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What Men Want: Three Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What It Takes to Make a Man Yours

What Men Want: Three Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What It Takes to Make a Man Yours

3.9 31
by Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo

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A Doctor, A Lawyer, and an Accountant tell You Everything You Need To Know About What Men Want.

If you're like most women, you're in the dark about what men really think about love. This enormously helpful book takes you into the heart and mind of the single professional male to show you not only what but how he thinks about dating and being


A Doctor, A Lawyer, and an Accountant tell You Everything You Need To Know About What Men Want.

If you're like most women, you're in the dark about what men really think about love. This enormously helpful book takes you into the heart and mind of the single professional male to show you not only what but how he thinks about dating and being in love, about what turns him on, and what sends him running in the other direction.

Editorial Reviews

Notorious Magazine
Brutally honest...sturdy, insightful advice for women on separating the wheat from the chaff and finding Mr. Right.

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HarperCollins Publishers
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2 MB

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

Ten Facts

Fact number 1
Women Have More Power Over Men Than They Know
Did you know that it is easier for a man to take a swing at a guy twice his size, ask his boss for a raise, and run a marathon on a hot day than it is for him to approach a woman? Men are trained and biologically driven to be aggressive and competitive. But in his mind you are more daunting than a six-foot-six football tackle or a roomful of demanding business associates. He can sustain bodily injury, he can negotiate business demands, but he can't risk his manhood where it's most vulnerable. With you.
Of course, a man's sense of himself as a man is also gained by competing with other men, by doing well in the world, and by his own sense of dignity and worth. But his manhood is most vulnerable when he measures himself in the eyes of women, or of one woman. No matter how confident, good-looking, or successful a man is, he will always worry about saying something stupid to a woman and embarrassing himself. Men's powerful desire for women is matched by our equally powerful insecurities.
Women too often think men hold all the power in relationships, but the truth is that women hold enormous power. A woman has the power to invigorate a man or to crush him. Is it any wonder men are so self-protective and careful when it comes to choosing the women they will marry?
A woman who knows the power she possesses over a man can channel that power to win his mind and heart. Tap into that power and you've got the man.

Fact number 2
Men Appreciate Women Who Take the Initiative
Some women believe that men are threatened by assertive women, but the man who isyour equal will appreciate your taking the initiative. Don't just be chosen, choose. Men of character believe in a balance of power.
This is true even during that first encounter between a man and a woman. Men have an internal calibration system that measures whether or not we should approach a charming stranger. If you are interested, go ahead and tip the scale in your favor. You have the power, so use it. Once you understand how insecure men really are when it comes to women, it makes sense to use your power and signal your interest. Since men are such acute readers of women's body language, a look will often be enough to get him moving across the room in your direction. Men love women who show an interest in them. Isn't it human nature?

Fact number 3
Men Are Turned Off by Women Who Play Hard to Get
Men are suspicious of women who play hard to get. Flirting is fun; don't get us wrong. But being charmingly reserved is one thing and being downright manipulative is another. If a woman thinks a relationship would have worked out had she played harder to get, she is wrong. Relationships are formed and sustained by chemistry and hard work. To be sure, it's human nature to want what you can't have, and so posing a challenge might indeed make a man chase. But if there is no chemistry, no substance once the chase is over and the challenge conquered, the relationship is destined for failure anyway.
Many professional men don't have time for games and won't stand for them, and they may jump ship when they see games being played. A woman playing hard to get may not even be giving herself a fair chance to make it work with a great guy. Men don't want to risk being shot down by pursuing someone who appears unattainable. Just trying to meet and have a relationship with a woman is a challenge in itself. There is no need to play hard to get. Wouldn't a woman want to know sooner rather than later if the relationship was going to work out? Playing hard to get is a waste of time and prevents a man and a woman from getting to know each other.
Of course we're not suggesting you throw caution to the winds when you meet a new man: Just be real. A man will like you more if you are caring and sincere. Machiavellian manipulation tactics will get you nowhere.

Fact number 3
Men Will Take Advantage of Women Who Let Them
We are sorry to say that many, if not most, men will take advantage of those women who will let them. Women waste a lot of time in dead-end relationships when it is as plain as day that the guys are stringing them along. A man who is happy with the relationship as it is can linger forever maintaining the status quo. You must draw the line, because he won't. But we are pleased to say that men respect and respond to your boldness and self-respect. Give wake-up calls to men you believe may be playing games with you. If you suspect you are on a man's "good to have around until something better comes along" list, confront him. Men have less of a problem than women do in staying in "fun for now" relationships. He is perfectly content but needs to know if you are not. When asked point-blank what his intentions are, a man will be on his honor to tell the truth.
But he might soften his language to shield you from the blow. And in the pages that follow we'll clue you in to what statements like "I am not ready for commitment" really mean. We will also help you identify the physical, verbal, and emotional clues that tell you he thinks the relationship is on its last legs.

Meet the Author

Bradley Gerstman Esq., is a partner at the law firm of Raskin & Gerstman LLP in New York City.

Christopher Pizzo, CPA, obtained his M.B.A. in finance at New York University and works as a vice president of finance at a firm in New York City.

Rich Seldes, M.D., lives and practices medicine in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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What Men Want: Three Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What It Takes to Make a Man Yours 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 31 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Then don't ask the question. I'm a single guy that picked up this book just to see how dead on it really was. I have three sisters and I always try to give them the best advice because I want them to be successful and happy in whatever they do. What I found amazing about some of the reviews on this book was the criticism of how judgemental and shallow guys are. Women..... get a grip. You are the same way. Visit a match making website and look at all the petty requirements that women list. Height, education, money, earning potential. Some even specify desired skin color. And you want a guy to breeze over that issue. Now that is shallow. Face it.. men are who they are and if you want a book that "candy-coats" that fact with kind euphemisms then read another book. If you want one that gives it to you straight then read on. I will say this though. Some of the information is a little over the top when it comes to protecting a man's ego. Some men never worry about protecting a woman's ego. But then again, I would love for a gutsy woman to write a "no holes barred" book about what women really want. The rest of the book is full of common sense information that women seem to forget before they leap into bed with a total stranger. I would read it for a least it's comic value. What have you got to lose? The three hours it took me to finish it?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was hooked on reading this from the first page. I believe its a very good guide to mens inner thoughts and the meanings behind their actions. I would love for women to write a book in the same content to explain a womans inner thoughts and feelings to better the communication between the two sexes.
thank you for the authors I really enjoyed reading this.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I read this book years ago and one of the 1st books I could not put down. It definitely gave me a better understanding of men and why they do the things they do. I highly recommend to read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I wish I had read this book before I even got started in the process of dating. It revealed what I was doing wrong in my relationship, and let me know how to do it right. If you want an insight on men and why they do the things they do to women, this is a good read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is the question posed and the authors really take a good stab at it. I'd say this is the opposite of books like the Rules. It's very straightforward and informative. Any women needs to read this.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be very entertaining straight forward and an easy read. I also found it to be humorous from time to time. It definitely provides a fresh perspective on the dating game. Some of the topics may be upsetting as us women sometimes don't want to face reality. This is an excellent read if you are interested in catching a professional man.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Nicely written. Most of this is logical information but a good reminder. I bought the book for myself after I got a divorce and then I bought another copy for a friend who is also divorced. She stated that she learned a few new things from the book. I recommend it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I had intended on buying a totally different book but his one caught my eye while I was shopping. I found myself sitting on the floor at the store just reading away. So I bought it and read it to a married couple by phone and we all enjoyed the provoking conversations it led us to. It's an easy and insightful read. Comical in only a 'guy' kinda way!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is a useful guide to help women gauge the work in process of a new relationship. It's about time somebody developed such an invaluable resource!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm a single, divorced professional woman. I have been in and out of relationships for various reasons for 4 years. The beak ups always seem to point to me and my ability to attract the same kind of guy. I want the professional, stable 30-40 year old man and attract the 28-30 year old partier with tons of problems. I have a daughter and am NOT into the club scene so I find it difficult to meet professional men and when I do they have just gotten out of a realtionship, just divorced, just lost their job etc and look to me for answers and consoling. After reading this book I found that it's not them or me but the situation and it is time to take the advice from this book, and the 3 professional men that wrote it, and send the signals to the next professional man I meet in the proper way, enjoy the realtionship and if it's not going well to not fix it but GET OUT! This book gives us single ladies the tool to understand MANY things about that cute guy we see across the room and 'Why on earth' he doesnt come over and talk to us! More than that it helped me to see what 'I' was doing wrong so the next time I will be aware of it and stop it before that guy gets away. So if youre looking for a professional man in his 30's this book is for you! Good luck to us all
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm a Graduate student in Psychology. Although I understand PsychoPathology, the "normal" actions of allegedly "normal" men have always befuddled me. I don't argue the point that men's brains are simply wired differently than women's, these guys have just come right out and said it. Quite frankly, if in fact men are 100% like these guys say they are, then from this point on I'm seriously thinking about never EVER getting involved with men in any way, shape, or form. From what I gathered, men are insecure, hormonal, judgemental, immature, exploitative, and can be downright EVIL! Shoot, if I want affection, I've got a cat. If I want friendship, I've got my women friends, and if I want sex....well, that's what "devices" are for. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed these mens' book very much. It reinforced and confirmed what I've always suspected. They've done a public service in my eyes, they've convinced me that I do not WANT or NEED a man. Thanks again, Guys! (I DO mean it!)
Lovingspencer More than 1 year ago
I have read this book literally 5 times. I have quoted from it to girlfriends, I have referred back to it when relationship questions needed some clarity. I love it. I am in a relationship with a professionally driven man and sometimes it is difficult to read him and give him what he needs. I have found the insight and honesty in this book priceless. It has given me clarity and advice that has worked bringing my relationship with the professional man a lot more satisfying. Read this book first and the others for fun.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is a winner! It is very funny and very true. It probably has a lot of stuff in there that a lot of us women don't want to hear and definitely don't want to believe, but I believe what these men say to be the truth...according to what is going on inside a man's mind. I wish they would follow-up with a more books on the inner workings of what professional men think about love and sex.
Guest More than 1 year ago
All the books that tell you what men want... if they truly had 'the answers' - there'd be none of us single women left! Another book of advice to women about men from men. Interesting to read, but like a Chinese meal, you're hungry a half hour later -- or in this case, you need another book one date later!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am very impress with this book and recommend reading it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
An open, honest and revealing look at dating.
Guest More than 1 year ago
As a 23 yr old programmer having just gotten out of a bad 2 year relationship with my girlfriend, my sister let me read this book while I was at home for Thanksgiving as entertainment. I would have to agree with everything they have to say in the book; emphasis on how fragile and insecure the male and their ego is and a much softer idea on men using women purely for sex. Great read, super great advice, ... now if there was only a book by 3 professional women out there with some good advice. The book should be printed and distrubuted to all women everywear.
Guest More than 1 year ago
what a eye opening book! men will be very upset that this book was published, it is very straight and to the point! there is no fooling yourself after you read this, all my friends will get a copy for christmas.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book content is straightforward and real. It's about time! I think that this book will undoubtedly tick a lot of women off because even though women say they want men to express themselves, 'what women want' is to hear men say what women want to hear, even if it is not the truth. I think the book says alot about men finally speaking up and not caving into the whims of the female sector to remain surpressed and 'be something that they are not.' If a woman can't grasp this concept, a man should keep on moving and looking elsewhere. The female to men ratio figures strongly show that men have tremendous opportunities to be more selective and not 'settle'.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The good: Short and funny. I found myself nodding in agreement throughout most of this book. The bad: Badly organized. Some sections seem out of place. Overall rating: A book that is fun to read and informative. All single women should read this book, even if just for the laughs. :o)
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was fun to read and basically these guys were so honest that it may bother some gals. But I found it to be so true about the way things are for 'REAL' men. I love a true gentleman, and these guys are. Just some women have forgotten how to be a 'REAL' lady and about recieving true chivalry.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Probably the best book I've read about male behavior and psyche. It is very easy to read and follow and provides EXCELLENT insight into male/female relationships. Not only did I love this book, but, I've ordered (6) copies for my friends. I had one to practically pry the book from my hand. Women are hungry for this type of information that is written honestly and from a male's perspective. Should be required reading for all FEMALES! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Learning what men want from a woman can be a long painstaking experience, but with the help of the three professionals from this book it can eliviate some of the pain. The simple truth is that men think different from a woman. Once a woman learns the difference between a man that wants a relationship or just wants you for a good time girl it will mean the difference of staying with a man longer than you should. It's nice to hear and learn what men really want, from real men, and to hear the truth of how they think and feel first hand. Every woman should read this book if they are trying to analize the many men who make up the 'single' dating world.
Anonymous 3 months ago
The only benefit I gained from this book as a professional female, was the affirmation of my decision to remain happily single. I had forgotten how incredibly self-centered is, "the professional man!" Too many truly wonderful experiences available in life to waste time playing games. A one star effort at best.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Seriously anyone else find it hard to read with so many typos.?. Im only 24 pages in and fnding too many typos.