White Girl Problems

White Girl Problems

4.1 173
by Babe Walker
     
 

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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab-that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's

Overview

Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab-that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as:

  • I hate my horse.
  • Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had.
  • He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince.
  • I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic.
In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Twitter feed phenomenon Babe Walker, the booze-fueled creation of brothers Tanner and David Oliver Cohen and gal pal Lara Schoenhals, makes the leap onto the printed page with a snarky, satirical diary/memoir of how the poor-little-rich-girl goes from the lap of luxury to rehab after a ,893.50 shopping spree meltdown at Barneys. "I'm standing on the snowcapped mountain of my life, and the horizon looks beautiful," Babe writes in the first entry of her rehab diary, followed by: "I don't know, I just copied most of that from one of the pamphlets they gave me. I'm on a lot of Ativan right now." With a friends-and-family circle consisting of her music-industry lawyer dad, Jamaican baby nurse Mabinty, frenemy Genevieve, and gay-guy BFF Roman, Babe is a chic shopaholic in search of a labiaplasty, a therapist, a job, and true love. She's also a confessed train wreck, and giddily invites you to stare. And just when you think you might finally need to look away, there's the impossibly startling—and hilarious—faux insight that keeps you hooked. Take Babe's wicked grandmother (think Auntie Mame), who delivers epistolary post-mortem advice that Babe takes to heart (and to rehab): "Never cry. It causes swelling." Agent: Byrd Leavell, Waxman Literary Agency. (Feb.)
From the Publisher
"I now have a girl crush on Babe Walker! Laugh-out-loud, pee-in-your-Cosabellas funny."—Tori Spelling, author of Uncharted TerriTori"

White Girl Problems makes me laugh a lot, and cry a little. It's about time someone drew our attention to the devastating reality: White girl problems are all around us . . . absolutely hysterical."—Susan Sarandon"

Babe Walker will be your new best friend and worst enemy. I loved it!"—Emma Roberts"

The epitome of the urban socialite you love to hate."—Time magazine"

A social satire in the guise of a memoir. . . . The most artful elements are the charming fashion illustrations peppered throughout Walker's half-million followers on Twitter and the public's bottomless appetite for news about real-life socialites like the Kardashians prove that a large audience for this story does exist."—Booklist

Tori Spelling
"I now have a girl crush on Babe Walker! Laugh-out-loud, pee-in-your-Cosabellas funny."
Susan Sarandon
"White Girl Problems makes me laugh a lot, and cry a little. It's about time someone drew our attention to the devastating reality: White girl problems are all around us . . . absolutely hysterical."
Emma Roberts
"Babe Walker will be your new best friend and worst enemy. I loved it!"
Time magazine
"The epitome of the urban socialite you love to hate."
Booklist
"A social satire in the guise of a memoir. . . . The most artful elements are the charming fashion illustrations peppered throughout Walker's half-million followers on Twitter and the public's bottomless appetite for news about real-life socialites like the Kardashians prove that a large audience for this story does exist."
Kirkus Reviews
Poor little rich girl Babe Walker hits rock bottom during a Barneys shopping spree in this faux memoir based on a popular Twitter feed. In a town (Los Angeles, naturally) filled with the chronically self-absorbed, Babe stands out. The precocious only child of a wildly successful British entertainment lawyer and a long-absent mystery woman, Babe is raised for the most part by her Jamaican nanny, Mabinty. Mabinty smokes a lot of weed and speaks with an exaggerated patois--or at least she does in Babe's point of view, which is none too reliable. Diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder at the tender age of 7, Babe has serious boundary issues. As a sophomore, she plots to lose her virginity to her gay best friend Roman (while they are dressed as Danny and Sandy from Grease). In her teens she lobbies a series of befuddled plastic surgeons for a labiaplasty, insisting that her vagina needs to be "cute and chic-er and more…me." She steals her file from her longtime therapist, Susan, and goes to five different colleges before deciding academia might not be her thing. And when she does meet a nice guy who actually likes her, she transforms into her alter ego Babette, a slutty stalker with an unfortunate taste for tacky chain restaurants. Showing some aptitude for fashion, Babe is understandably devastated when her line of high-end dashikis for African children fails, and soon after that another romantic disappointment triggers the mother of all retail binges. After spending a cool $246,893.50 at Barneys, she cops to needing some help and sends herself to Cirque Lodge, a Utah rehab facility. Once there, she resists actually changing but manages to bond with an alcoholic former model who might actually hold a key piece to the puzzle that is Babe. A pop-culture send-up with a troubled material girl anti-heroine. Although wickedly funny at times, this odd debut takes a shallow, cavalier attitude toward mental illness, anorexia and addiction.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781401324544
Publisher:
Hachette Books
Publication date:
01/31/2012
Edition description:
Original
Pages:
288
Sales rank:
78,963
Product dimensions:
5.25(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.75(d)
Age Range:
18 - 12 Years

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From the Publisher
"The epitome of the urban socialite you love to hate." —-Time

Meet the Author

Babe Walker lives (and very occasionally works) in LA. Her creators are David Oliver Cohen, Tanner Cohen, and Lara Schoenhals, all actors and writers who live in both New York and LA.

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White Girl Problems 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 173 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was an easy read (2 days), but it was not what i expected.... I saw the other reviews of "hilarious" and "must read" and didnt go much farther than that. While there were some parts that made me laugh, I ended up feeling sorry for the girl. And then at the end, I was disappointed that I contributed $8 and change to this girl who hasn't got a clue and will go on in life thinking she is successful, while she should feel embarrassed. Needless to say.... this wasn't what i expected. I thought it'd be more along the lines of Jenna Marbles, but it is not.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Like the author was just made a list everything she could think of that was shocking and tried to make a story around that. It was like rwading something when someone has used a thesaurus for a lot of words. It didn't flow. Bad.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So I grab this book for some light reading to pass the time as Im on the elliptical. As I got to about chapter 4 I thought to myself "Ive read this before"...but then thought again and realized I was reading a knockoff of "Clueless". The stories are a little different but basically same plot. Im surprised the writers of the movie didnt catch on to this book yet and sued the writer, its clearly the same story.
kerrilynn More than 1 year ago
I've been following White Girl Problems on twitter for quite some time now and loving each tweet. The book is just as entertaining as the tweets are, it sucked when I was done. The writing is great comedy, kind of like reading a Chelsea Handler book. The book made me want to be bff with and hate Babe Walker both at the same time. Very entertaining and I would highly reccommend.
eolhc More than 1 year ago
This is easily the most entertaining book i've ever read. I like funny & THIS is funny. Seriously... read it. Now.
FCBabette More than 1 year ago
Hands down, this is the most entertaining book I have read. Ever. If you haven't done so already, buy this book. You will laugh out loud at least 50 times.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
it was fun and interesting, wasn't wowed just pleased.
NiaJM More than 1 year ago
This Book Cracked Me all The way Up!!! I did Not want it to End :o( it was such a Fun read!! It was so Funny I brought a Copy for My BFF and she just loved it
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So I was looking for some funny fluff reading, where I was guaranteed not to learn anything, nor to gain any life lessons. I just wanted uplifting filler after surgery. I read GCB (HIGHLY recommend for this genre) and was hungry for more. This is based on a fictional character who was created through a twitter account. The writing is atrocious, the stories are ridiculous and worst of all, I didn't care about the main character. I got to chapter 3 and regretted my purchase. All I ask is that I love or hate the main character, but I just wanted her to go away.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Meh. I was underwhelmed - she's not THAT funny.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is completely hilarious. It had me laughing out loud through the whole thing. It definitely uplifted my spirits while at work.
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Sorry. Just trying to help.
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Flies up in the air. She looks down o the ground. Her long feathrytail swishes as she flies. She sees a eagle in the sky and swoops down. She catches the eagle. She gently lands on the ground and devours it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was chosen by a book club I was joining. This book was a total waste of my time and money. The author loves crude language and a crude shock to the reader. Im embarassed to have this filth on my nook. This book is complete trash.
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