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Posted September 28, 2009
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Whose Face is in the Mirror was one of the first books I read on the topic of domestic violence. Since I am an author of a similar story (Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story), Whose Face was recommended to me by a professor of social work who had heard Dianne Schwartz speak. At the time of my initial reading, in 2001, the book seemed to be one of a small number of real-life stories of recovery from abuse. It is a heart-wrenching story about domestic violence, and equally important is its heart-warming message of hope.
The book is divided into three parts. In Part I, Dianne shares the abuse she endured from her husband (at the time). She tells the story so that other victims realize they are not alone. Part II covers Dianne's journey to healing through therapy. She reveals the lessons she learned from her therapist. Her insights help others understand the causes and effects of domestic abuse. Schwartz also admits mistakes she made as a mother, as she reflects on how domestic abuse affects children. In Part III, Dianne explains the ongoing process of a healing journey. She encourages readers to find a mission based not on ego and pride, but on love and compassion.
While reading this book, you will see how domestic abuse emerges and escalates. You may also realize that the reasons for staying in an abusive relationship are perhaps excuses that prevent change. Dianne reveals the advice that did not work (such as pray, fast, and submit). Then, she tells how she left her abusive husband, and what she did to reclaim her identity. She explains how the use of bright, feminine colors helped her to define herself authentically, and not as an appendage of an abusive man. In chapter 18, "Lies and Truths", Ms. Schwartz explains the stereo-types and myths that keeps us trapped in toxic relationships, and how to improve our perspective.
Whose Face is in the Mirror is a memoir about domestic violence that is not graphic, dramatic, or sensationalized. We might expect a former Mrs. Arizona, Dianne Schwartz, to write about her glamorous life of a celebrity. Instead, we learn of a generous survivor of domestic violence who founded an organization to educate on the topic: Educating Against Domestic Violence.
Posted September 25, 2004
I had ordered this book for a friend who is in an abusive relationship, hoping she may see the light before it's to late, if she reads it. I couldn't give her the book, just so she would read it not knowing myself what the book was all about so I opened it up and began to read it. It hit home for me. I have never been in a domestic violence relationship with a partner. My domestic violence came from as a child. Her father sounded just like my mother. I cried while reading this book. It brought out so many emotional and physical abuse memories from when I was growing up. I had realized that it has affected my life, I just didn't know how until I read this book. This book opened up a sprititual healing for me. It showed me that abuse comes in so many different ways and the sad part is, it normally comes from someone we are suppose to or want to love. I am now on a path to change things in my life, and I have to say thank you to Diane Schwartz, for writing this book. If you have endured any type of abuse in your life, Read This Book. It will open a door you may have thought was locked and sealed.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 5, 2003
If you know a woman in an abusive relationship, give her this book! It is the most honest and outspoken book on domestic violence I've ever read. Ms. Schwartz has obviously lived the horror of an abusive marriage but more important, she shares how she found the nerve and intelligence to finally leave. She shares her insight generously.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 1, 2000
Dianne left no stone unturned in this book as far as appealing to the issues that battered women deal with - why we stay, how being abused affects our thinking patterns, our health and our spirit, how we attract abusers, how we convince ourselves to live in denial, the lies we tell ourselves, how to get to the bottom of it, where to go for help and how to heal. The story was told from the viewpoint of a woman who has recovered. She takes us back, shares her experience and focuses on HER part in it. I liked that when she went back and told her story, she never degraded or beat herself up for the bad choices she made, felt sorry for herself, nor did she make excuses. Her focus was entirely on helping the victim understand why/how she got into a relationship like this, what caused her to stay, and how to find the strength to not only leave, but to get well. She doesn't pull any punches in this book. She exposes the myriad of lies and myths that keep many women trapped in abusive relationships. (He's stressed out from his job, he had a bad childhood, he's sorry, he will change, it's not him it's the alcohol, I don't have scriptural grounds for divorce, etc.) She also shares the learning process she went through as she was going through therapy. We get to sit on the couch beside her and watch the whole thing take place. I don't know that I've ever read another book like it. I've read books from the viewpoint of the victim before, but not one where a woman was gutsy enough to take full responsibility without blame and use her experiences to teach others. It is truly more of a teaching tool than a sad story. I think it will help a lot of women!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.