What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

3.2 4
by Terri Apter
     
 

View All Available Formats & Editions

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.

When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal

Overview

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.

When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse. What Do You Want From Me? takes a fresh look at the age-old problem of managing conflict with in-laws, offering practical help for dealing with problems that are both immediate (“How do I deal with my in-laws now?”) and strategic (“How can I change the nature of my in-laws’ demands?”). Terri Apter, a psychologist whose books on family dynamics have received international acclaim, draws on nearly two decades of psychological research to pinpoint the sources of tension between in-laws and explore the ways in which we can build healthy relationships with the in-laws in our lives.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Though it's often said that you don't just marry a person, you marry their family too, these complex relationships are often reduced to mother-in-law jokes and cruel stereotypes. Apter, a writer, psychologist and Cambridge University fellow, explores the mysteries and conflicts that come with the in-laws, including mother, father, sister and brother. Offering compelling insights into the power these relationships over a marriage, and the well being of both partners, Apter bases her report on interviews with 150 volunteers, in both the U.K. and the U.S. With professional grace, Apter exposes the emotional minefields that couples often navigate around in-laws, and the ease with which they become stuck in negative (and familiar) attitudes toward them. Apter moves beyond convenient labels, for example readdressing the idea of a mama's boy and what he can mean for a new wife, and convincingly demonstrating why women bear the brunt of the tension from both sides of the family. Self-help-standard questionnaires, exercises and coping methods-mostly practical-are also included in each chapter, giving readers knowledge and skills to relate more openly with the loved one's less-than-loveable family.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
The Atlantic
“A keenly perceptive interpretation of the kinship structures, ‘fracture lines,’ and recurrent emotions—resentment, ambivalence, acceptance—that are part and parcel of the in-law experience.”

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780393072884
Publisher:
Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:
08/30/2010
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
288
Sales rank:
690,655
File size:
305 KB

Related Subjects

Meet the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge University. Her books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Write a Review

and post it to your social network

     

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews >

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
motherinlawstories More than 1 year ago
This is a truly awesome book! If you are looking for the one book to go to for dealing with in-law problems, this is it! Everybody knows that if you want to deal with any problem successfully you must first seek to understand it. Terri Apter has taken a look at in-law issues from every possible angle, and finally shed light on what is really going on. She provides examples using actual stories from people who participated in her research that are so easy to relate to. This book delves into the real issues at hand - from how the in-laws have power, to why things go wrong, to a new mindset for considering who is at fault. Not only does she provide the explanations that have been so hard to come by, but she offers sound advice on real steps you can take to improve things. If you are looking for a quick fix or an easy out, this will not be the book for you. But if you are looking for an understanding of what is truly happening with your own in-law relationships - and want to find insights and advice that will offer true hope, you will cherish this book.