Whale Season

( 4 )


One Christmas Eve, Whale Harbor is visited by a man who thinks he’s Jesus and claims to be looking for a game of poker. But, as usual, things are not quite what they seem. Having some version of the Lord in town for his birthday creates a strange effect on the locals: unlikely couples are breaking up and making up and making out; a luxury mobile home that belonged to an elderly couple from New Jersey (until they disappeared after a run-in with “the Lord”) is won by a down-on-his-luck gambler in an unbelievable ...

See more details below
Audiobook (MP3 - Unabridged)
BN.com price
(Save 17%)$17.50 List Price
Whale Season

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
BN.com price
This digital version does not exactly match the physical book displayed here.


One Christmas Eve, Whale Harbor is visited by a man who thinks he’s Jesus and claims to be looking for a game of poker. But, as usual, things are not quite what they seem. Having some version of the Lord in town for his birthday creates a strange effect on the locals: unlikely couples are breaking up and making up and making out; a luxury mobile home that belonged to an elderly couple from New Jersey (until they disappeared after a run-in with “the Lord”) is won by a down-on-his-luck gambler in an unbelievable hand of poker; the area’s most well-known and long-forgotten tourist attraction is rising up from a hole in the ground; and a gun no one has used in years is suddenly in hot demand. In the steamy climes of southern Florida, you take your miracles where you can get them—and if that means being led to salvation by a schizophrenic with a rap sheet, so be it. In the rollicking tradition of Carl Hiaasen’s Tourist Season, with the heart of Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegon, and peopled by the kind of colorful characters who would be quite at home in any Tom Robbins novel, N. M. Kelby’s Whale Season is a sharp and funny novel made up of equal parts comic adventure and serial-killer inspired mayhem.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
A late-night Christmas Eve card game with a Jesus impersonator triggers misadventures galore in Kelby's screwball comedy with a dark side. In the dinky town of Whale Season, a faded (and whale-free) Florida tourist trap, various citizens mull over the lows life's brought them to. Sheriff Trot Jeeter and his best friend/oldest rival, Leon, a used RV salesman, form a love square with Carlotta, Leon's erstwhile girlfriend, and Dagmar, the owner of a local strip club and Leon's ex-wife (Trot loves them both, but Carlotta most). After winning a luxury RV from "Jesus" in poker, Leon gets drunk and burns down his trailer; everyone figures he's dead. Meanwhile, Jesus (who's really a serial killer named Dr. Ricardo Garcia) has decided that Jimmy Ray (a musician at Dagmar's club-and likely her father) will be his next victim. The nonstop comedy jives weirdly with the characters' backstories and the threat of grisly murder, best exemplified during a scene in which Jesus vows to give Jimmy "the Hallmark Card of Death," Jimmy finally acknowledges his paternity and everyone, weeping with joy, decides to eat French toast. Shaggy, silly, a little bit soggy-but as a holiday diversion, this is mighty good fun. (It's also a big shift for Kelby, who, writing as Nicole Kelby, offered up the luminous, haunting In the Company of Angels in 2001.) (Jan.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Library Journal
There is a land referred to by its residents as "heaven's waiting room" where the sunsets are as pink as a flamingo's rear end (or Pepto-Bismol). Yes, it's Florida, and Kelby (In the Company of Angels) proves there is indeed room for yet another Florida novel populated by zanies. The novel opens on Christmas day as Leon Pettit plays cards with a man claiming to be Jesus. At stake is an RV with all the trimmings that costs considerably more than a couple of doublewides. Leon wins, but he's convinced that it's the start of another bad day, since all the luck he's had in his life so far could be crammed comfortably into the tight jeans of the girl he's currently dating. And, sure enough, it turns out that Jesus is actually Dr. Ricardo Garcia, a Cuban/Polish doctor on a killing spree; or, as he likes to think of it, giving folks a leg up on salvation. Kelby manages to make the Florida shtick seem fresh and overlays it with a patina of spiritual yearning in a cross between the work of Carl Hiaasen and Christopher Moore. For all larger public libraries. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 9/15/05.]-Bob Lunn, Kansas City P.L., MO Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Here's the wacky, tacky premise: A Jesus-impersonating serial killer rampages through Florida strip clubs and gator swamps. Kelby, who previously wrote sober novels revolving around World War II (Theater of the Stars, 2003, etc.), delivers black humor that sizzles. A cartoon Crime and Punishment in "Margaritaville," the book stars a sandal-shod, sheet-clad drifter calling himself "Jesus" who loses the American Dream in a poker game with Leon, a used-car dealer. The Dream, all gleaming chrome and glossy leatherette, is the world's most magnificent trailer, and its new owner, while festooning Christmas lights in its lush interior, catches fire as the big rig explodes. Or so the citizenry of Whale Harbor, one truly funky tourist trap, believes. Actually Leon has slunk out and disappeared. Burned but not cooked, he crawls to a hospital. There, convalescing, he's attacked by killer bees who buzz in through a window. His mind full of morphine, he hallucinates. The staff, overhearing his weird dreams and marveling at the hive that soon bedecks his bandaged head, dubs Leon "Bee-Jesus," and a desperate crowd lines up, expecting miracles. All the while, the first "Jesus" is on the lam and planning his 13th homicide. He's really Ricardo Gomez, a deranged Polish/Cuban former M.D. who sees murder as an act of mercy. Anyone he feels deserving either of blessing or of curse earns from him one savage ticket to the hereafter, in the form of poison or long knives. Along with "Jesus" and "Bee-Jesus," there are terrific mock-archetypal characters: the Legendary Bluesman, the Titty Bar Madonna, the Buff-But-Tender sheriff. And there's enough mad plot to hook most anyone. Deep-fried strangeness.
From the Publisher
Praise for Whale Season

Whale Season is purely delightful—rich, clever, and crawling with affectionately twisted characters. Nicole Kelby is a natural-born storyteller who manages to be very funny and very wise at the same time.” —Carl Hiaasen

“Kelby has created a crazy-quilt of unforgettable characters. You won’t find whales in Whale Harbor but you will find ancient bluesmen, alligators in Minnie Pearl hats, sexy strip club owners with dreams of franchising, floundering RV salesmen, and the wackiest serial killer in modern fiction. Strap yourself in, it’s one helluva ride.” —J. A. Konrath, author of Bloody Mary

“Poignant, hilarious, and melancholy, N. M. Kelby’s strikingly entertaining novel feels like being on a theme park ride with Carl Hiaasen as tour guide. This is the real deal.” —Will Staeger, bestselling author of Painkiller

Praise for N. M. Kelby’s Previous Work

“Kelby’s lovely language fuses sensuous specificity with metaphoric resonance. . . . To paraphrase and summarize such fine-spun fiction must inevitably be as inadequate as any attempt to retell your most amazing dream the morning after.” —New York Times Book Review

“Luscious and heartrending . . . overflows with miracles.” —Atlantic Monthly

From the Hardcover edition.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781415927885
  • Publisher: Random House Audio Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 1/29/2008
  • Format: MP3
  • Edition description: Unabridged
  • Ships to U.S.and APO/FPO addresses only.

Meet the Author

N. M. Kelby spent twenty years as a print and television journalist before she began writing novels. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

From the Hardcover edition.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

There are no whales in Whale Harbor, Florida. Never have been. The town was named during the Civil War as a way to lure Union soldiers looking for food and oil. It worked. So the name stuck.

But there are no whales.

Still, for many years, people came to whale watch. Some even thought they saw them. Blue whales, southern rights, humpback, killer, beaked, and beluga-as the subtropical temperatures rose, all manners of sightings, aided by tour guides offering free beer, were imagined in great detail. Written about in travel magazines.

But there are no whales.

Never have been.

This is why historians identify Whale Harbor as America's first tourist trap.

So those who come to this particular thicket of Florida's coast usually fall into two categories-the bushwhacked and the dreamers. Those who stay are both.

It's Christmas Eve and most of the town is at The Pink drinking eggnog schnapps. It's two for the price of one, in honor of the holiday. The jukebox is cranked, full volume. Jimmy Buffet asks, "How'd you like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?" Nobody answers. Shot glasses surround hunched shoulders like picket fences.

The Pink's an all-purpose place. Up front, you can still buy bread and milk. Moon Pies, two for a buck. In the back, at the bar, you can still get your heart broken. Leadbelly whistles and jingles the blues. Christmas lights blink all year long across the tarpaper walls.

Right now, Leon should be there buying a round for Carlotta. She's been waiting for him for an hour, or more. Her tongue is white from the schnapps, and fuzzy. But he's not there. She looks at her watch again, the fourth time in ten minutes. Orders another round.

Bender pours the drinks in two deft streams. Schnapps arches like a waterfall. An impressive sight. Bender owns the place. He's also mayor. Hawkeyed and thin, in his early fifties, his spiky gray hair is dyed red and green for the holiday. It's a seasonal habit of his. At Easter, he'll go purple. He slides the two shot glasses in front of Carlotta. Tops them off with whipped cream and sprinkles that match his hair.

Carlotta looks up. "Thanks-"

And then he barks a noble clear bark. "Scottish terrier," he explains. Turns away before Carlotta has a chance to ask why he's impersonating a small hunting dog.

Most know not to ask.

Carlotta is new in town. She doesn't know anyone, but they all know her. At least, they know who she is: she's Leon's girl. That's the reason Sheriff Trot Jeeter is sitting three stools away and trying hard not to stare. But it is difficult. She's single. He's single. And, in the dim light of The Pink, Carlotta has a 1940s Veronica Lake kind of glamour. Boozy. Sultry. Bored. Her thick hair is carefully parted to one side, covers half her face. Trot can't take his eyes off her.

Of course, that's not surprising. He's forty-one years old. If he doesn't get married soon he'll have to get a dog-one that barks a lot. Scottish terrier sounds pretty good right about now.

The problem with Sheriff Trot Jeeter is not that he's unattractive. He's just unremarkable. Average height, average weight, average build-you couldn't pick him out of a lineup if you had to. Through the years he's grown comfortable in his absolute lack of distinction, the unnerving way he sometimes fades from memory while he's still in the room. And so, out of habit, his eyes never make contact, always seem to be...

Read More Show Less

Reading Group Guide


In this wacky, laugh-out-loud comedy with a dark side, a serial killer who believes he is Jesus arrives in the small town of Whale Harbor, Florida, on Christmas Eve. In rapid succession, the down-but-not-out gambler Leon bets it all on the American Dream (a giant, brand-spanking-new recreational vehicle, of course), strip-club owner Dagmar gets her blues-playing Buddhist father Jimmy Ray to admit his paternity, and a drunk and celebratory Leon accidentally sets his home ablaze, leading everyone to believe he’s dead. Add in a mayor who dies his hair with Jell-O, a sheriff whose mom still buys his underwear, and a psychopath in a loincloth, and you have the perfect recipe for murder and mayhem–Florida-style.

This guide is designed to help you direct your reading group’s discussion of N.M. Kelby’s delightfully screwball novel Whale Season.


1) The book offers a veritable panoply of vibrant, strange, and original characters. Who is your favorite character, and why?

2) Many fantastic and outrageous events occur in Whale Season. Do you feel the story is more of a farce or an allegory? Are there any myths, legends, or tales the book brings to mind?

3) How did you feel about Leon when he was first introduced? Did you find his character sympathetic? Did your feelings about him change as the story progressed? Why or why not?

4) Doctor/Jesus is often referred to as having “bible eyes.” What do you think this phrase means?

5) Why do you think Jimmy Ray and Dagmar had never discussed the possibility that they were related before Doctor/Jesus came to town?

6) “Everybody’s got to have a moral code,” Leon asserts (page 61). This seems to be true for many of Whale Harbor’s residents. As a used RV salesman, Leon’s code of honor is “ignorance is bliss.” Contrast the morals of Jimmy Ray, Leon, Trot, Dagmar, and Doctor/Jesus. Who seems best served by their personal world view?

7) “Florida is heaven’s waiting room.” (page 41) “Jesus is everywhere in Florida. It’s as if it’s his winter headquarters.” (page 8) Does the author have a love/hate relationship with the state of Florida? Could this book have taken place anywhere else and retained the same feeling?

8) What does the lack of whales in Whale Harbor symbolize to you? Do you believe their appearance at the novel’s end is real?

9) “You stopped to pick me up because you want to believe in miracles; that’s not such a bad thing,” Doctor/Jesus says to Dagmar (page 70). It seems that everyone in Whale Harbor is more than willing to accept the presence of a man who thinks he is Jesus at Christmas–even a Jesus that kind-of gives them the creeps. Why do you think that is?

10) Religion and belief play a huge role in the novel. Do you think religion–both as a concept and a practice–is treated with respect or disrespect here?

11) Dagmar inherited the Dream Caf? from her uncle. She says she doesn’t have the stomach for the business and yet turned the caf? into a profitable enterprise that she hopes to franchise. How do you feel about Dagmar and what she’s done with her life? Would you invite her to join your book club? Would you be her friend?

12) “It’s the Hallmark card of death, don’t you think? Killed by the American Dream–how perfect a death is that for a Buddhist?” Doctor/Jesus asks Jimmy Ray (page 276). How appropriate a symbol of the American Dream do you find the giant RV to be? Dagmar says it’s “not my dream, but somebody’s” (page 69). Do you think the author offers judgments about her characters based on who might or might not call the RV their dream?

13) Do you think Doctor/Jesus would have been able to go through with killing Jimmy Ray? Do you think Jimmy Ray would ultimately have tried to defend himself? Is it possible that Jimmy Ray had made his peace with dying, despite what he told Doctor/Jesus?

14) Did the ending come as a surprise to you? Were you satisfied with the resolution of each character’s story? Is there any character (or characters) you wish had been given a different outcome?

15) Bender, the bartender/Mayor, barks as a form of prayer and encourages everyone to find their own inner dog. Please take a moment to find your own inner dog and bark accordingly.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 4 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2008

    Winking Jesus

    I just LOVE this book. The story is great and the cover art is retro and campy. The size makes it portable and readable anywhere, which is good because I couldn't put it down until it was over!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2006

    Soon to be a movie!

    This book had me in stitches. I was actually laughing out loud. Jimmy Ray is one of the best characters in American literature...a good man who wants to see the goodness in others. We need men like this, esp. when they are so dog gone funny. How is this not a role for Morgan Freeman?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 28, 2006


    Sometimes I read a book, and all the characters are familiar, and that's comforting, especially if the plot is tense and/or twisted. Well, in Whale Season, none of these guys are famililar or comforting, and the plot is very twisted. I love this book. It just twist and twist away. It's a great book, especially to those readers who say they've read all of Chris Moore, or all of Carl Hiaasen, and now they need someone new, but like Moore and/or Hiaasen.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 14, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)