What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal [NOOK Book]

Overview

In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken....
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What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal

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Overview

In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781451608496
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster
  • Publication date: 9/4/2012
  • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 105,602
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

John Gottman, PhD has written numerous academic articles and is the author or coauthor of forty books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His breakthrough research on marriage and parenting that has earned him numerous major awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards. Currently a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, Gottman lives on Orcas Island, Washington.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 7 )
Rating Distribution

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(5)

4 Star

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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2014

    Zane

    A teenager walks Into her bedroom, "Hey, beautiful"

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 16, 2014

    Huntrr

    Why is that?

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2014

    Angela

    Walks to Zane, smiling. "Hey cute boy." She runs her hand down his chest.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2013

    I think Gottman is a fabulous researcher and has written some re

    I think Gottman is a fabulous researcher and has written some really good stuff but don't waste your money on this book in particular. The premise of the book is that there are many forms of betrayal in a marriage and cheating is just one of those. While I agree in theory there seems to be on acknowledgment that some forms of betrayal are worse than others or that cheating is not an acceptable response to marital dissatisfaction. Also, the author does not seem to recognize that not every marital disagreement is a betrayal! For example, let me share Gottman's story of James and Marion. "When James married Marion, he was a succesful photographer who supported her while she attended cooking school. When we fast-forward ten years, James's business has been hit hard by the rise of do-it-yourself digital photography, while Marion has just begun a new job as top chef at a highly rated local restaurant...although James acts proud of Marion's success, inside he's feeling great anxiety and self-doubt...These fears are heightened because Marion is so busy working that it seems she isn't there for him...He imagines having a partner who would be more loving and supportive of his current struggle." (pg. 43-44). Can you imagine where this is going? Yup! One day soon James meets an attractive lady at the coffee house. Soon he's primping himself for the days he'll run into "June" at the coffee bar. Then he exchanges contact info with June and starts going out to the movies with her- alone- in secret. Six months later he and June sleep together. Gottman's conclusion: "James is not innocent in this tale, but neither does he sport horns and a tail. It wouldn't be unfair to see him as a well-meaning guy who was oblivious to his own vulnerability. (pg. 47)" HUH? What did I miss?! Wow! And so goes the book. A man who is a work-a-holic is betraying his wife. (What if he's a work-a-holic b/c he grew up in poverty and deep down he fears the same for his wife and children?? Oh well, according to Gottman it's a betrayal. His wife can feel vindicated cheating, I guess.

    So, for his cavalier attitude towards cheating and marital vows I give this book only 1 star (or 0 stars). EVERY marriage has its tough times. If couples don't learn to work through those tough times WITHOUT cheating then we might as well just decide that 100% percent of married couples should and will cheat eventually. That said, there is some very interesting research in this book and the book also helps you assess the weaknesses in your own relationship so for those reasons I bump this review up to 2 stars. There's no guarantee that this book (or any book!) will prevent your partner from cheating on you. In fact, in contrast to Gottman's theory decades of research have stated that the majority of men state that they cheated while they were HAPPILY married, not feeling betrayed. In that sense, this book may be more helpful for husbands (because the majority of women claim they were unhappy before cheating). Nevertheless, if this book doesn't convince you that you have an excuse to go out and cheat on your spouse it just might give you some ideas to strengthen your marriage!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 13, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

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