their servant of the moment. My living depended on remaining in their good graces for the duration of their meal. How far would I go and what would I do to stay in those elusive good graces—how big a tip did I want, anyway? And these reactions were just from those I served at the table. I received plenty of disparaging looks from those I met simply in the course of my daily life.
It's not that I was ashamed of my job. Part of the reason I waited on tables for so many years was the freedom and financial independence it afforded me. Yet I was consistently sensitive to the reactions it produced from anyone outside of the restaurant business. In a sense, however, prejudging or profiling is endemic of our society. Inevitably, we seek to place our fellow humans in roles we've created for them based on their jobs, their body piercings, or their style of dress. Our judgments, in turn, are based on collective impressions or commonly agreed upon (but not necessarily correct) standards.
I've been guilty of the same prejudgment. I admit it; I'm only human.
And because I'm only human I tried something new recently. I was shopping at my neighborhood grocery store and my friendly checker asked me what I had planned for the weekend. "I'm not going anywhere," I told her, "I've got to work the whole weekend."
"Oh, too bad," she answered. "What do you do?"
"I'm a writer," I told her.
"Wow," she exclaimed, "a writer!" She smiled widely and, across her face an assumption spread bright as sunshine. Although I couldn't tell the exact nature of her assumption, I knew it was different than the all of the pigeonholes I'd been in before.
"That must be so exciting," she said. "Good for you."
This ability to morph my own image so easily gives me pause. Perhaps everybody is playing more or less the same game. The waitress taking my order is probably making her own assumptions about me as I stare at her from the other side of the table. Perhaps her story is much more similar to mine than I'd care to admit.
Just possibly, she might even be me.
Food for thought, served by your waitress.
—Debra Ginsberg, author of Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress
|2.||Tipping (it's not a city in china)||23|
|3.||The back of the house||45|
|4.||Working the fantasy||69|
|5.||The art of waiting||105|
|6.||Molotov cocktail waitress||133|
|7.||In the family way||159|
|8.||A diner in california||189|
|9.||Food and sex||211|
|10.||"Hello, i'll be your postfeminist icon this evening"||241|
It's a very slow Friday night. I've had precious few tables and the evening promises to be a bit of a wash. I check my watch for the tenth time. Only eight-thirty. Although the night drags interminably, I know better than to ask my manager to let me go home.
"You don't know," he'll say, "it could get busy. This is Friday night."
I know it won't get busy. The rush is over. Tomorrow he'll be complaining about skyrocketing labor costs. I fold napkins and wait. The hostess finally saunters over to one of my tables with another deuce. I've had nothing but couples sharing soup and salad tonight. My check average is going through the floor. When I cash out, my manager will complain about this too.
I approach the table and sense trouble immediately. Right off the bat, the drink order is problematic.
"I'll have the cabernet," she says.
"No, you don't want that," he says.
"Yes," she repeats firmly, "I do."
"You want the Chianti," he says, "it's very good here."
"I don't want the Chianti. You can have the Chianti."
"We'll have two cabernets," he says to me, smiling. He acts like he's trying to pacify her, and she looks pissed off already. Somehow, it's going to end up being my fault.
By the time I return with the wine, they're all geared up for a fight.
"I want the special linguini with extra mussels," she says.
"Instead of the shrimp?" I ask.
"No, I want the shrimp. But I also want extra mussels. Can you do that for me? I don't care, I'll pay extra. Whatever it costs." She's giving me a steely-eyed stare, just daring me to say no or even waver in myresponse.
"No problem," I tell her pointedly. "Would you care for a salad or appetizer?"
"I don't eat salad," she says. "Just the mussels. You're going to bring me the extra mussels, right?"
"Extra mussels," I repeat, "no problem." To convince her, I pull out my order pad and make a note. "What a bitch," I write and smile at her. I turn my attention to her date. "And for you, sir?"
"Let me tell you what I want," he says unctuously. This is a phrase that flags trouble as surely as a red cape in front of a bull. It means he's not even going to look at the menu and the dozens of entrees listed there. No, he's got something in his mind and he means for me to get it for him, whatever it is. Especially if it's not on the menu and we don't have it. Whether this is to impress his date, generally act like a big shot, or just to be a pest, I can't tell. He is, however, offering a challenge and setting up a dynamic between the three of us that will last for the duration of his meal. The game has begun and we're off and running.
"I want a shrimp scampi. You got anything like that?"
"You mean the large prawns?"
"Garlic and butter?"
"No," I tell him, "we don't have that. We only have the small shrimp. Sorry." I've picked up the gauntlet. Why should I make this easy? He's certainly not going to.
"Tell the chef to make something for me, then. Something like a shrimp scampi."
"Well, we really don't have any--"
"Just tell him." He smiles again and this time the smile says, "If you don't do what I say, I'm going to call the manager over and make a really big scene."
I take inventory of the situation. His date is pouting smugly. She's really enjoying this. He is a bit of a parody, wearing a gold pinkie ring, a heavy gold bracelet, and enough gold neck chains to choke a horse. When he speaks, he sounds like a bad imitation of Billy Crystal doing Fernando Lamas. He's got Witness Protection Program written all over him. She has a very pretty face, which is spoiled by an inch-thick layer of makeup. She's wearing very little jewelry and often clutches at her purse, which she's kept within reaching distance as if she might need to bolt at any second. Her body-hugging pantsuit is understated but looks expensive. The thought of getting into it with these two is suddenly exhausting. I just don't have the stomach for it tonight. And in the split second I stand there contemplating my next move, I change my mind about my entire plan. Why not give them what they want? It's not as if I don't have the time to go the extra mile for them. I decide I'll even go talk to the chef, despite possible risks to my own mental health. Their date is obviously not going that well. Perhaps, I think, I can help to make this a better evening for them.
"Just a second," I tell them, "I'll be right back."
I approach the chef, who is so bored on this slow night that he's removing the bones from a sea bass at tableside. Normally, he's not overly fond of appearing in front of customers.
"I need you," I whisper to him.
"Oh really?" he says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
As soon as the sea bass has been sufficiently ripped to flaky shreds, the chef follows me to the table. My couple seems quite surprised to see him there.
"I've brought the chef out personally to speak to you," I tell them.
"Oh, this is wonderful," Mr. Gold Chains says. The chef is totally ingratiating, although I can tell he is barely containing his inherently sarcastic streak.
"I just want some...Waiting. Copyright © by Debra Ginsberg. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Posted December 14, 2012
Interesting thoughts about the motives and lives of people dining in resturants and of course the waitstaff. Found myself skimming in some parts of the book as my interest wanned.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 7, 2012
Posted March 8, 2007
Posted February 26, 2007
I think this book was pretty good, i liked learning more about a waitresses life, there veiw from there perspective, and what a waitress really thinks about their job. I would recommend this book to waitresses mostly, but also to people that go out to eat a lot or have always wondered about what they really think and do there lives besides behind that uniform. I thought it was a good book though, i really liked reading her storys about her adventures in live and how she gets threw it all. I think people with diffrent jobs should make books like this to give people an idea on how whatever job they have done or are doing is like.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 23, 2007
I read this book over five years ago and the story line is still as fresh in my mind as last weeks minestrone. I loved how she kept with the profession. Her colorful descriptons of previous parties and customers irregardless of the resturants level of price and fruu=fru were eye openning and hysterical in some cases. Loved the book and have a continued appreciation for profession to honor anybody who brings you food... read it again...Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 9, 2007
I think that this is a really good book. At times it made me feel like i should be a waitress, cause there were some new experiences , but then there were other times were you could or would be in a bad situation. Other wise i couldn't put it down it was a good book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 28, 2005
This was a good book, although I think I was expecting more from it than it gave me, although I would suggest that people in the food serving business read it, I might have liked it more if I were a waitress. I always thought that would be such an interesting job to have and the book did teach me a few things about it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 24, 2005
I'm almost finished with the book. Very good! One of those books that's hard to put down. I just wish she had gone into more detail about herself and her own personality and her relationships with her co-workers. When she talked about the sex-filled soap opera at Baciare and how horny the employees were for one another, she was never part of the lustful drama. Or at least she didn't write about her part in it, if she had one. It was like she was looking in from the outside or sitting at a table observing the interactions like an observant stranger taking notes. I thought it was odd. I'm thinking she's a square peg trying to fit into round holes when it comes to socially and romantically fitting in with her co-workers. She just describes her personal life in such a depressing way that it makes me wonder if she's a 'depressing person' or something. I spent 5 years in the restaurant business, 4 of those in fast food (16 yrs old - 20 yrs) and one as a hostess (during college) for a popular restaurant. Long enough to relate to the sex, drama, stress and exhaustion she discusses. I also know food service people are party animals, there are drugs everywhere, and everyone's sleeping with everyone, at any given time and there is lots of cheating going on. It's a sleazy industry. And it's anything but dreary. Almost all restaurant workers have a thriving social life outside of work (with each other if nobody else). There's always a party somewhere... so she sounds boring and depressing to me. Not her writing, however. Of course, maybe the high drama and high energy level and customer interactions that being a waitress entails ARE her social life. I know people like this. They love it. From what I can gather, she doesn't smile too much, she's short, obviously a talented waitress who can handle the worst case scenarios, and is not a flirtatious or fun-loving person. I have an image in my head of a very non-sexual/non-sensual person, possibly not even that attractive...'to hear her tell it' anyway. Of course she doesn't want drunks grabbing her fanny while slinging cocktails, but she strikes me as the last woman who be good at or even want to be a cocktail waitress (when she was). Cocktail waitresses are normally really good looking (she never described herself really and left the impression she is sort of plain-Jane), have great figures, flirtatious, and usually 'flashy' and they love attention from men. She doesn't (or so it seems). So serious. Her descriptions of her personal life when she wasn't at work (waiting tables) were downright depressing. The worst was when she lived in drizzly, dismal Portland in a basement. I was relieved when she moved to So. California. I couldn't take anymore! The image I've formed in my mind while reading this is that she sounded more like a dark, moody artist than someone who would successfully wait tables at a trendy, high priced So. California Italian restaurant on the beach. I especially enjoy reading this author's book because she is almost exactly my age. So, I can identify when she talks about the early 80s, mid 80s, etc. I really like the book and she's a gifted writer. I'd love to read the one she wrote about her son, Blaze. The exerpts were impressive. Maybe that book will give me a longer peek into her personality and what 'makes her tick'. I'm intrigued to know more about this woman. After all, she's a successful waitress (a job I know I'd hate and would be awful at anyway) and one can't have too downtrodden or depressing of a personality for that. I would hate the hours too. Nights and weekends?? No thanks. Bottom line: She's a gifted writer and I thoroughly enjoy 'Waiting' and plan on reading her other books as well as anything she writes in the future.
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Posted May 25, 2004
If you ever want to give a gift to a server friend of yours...this is one to give! Any server will relate 100% to Debra's experiences as a server. When I read the details she gave as she explained what it was like to try and wait on 5 tables at a time (all with different problems)...I could actually feel the anxiety build up in me. Her description of 'being in the weeds' was right on. I loved her nickname she gave one of her guests....'Mr. Goldchains'! That hit home with me! Debra...thanks for taking time to keep a diary of your serving years. I loved the book!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 16, 2004
I loved this book, it made me laugh and it made me realize that it truely does take a special person to work in Restaurant, not just anyone can work with the hungry public! I manage a restauarant and I miss being a server, But atleast I can still be a part of it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 30, 2003
Debra Ginsberg has hit the nail right on the head with this book! I work in a restaurant and my son was a dishwasher at the same establishment for a time. I have been waitressing at my current job for five years now and have seen many people come and go. Some last a year some a week, others only one day! Being a waitress is a thankless job alot of the time. The only thing that saves us is that family or customer that comes in and smiles at you on good days as well as days you forgot to give them silverware. If it weren't for the tips, most waitresses would quit because the hourly wage is a joke. For all those people who come in and it is their goal to give their waitress a hard time I say... how would you like to cook and serve your own meal today? Don't get me wrong I do enjoy being a waitress but customers need to understand we are people just like them and not their slave for an hour. I reccomend this book extremely highly for any one who works in a restaurant as well as people who enjoy eating in them. Thank you Debra for endless hours of laughter. You have been there and done that. You have made me feel like someone understands what goes on afterall. My son is now studing to be a gourmet chef and I am continueing to work as a waitress to put him through school only now it will be easier remembering the words you have written.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 27, 2003
I've never been a waitress, however, I do frequent in many restaurants and I have always admired the profession of a waitress. Just watching them handle the HEAVY trays of hot food and always being so pleasant with customers is an art in itself. Debra Ginsberg revealed so much more about the "behind the scenes" which is the most underrated profession and the working conditions in restaurants with humor, empathy, and an understanding of what a waitress must endure when encountering with all sorts of customers, mainly the cheap people who refuses to leave a tip - if you can't leave a tip, don't eat in restaurants!! Remember, all workers, no matter what their profession is, have to make a living and everyone has bills to pay. Everyone who frequents into a restaurant SHOULD READ this book because they will have a better understanding why NO WAITRESS should get a lousy tip. Debra shared the most insightful and SURPRISING revelation on which holidays was the most or least rewarding to be on call. A wonderful read and I appreciate this profession so much more and it deserves minimum of 20% tip!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 4, 2002
This author has clearly put heart and soul into writing of her personal experiences in this book. As a former on and off waitress, as well as mother of three, this subject matter piqued my interest, but the book did not carry my interest through to the end. At times written in an end of the year Christmas letter style, at times like a note passed to a girlfriend or an entry in a journal. The text could have developed more substance with some additional editing and polishing. I am pleased to see these experiences related, but would have liked a better read.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 17, 2000
Being a former waitress myself, I truly enjoyed this look into the life a woman finding solitude in waitress while strenghtening her passion in being a writer. I enjoyed the stories of her various adventures working in all different kinds resturants. Her struggles adjusting to different surroundings and finally accepting responsiblity when she accepts raising a child alone. The book gives vital information tipping, resturant labor laws and movie triva regarding waitresses.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 30, 2000
I am a waitress and I absolutely identified with her stories of wild and crazy guests in her restaurants as well as the attitudes of fellow restaurant workers. I found myself shaking my head in agreement with some of her colorful characters. These are people you feel you have not only met but have had dinner with or even waited on in your own restaurant. This is a book which should be read and enjoyed by restaurant workers in order to feel a certain kinship and anyone who eats in a restaurant to give them an insight into what your waitress is going through to do her job.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 14, 2000
This was a really enjoyable book to read. Debra Ginsberg presents a truly accurate depiction of the public consumer. This book reads quite fast, and her witty writing style pulls you right into the story. The book chronologically takes you through her tumultuous career as a waitress. She is very candid and open with her stories, and you get to watch her mature as a person through her stories. She adds in humor nicely, allowing the book to flow quite smoothly. Overall, this book has a lot to offer everyone. It is a somewhat eye-opening experience that doesn't disappoint. You will enjoy this book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 10, 2012
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Posted January 18, 2010
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Posted August 10, 2011
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Posted January 12, 2009
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