Waldo Chicken Wakes the Dead: A Murder Mystery of Unusual Proportions

Overview

Constable (Connie) O'Toole is a cartoonist with the not-so-unusual habit of talking to his cartoon characters, Waldo (a fat, pompous walrus) and the Chicken (a harried hen permanently roosting on Waldo's head) - but Waldo and the Chicken have a habit of talking back! Together they make the neighborhood's best detective team, until the skull of Becky Sawyer is found, then Connie and Waldo Chicken must use every skill they have to solve a mystery that might take them beyond the ...
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King, David 2004 Trade paperback New. Trade paperback (US). Glued binding. 293 p. Contains: Illustrations, black & white. Audience: General/trade.

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Overview

Constable (Connie) O'Toole is a cartoonist with the not-so-unusual habit of talking to his cartoon characters, Waldo (a fat, pompous walrus) and the Chicken (a harried hen permanently roosting on Waldo's head) - but Waldo and the Chicken have a habit of talking back! Together they make the neighborhood's best detective team, until the skull of Becky Sawyer is found, then Connie and Waldo Chicken must use every skill they have to solve a mystery that might take them beyond the grave!
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Constable (Connie) O'Toole is a cartoonist with the not-so-unusual habit of talking to his cartoon characters, Waldo (a fat, pompous walrus) and the Chicken (a harried hen permanently roosting on Waldo's head) — but Waldo and the Chicken have a habit of talking back! Together they make the neighborhood's best detective team, until the skull of Becky Sawyer is found, then Connie and Waldo Chicken must use every skill they have to solve a mystery that might take them beyond the grave!

Best Mystery Fiction 2004, The Library Journal

Library Journal
Cartoonist Connie O'Toole babbles incessantly with the "stars" of his weekly cartoon, an opinionated walrus with a chicken permanently nested on his head (weird). Nonetheless, a neighborhood child asks for their help in finding his lost cat. Connie and his long-suffering wife locate the feline in a nearby construction lot, along with a human skull, a ruby earring, and a Waldo Chicken statue, stolen the year before (weirder!). All kinds of colorful plot peregrinations ensue, accompanied by cartoony characters and witty dialog. Essential. Goldsmith lives in Atlanta. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781886249141
  • Publisher: WindRiver Publishing
  • Publication date: 10/15/2004
  • Pages: 296
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.69 (d)

Meet the Author

Alan spent years laboring in the vineyards of Atlanta's advertising community, but never acquired a taste for the wine (much preferring Vodka, instead). He now lives with his wife, a gregarious West Highland Terrier named Percy, and a giant cat named William the Conqueror. There might be two more pestiferous pets, but who'd believe a walrus and a chicken?
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Read an Excerpt

"I don't remember anything!" cackled the Chicken. "I can't

remember anything! It's all too gruesome!"

I could tell the Chicken was going to be of no help. Of course,

being in a coma would not have been a new experience for her.

She was always on the verge of falling into one at the slightest

provocation. But I was concerned about Waldo. He was actually

apologetic, a disposition totally foreign to him. I felt it could not

possibly be healthy for a fat, pompous, know-it-all walrus to be

suffering from such a condition.

"It's okay, Waldo," I said with great sympathy. "It's enough

that you remember being in the hole."

"Constable, you're not being condescending now, are you?"

asked Waldo, suddenly sounding a little more like himself. "That's

my turf, you know."

"No, no, I wasn't being condescending, Waldo. I was just…"

"Look, Constable, I'm going to try to explain a difficult concept

to you. It'll probably be beyond you, but I'll try to put it in

simpleton terms that maybe even you can understand."

I was greatly relieved. Normalcy had returned with a vengeance.

"Go ahead, Waldo. Explain a difficult concept to me," I said

gently.

"Now you're being sarcastic. But I'll ignore that for the time

being," began Waldo. "Now here's the concept. When you allowed

our statue to be kidnapped, what happened to the rest of

us?"

"What do you mean what happened to the rest of you?" I

asked.

"I knew this was going to be difficult," sighed Waldo. "What

I mean is—what happened to the part of us that stays in this

studio of yours. Did we just disappear along with the statue?"

"Uhh—no, of course not, you've never disappeared from this

studio. Although, you were pretty pissed off with me when I told

you the statue was missing."

"I nearly laid an egg!" recalled the Chicken.

"Ah, but that's just the point," said Waldo, ignoring the Chicken.

"We had to be told our statue was missing. We knew what had

happened at the séance but once you let go of us we weren't aware

of anything else that went on that night. We were comatose."

"Well, that's what I was trying to point out." I said. "While

you're in the statue you have to stay in physical contact with me

to—uhh—-well, how should I put it?" I stammered searching for

a tactful way of saying they owed their whole existence to me.

"You can put it where the sun don't shine," said Waldo helpfully,

"because, if you'll recall at the séance, Cluck Head and I

sometimes took our leave of that statue and went off on our own."

"That's right! You did! But, well, where does that get us?"

"I'd say it gets us to the Declaration of Independence."

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Table of Contents

3 Chapter 1 Fighting With Waldo

10 Chapter 2 Waldo's Gut

19 Chapter 3 The Old Cat and the Seashell

26 Chapter 4 Grave Discoveries in the Red Sea

32 Chapter 5 Ask Waldo

38 Chapter 6 Auntie Vie and Her Toys

44 Chapter 7 Chicken and Walrus in a Bag

50 Chapter 8 Witchy-Woman.Com is No More

55 Chapter 9 The Kingfish and the Portable Skull

61 Chapter 10 Heading toward Deep Doo-Doo

69 Chapter 11 Come the Dawn

79 Chapter 12 What Price Virginity?

85 Chapter 13 Of Mice and Predators

99 Chapter 14 Reservations with Sitting Bull

110 Chapter 15 Elvis and the Sea Cows

123 Chapter 16 Desire under the Figs

134 Chapter 17 Waldo's First Séance

146 Chapter 18 Ghosts and Their Hostesses

161 Chapter 19 Abduction, Cremation, and a Vanishing Act

175 Chapter 20 Grave Intuitions

184 Chapter 21 Toys in the Living Room

195 Chapter 22 Expecting Mr. Lon Chaney, Sr.

209 Chapter 23 Party Crashers

221 Chapter 24 Ending with a Bang and a Whimper

227 Chapter 25 Mr. Woo Shadows a Perp

239 Chapter 26 Once Around the Séance Table

250 Chapter 27 Confessions of a Much Beloved Legend

263 Chapter 28 Emotional, Highly Unstable, Extremely Volatile

273 Chapter 29 In Need of a Good Mongoose

286 Chapter 30 Leave Her to the Dead Nudist Colony

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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2005

    Laugh yourself to death.

    A skull has been found. Someone has obviously been murdered. So why are you giggling, chortling and guffawing out loud while drawing disapproving glances from others in the room? Welcome to the the wacky world of Waldo and the Chicken, and their creator, cartoonist Constable 'Connie' O'Toole. In the first of a planned series, Alan Goldsmith lays down the foundation for years of slapstick sleuthing while practically inventing a whole new genre: The laugh-your-a**-off murder mystery. 'Waldo Chicken Wakes the Dead' begins innocently enough. It's no big secret in his Georgia suburb that Connie O'Toole speaks to, argues with and is often humiliated by his own creations, the officious Waldo Walrus and the nervous hen nesting on his head known only as The Chicken. Folks regularly ask Connie to help them recover lost items and pets, a task he accomplishes by conferring with his cantankerous creations. On a day like any other, a neighborhood kid asks him to find Mr. Woo, a male lion in his prime disguised as a house cat, the terror of any four-legged mammal smaller than a Clydesdale and easily capable of having an eagle or two for lunch. Connie accepts the challenge and with the help of his wife Evelyn, they locate the wayward feline and stumble upon evidence of foul play. Normally, this is where things turn grim, dark and depressing, but not when Connie O'Toole is around. Instead, a memorable cast of characters begin to make their entrances, adding even more quirkiness and hilarity to what should be a grave situation. Yes, someone is dead, but while you're trying to figure it out, Goldsmith bombards your funnybone with a nonstop barrage of one-liners, asides and daffy dialog. Hardly a page will go by without at least a grin and at best, laughter to the verge of tears. If you want to spare yourself the embarrassment of laughing in public while trying to solve a murder mystery, use the old schooldays trick of hiding 'Waldo Chicken Wakes the Dead' inside a decoy book, say, Debbie Farmer's equally hilarious 'Don't Put Lipstick On The Cat!', also available from WindRiver Publishing.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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