When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself

When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself

4.7 8
by W. Campbell
     
 

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Narcissistic men seem like the ultimate catch: self-confident, attractive, charming individuals who are often the life of the party. The narcissist always knows the place to be and who to be seen with. His attention is initially very flattering, but eventually his behavior is not: he becomes aloof and controlling and may cheat. He still seems somewhat

Overview

Narcissistic men seem like the ultimate catch: self-confident, attractive, charming individuals who are often the life of the party. The narcissist always knows the place to be and who to be seen with. His attention is initially very flattering, but eventually his behavior is not: he becomes aloof and controlling and may cheat. He still seems somewhat interested, however, and often makes enough nice gestures to maintain a girl's interest, leaving all but him to wonder: what is going on?
The country's leading expert on narcissism, Dr. W. Keith Campbell, explains how to identify a narcissist, what it means to love a man who loves himself and how to break the cycle of dating men with this personality disorder.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781402203428
Publisher:
Sourcebooks
Publication date:
02/01/2005
Edition description:
New Edition
Pages:
304
Sales rank:
1,136,291
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.62(d)

Read an Excerpt

...from Chapter 1: Who is a Narcissist?

What is Narcissism?
Arrogant, cocky, self-centered, selfish, self-absorbed, egotistical, egomaniacal, full of himself, God's gift to the universe, player, playboy, conceited...all of these terms have been used to describe a certain type of man. In fits of anger they are often strung together, as in: that arrogant-self-centered-conceited-egotistical-jerk. There is something about this type of man that brings out the fury in women and can be extremely damaging to them as well, especially in romantic relationships. Here is the basic story.

Step 1: You meet a man who is self-confident, perhaps a little cocky, and physically attractive.
Step 2: He presents himself as successful, popular, and important.
Step 3: He is smooth and charming.
Step 4: You feel an immediate sense of attraction-He may be the one!
Step 5: You start a relationship.
Step 6: For a brief time you are very excited — you may feel special or important.
Step 7: He becomes controlling and manipulative.
Step 8: He cheats on you.
Step 9: He still does enough positive things to keep you confused.
Step 10: You eventually realize that he might not be the guy he said he was.
Step 11: The relationship (finally!) ends.
Step 12: You keep thinking about this person: how could this person you cared for be so nasty?
Step 13: Your friends repeatedly assure you that he was no good, but it is still difficult to let go.

Now, compare this to the standard story about dating a decent guy:

Step 1: You meet a man who is genuinely nice and sincere.
Step 2: You go out a few times and get to know each other.
Step 3: You find that the more you know him, the more attracted you become.
Step 4: You get involved in a relationship where there is caring and emotional intimacy.
Step 5: The relationship might end (most relationships do) because of various circumstances.
Step 6: You do not feel confused about the relationship and may even remain friends with the man.

These episodes, of course, do not always happen exactly this way; sometimes various elements are different or missing and sometimes things are more complex. However, the first story is acted out again and again when women become involved with a certain type of man. After the relationship ends, many women don't know what hit them-they simply can't make sense out of the experience. Other women may have a hint that the person they were dating was a self-centered jerk or a "player." The truth is that the first story describes the standard romantic relationship with a narcissistic man. The focus of this book is on relationships with these men. My hope is that by reading this book you will:

o Gain insight into narcissistic men and their approach to relationships o Learn why you fall for narcissistic men o Discover techniques for analyzing your current and past relationships o Learn how to get over a past relationship with a narcissistic man o Learn how to avoid narcissistic men in the future

Meet the Author

W. Keith Campbell, PhD has studied narcissism and its effects on relationships for over 10 years. He is an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. Dr. Campbell has published articles in and/or been interviewed by numerous newspapers and magazines, including the New York Post, USA Today, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Shape Magazine and Men's Health. He lives in Athens, GA.

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When You Love A Man Who Loves Himself... 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 8 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am a clinical psychologist and occasionally get a patient who is married to or dating a man with a narcissistic personality disorder. I have recommended this book to at least a dozen of my patients, and typically I hear a 'this could have been written about my ex-boyfriend/boyfriend/husband' response. It has always been very helpful and a good augment to the psychotherapy.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book made so, so much sense. If you have been with a narcissist, then this book can help to understand many 'why?' questions.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was a real eye opener. I had so many moments of, 'Oh my! I dated him!! or 'I know him!' The book also made me laugh when I thought of friends who fit the profile. I really liked reading the stories of all the people. Not only did I laugh- I learned a lot! I gave the book to all my girlfriends!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have read a number of books on narcissism, both scholarly and self-help, I must say this one is the best hands down. What differentiates this book from most others is the author has been able to take complicated material and present it in a highly palatable way. He even includes steps to take to extricate yourself from these hurtful relationships. If I could only recommend one book on this topic, this is it!
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