What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

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More About This Book

Overview

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman—co-editor of Yes Means Yes—gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world’s confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we’re failures if we don’t act sexy, but we’re sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve “whatever we get” if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman’s informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends—and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else’s sexuality along the way.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Friedman's mantra is "You can't get what you want 'till you know what you want." Designed for young women who want to say "yes" at least sometimes, this guide speaks to those unsure about their sexual future or regretful about their sexual past. In coaxing readers to figure out answers for themselves, Friedman (coauthor, Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape) covers a lot of ground: family and societal influence on attitudes, personal values, intuition, discrimination and "prudes vs. sluts" stereotyping, physical safety and safer sex, conversations about sex with partners and others, managing emotions, paybacks, and making amends. Most valuable are the exercises, largely relating to journaling, such as imagining and writing out different endings for past experiences and listing possible risks and outcomes for various choices. Resources (many web based) are listed throughout. VERDICT While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781580053440
  • Publisher: Avalon Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 10/25/2011
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 227,212
  • Product dimensions: 8.26 (w) x 5.54 (h) x 0.94 (d)

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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

  • Posted May 2, 2012

    Friedman does an incredible job laying out sexuality in a way th

    Friedman does an incredible job laying out sexuality in a way that truly empowers the individual to stand up for themselves in a world of a million voices telling us what to think about sex and how to do it. She does not focus on "how to get a boyfriend/girlfriend" or "how to please your partner" - you can get that anywhere. Instead, Friedman encourages us to be brave and take the huge step necessary to develop a positive relationship with our own personal feelings around sex. The book is written in a witty, conversational tone that is easy and fun to read while helping us to identify what we want from sex by asking ourselves the tough questions and creating a supportive network. And she has even provided exercises to help us dive into our pasts and present to decide how we want to take on the future!

    I highly recommend this book for any one who has ever felt ashamed, fearful, or confused about their sexuality. Friedman has created an all inclusive atmosphere for any orientation, race, and gender.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 26, 2012

    I hate this,please dont get it

    Eeeeeeeeh

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
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