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When Elves Attack (Serge Storms Series #14) [NOOK Book]

Overview

I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . .

It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.

But before that, it's all a big ...

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When Elves Attack (Serge Storms Series #14)

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Overview

I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . .

It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.

But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves—they bite). So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
This small holiday package, the 14th Serge Storms thriller (after Electric Barracuda), packs a satisfyingly large punch of classic Dorsey craziness. At Thanksgiving, civic-minded serial killer Serge executes an unpatriotic thief the time-honored Florida way, in the explosion caused by deep-frying a frozen turkey. In December, Serge decides he’s “taking Christmas large.” He and his stoned crony, Coleman, rent a suburban house, serve up a gingerbread house-turned-bong, and haunt the local mall dressed as elves to protect the public from seasonal felons and mean mall cops. Along the way they re-encounter familiar characters, including the G-Unit, a quartet of elderly spitfires on the lam from their retirement home. The snarky humor is a nice change from the usual Christmas-season sweetness, and Serge’s paradoxical personality is at its most charming, whether he’s reprimanding a teenage girl for smoking just before torturing her boyfriend with a specially rigged set of Christmas lights or reveling in his first taste of snow. Agent: Nat Sobel, Sobel Weber. (Oct.)
Tampa Tribune
“Fans of Dorsey’s slapstick-comedy style will find plenty to like. Dorsey again proves he’s some sort of mad master with a concoction that features zany physical comedy, dark humor, social commentary, and Florida history.”
Suspense Magazine
“The cover of Dorsey’s book boasts, “A JOYOUS CHRISTMAS GREETING FROM THE CRIMINAL NUTBARS OF THE SUNSHINE STATE” and I must say…it’s all that and so much more. … Hilarious...Dorsey will hold you captive until the last word is read!”
Gainesville Times
“Fun to read. …Sick and twisted, but delightfully so. Serge is one hard core Santa figure…memorable.”
Florida Times-Union
“Dorsey weaves in the overt insanity of our holiday season with his own special brand to give us a special little tome. [When Elves Attack] will win Dorsey new fans.”
GoodReads
“The perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday novellas”
Patriot Ledger
“Dorsey serves up some zany holiday. …Full of suspense and more than a few chuckles.”
Star News Online
“Dorsey, following Carl Hiaasen’s star, spin[s] goofball yarns about Florida’s inherent craziness.”
Tulsa World
“Hilarious”
EagleTribune.com
“With a gleefully iconoclastic streak of holiday pandemonium, Dorsey ramps up the usual Serge-and-Coleman mayhem by several notches. You’re in for a heck of a sleigh ride here.”
Las Vegas Review-Journal
“Plenty of mayhem, sex and, yes, death. ”
Bookreporter.com
“Hilarious. ... Dorsey never seems to run out of new and unique ways for his deranged creation to dry up the gene pools of the rude and the inconsiderate. His research of Florida’s history and penchant for sprinkling arcane trivia throughout his books make each and every one a keeper.”
Macon County Herald
“You Gotta Read This…best laughs.”
Kirkus Reviews
Multitasking maniac Serge Storms (Electric Barracuda, 2011, etc.) slows the flow when he concentrates on having a down-home Florida Christmas. Roaring into Tampa, Serge has just two wishes: to become a family man like his old friend Jim Davenport, and to Take Christmas Big. And what better way to start than to return to Triggerfish Lane and move next door to good old Jim? Jim's wife Martha is already stressed to the max by her mother-in-law's annual holiday visit, complete with Mother Davenport's generous gesture of wiping down the bathroom with bleach before using it. But the sight of Serge's 1972 Chevelle pulling up at the curb drives excitable Martha's anxiety to fever pitch, especially after her teenage daughter finds the newly minted family man a worthy role model. In Serge's mind, no family is complete without its feminine side, so he beefs up his household, so far limited to his drug-addled pal Coleman, with the addition of City and Country, two chicks on the run since an incident in a Tuscaloosa bar. Now Serge can work on Taking Christmas Big, starting out by taking Country under the mistletoe and proving that a kiss isn't just a kiss. Then there's the 10-foot tree that almost fits through the front door and Coleman's dope-laced gingerbread. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without presents, so Serge and Coleman, dressed as elves, head to the Tampa Mall to shop--and to discuss Martha's Thanksgiving Day dust-up with mall security. Although Serge is thinking big, Dorsey's holiday gift is small, with his new, linear story line a mere shadow of his mayhem-filled priors.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062092854
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/25/2011
  • Series: Serge Storms Series , #14
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 172
  • File size: 816 KB

Meet the Author

Tim Dorsey

Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of seventeen other novels: Tiger Shrimp Tango, The Riptide Ultra-Glide, When Elves Attack, Pineapple Grenade, Electric Barracuda, Gator A-Go-Go, Nuclear Jellyfish, Atomic Lobster, Hurricane Punch, The Big Bamboo, Torpedo Juice, Cadillac Beach, The Stingray Shuffle, Triggerfish Twist, Orange Crush, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, and Florida Roadkill. He lives in Tampa, Florida.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 50 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(26)

4 Star

(9)

3 Star

(10)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(3)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 50 Customer Reviews
  • Posted November 19, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Fast moving fun, and more than a little bit crazy!

    Tim Dorsey's less than dynamic duo of Serge and Coleman are back in the holiday romp WHEN ELVES ATTACK. This is my first exposure to Tim Dorsey, so I didn't know what to expect, but it won't be my last.

    Serge and Coleman are determined to do "Christmas big," and move into suburbia to try and settle down. Dressed as elves, they set out to punish those who do evil to their fellow man around the holidays, and the results are a non-stop trail of burned out motel rooms, burned up joints, and a whole bunch of "did I really just read what I thought I read," moments.

    I couldn't help but fall for the likable (mostly) Serge and the always-stoned Coleman, and Dorsey does a great job of developing their characters for those new to his work. Add in four crazy elderly ladies and the beautiful tag team of City and Country, and you have a Christmas story probably not worth sharing with the kids, but one that you won't forget.

    At less than 200 pages, a quick, fun read, although definitely a rated R book. High praise for this and I will be back for more Dorsey!

    8 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 18, 2011

    Highly recommended for those who enjoy quirky but down-to-earth humour

    Tim Dorsey has always been my favourite with his Serge Storms series. I eagerly look forward to every release.

    Time Dorsey combines fascinating history lessons of Florida, exposure to endlessly quirky Floridians, political and social insights voiced through Serge that do make you think, all wrapped in great humour - from bright-coloured farce to deep black.

    As an engineer, I delight in Serge's Rube-Goldberg inventions and contrived confrontations that offer (but often don't succeed) in bringing redemption to the unredeemable slimeballs around us.

    For me, it's like watching a mass of lives colliding as they drift through life but the Brownian motion isn't really as random as it appears, and, somehow, justice, fairness, and humour always triumph...

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2012

    Great Holiday Story

    Classic Dorsey! The only thing I would point out is that this is a very short read. Perhaps 1/3 as long as his other books.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 4, 2012

    Typical Serge Storms

    Florida history mixed with serial murderer justice. Plenty of holiday joy here.

    An entertread

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 24, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    One Crazy Christmas!

    This is not your Nana’s Christmas story. If you’re looking for a heart-warming, fuzzy, good-feeling read, Tim Dorsey’s style will shock your stockings off. This satirical tale might even strip the stripe off a candy cane or two. However, twisted folks that giggle at Christopher Moore and are amused by Beavis and Butthead-like antics, will fa-la-la-la-la through the pages of this short gem. Spike the eggnog and dress the white elephant gift with the Sunday funny paper, because When Elves Attack is packed with classic Dorsey shenanigans wrapped in a shiny bright bow. Yeah, it’s nothing knew, but it’s funny as hell. This isn’t highbrow stuff, but who wants to strain their brain after hours at the mall? This is the perfect book to take along to the in-laws over the holidays or will make an excellent gift for that hard-to-buy-for nutbar relative. Let’s face it you’re probably going to need a laugh by the end of the evening anyways! Sometimes it’s good to remember that it could be worse. You could live in Florida across the street from Serge Storms on Triggerfish Lane.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 16, 2014

    .

    Hilarious story. Jms

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 11, 2014

    IMWS

    What a great book. If you need to be put in a good mood this is the book for you. It had me laughing out loud, only Christoper Moore's books have been able to do that and I've read all of his. Now I have a whole new series of books to enjoy.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2014

    Attackers of Darkness Med Den POST!

    The top of a log has been removed, and the bottom part made wet and flattened. Long stones have been places on end on either side of it, and sticks laid across. This makes the med den. At one end a large stone with many cubbyish holes has been places for herbs. There are five nests on each side of the den, and a little walkway through the miidle of them. Here, the med cat treats sick or hurt cats. POST!

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 17, 2014

    I'VE READ THEM ALL!

    Tim Dorsey is, without question, is a brilliant satirist with a bizarre twist, commenting on everything Florida, including all the quirky things, and especially its 'unique' politicians and citizenry. Of course, being a Floridian I love following Serge & Coleman's adventures around the state where they do justice(?) to those who deserve it. Unfortunately I must confess I do share Dorsey's sense of humor and consequently have been hooked on his books for years. 'Tiger Shrimp Tango' is next in my Nook Book queue. Sad, isn't it? BTW, if you ever get a chance to attend one of his book signings he is as entertaining in person as he is through his books. Signed, Obviously-A-Fan

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2014

    &#8437

    0 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2012

    Softkit

    Ran behing cheetopaw

    0 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2012

    Cheetopaw

    "Well, we better get back. Let's go." Cheetopaw scurried back to camp.

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 18, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    A new Christmas classic

    A homecoming for Serge and Coleman, a gathering of old friends, singing, dancing and a Christmas miracle! Although Serge's hobby craft lacked the technical details they used to get.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 14, 2011

    Just OK

    Not close to his best. Quick read but not great.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 3, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 2, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 50 Customer Reviews

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