Whose Kids Are These Anyway? True Confessions of a Family Man

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Overview

In the tradition of Erma Bombeck and Bill Cosby, Ken Swarner explores the world of parents and kids, the enormous differences between sons and daughters, and provides assorted tips on coping with bosses, angry spouses and uncooperative breast pumps (Ken's wife helped with that one). Whose Kids Are These Anyway? is a hilarious look at parenting that will have you nodding in agreement and laughing out loud.
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Overview

In the tradition of Erma Bombeck and Bill Cosby, Ken Swarner explores the world of parents and kids, the enormous differences between sons and daughters, and provides assorted tips on coping with bosses, angry spouses and uncooperative breast pumps (Ken's wife helped with that one). Whose Kids Are These Anyway? is a hilarious look at parenting that will have you nodding in agreement and laughing out loud.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Barbara Lloyd McMichael
I enjoyed Swarner's take on American family life, 21st century style.
Tacoma News Tribune, 5/11/03
Publishers Weekly
Raising children can be both extremely exhilarating and mind-numbingly frustrating, and Swarner neatly sums up both emotions in this compendium of entertaining anecdotes and plentiful one-liners. The book showcases Swarner's easy style and comic timing, as he deals with everything from listening patiently to his kids' knock-knock jokes to participating in the family hike from hell. Indeed, Swarner writes, his experiences might serve as an "effective birth control program" for today's teens. Without an occasional serious moment or poignant reflection to vary the pacing, the jokes do sometimes come at readers like gunfire. But the author's unreserved honesty in the face of adversity ("I haven't had a good night's sleep since 1990") should ultimately win them over. Swarner honed his observational skills while writing his syndicated column, The Family Man, and it shows: he has a knack for finding humor in any parental situation. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
April 2003
Publishers Weekly
Raising children can be both extremely exhilarating and mind-numbingly frustrating, and Swarner neatly sums up both emotions in this compendium of entertaining anecdotes and plentiful one-liners. The book showcases Swarner's easy style and comic timing, as he deals with everything from listening patiently to his kids' knock-knock jokes to participating in the family hike from hell. Indeed, Swarner writes, his experiences might serve as an "effective birth control program" for today's teens. Without an occasional serious moment or poignant reflection to vary the pacing, the jokes do sometimes come at readers like gunfire. But the author's unreserved honesty in the face of adversity ("I haven't had a good night's sleep since 1990") should ultimately win them over. Swarner honed his observational skills while writing his syndicated column, The Family Man, and it shows: he has a knack for finding humor in any parental situation. (May 6) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780399528811
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 5/6/2003
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 5.16 (w) x 7.98 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Table of Contents

Foreword: Judgment Day vii
1. My Rookie Year 1
2. Boy, Oh Boy! 11
3. Daddy's Little Girl 25
4. Go Ask Your Mother 37
5. Father Knows Least 57
6. Let's Go Crazy 81
7. Serving Two Masters 95
8. That's the Spirit! 121
9. No Expense Spared 149
10. Family Togetherness 167
11. Minding Your P's and Q's 187
12. Didn't I Already Graduate? 205
13. For Better or for Worse 225
14. Counting My Blessings 241
15. Who Volunteered Me? 251
16. Calgon, Take Me Away! 267
17. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells 275
18. Season of Change 285
Epilogue: It's Worth the Effort 291
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 11 )
Rating Distribution

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(8)

4 Star

(1)

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Sort by: Showing all of 11 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 25, 2003

    What a fun book

    I enjoyed reading this book so much. I can relate to the grandparents since they are probably closer to my age. It is so nice to read something that is humorous with all the bad things that are going on in the world. I hope Mr Swarner writes another book to update us on the continuing saga of being a family man

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 26, 2003

    Starts out hilarious but...

    I've been reading the author's 'Family Man' column for about a year now. He's never failed to make me laugh out loud so I was really looking forward to reading this book. The first three chapters had me laughing so hard that my wife kept poking her head into my office to make sure that I was still breathing. After that the book falls flat and gets repetitive. I think what did it in for me was all of the holiday stories. There's what, about three Thanksgiving stories, two or three Halloween stories, two Easter stories, you get the idea. Also, every time the author's wife is mentioned she is either planning an event with an attention to detail that borders on neurotic or she's locked in the closet hiding from the children. How many times can you use 'why is mommy locked in the closet?' as a punchline before it gets old? Another issue that I had was that the stories didn't seem to follow a consistant timeline. The author seems to swing back and forth between speaking about an infant/toddler to school age children, to teenagers and back. All in all I think that the author is a master of the short-story format. Expanding his thoughts into a full-length book needs some work.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 9, 2003

    If you're a parent, read it. You could use the laugh!

    A humorous look at raising children from a fathers point of view. If we can find humor in our struggle, we will make it through. Thoroughly enjoyable!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 10, 2003

    Laugh out loud funny!

    This is hilarious book full of essays that will really strike a chord with parents everywhere. I found myself laughing out loud several times throughout the reading of this book. The stories that Ken Swarner relates here are great to read at the end of an especially trying day. The situations that arise are hilarious, yet contain enough universal truths that parents all over the globe will probably find themselves smiling and thinking 'Been there, done that!' It's nice to know that food fights, homework struggles, and other assorted mischief occur in other places besides your own home. If you are a parent, a grandparent, or just would like to have some great laughs, I heartily recommend this book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 11, 2003

    Parenting is a HOOT!!

    I didn't think anyone could make everyday life as funny as the wonderful author Erma Bombeck, but Ken has certainly changed my mind..He is right on with his views of family life...It is a learning experience indeed! If only we could all learn to laugh at ourselves...and everyday situations!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 9, 2003

    The Earth Keeps on Quaking

    Ken is right up there with the Bernstiens 'Have a Baby my Wife Just had a Cigar'! He surprizes me how truly we are linked as parents in my day and now my childrens and grandchildrens day. Is there no end to this madness???? ;)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2003

    Starts out hilarious but...

    I've been reading the author's 'Family Man' column for about a year now. He's never failed to make me laugh out loud so I was really looking forward to reading this book. The first three chapters had me laughing so hard that my wife kept poking her head into my office to make sure that I was still breathing. After that the book falls flat and gets repetitive. I think what did it in for me was all of the holiday stories. There's what, about three Thanksgiving stories, two or three Halloween stories, two Easter stories, you get the idea. Also, every time the author's wife is mentioned she is either planning an event with an attention to detail that borders on neurotic or she's locked in the closet hiding from the children. How many times can you use 'why is mommy locked in the closet?' as a punchline before it gets old? Another issue that I had was that the stories didn't seem to follow a consistant timeline. The author seems to swing back and forth between speaking about an infant/toddler to school age children, to teenagers and back. All in all I think that the author is a master of the short-story format. Expanding his thoughts into a full-length book needs some work.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2003

    A great read

    It is a proven fact, that laughing produces endorphins. When we produce endorphins we strengthen our immune system thus leading a healthier life. 'Whose kid Are These Anyway', was the best immune builder I've received in a very long time. I laughed out loud numerous time when reading it. I highly recommend it to anybody that needs a good to laugh. Ken Swarner is a brilliant

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2003

    I have a side ache

    This book is laugh out loud funny from start to finish. I swear it's written about my family. Finally, a book that doesn't tell me what to do as a parent, but instead, just makes me feel better about the whole thing. I can't wait until Mr. Swarner writes his next book!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 9, 2003

    ken is easy reading - very enjoyable

    ken is easy reading - very enjoyable i look forward to his colm each week and i look forward to buying this book...!!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 14, 2003

    I have a confession to make

    I have a confession to make. 'Parenting is a lot harder than I thought!' I should know - I've giving it my best shot. I've been a PTA president, Cub Scout leader, classroom volunteer, homework warden. In my new humor book, Whose Kids Are These Anyway? I shed light on the state of modern day families. 'They're hectic! All across the globe, parents are carpooling kids from soccer to ballet, shopping for dinner through a take-out window, completing parent-child homework assignments, and feeling guilty over a wide range of situations. They don't tell you about this in Lamaze class!' Despite the cookie cutter advice from psychologists, pediatricians and my mother, I have learned 'the truth' - parenting is just plain difficult. Period. There are no easy fixes - no miracles - no obedience classes offered for children. It's all about surviving the toils of daycare, childless co-workers and breast pumps only to be rewarded for this hard work by entering the teenage years! So take stock in the fact that my kids are obnoxious, loud, and chew with their mouths open. Whose Kids Are These Anyway? is the common parent's coping strategy. A laugh-out loud trip through my life as I've asked for paternity leave, built a homework jail, and sold undraisers to frustrated family and friends. It will have readers feeling better about their ow

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