When the Labels Don't Fit: A New Approach to Raising a Challenging Child [NOOK Book]


“One of the finest and most helpful books we have ever read . . . should be the first stop for any parent trying to help a struggling child.”
—Brock Eide and Fernette Eide, authors of The Mislabeled Child

Finally, a positive approach designed around your child’s traits and needs

Many children do things that seem odd, troubling, or excessive at some point in their ...
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When the Labels Don't Fit: A New Approach to Raising a Challenging Child

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“One of the finest and most helpful books we have ever read . . . should be the first stop for any parent trying to help a struggling child.”
—Brock Eide and Fernette Eide, authors of The Mislabeled Child

Finally, a positive approach designed around your child’s traits and needs

Many children do things that seem odd, troubling, or excessive at some point in their development, and our culture is quick to attach a label to every child who’s “outside the box” or hard to raise. Again and again, studies document the explosion in the number of children receiving psychiatric diagnoses for being intense, moody, or offbeat.

In this groundbreaking book, childhood development expert Barbara Probst provides a new framework for identifying the specific traits—like rigidity, curiosity, perfectionism, intensity, slow tempo, a need for novelty, or a need for control—that lie at the root of your child’s challenging behavior.

When the Labels Don’t Fit features a questionnaire for profiling your child’s temperament and more than sixty strategies for dealing with specific kinds of behavior. It’s the first comprehensive system that’s not based on figuring out what’s “wrong” with your child, but on helping you tap into your child’s strengths so you can manage, nurture, and enjoy his or her essential nature.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Probst, a clinical social worker and educator, argues that our society has become too quick to diagnose and label children who think or act outside the box as having a psychiatric disorder or disease. Although there are times when a diagnosis and medication are called for, Probst believes that the "diagnosis explosion" is over the top (adding up the medical statistics, she concludes that "44 percent of all American children are pathologically depressed, anxious, defiant or hyperactive"). Probst presents fresh tactics for dealing with difficult children, using temperament as a basis for understanding and intervention. Guiding parents through a temperament questionnaire, she maps 11 core traits, including energy source, attention and sensory sensitivity. She then offers practical strategies and tools parents can use when a childa's social or physical environment clashes with his temperament (for instance, a simple timer can help a child who has problems with transitions; discussing a "backup plan" may help a child who has trouble adapting to unexpected situations.) The author encourages parents to "reframe" their own thinking and focus on their childa's strengths (i.e., a label such as "antisocial" can be seen as "self-sufficient," or "hyper" as "lively"). Readers seeking innovative ways to handle a challenging child will be drawn to Probsta's bright and benevolent approach. (Aug.)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Publisher
"When the Labels Don't Fit marks the turning of the tide away from calling every difference a disorder. This guide will show you step by step how to stop the madness of labels gone bad. This is an incredible resource, and many families will be healed by it."
—Dr. Lara Honos-Webb author of The Gift of ADHD

"One of the finest and most helpful books we have ever read about helping a child whose behavior is causing concern or conflict. In this wise, humane, and deeply practical book, Barbara Probst leads us beyond the current obsession with labels and syndromes to remind us that the place to begin in helping a struggling child is not by deciding what that child has but discovering who that child is. In clear and concise language she provides an innovative framework for understanding a child's unique temperamental makeup and for distinguishing between individual differences and true disorders, then shares a wealth of practical ways to help children with different makeups and needs. When the Labels Don't Fit should be required reading for everyone who works with children--teachers, psychologists, clinicians--and the first stop for any parent trying to help a struggling child. We cannot possibly recommend it highly enough."
—Brock Eide, M.D., M.A., and Fernette Eide M.D., authors of The Mislabeled Child

“The parents of challenging children will be grateful for Barbara Probst’s vision and rich store of knowledge. This is an exceptional book, packed with important information that helps make sense of children's widely varying temperaments and developmental pathways. In When the Labels Don’t Fit, Probst truly cuts a new pathway for parents.”
—Anita Lightburn, Ed.D., Professor Fordham University Graduate School of Social Service

“In an era when children are too quickly labeled and mislabeled, this refreshing book is about understanding, not labeling; about guiding, not blaming; and about nurturing a child. Probst’s approach is proactive and supportive. By considering and respecting the unique ways of your individual child, she helps you focus on working toward positive outcomes rather than punishment and frustration.”
—Tovah Klein, Ph.D. Director, Barnard College Center for Toddler Development and Developmental Advisor to Sesame Street

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307449702
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 8/26/2008
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 878,464
  • File size: 327 KB

Meet the Author

BARBARA PROBST, MSW, LCSW, an educator and clinician for more than two decades, specializes in helping families with challenging children. She gives presentations throughout the country, and her articles have appeared in numerous parental and professional publications. She lives in Westchester County, New York.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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Table of Contents

When the Labels Don't Fit     1
Discovering Your Child's Essential Nature     13
Temperament Questionnaire     22
Respecting Your Child's Inner World     33
Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior     57
Changing the Way You Think and Talk     82
Changing the Way You Respond     105
Meeting Your Child's Needs     128
The "Big Five": Tackling Common Problems     147
Stepping In: Knowing When and How to Help     166
Stepping Back: Taking Care of Yourself     190
When You Need More: Finding Resources and Support     208
Putting It All Together: Ten Principles for Raising a Challenging Child     233
Temperament Questionnaire Answer Sheets     251
References     259
Acknowledgments     265
Index     267
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