What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

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Overview

“The cover of What Do You Want from Me? should be stamped read before proceeding down the aisle.”—O, The Oprah Magazine
When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that in-laws exert over our lives. What Do You Want from Me? takes a fresh look at how the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse. Here is an essential book for husbands and wives, parents and ...

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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

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Overview

“The cover of What Do You Want from Me? should be stamped read before proceeding down the aisle.”—O, The Oprah Magazine
When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that in-laws exert over our lives. What Do You Want from Me? takes a fresh look at how the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse. Here is an essential book for husbands and wives, parents and children, seeking to strengthen the bonds of family.

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Editorial Reviews

The Atlantic
“A keenly perceptive interpretation of the kinship structures, ‘fracture lines,’ and recurrent emotions—resentment, ambivalence, acceptance—that are part and parcel of the in-law experience.”
Publishers Weekly
Though it's often said that you don't just marry a person, you marry their family too, these complex relationships are often reduced to mother-in-law jokes and cruel stereotypes. Apter, a writer, psychologist and Cambridge University fellow, explores the mysteries and conflicts that come with the in-laws, including mother, father, sister and brother. Offering compelling insights into the power these relationships over a marriage, and the well being of both partners, Apter bases her report on interviews with 150 volunteers, in both the U.K. and the U.S. With professional grace, Apter exposes the emotional minefields that couples often navigate around in-laws, and the ease with which they become stuck in negative (and familiar) attitudes toward them. Apter moves beyond convenient labels, for example readdressing the idea of a mama's boy and what he can mean for a new wife, and convincingly demonstrating why women bear the brunt of the tension from both sides of the family. Self-help-standard questionnaires, exercises and coping methods-mostly practical-are also included in each chapter, giving readers knowledge and skills to relate more openly with the loved one's less-than-loveable family.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780393338539
  • Publisher: Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 7/19/2010
  • Pages: 268
  • Sales rank: 1,410,716
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 7.20 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge University. Her books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 4 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Posted June 16, 2009

    Truly Awesome Book!

    This is a truly awesome book! If you are looking for the one book to go to for dealing with in-law problems, this is it! Everybody knows that if you want to deal with any problem successfully you must first seek to understand it. Terri Apter has taken a look at in-law issues from every possible angle, and finally shed light on what is really going on. She provides examples using actual stories from people who participated in her research that are so easy to relate to. This book delves into the real issues at hand - from how the in-laws have power, to why things go wrong, to a new mindset for considering who is at fault. Not only does she provide the explanations that have been so hard to come by, but she offers sound advice on real steps you can take to improve things. If you are looking for a quick fix or an easy out, this will not be the book for you. But if you are looking for an understanding of what is truly happening with your own in-law relationships - and want to find insights and advice that will offer true hope, you will cherish this book.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 20, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 3, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 29, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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