Why Don't I Do the Things I Know are Good For Me?: Taking Small Steps Toward Improving the Big Picture

Overview

Women know what they should be doing, but still often don't do it. Gallagher explores the reasons why, and helps women to help themselves.

Women know what they ought to do-eat right, exercise more, get plenty of rest, save money, and make smart decisions in their own best interest. But instead, it seems that women often take care of everyone else, yet neglect themselves. It's time they realize they're not hopeless or helpless. Here, sociologist and self-care expert BJ Gallagher ...

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Why Don't I Do the Things I Know are Good For Me?: Taking Small Steps Toward Improving the Big Picture

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Overview

Women know what they should be doing, but still often don't do it. Gallagher explores the reasons why, and helps women to help themselves.

Women know what they ought to do-eat right, exercise more, get plenty of rest, save money, and make smart decisions in their own best interest. But instead, it seems that women often take care of everyone else, yet neglect themselves. It's time they realize they're not hopeless or helpless. Here, sociologist and self-care expert BJ Gallagher shares fifty-two ways they can put themselves first on their priority list-rather than last.

The book begins by exploring the most common reasons women don't take good care of themselves, and how those barriers can be overcome once they are recognized. Readers will discover step by step how small changes can have a big impact; how to replace poor habits with good ones; and finally, how to avoid the "quick fix" traps. BJ Gallagher's tips, tools, and suggestions will guide every woman to a life she deserves-taking better care of themselves and their loved ones.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

As Gallagher (Everything I Need To Know I Learned from Other Women) points out here, there is no simple answer to the titular question, although most people have asked it. The crux of the problem: People tend to allow short-term concerns (e.g., hunger) to outweigh long-term self-interests (e.g., exercising). Gallagher elaborates on why and then provides 52 ways to override human tendencies, including going on a media fast. Her clear, practical treatment of a common but rarely tackled problem elevates this book above the usual self-help dreck.


—Deborah Bigelow
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780425219652
  • Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 6/2/2009
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 972,255
  • Product dimensions: 5.46 (w) x 8.22 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

BJ Gallagher is a dynamic workshop leader, a charismatic keynote speaker, a relationship expert and a much published inspirational author. She writes a regular column for me* magazine, which is given to every person who sees Menopause: The Musical.
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Table of Contents

Introduction: The Gap between What I know and What I do xv

Section I Why?: Why Don't I do what I know is Good for Me? 1

1 Immediate relief from stress or pain is often more compelling than our rational self-interest. 5

2 Childhood conditioning keeps us trapped; low or erratic self-esteem plagues us.. 10

3 Good self-care is not fun, interesting, engaging, or tasty. It's boring and bland-who wants that? 15

4 Advertising, marketing, and the media undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence. 18

5 The historical/cultural role of women in the world gives us second-class status, making it difficult to feel good about ourselves. 25

6 Addictions (overeating, shopping, alcohol, pills, men, work, etc.) keep us stuck-unable to do what's good for us. 33

7 Some of us suffer from depression. It's hard to take good care of yourself when you feel like sh☆t. 40

Section II How?: How can we change our habits of Self-Care? 45

1 First, just notice what you do and what you don't do. Don't try to change anything-just notice. 51

2 Pay attention to the words you use-in self-talk and in conversations with others. 54

3 Give up the struggle. Make peace with who you are today. 57

4 Don't let what you can't do stop you from what you can do. 60

5 Catch yourself doing something right (or approximately right). Then pat yourself on the back for it. 62

6 Self-care doesn't mean selfish. 65

7 Help is not a four-letter word. Get support from others. No one can do it for you, but you can't do it alone. 68

8 Let go of perfectionism-it's both a cause and a result of low self-esteem. 72

9 Fake it 'til you make it. Act as if you value yourself, even when you don't feel like it.75

10 What would radical self-care look like for you right now? 78

11 Make a gratitude list and build from there. What you focus on is what you'll get more of. 81

12 Clear away negative emotions: worry, fear, anxiety, regret, pessimism. 85

13 Don't "should" on yourself. Drop the words "should" and "ought" from your vocabulary. 88

14 Go to bed half an hour earlier. Self-care begins with the basics. 91

15 Look for women who have what you want and learn from them. 94

16 Practice esteem-able acts. 97

17 Lighten up and laugh ... a lotp. 99

18 Go on a media fast. Be very careful what you put in your head. 101

19 Stop playing the comparison game. 105

20 Draw on spiritual resources to assist you. 108

21 Adopt a flexible notion of self-care; allow it to change over time. 110

22 Ask your friends what they love about you. 112

23 Practice using affirmations to retrain your thinking and your attitude. 115

24 Make self-care into a game. Make it fun, engaging, interesting. 119

25 Do something physical today. Anything. Get your body moving. 122

26 Resting is not "doing nothing." 125

27 Forgive people who have hurt you. Forgiving them frees you. 127

28 Balance your checkbook. 130

29 It's not what you're eating-it's what's eating you. 133

30 Give up the need to be liked by everyone. 137

31 Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 141

32 Ask yourself, "What's the best use of my time right now?". 143

33 Clean out one drawer or one closet. 146

34 Make appointments with yourself. 149

35 Honor your feelings, but don't be a slave to them. 152

36 Don't go to a dry well for water. Seek out the right people to support you in caring for yourself. 155

37 Put your credit cards in a jar of water and freeze them. 158

38 Wash a window or two in your home or apartment. 161

39 Write down everything you spend this week. Yes, every single penny. 164

40 Meditate for at least five minutes each day. 167

41 Buy yourself some fresh-cut flowers. 171

42 Seek forgiveness from people you've hurt or harmed. Make amends. 173

43 Take care of your car. 176

44 Buy or make a first aid kit. 179

45 Tell yourself the truth about the men in your life. 183

46 Acknowledge all the different ways you avoid doing the things you know are good for you. 187

47 If you, or someone you love, is struggling with an addiction, find a local support group. 190

48 Make a God box. 194

49 Do what you love. 198

50 Enroll in a personal development class. 200

51 Use the phrase "Up until now . . ." to create openings for change. 203

52 Own your accomplishments. Enjoy the "new you" you're becoming. 206

Section III What?: What Brings About Successful, Long-Term, Personal Change? 209

1 Learn how your mind works, then put it to work for your highest and best good. 213

2 Study how people bring about positive changes in their lives. 221

3 Coax yourself through the "I don't wanna" feelings. 229

4 Pay attention to the power of your words. 234

5 Stick with the winners. Surround yourself with the right people. 240

6 Teach others how to do the things they know are good for them. 244

Conclusion: Closing the Gap 249

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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Self Care is so important, this book explains why.

    Just reading the book will change you into person who has more self-love, even without trying, because it's just makes sense. You can follow it for a whole year, or read it in one week. I'm planning on doing it for the year now that I have read the whole book cover to cover.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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