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Movie Versions of Books
There is nothing like curling up in bed with a good book, enjoying the lyrical language of a mastera literary fest free of advertising and product placement. (What if Moby Dick contained the line, “‘Call me Ishmael,’ he said as he unwrapped a delicious Charleston Chew”?) Reading is a much more satisfying experience than sitting amongst giggling tweens, spending $19 on a Pepsi and some Junior Mints, and having your feet gradually fuse to the sticky floor beneath you. Reading allows you to use this thing called your imagination. Seriously, how many times have you uttered something like, I just can’t picture Miley Cyrus in the role of Madame Bovary? But there is one advantage to movie versions of books: They help sell books! If the movie version is so great, why does everyone run out and buy the book after seeing the movie? Think about it.
MOVIE VERSIONS OF BOOKS
Movies make all those complicated nuances and obscure allusions typical of books easier to digest. Plus, they are an awesome way to cram for that English final tomorrow morning. Hollywood does us the favor of casting attractive people in the leads, even if the role is a malnourished Slavic peasant with rickets. It’s a basic human drive: We want to sit back and be entertained while gorging ourselves on preposterously sized high-fructose-corn-syrup-based treats. Ever try consuming a giant tub of popcorn and an extra-large Cherry Coke while reading? It’s logistically impossible. The butter makes the pages stick together. Not to mention that books appear to be going the same way as the dodo and the newspaper. Maybe if books had product placement and previews they could compete in the marketplace.