White Hot Grief Parade: A Memoir

by Alexandra Silber

Overview

Alexandra "Al" Silber seems to have everything a teenager could want: brilliance, beauty, and talent in spades. But when her beloved father dies after a decade-long battle with cancer when she is just a teenager, it feels like the end of everything. Lost in grief, Al and her mother hardly know where to begin with the rest of their lives.

Into this grieving house burst Al's three friends from theater camp, determined to help out as only drama students know how--and they're moving in for the duration. Over the course of that winter, the now five-strong household will do battle with everything Death can throw at them--meddling relatives, merciless bureaucracy, soul-sapping sadness, the endless Tupperware. They will learn (almost) everything about love and will eventually return to the world, altered in different ways by their time in a home by a river.

Told with raw passion, candor, and wit, White Hot Grief Parade is an ode to the restorative power of family and friendship--and the unbreakable bond, even in death, between father and daughter.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781643132464
Publisher:	Pegasus Books
Publication date:	12/10/2019
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.65(d)

About the Author

Alexandra Silber is an actress and singer who starred most recently as Tzeitel in the Broadway revival of Fiddler on the Roof. She earlier played Hodel in the same show in London's West End. Those two roles inspired her to write After Anatevka. Her other Broadway, New York, and West End credits include Master Class, Arlington (Outer Critics Circle nomination), Carousel (TMA Award and Ovation Nomination), Kiss Me Kate, and Hello, Again (Drama League nomination). She received a Grammy nomination for her portrayal of Maria in the recording of West Side Story with the San Francisco Symphony. She has appeared on all three incarnations of "Law & Order" and has performed in a variety of concert outlets including the 57th Grammy Awards, Royal Albert Hall, and Carnegie Hall. She lives in New York.

Table of Contents

PART ONE: DEATH

Things I’d Tell My Seventeen-Year-Old Self 3

Pain Pills: A Prologue 7

The Dying 11

Al(ex(andra)) and Lilly 17

Kent 25

The Morning 29

Planning 37

Grey 43

Let Me Tell You about My Grandparents 49

Kinko’s 61

Writing the Eulogy 65

PART TWO: FUNERAL!

Love Keeps Going 77

The Protagonist Wishes to Reiterate Her Feelings toward Her Grandparents without Overdoing It 79

Funeral: A How-to Guide 81

Funeral-ku 85

Funeral: A Prologue to a Farce 87

Reception! Yet Another Farce 99

The Protagonist Attempts Existential Escape (A Diagram) 109

Edna 111

Funeral-ku Two 115

An Afterplay 117

PART THREE: THE AFTERMATH

Memories through Lenses 121

The Laugh 127

The Letter from Haley 131

Baby Steps 135

The State of Things 143

Only Connect 147

The Walk from 1367 153

Green Grow the Lilacs or, a Brief Non Sequitur of Vital Import 161

The Cat 163

The Bed of Death 167

“Psychic Mike” 171

Getting Over Your Grief 175

Opa 183

The Grandparental Gunfight 185

The Obligatory Autumn-to-Winter Montage 189

The Jehovah’s Witness 195

Another Letter from Kent 199

So, the Story about My Parents Goes Like This . . . 201

Big Trash Day 207

PART FOUR: THE AFTER-AFTERMATH

“I Wish” / “I Know” 215

Barren 219

Controversial-ku 223

A Trip to U of M 225

Rabbi Syme 229

The Protagonist Wishes to Express the Truth, However Cryptically: A Cryptogram 233

Full 235

Star of Wonder, Star of Night 239

Death Therapy 243

Where Memories Go 247

PART FIVE: TOMORROW

Emma and Her Dad 255

New Year: The Last Hurrah 259

The Morning After 267

Epilogue 269

Acknowledgements 275

Editorial Reviews

"Silber has written a rare showbiz memoir that holds more value
for the writing than the celebrity name-dropping or rags-to-black tie
trajectory. A witty and wise book." --Washington Post

"Silber's memoir is lovingly told and teems with magic." --Shelf Awareness

"Gifted storyteller, brilliant thinker, accomplished actor: Alexandra Silber is a consummate artist with a luminous voice on stage and page."--Pop Culturalist

"A sardonic memoir full of unexpected anxieties--and familial love."
--Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

Gifted storyteller, brilliant thinker, accomplished actor: Alexandra Silber is a consummate artist with a luminous voice on stage and page. A veteran of Broadway and the West End, Silber has performed in productions ranging from Fiddler on the Roof, Master Class, and The Woman in White to My Fair Lady, Murder on the Orient Express, and Carousel. In other words, she boasts an impressive resume that has enabled her to get to know a host of dynamic, singular characters. But Silber hasn’t been contented with just acting out other people’s stories—she has chosen to write her own stories, too. From Broadway to bookstores, Silber is at home wherever she gets to tell a good story.

Pop Culturalist

White Hot Grief Parade is as beautiful and honest look at the experience of losing a parent at one of the most influential years in a young person’s life. It’s both heart-warming and heart-wrenching—and often funny—as well as all of the other things that come with the chaotic moments that surround the death of someone you love. Having lost my mother at a similar age, I wish I had Ms. Silber’s inspiring story and words to let me know that I was not alone.

Andrew Briedis

White Hot Grief Parade is one of those extraordinarily rare, super special books that I immediately put into a safe, sacred space because I know I will return to it again and again: when I need a story of resilience, when I need to laugh, when I need to lose myself in a brilliant story, when I need to feel creatively inspired by a delightfully inventive writer, when I need emotional catharsis. Silber's prose is so vivid you feel like you're watching a movie, and so personal you feel like she's sitting the bar next to you late at night, indulging every one of your 'So then what happened?' prompts. It is a gift to spend time in her authentic, gentle, witty company while devouring this gorgeously raw book, and I highly recommend it to anyone who craves bold truth telling from one of the clearest and most captivating voices I've ever read.

Mari Andrew

If successful marks of a fond familial memoir include admiration and an intense sentiment of communal loss, Al Silber's White Hot Grief Parade knocks it out of the park. Silber's memoir is lovingly told and teems with magic.

Shelf Awareness (starred)

A remarkable tale of resilience, recounted by Silber with a spry inventiveness and deep sense of gratitude. This powerful and poignant memoir achingly reveals the many burdens facing those who lose a loved one, from the ways memories crop up unexpectedly to the small victories of learning to live again, offering hope for renewal.

Booklist

An inherently fascinating and deeply personal memoir written with an impressive candor and a genuine flair for narrative storytelling.

Midwest Book Review

Silber has written a rare showbiz memoir that holds more value for the writing than the celebrity name-dropping or rags-to-black tie trajectory. A witty and wise book.

Washington Post

"A remarkable tale of resilience, recounted by Silber with a spry inventiveness and deep sense of gratitude. This powerful and poignant memoir achingly reveals the many burdens facing those who lose a loved one, from the ways memories crop up unexpectedly to the small victories of learning to live again, offering hope for renewal."

Booklist

"Silber has written a rare showbiz memoir that holds more value for the writing than the celebrity name-dropping or rags-to-black tie trajectory. A witty and wise book."

Washington Post

A phenomenal story, all sensitively balanced with perfect timing. Gorgeous and captivating.

Historical Novels Review (Editor's Choice) [Praise for "After Anatevka"]

A phenomenal story, all sensitively balanced with perfect timing. Gorgeous and captivating.

Historical Novels Review (Editor's Choice) [praise for 'After Anatevka']

Silber is a masterful storyteller with a poet’s gift for language and a romantic’s heart. Her novel is pure joy.

Tony award-winning actor Jason Alexander [praise for 'After Anatevka']

Gifted storyteller, brilliant thinker, accomplished actor: Alexandra Silber is a consummate artist with a luminous voice on stage and page. A veteran of Broadway and the West End, Silber has performed in productions ranging from Fiddler on the Roof, Master Class, and The Woman in White to My Fair Lady, Murder on the Orient Express, and Carousel. In other words, she boasts an impressive resume that has enabled her to get to know a host of dynamic, singular characters. But Silber hasn’t been contented with just acting out other people’s stories—she has chosen to write her own stories, too. From Broadway to bookstores, Silber is at home wherever she gets to tell a good story.”

Pop Culture

Silber’s characters sing. A shocking ending will undoubtedly leave readers wanting even more.

Foreword Reviews (starred) [praise for 'After Anatevka']

2018-05-01
An actress and singer struggles through her father's illness and the aftermath of his death.Silber (After Anatevka, 2017), who has performed on Broadway and London's West End, was a young child when she became aware that her father had cancer. Quickly, her life was organized around her father's imminent passing, with systematic chemotherapy treatments, medical trials, and the threat of abandonment. "I rigorously took on the task of providing my parents with a perfect child: a singular source of hope and joy and promise," writes the author. "It was in this internal atmosphere that I smothered myself, believing in my bones that any problem, mistake, even the tiniest of transgressions, was my contribution to not curing cancer." The narrative moves among sections that explore what happened before, during, and after the death of her father, focusing especially on the funeral. "Funerals are a social mystery," she writes, "a formulaic social mystery, but mysterious nonetheless….You just muddle through each funeral, hoping you're doing the right thing, and then you largely forget about it until you have to muddle through it again the next time." Of course, her father's funeral was far from forgettable. Rather, it was full of memorable interactions with family members that left the author numb, shaken, and, ultimately, scarred for life. Though the subject matter of the memoir is heavy, Silber's tone is full of optimism and irreverence, effectively keeping readers engaged as they travel through their darkest thoughts. Throughout, the author includes original haiku, frequent discussions of her favorite movie, What About Bob?, bits of scripted conversations between her and her family members, lovers, and friends, and a host of funny diagrams. "You know what's awesome? Irony," she writes. "People my age learned what it means from Alanis Morissette, so our grasp is tenuous at best, but when it plays out over life and death situations it can get pretty trippy."A sardonic memoir full of unexpected anxieties—and familial love.

Kirkus Reviews