Wallbanger (Cocktail Series #1)

Wallbanger (Cocktail Series #1)

4.5 933
by Alice Clayton
     
 

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USA TODAY bestselling indie author Alice Clayton delights readers with the sexy, laugh-out-loud romance of Caroline and Simon in Wallbanger, the first book in the Cocktail series!

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an—um—intimate knowledge of her new neighbor

Overview

USA TODAY bestselling indie author Alice Clayton delights readers with the sexy, laugh-out-loud romance of Caroline and Simon in Wallbanger, the first book in the Cocktail series!

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an—um—intimate knowledge of her new neighbor’s nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy’s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed “dating hiatus,” and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly…

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Aiming for silly, sarcastic, witty, and hot, Clayton’s clumsy contemporary, inexplicably popular in its 2012 digital edition, misses the mark and comes off as ridiculous, immature, and irritating. Caroline’s first night in her new apartment is interrupted in the early hours by the moaning and thumping coming from the other side of the wall. Caroline has a great job as a designer; two best friends who are caricatures of disempowered, desperate young women obsessed with sex and drinking; and a KitchenAid mixer. Her only problem in life? “O,” her missing orgasm (she named it, as she nicknames just about everything else, including her neighbor Wallbanger and his girlfriends, Spanx, Purina, and Giggler). Her quest for O involves endless attempted witticisms, text message transcriptions, and behavior so juvenile and “beyond ridiculous” that even the characters admit they sound like fourth graders. Agent: Pamela Harty, Knight Agency. (Aug.)

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781476741185
Publisher:
Gallery Books
Publication date:
08/13/2013
Series:
Cocktail Series, #1
Edition description:
Original
Pages:
384
Sales rank:
37,238
Product dimensions:
5.42(w) x 8.06(h) x 0.98(d)

Meet the Author

Alice Clayton worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read: laptop). She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her. And she finally got her Bernese Mountain Dog.

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Wallbanger 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 933 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
There’s almost nothing in this world that I love more than laughing out loud while reading a book. I did that over and over while reading Wallbanger. Alice knows just how to intermingle hilarious situations with crazy monkey sex without making me feel uncomfortable for laughing at a sexy book. Wallbanger is a Smut Book Club MUST MUST read for fans of a well-written story, well-crafted characters who make you warm in your belly and laugh out loud.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So funny and engaging! I almost did not buy this book because of its title. But am I glad I did! I don't usually laugh reading books, but this one cracked me up from beginning to end. The dialogs are so fresh and funny that you feel as if you are part of them, like the way you would talk to your girlfriends or the friend next door. The jokes don't get old or tiring. And the continuous banter between the characters is critical to the storyline and the development of this beautiful love story that starts in the most unconventional way: the woman meeting the man that wakes her up every night with his steamy sexual encounters (he is the 'wallbanger'). This book does not disappoint!
calwen More than 1 year ago
Wallbanger is quite funny and enjoyable story. Main theme of the story is heroine's unsuccessful sex life and her frustration with the fact that she cannot change it while her neighbour is enjoying his harem girls reguraly and loudly... Besides the sexual frustration of main heroine, the level of angst is quite low, so it was light read for me. From time to time I just need to switch off and not think during the book, and Wallbanger gave me exactly that. Caroline had great sense of humour and it kept me intrigued through out the whole story. If you are in mood for some funny and easy reading, go for this one.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I cant believe how many times I literally caught myself looking around to see if my laughter had drawn attention to myself. What a good book, wish the author had more like this one!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am only 30 pages in and have already laughed and bonded with the characters! I will read every word i can find from this author! Note, not for prudes. Delisciously entertaining. Now back to reading this treasure! Highly recommend!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Laughed out loud so many times. Loved Caroline's inner monologue. Funny and filled with sexual tension - what more could you ask for? Most enjoyable book I have read recently. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Oh my gosh. Read this as a Twilight fanfiction a few years back. It's been published! Crazy. Really funny, though. Clever.
J-J- More than 1 year ago
Started reading this late last night, and I am not even finished but I LOVE this book. Hopefully I wont get caught reading it at work... but I CAN NOT put it down!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved, loved, loved this book! Lots of humor, and great characters. Please write more books about Caroline, Simon and Clive!!! Want to see what happens next. This is a must read for anyone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was really skeptical about this book because of the title, but I kept seeing it. After reading the reviews I thought why not. OmG I literally LOL'ed! Im already lending this book to my bff who will def get a kick out of it!
RomanticReadingEscapes1 More than 1 year ago
"You're gonna wanna hold on for this."  I loved The Redhead Series from Alice Clayton, but she has far surpassed those wonderful reads with Wallbanger.  I can't remember the last time I giggled and wore that silly looking grin for so long after reading a book.  I actually guffawed and snorted several times while reading.  This book is just out right fun!  I truly wish I could quote the entire book here!  It is that funny! I am SO crushing on Simon right now.  Simon is so real...from his burps to his sense of humor to his sadness.  He enjoys the company of females, and he knows exactly how to bring it home....one thump at a time.  With his harem of Spanx, Purina, and Giggler to keep him company, he never expected a pretty girl in a pink nightie to come banging on his door in the middle of the night, putting an end to the howling meows from Purina before they ever get started.  What he really didn't expect was to develop a deep friendship and more with someone he never knew he was looking for. Caroline is the center of a threesome of friends who share everything, including counseling for her long suffering. Caroline has lost her O.  Not just any O.  The BIG O.  Loss of O and lack of sleep do not make for a happy girl.  So, although she is mildly entertained with the wallbanging and excitement from the other side of her bedroom wall, she reaches that point when enough is enough.  She decides it's time to take a stand and do a little banging of her own....on Simon's door.  But once she finally catches sight of Simon,  he begins to invade her every thought...and dream.  What Caroline doesn't realize is that thin walls work both ways.  If she can hear Simon, then Simon can hear Caroline...and her dreams...of HIM!  Yes, that is embarrassing, but Caroline can take out her frustration and embarrassment on her bread dough - punching and kneading, and thanks to the Barefoot Contessa, the old cliche proves to be true.  The way to a man's heart really is through his stomach.  All it takes is a little zuchini bread and the wooing can commence.  And Simon gives good woo! I loved everything about this book.  From the inner monologues to the witty dialogue, this is THE book to read this year.  The funny and quirky side characters just add to the charm of the two main characters, and I have to mention Clive.  Clive is the kitty with swagger and attitude.    Wallbanger has easily become one of my favorite books of the year.  I really enjoyed the truce and friendship that developed between Simon and Caroline, building up to the relationship they both want but continue to deny.  Although it takes a while for the relationship to build, don't give up on it; just sit back and enjoy the banter.  The slow build up makes the sexy all the sweeter.  With an unending supply of innuendos, an attraction for baked goods, a humanistic feline, and a wonderful group of friends, Caroline and Simon begin to work toward the perfect friendship, leading to the perfect relationship.  This is not a steamy and erotic read, but it bleeds sexy.  Dare I say it?  Yes, I dare!  This is one that is on the MUST read shelf for anyone who wants to giggle, snort, and grin the silliest of grins for a long time after finishing the book.  Sometimes, when you don't expect it,  the thing you've always looked for is staring you right in the face.   <=== That thing is Wallbanger!  Get it...read it...NOW!
WhiteFalls More than 1 year ago
This book made me laugh the whole way through. One of the best books EVER! I love the carachters in this book (Simon, Caroline, and especially Clive). I would definitely recommend this book to anyone and everyone!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Wow! Where can I start? I guess I'll begin by saying I was very excited to read this book. It sounded so good and all the reviews seemed very promising, and let me tell you IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT! I absolutely loved it. This was my first read by Alice Clayton, and this story completely captivated and intrigued me from the very first page and it kept me completely captivated and intrigiued up until the very last! As the reader I felt very connected to the main character, I felt her frustration, her passion, her anger... and I have never laughed more reading a romance! I think my boyfriend at times thought I was losing my mind at how often I laughed out loud, while sitting in my little nook in the corner of the couch, lost in the amazing story I was reading. Ms. Clayton has such a brilliant writing style and I highly recommend this book! Like I said it does not disappoint. I can't wait to try out another one of Alice Clayton's books! 5 stars all around!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The story was meant to be funny and sexy but for me it was like a high school girls daydream after seeing Twilight movies. The attemt at humor was foolish and not funny. The character's sex life was completely silly and over the top. I could not recommend this book to friends.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love this hilarious book! One of the funniest books I have ever read!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved the story. It felt good to have a book that gave me tears as well as a good laugh. Very well written.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
At times the characters dialogue and scenes were unbearably immature.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this author!!!! Glad I bought her books. love the humor
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Okay...this was funny. To the reviewer who thought it was juvenile i say...hah! If you want a serious, uber traditional romance then this is not for you. But if you want some lighthearted enjoyment go ahead and buy. You'll enoy the witty reparte between the H/h and the heroine's search for her O. Yeah...that O.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
First let me say that i think this is a really funny book. I found myself laughing alot. I also liked the characters of this book and the story itself. That being said the book tended to drag alot. I found that i was skimming through alot of the ending. It was nice however to read a book that had an ending and you didnt have to buy the next in the series to know what happens.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Alice clayton does it again. Loved as much as the redhead books. Nothing i live more than funny, loveable characters.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Highly recommended! OMG! LMAO!
Tudon1 More than 1 year ago
All I can say about this book is that I loved it! The author developed the characters in such a way that you loved them all. Even the cast of supporting characters. I love that the author infused humor with her love story. I would definitely recommend Wallbanger to anyone looking for a spicy romance with a sweep of humor throughout.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fun read and great. Can I have a sequal please. Loved it..
Jetches More than 1 year ago
Absolutely laugh out loud awesome! Laugh-out-loud hilarity. After I finished with this book I leant it to my friend and she said she couldn’t read it at work anymore because she was laughing too much. That is the beauty and magnificence that is Alice Clayton’s writing. I found myself along the same lines. I read this bad-boy under 24 hours because I just couldn’t stop. I. Could. Not. Put. It. Down. The beautiful (I say that was a largely sarcastic undertone) words that come out of both Simone and Caroline’s mouth were like music to my ears. Their words were constant back and forth sexual banter. And, oh my did I find my ears read sometimes. This is the kind of novel that you laugh a little, read some more, get up walk to the kitchen for a tall cold glass of water, and then run and jump onto your bed and hold the words to your eyes as you bounce around. Then after not moving you look up and realize three hours has passed and you wish you could have Simone playing music to you through your thin walls. I smile even know thinking about Simone. The book is filled mounds and mound of craziness, but the sarcastic humour and all-around flirtatious jokes that Caroline and Simone pass between each other mad my day, week, and year. But, it wasn’t just the humour (although that is what definitely sinked it as favourite of mine) the story line was awesome. I can understand neighbours having a sexual attraction to one another, but when you don’t even know his name and simply refer to him as Wallbanger? Man, it was an awesome introduction, and Simone definitely has cool points for it. Then of course throw in a cat who thinks he is human and is searching for his one true love and I’m done like Thanksgiving Turkey. This book (which I currently own as an ebook) shall soon he donning my top shelf, where I house all my favourite books, gaining a place of honour among a few others. If you haven’t already learnt by this review that you should be out there purchasing this book than I will plain and simple tell you: Get. Your. Hands. On. A. Copy. Of. Wallbanger. End of conversation. Good: Caroline—The things that come out of your mouth…they are delicious like your baking. Simone—the fact that a man can be so heart broken over home made bread almost made my heart break. Everything else about you, and then realizing that you were not real did make my heart break. You minx you. Clive—If only I could spend a day in your presence my life would be complete. Bad:  Nothing—Although at times I felt that it was actually Caroline preventing the relationship from going further, not Simone. Shocker, I know. Overall (Writing style, story line, and general): Overall this book was fantastic. The writing was exceptional and the way the humour, whether it was corny or not, worked its ways perfectly into the story make my jaw ache from smiling so much. The story line was unique to me as it was like nothing I had ever really read (alright yes I’ve read the whole best friends become lover stuff, but everything else makes it all different). Alice Clayton had my fingers aching from gripping my KOBO so hard, my eyes straining from reading well past midnight, and my back aching from sitting in random positions—all because I couldn’t put her book down. Scratch that. I didn’t want to. Whenever you are reading to release your next book Alice I will be ready to read it.