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Why Dogs Are Better than Republicans...and Other Political Animals

Overview

Why are dogs better than Republicans? Well, for one thing, you can neuter ill-tempered dogs, but there's really nothing you can do about Rush Limbaugh. Also, when dogs don't get their way they don't shut down the government and, when last checked, no dog had ever voted for Jesse Helms.

Jennifer Berman presents these and many more hilarious observations on the superiority of canines over the party of the elephant (though she does throw them the occasional bone: Why are dogs ...

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Overview

Why are dogs better than Republicans? Well, for one thing, you can neuter ill-tempered dogs, but there's really nothing you can do about Rush Limbaugh. Also, when dogs don't get their way they don't shut down the government and, when last checked, no dog had ever voted for Jesse Helms.

Jennifer Berman presents these and many more hilarious observations on the superiority of canines over the party of the elephant (though she does throw them the occasional bone: Why are dogs better than Democrats? Unlike Clinton, they have vertebrae). The perfect gift book, it is sure to have Democrats, Republicans and all dog lovers howling with laughter.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060927721
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/28/1996
  • Pages: 80
  • Product dimensions: 5.24 (w) x 7.43 (h) x 0.26 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

Dogs believe in total freedom of expression

Dogs can't get away with blaming foreign dogs for local problems
Would you believe the Mexican Hairless did it?

Cheesy dog acts from the '70s wouldn't run for Congress
'Scuse me--are you registered to vote?
You got me,babe!

Dogs do not wrap themselves in the flag to further their own agenda
Any less than eight biscuits a day is downright un-American!

Dogs are not scared of Feminist

When a dog's done with a tree, it's still standing

Dogs are completely disinterested in your sexuality

Bad dogs are not put on stamps

Dogs think the curriculum could use some expansion

A dog would never keep a diary documenting all the bad things he did
Dear Diary, I finally figured out how to get into the trash knocking it over! Now they'll never catch me! Then for lunch I chewed up a really nice Italian shoe...

You're allowed to stop the proliferation of ill-tempered dogs
Should we clean Rush's teethwhile he's being fixed?

Dogs are not responsible for electing Jesse Helms

You can stick a dog in the back of Air Force One and it won't try to shut down the whole Government in retaliation

There's nothing scary about young dogs

Rich dogs don't feel as if they must breed only among themselves

Illegal dog waste won't kill you, and it doesn't cost millions to clean up

Not all dogs are owned by cigarette lobbyists

Dogs value the elderly, even when they require medical care

Dogs do not judge other dogs by the color of their fur
Mom, Dad-I think I'm in love

Does he have bad breath? Is he vaccinated? How does his butt smell? Does he share biscuits? Does he Fetch?

Dangerous dog groups are not allowed to have weapons

Dogs are into solar heating

Dogs would never bust a union

Dogs are loyal to their workers
Sure, she has her faults, but she's been with me since I was weaned--I could never let her go

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