Wallbanger (Cocktail Series #1) [NOOK Book]

Overview

A bestselling hot, hilarious eBook by USA TODAY indie author Alice Clayton, the freshest voice to hit publishing in years. “An instant classic…highly recommended!” (New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Jennifer Probst).

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a Kitchen Aid mixer to die for, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the ...
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Wallbanger (Cocktail Series #1)

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NOOK Book (eBook)
$7.99
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Overview

A bestselling hot, hilarious eBook by USA TODAY indie author Alice Clayton, the freshest voice to hit publishing in years. “An instant classic…highly recommended!” (New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Jennifer Probst).

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a Kitchen Aid mixer to die for, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, she also has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Every moan, spank, and—was that a meow?—punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has—yep, you guessed it—no O. Enter Simon Parker. When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has…well…mixed results. Because with walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick. A delicious mix of silly and steamy, this is an irresistible tale of exasperation at first sight.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Aiming for silly, sarcastic, witty, and hot, Clayton’s clumsy contemporary, inexplicably popular in its 2012 digital edition, misses the mark and comes off as ridiculous, immature, and irritating. Caroline’s first night in her new apartment is interrupted in the early hours by the moaning and thumping coming from the other side of the wall. Caroline has a great job as a designer; two best friends who are caricatures of disempowered, desperate young women obsessed with sex and drinking; and a KitchenAid mixer. Her only problem in life? “O,” her missing orgasm (she named it, as she nicknames just about everything else, including her neighbor Wallbanger and his girlfriends, Spanx, Purina, and Giggler). Her quest for O involves endless attempted witticisms, text message transcriptions, and behavior so juvenile and “beyond ridiculous” that even the characters admit they sound like fourth graders. Agent: Pamela Harty, Knight Agency. (Aug.)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781476741260
  • Publisher: Gallery Books
  • Publication date: 2/14/2013
  • Series: Cocktail Series , #1
  • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 1,711
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

After working for years in the cosmetics industry as a makeup artist, esthetician, and educator, Alice Clayton picked up a pen (read laptop) for the first time at age thirty-three to begin a new career as author. Having never written anything longer than a grocery list, she soon found writing to be the creative outlet she’d been missing since walking away from the theater ten years earlier. She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up after, and is trying desperately to get her long-time boyfriend to make her an honest woman—and also to buy her a Bernese Mountain dog.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 897 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(636)

4 Star

(169)

3 Star

(48)

2 Star

(16)

1 Star

(28)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 897 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 1, 2012

    Wallbanger is quite funny and enjoyable story. Main theme of the

    Wallbanger is quite funny and enjoyable story. Main theme of the story is heroine's unsuccessful sex life and her frustration with the fact that she cannot change it while her neighbour is enjoying his harem girls reguraly and loudly... Besides the sexual frustration of main heroine, the level of angst is quite low, so it was light read for me. From time to time I just need to switch off and not think during the book, and Wallbanger gave me exactly that. Caroline had great sense of humour and it kept me intrigued through out the whole story.

    If you are in mood for some funny and easy reading, go for this one.

    23 out of 27 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2012

    A Smut Book Club MUST-Read

    There’s almost nothing in this world that I love more than laughing out loud while reading a book. I did that over and over while reading Wallbanger. Alice knows just how to intermingle hilarious situations with crazy monkey sex without making me feel uncomfortable for laughing at a sexy book.

    Wallbanger is a Smut Book Club MUST MUST read for fans of a well-written story, well-crafted characters who make you warm in your belly and laugh out loud.

    23 out of 25 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 3, 2012

    So funny and engaging! I almost did not buy this book because of

    So funny and engaging!
    I almost did not buy this book because of its title. But am I glad I did! I don't usually laugh reading books, but this one cracked me up from beginning to end. The dialogs are so fresh and funny that you feel as if you are part of them, like the way you would talk to your girlfriends or the friend next door. The jokes don't get old or tiring. And the continuous banter between the characters is critical to the storyline and the development of this beautiful love story that starts in the most unconventional way: the woman meeting the man that wakes her up every night with his steamy sexual encounters (he is the 'wallbanger'). This book does not disappoint!

    19 out of 20 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 2, 2012

    Laugh out loud funny

    I cant believe how many times I literally caught myself looking around to see if my laughter had drawn attention to myself. What a good book, wish the author had more like this one!

    17 out of 19 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2012

    Nookaddict

    I am only 30 pages in and have already laughed and bonded with the characters! I will read every word i can find from this author! Note, not for prudes. Delisciously entertaining. Now back to reading this treasure! Highly recommend!

    13 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2012

    Oh my gosh. Read this as a Twilight fanfiction a few years back.

    Oh my gosh. Read this as a Twilight fanfiction a few years back. It's been published! Crazy. Really funny, though. Clever.

    13 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2013

    BULLSHIT

    I just payed 7.99 for a book not even a book considering that i only got 4 pages and 2 of them are to sign up to a website. Waste of money complete bull.

    10 out of 40 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2012

    Laughed out loud so many times. Loved Caroline's inner monologue

    Laughed out loud so many times. Loved Caroline's inner monologue. Funny and filled with sexual tension - what more could you ask for? Most enjoyable book I have read recently. 

    10 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 3, 2012

    Loved, loved, loved this book! Lots of humor, and great characte

    Loved, loved, loved this book! Lots of humor, and great characters. Please write more books about Caroline, Simon and Clive!!! Want to see what happens next. This is a must read for anyone.

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 10, 2012

    Started reading this late last night, and I am not even finished

    Started reading this late last night, and I am not even finished but I LOVE this book. Hopefully I wont get caught reading it at work... but I CAN NOT put it down!

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 18, 2013

    Would love to read it!!

    I just bought this for 7.99 and it goes from page 4 straight to 294 so basically the whole book is missing in between! When I try to go back with the go to tab the whole book closes. What a waste!

    7 out of 27 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2013

    Eh...

    So I decided to read this book after it kept showing up with other books I read and enjoyed. And the several good reviewed. I am so disappointed. There was chemistry between Simon and Caroline but none of the comical relief that was expected. I found the book flat and predictable. I only finished it hoping it would get better. It didn't. The jumping from character prespectives was something that seemed to disrupt whatever flow the story managed to establish. I feel there could have been a better way to convey the infomation then throwing in text conversations into the story that were sometimes hard to follow. There was wasn't anything exciting or humorous in this story for me. I found the writing style confusing and leaving much to be desired.

    5 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2013

    It's not opening

    Please help. Purchased this book because of good reviews. So disappointed when about to read and it won't open.

    4 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 20, 2013

    No book?

    I also paid $7.99 for this book, but it jumps from page 4 to the end of the story. Was really looking forward to reading this. Fix this B&N!

    4 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2013

    Oh my goodness!

    Wow! Where can I start? I guess I'll begin by saying I was very excited to read this book. It sounded so good and all the reviews seemed very promising, and let me tell you IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT! I absolutely loved it. This was my first read by Alice Clayton, and this story completely captivated and intrigued me from the very first page and it kept me completely captivated and intrigiued up until the very last! As the reader I felt very connected to the main character, I felt her frustration, her passion, her anger... and I have never laughed more reading a romance! I think my boyfriend at times thought I was losing my mind at how often I laughed out loud, while sitting in my little nook in the corner of the couch, lost in the amazing story I was reading. Ms. Clayton has such a brilliant writing style and I highly recommend this book! Like I said it does not disappoint. I can't wait to try out another one of Alice Clayton's books! 5 stars all around!

    4 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 1, 2013

    Omg

    I was really skeptical about this book because of the title, but I kept seeing it. After reading the reviews I thought why not. OmG I literally LOL'ed! Im already lending this book to my bff who will def get a kick out of it!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 29, 2012

    Trashy

    I like a good romantic erotic a but this was written so badly. What's with these so called authors who can't write worth a crap. One star cause I had too ........

    4 out of 22 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 20, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    "You're gonna wanna hold on for this."  I loved The Re

    "You're gonna wanna hold on for this."  I loved The Redhead Series from Alice Clayton, but she has far surpassed those wonderful reads with Wallbanger.  I can't remember the last time I giggled and wore that silly looking grin for so long after reading a book.  I actually guffawed and snorted several times while reading.  This book is just out right fun!  I truly wish I could quote the entire book here!  It is that funny!




    I am SO crushing on Simon right now.  Simon is so real...from his burps to his sense of humor to his sadness.  He enjoys the company of females, and he knows exactly how to bring it home....one thump at a time.  With his harem of Spanx, Purina, and Giggler to keep him company, he never expected a pretty girl in a pink nightie to come banging on his door in the middle of the night, putting an end to the howling meows from Purina before they ever get started.  What he really didn't expect was to develop a deep friendship and more with someone he never knew he was looking for.

    Caroline is the center of a threesome of friends who share everything, including counseling for her long suffering. Caroline has lost her O.  Not just any O.  The BIG O.  Loss of O and lack of sleep do not make for a happy girl.  So, although she is mildly entertained with the wallbanging and excitement from the other side of her bedroom wall, she reaches that point when enough is enough.  She decides it's time to take a stand and do a little banging of her own....on Simon's door.  But once she finally catches sight of Simon,  he begins to invade her every thought...and dream.  What Caroline doesn't realize is that thin walls work both ways.  If she can hear Simon, then Simon can hear Caroline...and her dreams...of HIM!  Yes, that is embarrassing, but Caroline can take out her frustration and embarrassment on her bread dough - punching and kneading, and thanks to the Barefoot Contessa, the old cliche proves to be true.  The way to a man's heart really is through his stomach.  All it takes is a little zuchini bread and the wooing can commence.  And Simon gives good woo!

    I loved everything about this book.  From the inner monologues to the witty dialogue, this is THE book to read this year.  The funny and quirky side characters just add to the charm of the two main characters, and I have to mention Clive.  Clive is the kitty with swagger and attitude.    Wallbanger has easily become one of my favorite books of the year.  I really enjoyed the truce and friendship that developed between Simon and Caroline, building up to the relationship they both want but continue to deny.  Although it takes a while for the relationship to build, don't give up on it; just sit back and enjoy the banter.  The slow build up makes the sexy all the sweeter. 

    With an unending supply of innuendos, an attraction for baked goods, a humanistic feline, and a wonderful group of friends, Caroline and Simon begin to work toward the perfect friendship, leading to the perfect relationship.  This is not a steamy and erotic read, but it bleeds sexy.  Dare I say it?  Yes, I dare!  This is one that is on the MUST read shelf for anyone who wants to giggle, snort, and grin the silliest of grins for a long time after finishing the book.  Sometimes, when you don't expect it,  the thing you've always looked for is staring you right in the face.   <=== That thing is Wallbanger!  Get it...read it...NOW!

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2013

    Where is the rest of my book?

    I was so excited when I found this book, but I paid 7.99 for a website sign up page and the table of contents. Why was the rest of the book missing and what can be done to correct this? Very disappointed!

    3 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 10, 2012

    This book made me laugh the whole way through. One of the best

    This book made me laugh the whole way through. One of the best books EVER! I love the carachters in this book (Simon, Caroline, and especially Clive). I would definitely recommend this book to anyone and everyone!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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