Why Do Men Fall Asleep after Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor after Your Third Whiskey Sour [NOOK Book]

Overview

The Doctor Is In . . . Again!

Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? No, you say? Well, good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are in! Again! Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., now take on the differences between the sexes -- those burning questions like Why doesn’t my husband ever listen? or Why does my wife ALWAYS have to pee? And of course, Why do ...

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Why Do Men Fall Asleep after Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor after Your Third Whiskey Sour

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Overview

The Doctor Is In . . . Again!

Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? No, you say? Well, good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are in! Again! Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., now take on the differences between the sexes -- those burning questions like Why doesn’t my husband ever listen? or Why does my wife ALWAYS have to pee? And of course, Why do men fall asleep after sex?, plus plenty of others to keep you fully informed.

Full of smart and funny answers to an onslaught of new questions, all in a do-ask-we’ll-tell spirit that entertain and teaches you something at the same time, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? offers the real lowdown on everything everyone wants to know about all things anatomical, medical, sexual, nutritional, animal, and mineral, but would only ask a physician after a few too many, like:

  • Why do you have a "bionic" sense of smell when you’re pregnant?
  • Does peeing in the shower cure athlete’s foot?
  • Is a dog’s mouth clean?
  • Can you breastfeed with fake boobs?
  • Does thumb sucking cause buckteeth?
  • Do your eyebrows grow back if shaved?

Bigger, funnier, and better than ever, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? proves that in the battle of the sexes, as in most things, a little Q&A is a safe, effective, minimally invasive remedy.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307352712
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 7/25/2006
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 290,103
  • File size: 426 KB

Meet the Author

Mark Leyner is the author of My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist; Tooth Imprints on a Corndog; I Smell Esther Williams; Et Tu Babe; and The Tetherballs of Bougainville. He has written scripts for a variety of film and television shows, and his work appears regularly in The New Yorker, Time, and GQ. Billy Goldberg, M.D., is an emergency medicine physician on faculty at a New York City teaching hospital. He is also a writer and artist whose paintings have been exhibited in New York City. Together, they are the authors of the number one New York Times bestseller Why Do Men Have Nipples?
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Read an Excerpt

Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?


By Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, MD

Random House

Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, MD
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0307345971


Chapter One


BATTLE OF THE SEXES

It's 9 A.M. Leyner and I are sitting in our office, awaiting our first patients.

After finishing Why Do Men Have Nipples?, we decided to go into practice together. Leyner's BA in English and Masters in creative writing hardly qualified him to treat patients, and his adamant refusal to seek higher medical education didn't help matters. (Leyner was violently opposed to the idea of attending school again. During a rather heated discussion of the issue, he smashed a printer we'd just purchased for our new office, and scrawled an adolescent vulgarity on a print of Van Gogh's Sunflowers hanging in the hallway.)

When Leyner regained his composure, we realized that the thing that made our partnership work was our fanatical mutual admiration, our boundless love of arcane medical matters and our capacity to talk endlessly about our own insecurities and desires, and the personal crises and dilemmas in which life occasionally ensnares us. For some bizarre reason, people other than the two of us seem to be interested in what we have to say. . . . We finally agreed that if Dr. Phil could do it on TV, why couldn't we offer our learned and empathic counseling services. This would preclude the needfor advanced degrees, and, I also figured it was a way to safely keep medical instruments and sharp surgical devices out of Leyner's emotionally unstable grasp.

Our office assistant, Wendy Thurston, who was recently fired from her position as senior editor at Half a Dozen Ponds Press after she was arrested for shoplifting lipstick from a Rite Aid, escorted our first patients of the day into our office. They were a young couple. The woman was attractive, conservatively dressed, and-at first glance-seemed somewhat despondent. Her husband, dragging behind, seemed more interested in the defaced painting in the hallway than in being here to address "issues" with his inexplicably unfulfilled wife.

"Who wrote 'sniff my crotch' on the Van Gogh out there?" he asked as he took a seat next to his wife. "I love it!!!" he guffawed, slapping his thighs.

His wife grimaced with chagrin. "You see," she said, "I married a philistine and a troglodyte."

"Insult me in English, you pretentious bitch!," the husband replied. Leyner assumed a fighting stance-the Drunken Crane pose of the Shaolin School.

I remembered the last time that Leyner assaulted a patient and hoping to avoid more litigation, I interceded and suggested that Leyner's pose is the typical noncommunicative and defensive position that spouses take and that this impedes further discussion. A dissapointed Leyner shrugged in agreement and slouched into his leather armchair.

As I turned to the fuming couple, I asked them to role-play with us. I offered to play the husband to our female patient and Leyner enthusiastically embraced the opportunity to play wife to the man.

I began, "Sometimes patients feel more open and honest with a surrogate spouse, so I want you to tell me exactly what you need from me in this marriage." Sheepishly the woman responded, "I need a partner, a soul mate, someone to talk to. Sometimes I just want to be heard. I don't need someone to solve all my problems, I just need someone to hold me and listen." The husband jumped at the chance to answer his wife, but I stopped him.

"I want you to respond to Leyner as if he were your wife. This will keep the two of you from becoming defensive and allow you to see each other's point of view."

Confused, the husband looked at the beaming Leyner and said, "I listen, I hold you, but it's always the things that I don't do. I feel like you don't appreciate the things that I do. I barbecue, I walk the dog, I take out the garbage, I even put down the toilet seat. What do you want me to do? Lactate?"

Leyner rose from his chair red-faced, tears welling in his eyes, spittle flying from his mouth as he gesticulated with melodramatic hysteria.

"Bastard . . . You stole my youth and now you're drowning my soul in your vile bullshit. You make love to me as if I were some inflatable doll-pumping for a minute or two, while you watch Sports Center and then losing consciousness. You're torturing me . . . I hate you. I HATE YOU!!!"

Tears streamed down Leyner's face as he wept uncontrollably. The couple sat silently, completely and utterly confused.

So much for the role-playing. Unfortunately there is no easy solution to the Battle of the Sexes but here are some answers. . . .



WHY DO WOMEN PEE MORE THAN MEN?

Any man who has taken a long car trip with a woman truly believes that women need to pee more than men. As we speed down the highway and begrudgingly pull into another rest stop, we wonder whether this is the result of a genetic difference, obsessive water consumption, or a vicious plan to throw us off schedule.

If you happened to be leafing through the February 5, 2005, edition of The Journal of Urology, you could begin to find an answer. Doctors reviewed twenty-four-hour "urinary diaries" of both men and women and recorded fluid intake and urinary frequency. They found that women do pee more often than men but not because they drink more. In fact, men generally have higher fluid intake but don't need to go as often. When men finally feel the urge, they tend to pee in higher volumes than women. This is because men have a larger bladder capacity. That means smaller bladders in the ladies. Women are also more likely to suffer from overactive bladder syndrome which makes them go even more. No wonder the line is always longer at the ladies' room.

Diaries and memoirs are a red-hot genre these days. There's The Diary of Anne Frank, Che Guevara's Motorcycle Diaries, The Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant, Karrine Steffans' Confessions of a Video Vixen, and, of course, James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. But, if you're inspired by literary ambition, and decide to keep and then publish your Urine Diary, be aware that it will most probably be classified as "nonfiction." You must account accurately for each and every drop, with absolutely no embellishment or hyperbole. Remember-if you fib in your Urine Diary, it could really piss off Oprah.


WHY DO WOMEN HAVE SMALLER FEET THAN MEN?

Overall, women are smaller than men. The "why" is an evolutionary question that is too complex for us to answer here. But the ways in which men and women differ anatomically is more approachable. Male and female feet differ in size relative to stature. Men of the same height as women tend to have longer and wider feet.

When you compare a male and female foot of the same size, the woman's foot will have a higher arch, a shallower first toe, a shorter ankle length, and a smaller instep. Women also have larger calf circumferences.

Women seem to have an incredible knack for disregarding the shape of their feet and forcing them into ever smaller and pointier high heels. This callous disregard makes the foot differences between the genders even greater by ultimately changing the natural shape of female feet. In 1993, it was reported by the American Orthopedic Foot and Ankle Society, that 88 percent of the women surveyed wore shoes smaller than their actual foot size. No wonder our wives are constantly patching their traumatized feet with Band-Aids and tape.


ARE MEN BETTER THAN WOMEN AT MATH?

Danger! Danger! Answering this question incorrectly may force us to sleep on the couch with our wives beating us with the infamous Teen Talk Barbie that was programmed to say, "Math is hard!"

Harvard University president Lawrence Summers stepped into this minefield in 2005, when he suggested that biological differences might be one of the reasons that fewer women are in the fields of science and engineering. His speech led many professors to protest his statement, and others threatened to withhold donations. Several days later, Summers was forced to apologize. And he has since resigned.

So here are some facts (though these are often debated). . . .

The brains of men and women are definitely different. Women's brains are generally about 10 percent smaller than men's, but this is meaningless when it comes to intelligence. Men and women show no disparity in general intelligence. There are, however, some areas with slight variances. Women are better at visual memory, mathematical calculation, and get better school grades in mathematics. Men, however, are better at mentally rotating shapes, mathematical problem-solving, and score higher on mathematical word problems and on tests of mathematical reasoning.

Whether you agree or disagree on the interpretation of the available data, sociologists generally agree that social factors exaggerated any differences touted in the past. Women are clearly underrepresented in certain scientific fields such as math, engineering, and physics, but women now comprise more than 50 percent of medical students.

In the interest of gender harmony, let's create a new politically correct, asexual Barbie who says something neutral like "Cognitively rotating abstract shapes can be a daunting task-I prefer mathematical calculation and more linguistically complex and empathy-centered forms of interpersonal communication." Fun!


Excerpted from Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? by Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, MD Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 18 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 18 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 8, 2013

    Eh...

    You would think it would be as good as the first

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 27, 2010

    Not as good as "Why Do Men Have Nipples"

    This was a decent follow up to the previous book "Why Do Men Have Nipples?" but I found far fewer new and interesting material. Maybe it's just that I knew more about the specific areas they talked about this time around, but I don't recall learning anything particularly new or having any fodder for discussion.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 11, 2009

    Learn while being entertained.

    Excellent read, a perfect combination of information and entertainment. I've enjoyed this series of books and this is one of the best. I did not allow the usefulness, inpiration, or motivation ratings to bring down the overall rating because none of those is the reason I bought this book. I bought it purely for entertainment and curiosity and it satisfied both of those admirably.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 20, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Why do men fall asleep after sex?

    Extremely interesting and very creative. The commentary is hilarious.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 26, 2007

    A love/hate relationship...

    If you are in the mood for some lighthearted reading, this is the book to read. Lots of fun facts, and you get a glimpse of the difficulties involved in compiling a book. You also find out that the authors regularly check their reviews online.(!) The biggest complaint is the use of instant messages it comes across as filler, but you get a glimpse of who the authors really are. Don't judge the book too harshly it's just a bit of fun.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 17, 2006

    Good time-filler

    Get this from the library and enjoy while you're coloring your hair or painting your toenails. Otherwise, you'll be greatly disappointed. It's kind of cute and informative, but after awhile, I couldn't have cared less about the 'why' of some things.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 13, 2006

    Informative and Funny

    Some of the questions, let alone the answers, I'd never given a second thought so I enjoyed this book nearly as much as the author's 'Why Do Men Have Nipples?' (Better,more relevant title and content if you ask me.)

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 4, 2006

    Funny!

    Very funny book and I enjoyed it almost as much as the first one these guys wrote! Can't wait for their third!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 22, 2006

    Fun Stuff

    I was walking out of an airport store when I saw this book on the shelf grabbed it and went back to the checkout counter. It was a welcome bit of humor for my otherwise sad day. I read the first book 'Why do Men have Nipples?' and enjoyed this one just as much. I particularly liked the little introductions to each chapter and the reference to Battle Royale.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 2, 2006

    I was waiting for part two

    I got this book on my way home from my honeymoon.I was hoping for a part two,to WHy do men have nipples.I laughed the whole time i read this book.I couldn't put it down.Now I am waiting on part three.

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    Posted October 25, 2008

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    Posted July 18, 2010

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