What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

Overview

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman—co-editor of Yes Means Yes—gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world’s confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we’re failures if we don’t act sexy, but we’re sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve “whatever we get” if we have a drink at a party and wear a ...

See more details below
Paperback
$11.97
BN.com price
(Save 29%)$17.00 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (28) from $1.99   
  • New (15) from $3.95   
  • Used (13) from $1.99   
What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99
BN.com price
(Save 41%)$17.00 List Price

Overview

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman—co-editor of Yes Means Yes—gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world’s confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we’re failures if we don’t act sexy, but we’re sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve “whatever we get” if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.

Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman’s informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends—and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else’s sexuality along the way.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Don't have sex before you read this book! With her usual wit and candor, Friedman writes a manual for sex that teaches, engages, surprises and-most important-puts the reader in charge. What You Really Really Want will change the way a generation thinks (and acts!) about sex." —Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth

"Too many books in this genre promise certain drive-your-man-wild tricks, or they take a side in the politicized debate over hookup culture. Friedman instead has one thing on her agenda: Getting girls to explore and embrace their own authentic sexual identities without shame, fear or guilt. Instead of arguing for empowerment through one-night stands or, conversely, abstinence, she leaves it up to young women to decide what it is that’s best for them. But she also offers guidance along the way, urging them to critically examine the social pressures and media messages that have shaped their understandings of sexiness, sexual fulfillment and love." —Salon.com

"It is a book that many readers may wish they had read earlier in their lives, and as a prospective parent, I'm looking forward to making my children read every last word of it." —Rabble.CA

"While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight." —Library Journal

In a world of Pussycat Dolls and virginity pledges, What You Really Really Want carves out a path for real women to have real sex on their own terms. The information and exercises in this book have the power to change your sex life for good." —Susie Bright, activist, author of Big Sex Little Death

"There is more significant, sex-positive, shame-free, life-changing knowledge in a few pages of this book than you'll find in the entire public school sex education curriculum." —Tristan Taormino, sex educator, author of The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation

Library Journal
Friedman's mantra is "You can't get what you want 'till you know what you want." Designed for young women who want to say "yes" at least sometimes, this guide speaks to those unsure about their sexual future or regretful about their sexual past. In coaxing readers to figure out answers for themselves, Friedman (coauthor, Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape) covers a lot of ground: family and societal influence on attitudes, personal values, intuition, discrimination and "prudes vs. sluts" stereotyping, physical safety and safer sex, conversations about sex with partners and others, managing emotions, paybacks, and making amends. Most valuable are the exercises, largely relating to journaling, such as imagining and writing out different endings for past experiences and listing possible risks and outcomes for various choices. Resources (many web based) are listed throughout. VERDICT While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight.—Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781580053440
  • Publisher: Avalon Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 10/25/2011
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 303,959
  • Product dimensions: 8.26 (w) x 5.54 (h) x 0.94 (d)

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 2, 2012

    Friedman does an incredible job laying out sexuality in a way th

    Friedman does an incredible job laying out sexuality in a way that truly empowers the individual to stand up for themselves in a world of a million voices telling us what to think about sex and how to do it. She does not focus on "how to get a boyfriend/girlfriend" or "how to please your partner" - you can get that anywhere. Instead, Friedman encourages us to be brave and take the huge step necessary to develop a positive relationship with our own personal feelings around sex. The book is written in a witty, conversational tone that is easy and fun to read while helping us to identify what we want from sex by asking ourselves the tough questions and creating a supportive network. And she has even provided exercises to help us dive into our pasts and present to decide how we want to take on the future!

    I highly recommend this book for any one who has ever felt ashamed, fearful, or confused about their sexuality. Friedman has created an all inclusive atmosphere for any orientation, race, and gender.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 26, 2012

    I hate this,please dont get it

    Eeeeeeeeh

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)