Wake Up, I'm Fat!

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Overview
Editorial Reviews
Product Details
Related Subjects
Meet the Author
Read an Excerpt
Interviews & Essays

Overview

"It's all I ever thought about. I'm too fat. I've got to lose some weight. I'll never get a professional acting job if I'm that fat. And even though there were times when they'd actually say nice things about my acting, like: 'Camryn, that was great, really nice job,' I, of course, interpreted it as, 'Camryn, your acting in that scene was much less fat, that's the kind of slender acting we like to see.' That was my goal. To be a fat-free actor."—Camryn Manheim

Thankfully, Camryn Manheim has never played by the rules. Her fierce determination to defy the beauty myth, the naysayers, and casting stereotypes has resulted in one of today's most remarkable and unique Hollywood success stories.

"This is for all the fat girls!" Manheim proudly proclaimed to the world in 1998 when she won the Emmy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in the popular ABC-TV drama "The Practice." But it took her decades to let go of the self-loathing and make peace with her body. Wake Up, I'm Fat! is Manheim's defiant, frank, poignant, and wildly funny account of growing up fat in a thin-obsessed culture...and thriving. "This is my journey," says Manheim, "from victim to victor."

Born in New Jersey and raised in the Midwest, Manheim grew up in the late 1960s in a family of suburban Jewish activists who placed a premium on education. Her life changed at the age of 11, when her family moved to southern California. In this sun-soaked mecca, Manheim experienced culture shock: People shopped for groceries in bikinis! Soon she met a "friend," a dependable source of protection and comfort: her fat. And "he" stuck with her. (Manheim always thinks ofher fat as male. "I know it says something about me that I consider the personification of my fat to be male," she confides, "but over the years I've realized that its tyranny is quintessentially masculine.") Through the summer of her 16th year, when she happily worked as a buxom wench at the Renaissance Faire; her undergraduate days at UC Santa Cruz, when she rode a motorcycle and discovered that she wasn't a lesbian; her years as a tortured drama student at New York University, when a professor named Dick asked, "What are you doing about your body?" Manheim's fat remained constant. "I view my fat as Mussolini," she says. "It is a terrible oppressor that makes the shame run on time."

Pulsing with outrage and humor, Wake Up, I'm Fat! captures the battle for both self- and social acceptance fought by women with less than model-thin bodies. Throughout, Manheim candidly shares her own personal moments of shock and anger, shame and despair. Yet she also reveals her triumphs and revelations—including the joy of connecting with other wonderful big women.

Recalling the sting of society's judgmental scorn—especially when embodied by would-be employers and would-be lovers—Manheim ponders, "It's against all odds that I've managed to arrive in my mid-thirties with any self-respect and self-worth. It's a miracle that I laugh every day and walk through my life with pride and confidence, because our culture is unrelenting when it comes to large people." But she's a survivor and a woman with a mission: "I have chosen to spend all of my positive energy on changing the world's perception of fat people. I am proud to carry a torch in the battle for fat acceptance. But it's just one of a million torches that need to be lit and held high."

A heartfelt and spirited personal memoir, and a wake-up call to the fat and "unfat" alike, Wake Up, I'm Fat! will make readers laugh, think, and perhaps light a torch of their own.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

The Barnes & Noble Review
Wake Up, I'm Fat is Camryn Manheim's "celebration of ass-kicking."

The Emmy-winning actress says as much in the first few pages of her terrific new memoir. It's not "the whiny lamentation of a girl who was never asked to dance" — far from it. It's a laugh-out-loud joyride on the back of Manheim's motorcycle as she rips fearlessly through the ups and downs of her life.

She wasn't always fat, she tells us, but she grew up alongside a sister who was. She began to put on weight around age 11, much to her shock as a newcomer to Southern California, where body image counted. She became, she says, "the unofficial poster child for Levi Strauss," refusing to wear the insipid sundresses her mother bought and hiding instead inside jeans and baggy shirts. What changed her life was a visit to a local Renaissance fair, where she saw women of all shapes "fabulously garbed and having the time of their lives": "Much to my surprise I wanted to shed my Levi's and don long colorful skirts and bodices that celebrated breasts.... I wanted to finally be in a world that devoured curvy women and honored them with due respect."

Doggedly determined to become an actress, Manheim auditioned for NYU's graduate drama program, a grueling curriculum from which actors who didn't make the grade were winnowed over the course of three years. Early on, Manheim felt she was falling short — or rather, falling fat. Eventually she was summoned to the chairperson's office for "a little tête-à-tête":
"Camryn, we think that you should consider losing some weight thissummer.There would be so many more opportunities afforded to you if you were thinner." I almost expected her to say "We hope to see a lot less of you in the fall."

Manheim made it through the program, but her health — after heavy amphetamine use to control her weight — and her psyche were shot. But slowly she began to build her list of credits, appearing in small parts in off-off-Broadway plays and doing a turn in the film "The Road to Wellville" as a nurse who appears naked. "I got naked," she says, "and not just me naked, by myself, all alone, nobody else. No, I got naked next to Bridget Fonda, who, if you ask me, could use a sandwich."

Manheim thought, she says, that the "Wellville" role would be a breakthrough for her. But: "Can you guess? Yep, every single role I was up for was the put-upon, ugly, butt-of-the-joke fat girl." Nevertheless, the role fueled her growing self-acceptance. As she was having difficulty finding roles that were right for her, she decided there was one role for which only she was right, and mounted a smashing one-woman show entitled "Wake Up, I'm Fat!"

When the television series "The Practice" was being cast, they were looking for a "sassy, streetwise kind of gal." Manheim responded with characteristic bravado: "Hello! Streetwise and sassy? I know where all the crack houses are, and 'fuck' is my favorite word. How much more streetwise and sassy can you be?" By beating David E. Kelley, the series' creator, in cribbage, Manheim got his attention; by acting like the "big, ballsy woman" that she is, she got the part.

Manheim believes that her family background of activism obligates her to speak out against injustice. The mistreatment and underrepresentation of fat women in the fashion and entertainment world is, she believes, just such an injustice. So it's no surprise that she's become a vocal supporter of the size acceptance movement, a crusader of sorts. "I never intended to become the spokeswoman for the fat acceptance movement," Manheim claims. "But I did want to provide an alternative role model to young girls so they wouldn't feel such pressure to emulate the unrealistic beauty standard in our society."

Manheim's committed to her mission. When she was nominated for an Emmy for her work on "The Practice," she refused to wear a gown by any designer who didn't market a line of clothing for heavy women. And when she won that Emmy, she held it high and crowed, "This is for all the fat girls!"

Manheim is not shy about discussing her defeats but she prefers to dwell on how she turned them into triumphs.Wake Up, I'm Fat!, adapted from her stage show, is a funny, intimate, and candid introduction to a talented actress and, yes, inspiring role model. This book is indeed a celebration of ass-kicking.

Camryn, we're thrilled to be invited to the party.

— Julie Robichaux

BUST Magazine

[Manheim] writes her history with hilarious, effortless punch and blistering honesty.

Lisa Schwarzbaum

...[T]he liberated, humorous, triumphant story of how she got [fat]....also about discovering the vitality of acting and sex and loving her flesh, most of the time....fresh and feisty....Anyone could benefit from her lessons in living large.
—Entertainment Weekly

Library Journal

Emmy Award-winning actress Manheim wants you to know that she is fat and proud of it. Manheim is an "in-your-face" advocate for fat acceptance who practices what she preaches by challenging standards of beauty in her life and work, as evidenced by such seemingly small but significant battles as choosing her own wardrobe for her on-screen portrayals. An offshoot of her one-woman show, Manheim's biography chronicles her personal struggle to come to terms with her own self-image. From her formative years in California as a typical teenager traumatized by body type, to her self-loathing as a vibrant (and strident) acting student at NYU, to her "backlash" in the form of critically acclaimed performances on stage and screen, hers has been a quest for self-acceptance. Manheim is opinionated and raucous, charismatic and convincing. Her confrontational style is abrasive, at times shrill, and not for the fainthearted. But she gets her point across in anecdotes that are alternately hilarious and harrowing. You'll emerge from the experience firmly ensconced on the side of the author. Recommended for celebrity biography collections. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 1/99.]--Jayne Plymale, Aiken, SC Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.

Lisa Schwarzbaum

Kirkus Reviews

A stand-up story of being fat in a thin-is-in culture from the Emmy Award–winning actress who plays a spirited lawyer on ABC's The Practice. Born in Peoria as Debra ("a name with no character, no euphony, no style"), the author was thin until her family moved to Southern California. There, where thin really mattered, she grew tall (5_10") and wide; with no place for her in the usual high school cliques (jock, cheerleader, even the nerds), she smoked marijuana and faked acid trips with the druggies. Summer jobs as a "wench" at the local Renaissance Faires, where "women like me were worshipped" bolstered her self-confidence. The University of California at Santa Cruz introduced her to radical feminist politics, and graduate study at New York University's theater school to public humiliation: one teacher persisted in interrogating her in class regarding "what [she was] going to do about [her] body." She challenged him and others like him, but faced by rejection from agents, producers, and even (she believed) by her parents because of her weight, she learned to hate herself. In search of her lost self-confidence, she explored the world of fat fanciers via personal ads and found both a supportive community and a frightening underworld of S/M, where women let themselves be force-fed into gaining hundreds of pounds. Meanwhile, her acting resumé continued to accumulate credits, including a role in the film Wellness and a one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat, that eventually led to both her TV role and this book. She credits her family's history of political activism with her current activism on behalf of fat women. Rosie O'Donnell wrote the foreword. Amusing, gossipy, frank, but alsoreplete with stories of the psychic nicks and scrapes that fat people face every day as a result of "society's contempt for people like me." (15 b&w photos) ($100,000 ad/promo; TV/radio satellite tour)

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780767903622
Publisher: Broadway Books
Publication date: 5/11/1999
Edition number: 1
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.85 (w) x 8.56 (h) x 1.03 (d)

Meet the Author

Camryn Manheim is an actor, activist, writer, and playwright who rides a Honda CB650, and whose current role as the smart, passionate, combative attorney Ellenor Frutt on ABC's The Practice earned her an Emmy Award and a Golden Globe Award for best supporting actress in a drama. Her film credits include Happiness, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, The Road to Wellville, Eraser, Mercury Rising, and Wide Awake. She holds a master's degree in acting from NYU and is proud to have performed in most of New York's off-Broadway theaters, winning an Obie Award and an Encore Award for her performance in Craig Lucas's Missing Persons. In 1994 she brought her acclaimed one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat! , to the Joseph Papp Public Theater. She divides her time between New York and Los Angeles, but is registered to vote in New York.

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Read an Excerpt

Foreword
by Rosie O'Donnell

Tucking.

There. I said it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I tucked once. I'll never forget it. It was 1982, "An Evening at the Improv" hosted by Cicely Tyson, and there, on national television, you could see it. The unmistakable line of the top of my pants as my shirt discreetly disappeared below. I had tucked. Not only had I tucked, I garnished the entire experience with a belt. Shocking, but true.

For most people, tucking is a nonevent. But for those of us who tend to the round, it isn't so simple. To tuck or not to tuck? That is the question. It comes loaded with issues of self-perception and self-acceptance.

Camryn Manheim is a tucker--a proud and consistent tucker. To me, her tucking is emblematic of her journey to be defined and, most important, to define herself on her own terms. In her hands, tucking is a celebration.

Wake Up, I'm Fat! is the work of a loud and independent spirit that ultimately refused to be constrained by shame. The push-pull of weight as an armor or albatross, the internal deals and monologues, the yearning to be on the inside while eternally feeling on the outside are explored with a courageous honesty. We see her struggle to shed the layers of self-loathing and replace them with a sense of her own value. We see her slowly accept herself. The story here is of a heart, mind, and soul that learned they deserved to be held in equal measure to their external package--no matter who or what said otherwise. The achievement of that exquisite balance is exhilarating and inspiring. In short, a great read.

I watched Camryn win her first Emmy Award and, along with millions ofwomen, cheered as she dedicated it to "all the fat girls" out there. When she asked me to write the foreword to this book, there was no way I could refuse. Camryn Manheim is a compassionate maverick. She built the bandwagon and she is pulling it. I, for one, am jumping on.

--Rosie O'Donnell

Author's Note

For most of my life I was waiting for my life to begin. When I was ten, all I wanted was to be thirteen . . . so I could finally be a teenager. When I was thirteen, I was just waiting to be sixteen . . . so I could drive. Then I was waiting to be eighteen . . . so I could vote. Then I had to wait three more years to be twenty-one . . . so I could drink. When I was twenty-one, I was waiting for college to be over, so my life could finally start. And then there was graduate school, and life certainly couldn't start there. And then I was twenty-eight, thinking now my life can finally start. But then another year passed and I was twenty-nine, waiting for a great apartment, then I was thirty and waiting for a great job, and then I was thirty-one and waiting for a great boyfriend so my life could finally start.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. All my life I was waiting for my life to begin, as if my life were somehow way up ahead of me, and one day I would just arrive there. I've wanted to write a book for ten years now, but I was waiting. Waiting to be thin, so I could write about what it was like to be fat and how I emerged the righteous champion: the conqueror of my fat!

But a few years ago I finally realized something. My life was not way up ahead of me. I was standing smack dab in the middle of it. In fact, I was standing on the corner of "Life" and "You better get going, Camryn," and the way I saw it, I had two choices: I could either cross that street or just keep waiting for a few more years of green lights to go by.

I no longer wanted to be a bystander, a spectator watching my life unfold. I wanted to be the writer, director, and star of my story. And so, in August 1993, I began work on my one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat! Despite that chronic, nagging feeling that I had nothing particularly special to offer, I realized that there was one area in which I was an expert. I knew every nook and cranny of what it was like to grow up fat in America. And guess what, it's no fucking picnic. To make matters worse, I was cursed with a singular passion for acting. Not astronomy. Not veterinary medicine. Not haberdashery. No, I was in love with acting, a profession that is all too often based on how you look. It didn't matter what an agent or a casting director actually said when they rejected me, all I heard was "You're too fat."

This book, however, is not the whiny lamentation of a girl who was never asked to dance (well, maybe occasionally whiny). It is a celebration of ass-kicking. It is my enthusiastic rejection of the beauty myth and a call to arms in the fight for self-acceptance. This is my journey, from victim to victor.

The following anecdotes are true. I think. Over the years, after-dinner stories tend to bend and twist and become more colorful and dazzling than they originally may have been. A flourish here, a double entendre there, a wee embellishment for emphasis. Sometimes the truth is drab, redundant, and ludicrous and needs a little decoration or refinement. This has been my greatest challenge: to be precise without boring you to tears, to be honest without making enemies, and to be candid without getting sued. Wish me luck.

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Interviews & Essays

On Thursday, May 20th, barnesandnoble.com welcomed Camryn Manheim to discuss WAKE UP, I'M FAT!

Moderator: Good evening and welcome to the Auditorium, Camryn Manheim. We are honored to have you with us this evening and thrilled to have the chance to discuss WAKE UP, I'M FAT! How are you tonight?

Camryn Manheim: I'm terrific, and I'm really thrilled to be here. Thanks for logging on!

Katherine LaLima from Summerville, SC: Camryn, although I love the theater, I've noticed that there isn't much room in Hollywood for "aesthetic dissent." Being more of an insider than I, how likely do you think it is for fat men and women to score prominent roles on the stage and screen? Oh, and you're amazing. I'd die to meet you. Thank you for being vocal.

Camryn Manheim: Unfortunately, I haven't seen enough change in Hollywood. I was hoping with the success of "The Practice" they would take heed with the different body shapes and sizes that we present. But unfortunately, the opposite is occurring. Next year, you'll see more of "Dawson's Creek" and "Felicity" and "Buffy," and we can only hope that in the following season we'll see some kind of impact.

Patty D from Maryland: A study came out today finding a correlation between the increased popularity of television in Fiji over the course of the last four years ago and the number of cases of teenage girls with anorexia. Do you think that this study jives with what you've seen? What do you think the television industry should do about the anorexia/bulimia epidemic in this country?

Camryn Manheim: Well, I think they should take responsibility, or at least some responsibility, for it and start putting real images of women on television. We are killing young girls by asking them to buy into a beauty myth that is unattainable without serious consequences to their health. Someone's gotta take the blame, and I think we can start in Hollywood.

Voluptuous V from Massachusetts: I've seen you on the cover of a few plus-size woman's magazines. Did you start modeling before or after you started with "The Practice"?

Camryn Manheim: I started modeling after "The Practice." I wasn't cool enough prior to "The Practice" to grace the covers of those magazines. But it's been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I've certainly modeled in my own bedroom, but now I'm getting paid for it! Pretty cool, eh?

Cosmo's mom from New Orleans: So, I cooked, cleaned, and dressed up for jambalaya dinner -- and no show. Guess I should invite Lefty next time. So happy for you and your success. Thanks for the courage, sister.

Camryn Manheim: Lefty is always happy to come to dinner. Sorry, we couldn't make it. Hope you'll give us a rain check.

Tracey from Concord, CA: Congratulations on hitting the New York Times bestseller list. Not only are you an Emmy Award-winning actress, but you are now also a New York Times bestseller. Did you always know you were going to write a book? Or was that more of a recent ambition?

Camryn Manheim: Thank you so much, Tracey! I never in my whole life thought I'd be on the New York Times bestseller list. It is beyond my comprehension -- and my parents' too, especially since we weren't even sure if I was going to graduate from college. It was an honor, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Can't imagine birth being harder than writing a book.

Vince (The Wolfman) Dawson from Albuquerque, New Mexico: What is on your CD player right now? What kind of music preference do you have at this time?

Camryn Manheim: Good question -- pretty much I play Keb'mo' around the clock. He's my favorite, and he rocks my world. Other than that, unfortunately I'm stuck in the '70s, when I had time to find new musicians. Still love Neil Young.

Beth from Tucson: In your book you mentioned problems with your professors at NYU. Have you experienced similar problems, for instance, with your coworkers on "The Practice" or in any other professional setting? Being a professional in the business arena myself, I sometimes feel that being overweight is a hindrance. If you have, how have you handled the situations?

Camryn Manheim: Now that I've totally accepted myself -- and I basically carry around a Fat Police badge -- nobody messes with me anymore. I think they're afraid that if they try to make me feel shameful, I'll just hand it right back to 'em. The shame doesn't belong to me anymore. And I never want to go there again.

crh from Maine: Hi, Camryn. I have your book, and I love it. I was wondering what it was like for you to write it? Was it painful wading through all those hurtful areas, or was it therapeutic?

Camryn Manheim: It was both painful and therapeutic. It's hard to go back and tell the truth when it caused so much suffering, but there's nothing more empowering than telling the truth and owning it. I've never felt more in control of my life, since I told the truth and gave up the shame. It was incredibly cathartic, but it wasn't always easy. But nothing important ever is.

Shauna Pinkerton from NYC: Hi, Camryn! I love "The Practice"! Were your feelings hurt when the script had Lucy calling you fat? Did they ask you for permission before writing that? Lucy is the only one who really says what everyone else is thinking.

Camryn Manheim: That's interesting. David does not ask permission to write things in a script, but he would certainly want to hear what I had to say. I was not offended in the least when Lucy said that, because it reflects real life, and I think Ellenor's response was perfect. I am a big girl. Obviously it's an issue, and the cool thing about David Kelley is that he never dwells on it but revisits it now and again. Which is kind of like my own life. I want David to have the permission to make me and all the other characters in "The Practice" real.

Lesley Clark from Cabrillo JC of old: Camryn (a.k.a. Debbie!) -- wow, I am taking this opportunity to say congratulations! Of all the old theater gang at Cabrillo, I somehow had a stinking suspicion you would make it! Do you remember the "tacky party" you held at your house in Capitola? You served the Spaghetti-o and vienna sausage casserole with the lime green jello with mandarin orange slices and pastel marshmallows.

Camryn Manheim: I totally remember that party with all the generic food and Pin the Penis on the Stud! I have photos in my photo album. Howdy! Good to hear from you! Hope to see you in Santa Cruz tomorrow night -- 7:30, Bookshop Santa Cruz.

Sandee from Texas: So far my favorite picture is of you in the black corset with hat. You looked fabulous! (Shania Twain had almost the same outfit -- but couldn't pull it off.) Whose inspiration was the outfit?

Camryn Manheim: That was inspired by Alan Cumming, who is the lead in the New York production of "Cabaret." We wanted to take a photograph together, so we got a little bawdy. Thank you, I'm pretty proud of that picture too.

Ray Baumgardner from Marysville, Washington: Hi, Camryn. I think you are very beautiful, and I would love to have dinner with you! Are you taken?

Camryn Manheim: Thank you so much, Ray! Please fill out my boyfriend form in my book on page 117 -- not that I have it memorized.... I will be reading each and every one of them.

Diane from New Orleans: Please tell me you can be talked into coming to New Orleans on a book tour! There's a Barnes & Noble right here!

Camryn Manheim: I love New Orleans! What a great city, you lucky woman! I have nothing to do with the decision of which cities I'm going to, unfortunately, because New Orleans would have been on the top of the list! However, I don't have to do a book reading -- just invite me to your house! And if you really want to hear me read the book, it's on audio!

Khristina from Trinidad, CA: Hello. Congratulations on your many acting awards. You've looked gorgeous while accepting them, more so because your pride and acceptance of your body is very apparent. My question is: How long has it taken you to feel comfortable in your body? Thanks.

Camryn Manheim: The struggle always continues, but I decided maybe only six or seven years ago that I was tired of beating myself up for the way I looked, and I started loving myself for the person I am. It's such a relief. It seems too easy to hate ourselves and so difficult to love ourselves. But really, when you think about it, the opposite should be true.

Brian from Delaware: I loved your performance in "Happiness." Any plans for independent films in the future? Thanks to your character in the movie, every time I go to Pathmark, I think of the movie.

Camryn Manheim: I don't know if that's a compliment, but I will say I'm very proud of that movie, and I would work with Todd Solondz even if I had to pay him. He's a genius. I love the independent films, and I plan to do a lot of them. Just looking for the right project. Got any ideas?

Sheryl from NYC: Hi, Camryn! Kudos on the book and all of your success! Now that you have achieved so much and your dreams are reality, what are your goals for the future? Fat police or no, are there roles you would love to play, and what projects of your own are you developing?

Camryn Manheim: Nice of you to ask.... I'm currently developing two scripts. One's a big action-thriller, and another is a small, dark love story -- starring me, of course! I intend to get involved in producing -- not just films but babies, too! And instead of spreading myself so thin among so many charities, I'm going to pick one and get really involved.

Cord M from Long Beach, CA: Hello, Camryn! This is so exciting. I've been a fan of yours since I saw you in "The Road to Wellville." I haven't read your book yet; it's in the mail from barnesandnoble.com. Just wanted to say I saw you on the cover of the June Mode. You look gorgeous -- took my breath away.

Camryn Manheim: Thank you, that is so sweet, coming from my hometown. I grew up in Long Beach, and Mode is a very important magazine to me, and I'm proud to grace the cover. Thank you, thank you for your kind words.

T. J. from Los Angeles, CA: Camryn, you are a great role model, and I look up to you. Did you ever encounter family pressure to lose weight?

Camryn Manheim: Boy, did I ever! That would be an understatement. It was an ongoing struggle for years. You know, parents just want the best for us, and they know the world isn't lining up to love, respect, and employ fat people. It's not easy learning to love yourself when so many people want us to hate ourselves. But if you ask me, it should be the only goal, so we can live our lives without regret. You have to teach your family how to be open and embracing of you.

Rigel from Medford, OR: I heard that you like Cat Stevens. Do you like his newer or older stuff?

Camryn Manheim: I refuse to buy any of his newer stuff because of his support to the Ayatollah's death threats on Salman Rushdie. I think of the man who wrote "Peace Train," or the Cat Stevens I used to know, as a separate man than he is now. I listen to the old stuff because it is filled with such beautiful memories for me.

Shalaine from New Jersey: Congratulations, Camryn, on all your success. I was wondering if you could be anyone in this world except yourself, who would it be and why? (I've asked about 100 people so far, and these were just some of the answers: a butterfly, Mel Gibson, Obi Wan, God, an angel, Tom Cruise, Michelle Pfeiffer, Julia Roberts, and one person said she would like to be you!)

Camryn Manheim: Awwww...that was so sweet! I've been asked that question before, and it's really hard to answer, because there are so many qualities in different people that I admire. I always think a safe bet is to say I'd like to be my mother, because I love her so much; it must be nice to be the recipient of that kind of love. I'd like to be the president of the Red Cross or something that makes a major contribution to humankind. Other than that, I'm just gonna stay me.

Lisa from New Jersey: I totally loved your book and read it in a day. I really related to your Jewish experiences. I think I have met many Doug Schmidts in my day. Unfortunately, my parents are to the right -- which made for me being a very confused Jew growing up. I don't think I need to explain. Have you gone to any Jewish single dances (Jew fests) in New York? Doug Schmidt galore!

Camryn Manheim: Ha ha ha...very funny. I've heard about those "festivals of Jewishness," but since I never had much luck at the Jewish Community Center finding boyfriends, I never thought it would pay off if I went. Because I'm not particularly religious, I don't like to pigeonhole myself in one market, but Lord knows, if I found myself a nice Jewish boy, I could make my mother happy, my father happy, and myself happy all at the same time. But I hope you have more luck than I've had at any of those dances.

Avery Ray Colter from Concord, CA: Sorry we were a little far to come today. What other fat-acceptance books have you read so far, and did they have any influence on your own work and writing?

Camryn Manheim: You know, during the writing of the book, I was sent a dozen books on fat acceptance, and I tried not to read them so I wouldn't be tempted to steal things from them. I've always been a big plagiarizer, way back in college, so it was tempting. I read a book called SEXY AT ANY SIZE, THE POLITICS OF FAT, Emme's book, and a few others. We all have similar stories, different battles, and the same small victories.

Sandee from Texas: Are you feeling the pressure of being an American role model for plus-size gals?

Camryn Manheim: Sometimes I feel a bit of a pressure to be on my best behavior, to look my best, to be well-informed, to be articulate, but other times, I feel proud that I've made a contribution and that I've helped some women with their self-esteem. If I had to do it all over again, and I knew in advance the consequences of my success, I would have picked up the torch sooner. Finally, I know why I'm on the planet.

Moderator: Do you have any books you've been saving up to read this summer?

Camryn Manheim: DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD, A CRIMINAL APPEAL, Peter Hedges' AN OCEAN IN IOWA, anything by Anne Lamott, and BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY.

Mary from Kansas City: I read your book in one night and loved it -- can't say that I am as evolved as you but working on it! Did you see or hear about Tom Selleck on "Rosie"? What are your thoughts on the subject?

Camryn Manheim: I didn't see or hear about him on "Rosie" -- but now I'm dying to know! Please tell me what happened! I've been on this little thing called a book tour and haven't seen anything but my stupid self!

Monica (not Lewinsky) from Indianapolis: Hi, Camryn! I love your book, and I admire your great outlook on life. In your book, you talked about playing guitar and singing. Do you think you would ever be interested in doing an album?

Camryn Manheim: Of course I would be interested, or else how am I going to win a Grammy!? I doubt that anyone will give me a recording contract, but I still love to pick up my Gibson and squeal out a few old Neil Young tunes.

dmp from New Jersey: Camryn, thanks for being the breath of fresh air that Hollywood needed. Do you have any plans to grace the New York stage again any time soon, or is the political arena going to grab you first? Whichever, you go girl!

Camryn Manheim: I think that there's enough of me to do theater and politics, or aren't they just the same thing, anyway? You bet I'll be back on the New York stage. You can't keep me away -- I'm in love with the theater. In fact, I'm in mourning for Manhattan. Just a little Chekhovian humor.

Sandee from Texas: All my life I've been full-figured and still hear that I should be wearing my hair short. Thanks for proving them wrong. Have you always had such beautiful long hair?

Camryn Manheim: I've had long hair all my life, except for the one time when I slept with bubble gum in my mouth, and it ended up in a gooey wad tangled in my hair. My mom cut it off, and I looked like Mark Lester from "Oliver"! I haven't chewed gum since!

Jen from Jersey City, NJ: In your early career, were you able to make choices about what acting roles you accepted to avoid being typecast in a "fat" role?

Camryn Manheim: You don't have very many choices in your early career. You pretty much take what you can get. But as you build your résumé, you increase your power and consequently have more input in the decision making. But nope, I have to say, early in my career, I was stuck playing nurses, prison wardens, Swedish massage therapists -- you know, the fat women parts. Now you couldn't pay me enough money to put on a uniform and carry a baton!

Mary from Kansas City: The Tom Selleck thing: As you probably know, Rosie is very passionate about gun-control issues, and Tom is a member of the NRA. She was trying to have a conversation with him -- they almost came to blows. Rosie was very upset. The interesting thing is that Tom was insisting that he is not a spokesperson for NRA, but he has an ad that says something like "I am the NRA." I felt bad for Rosie because she was so upset, and he was such a jerk to her -- very sarcastic, demeaning, etc. It did bring up the responsibility of public figures -- what they say, what they choose to publicly support, etc.

Camryn Manheim: I find it so hard to believe that, given the climate in America, anyone in his right mind would come out in support of the NRA. Frankly, it disgusts me that the response to the Columbine tragedy from Charlton Heston was that if they had more armed guards at the school, this could have been prevented. This is a national crisis, and I'm willing to give up the freedom to bear arms to save our children. It is beyond comprehension, and I am filled with sorrow and grief for how heinously the NRA has handled this. Rosie rocks.

Carter from New York: Has your work on "The Practice" affected your views on the legal system in this country? What is the most surprising thing you have learned from your research?

Camryn Manheim: The most surprising thing I've learned from my research is that we aren't innocent until proven guilty, and that's a shame. The judicial system has so many flaws, and we stand on ceremony so often that we forget the real reason for justice, which is to stop the criminals from hurting people. It's gotten out of control! If there's a mistake on the part of that cops, or what have you (and I'm sure the ACLU will be pissed off at me).... We need to reevaluate, because there are too many crimes being committed over and over again, and perhaps with a little restructuring of the system, we could prevent it. But I'm happy to give anybody legal advice, because I play a lawyer on TV.

Joe from Lexington: Loved your book. You are so talented in so many different ways! If (and hopefully when) your character Ellenor becomes involved, will you do some "NYPD Blue"-style love scenes, bare butt and all?

Camryn Manheim: Will I do them?! I've been begging for a bare butt scene! Somebody's gotta show that big, beautiful women are indeed big and beautiful!

Irene from Cheyenne, WY: Are you planning on doing any more one-woman shows? Are you still writing? Can we expect any more books from you?

Camryn Manheim: Oy vey! I am jotting down all the wonderful things that are happening to me. I keep an extensive diary, because my life is just an adventure these days. You may see another book out of me -- WAKE UP, I'M STILL FAT! But no promises.

Ma King from Texas: I am a full-figure woman, and this may be a silly question, but what are your favorite clothing shops? I am always on the lookout for a good store!

Camryn Manheim: Wow, it depends on your price range. If you want to buy something really special, go to Saks and Bloomies; Macy's is a good bet -- and Lane Bryant for your everyday needs. We're lucky that things are changing really dramatically for fashion for plus sizes. For the first time, I love shopping and wearing clothes.

T. J. from Los Angeles, California: Camryn, I live in the South Bay area of L.A. (Harbor City, to be precise), and I was wondering how you liked growing up in this area.

Camryn Manheim: It was mortifying! Too many girls in string bikinis! Coming from the Midwest, where girls wore one-piece bathing suits with turtlenecks and short sleeves, it was pretty scary. I talk a lot about Long Beach in my book, and how happy I was to get out of there. It's a nice place to visit....

Moderator: Thank you, Camryn Manheim! Best of luck with your new book, WAKE UP, I'M FAT. Before you leave, do you have any parting thoughts for the online audience?

Camryn Manheim: I can't believe how many of you logged on to chat with me. You'll never know how great a feeling it is to feel the global warming I receive from all of you. I'm really proud of my book. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it's not just for fat girls, but for anyone who is struggling to overcome something they perceive as negative about themselves and move forward without regrets. This has been the most thrilling time of my life, and I'm grateful for all of your support. I feel it, and it is beautiful. I wish I could meet you all! Keep logging on to barnesandnoble.com, and I'll hear from you through letters at the studio!

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Anonymous

Posted January 10, 2001

This Truely Is For All The Fat Girls

My body is not what you would call...the Norm. I am teenager, and thus my self-esteem is frequently on the brink of crashing down all around me. Or at least, that is how it was before I read this book. It really bulit upon my fragile ego so that I am no longer the 'quiet, shy, fat girl', and instead have taken the role of 'powerful, inspirational, fat girl'. I love the book and love Miss Manhiem for her portayal of reality. Thank you Camryn.
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Anonymous

Posted May 22, 2000

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE!!!

CAMRYN HAS WRITTEN A BOOK THAT SPEAKS FOR EVERYONE. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE TO OFFER. WITHOUT BEING JUDGED BY APPEARANCE OR DIFFERENCES. BEING A BIG BEAUTY ALL MY LIFE I COULD SO RELATE TO EVERYTHING CAMRYN WROTE ABOUT ON THE ROAD TO SELF-ACCEPTANCE. WITH EVERY PAGE I READ AND EVERY HILL CAMRYN CLIMBED; I FELT HER PAIN. THE PAIN FROM BEING PERSECUTED FOR YOUR WEIGHT IS ALWAYS RIGHT AT THE SURFACE. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS TO A MAN THAT LOVES ME AT ANY WEIGHT. I STILL AM TRYING TO LOVE MYSELF. CAMRYNS' BOOK EMPOWERS US ALL TO TAKE A HOLD OF OUR DESTINY AND NOT LET ANYONE STAND IN THE WAY. YOU GO GIRL!!!
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Anonymous

Posted March 6, 2000

GREAT Book!!

This book was a refreashing view on life. I found it great to find someone so secure about themselves to write a book like this. Camryn really seems to have benifited from writing this book, and I definately benefited from reading it. It gave me new how hope for gaining confidence in myself the way I am. I loved this book!!!!
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Anonymous

Posted December 11, 1999

HA-HA

This is a funny book about people who wake up and they realize that their fat. This gives info on how to lose weight but also is funny while that process is going. I think this book encourages to wake up and get skinny!
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Wake Up, I'm Fat!

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This Truely Is For All The Fat Girls

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE!!!

GREAT Book!!

HA-HA