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The Chivalrous Man
We often hear that chivalry is dead.But the very fact that we can lament its passing suggests we still have some recollection of it. What does it mean for a man to be chivalrous? Refined manners, courtesy toward others, respect for women, and a character bred to the virtues of honor, courage, and self-restraint--these would all be part of what we have in mind when the concept of chivalry is invoked. Chivalry is often associated with the ideals of medieval knighthood, as portrayed in the legends of King Arthur and his knights. The perfect knight was thought to embody a distinct array of ideals: piety, valor, gentleness, compassion for the suffering; knights were expected, moreover, to lead a sublime and spiritual inner life. In matters of love, the perfect knight always acted with moderation, composure, and patience in wooing his fair damsel. The chivalrous man wanted his lady to love him for his worthy character and his courage in defending justice, faith, and duty.
Chivalry, then, means much more than simply good manners-opening doors for ladies, for instance, or spreading one's trench coat over a puddle. These are the outward signs of a deeper experience-the process by which a man's love for a woman helps to perfect his own character. A common theme throughout the readings in this section is that love gives a man the strongest motive to overcome and avoid bad behavior, so as to make himself admirable and worthy of affection in the eyes of his beloved. They demonstrate, again and again, one of the paradoxes of the chivalric ideal: that an overwhelming romantic passion can furnish thesurest inducement to moral decency. Readers will find in this section guidance from all ages on how a man can make himself worthy of a woman's love, how to avoid the temptations of lust and other excesses of erotic passion, and how to conduct himself toward his beloved in a gracious and admirable fashion.
The Manly Lover
From Thomas Bulfinch,
A man's love for a woman can conquer even death. From the influential Victorian-era collection of ancient and medieval myths.
Orpheus was the son of Apollo and the Muse Calliope. He was presented by his father with a lyre and taught to play upon it, which he did to such perfection that nothing could withstand the charm of his music. Not only his fellow-mortals, but wild beasts were softened by his strains, and gathering round him laid by their fierceness, and stood entranced with his lay. Nay, the very trees and rocks were sensible to the charm. The former crowded round him and the latter relaxed somewhat of their hardness, softened by his notes.
Hymen had been called to bless with his presence the nuptials of Orpheus with Eurydice; but though he attended, he brought no happy omens with him. His very torch smoked and brought tears into their eyes. In coincidence with such prognostics, Eurydice, shortly after her marriage, while wandering with the nymphs, her companions, was seen by the shepherd Aristaeus, who was struck by her beauty and made advances to her. She fled, and in flying trod upon a snake in the grass, was bitten in the foot, and died. Orpheus sang his grief to all who breathed the upper air, both gods and men, and finding it all unavailing resolved to seek his wife in the regions of the dead. He descended by a cave situated on the side of the promontory of Taenarus and arrived at the Stygian realm. He passed through crowds of ghosts and presented himself before the throne of Pluto and Proserpine. Accompanying the words with the lyre, he sung, "O deities of the underworld, to whom all we who live must come, hear my words, for they are true. I come not to spy out the secrets of Tartarus, nor to try my strength against the three-headed dog with snaky hair who guards the entrance. I come to seek my wife, whose opening years the poisonous viper's fang has brought to an untimely end. Love has led me here, Love, a god all powerful with us who dwell on the earth, and, if old traditions say true, not less so here. I implore you by these abodes full of terror, these realms of silence and uncreated things, unite again the thread of Eurydice's life. We all are destined to you, and sooner or later must pass to your domain. She too, when she shall have filled her term of life, will rightly be yours. But till then grant her to me, I beseech you. If you deny me, I cannot return alone; you shall triumph in the death of us both."
As he sang these tender strains, the very ghosts shed tears. Tantalus, in spite of his thirst, stopped for a moment his efforts for water, Ixion's wheel stood still, the vulture ceased to tear the giant's liver, the daughters of Danaus rested from their task of drawing water in a sieve, and Sisyphus sat on his rock to listen. Then for the first time, it is said, the cheeks of the Furies were wet with tears. Proserpine could not resist, and Pluto himself gave way. Eurydice was called. She came from among the new-arrived ghosts, limping with her wounded foot. Orpheus was permitted to take her away with him on one condition, that he should not turn around to look at her till they should have reached the upper air. Under this condition they proceeded on their way, he leading, she following, through passages dark and steep, in total silence, till they had nearly reached the outlet into the cheerful upper world, when Orpheus, in a moment of forgetfulness, to assure himself that she was still following, cast a glance behind him, when instantly she was borne away. Stretching out their arms to embrace each other, they grasped only the air! Dying now a second time, she yet cannot reproach her husband, for how can she blame his impatience to behold her? "Farewell," she said, "a last farewell:"--and was hurried away, so fast that the sound hardly reached his ears.
Orpheus endeavored to follow her, and besought permission to return and try once more for her release; but the stern ferryman repulsed him and refused passage. Seven days he lingered about the brink, without food or sleep; then bitterly accusing of cruelty the powers of Erebus, he sang his complaints to the rocks and mountains, melting the hearts of tigers and moving the oaks from their stations. He held himself aloof from womankind, dwelling constantly on the recollection of his sad mischance. The Thracian maidens tried their best to captivate him, but he repulsed their advances. They bore with him as long as they could; but finding him insensible one day, excited by the rites of Bacchus, one of them exclaimed, "See yonder our despiser!" and threw at him her javelin. The weapon, as soon as it came within the sound of his lyre, fell harmless at his feet.So did also the stones that they threw at him.But the women raised a scream and drowned the voice of the music, and then the missiles reached him and soon were stained with his blood.The maniacs tore him limb from limb, and threw his head and his lyre into the river Hebrus, down which they floated, murmuring sad music, to which the shores responded a plaintive symphony...