Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love

( 25 )

Overview

The national bestseller that shows you how a better understanding of who you are will help you find and keep the love you want

Helen Fisher can often tell, almost instantly, the hidden strengths and weaknesses in a relationship that are likely to keep a couple together or pull them apart. The words they choose, their facial structure and body language, even their doodles and where they live give strong clues to their personality type. After three decades of studying romantic ...

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Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type

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Overview

The national bestseller that shows you how a better understanding of who you are will help you find and keep the love you want

Helen Fisher can often tell, almost instantly, the hidden strengths and weaknesses in a relationship that are likely to keep a couple together or pull them apart. The words they choose, their facial structure and body language, even their doodles and where they live give strong clues to their personality type. After three decades of studying romantic relationships, Fisher has discovered that your dominant personality type guides not only who you are but who you love.

Why Him? Why Her? provides a new way to understand relationships, whether you’re searching for one or eager to strengthen the one you have. Beginning with a scientifically developed questionnaire to determine your prevailing personality type, Fisher tells you not only what type of person you might have chemistry with but how to find them, attract them, and keep them. Once you know the personality profile of the partner you’re with—or hope to find—you can use your knowledge of how your types match up to improve your love life.

More than seven million people in forty countries have learned Fisher’s techniques and are using these tools to make and keep lasting romantic connections. Based on proven results, this groundbreaking book goes beyond theory to show that the complex nature of romance isn’t so complicated once you truly understand yourself and others. Provocative and illuminating, Fisher’s book deserves to be read by everyone looking to be loved for who they really are.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Fascinating…. You may already have your dream lover, but you’ll want to read this for the many insights on the science of love."—The Boston Globe

"Why Him? Why Her? examines how brain chemistry determines temperament and temperament dictates whom we love…. [Fisher offers] a giddy, romantic notion, well worth considering."—Los Angeles Times

"In times of upheaval, nothing offers safe harbor like science. That’s where Helen Fisher comes in…. Her research led her inside the biological mechanisms of mate choice."—TIME magazine

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780805091526
  • Publisher: Holt, Henry & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 1/5/2010
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 121,792
  • Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Helen Fisher, PhD, is a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, and the bestselling author of four previous books, two of which—The First Sex and Anatomy of Love—were New York Times Notable Books. She is Scientific Adviser to Chemistry.com (a division of Match.com) and lives in New York City.

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Table of Contents

1 Eavesdropping on Mother Nature: Why Him? Why Her? 1

2 Finding Your Personality type: The Personality Type Test 18

3 The Hand YOU're Dealt: Nature's Dice 24

4 Drink Life to The Lees: The Explorer 42

5 A Pillar of Society: The Builder 62

6 Always to The Stars: The Director 83

7 The Philosopher King: The Negotiator 103

8 Play Mates, Help Mates, Mind Mates, Soul Mates: The Chemistry of Dating 124

9 Falling in Love: The Funnel 142

10 The One: How We Love 160

11 Putting Chemistry to Work: Advice from Nature 193

12 How to Find and Keep Lasting Love: Afterword 223

Notes 239

Appendix: The Mate Choice Study 253

Bibliography 261

Acknowledgments 291

Index 293

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 25 )
Rating Distribution

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(14)

4 Star

(6)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 25 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2009

    Great book to give you insight into the people in your world - both romantically and otherwise.

    I found this book very insightful into the way that different people work. Personally, I've always been very intuitive & have easily read people. However, because I tend to be on the emotional side, I've often been confused when people react differently than I do to the same situation. This book also gave me some insight into the best way to interact with people who relate to situations differently than I do.

    I went through a rough break up a few years ago - being able to understand what type of person my ex is & why it didn't work was quite intriguing.

    Definitely worth the read!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2014

    Super interesting!

    This was a very informative and interesting book. I saw my and my husband's personalities! We are both builders! If you are interested in "what makes people tick", this is your book!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2013

    Damn

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 5, 2012

    it was pretty informative

    it was pretty informative

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2012

    Great book it is interesting to see why we love the people we love!

    Great read i enjoyed this book a lot !

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  • Posted October 12, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Highly Recommended - solid and accessible science

    I have to admit that I skipped over this book in the years that it's been out. My quick scan in the bookstore caught similarities to personality categories with new labels. It seemed like just another attempt to recycle advice and capitalize on our wishes and dreams. I was wrong.

    This is not a self-help or dating book! (Though it does well there, too.) Anthropologist Helen Fisher sought to find a biological explanation for how we discriminate in our mate choices, and the result is this highly readable story of exploration with theory based on solid, well-established chemistry. It is not based on idealism but on what is actually happening in relationships. Fans of John Gottman will find this a wonderful complement to the workings of relationships.

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  • Posted October 25, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Made Huge Change in My Life

    The book describes personality types (Explorer, Builder, Director, Negotiator); has a test for determining Primary and Secondary personality type: discusses relationship among these four types. I understand myself so much better. I understand the difficulties in previous relationships. I avoid certain personality types. I know the quid pro quo that works between my personality type and others. Dr. Fisher is an anthropologist so her theories are premised on experimental fact. Anyone in a relationship, or seeking a relationship would benefit from this book. This book is among a very few that has had a powerful positive effect on my life. Thank you Dr. Fisher

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  • Posted August 10, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    great read

    I had first seen Dr. Fisher online at TED. com where she lectures about how love effects the brain. She mentions that she will be working on a book which records her findings on compatibility and personality and how these factors effect love and dating. This book is the product of her research. I found it to be very informative and enjoyable to read. She splits the book up into sections that easily flow from analyzing each personality type to how the personalities act toward eachother in relationships. She is thorough and easy to understand, as well as extremely accurate in her findings. The personality test is included in the second chapter, and the results are dead on, at least in my case. Overall, I recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about their own personality and the psychology behind dating and relationships. Great read.

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  • Posted April 7, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Interesting perspective on romantic types

    While I enjoyed reading Dr. Helen Fisher's theories of romance, I can't say I'm entirely convinced. Parts of her argument read as rather circular, and her description of the four categories---Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator---was frequently uneven. She wrote about her own two categories with a great deal more insight and sympathy than the two categories she's not. And while I can certainly understand why that might be the case, I would have had a bit more respect for her research if she'd been able to overcome her own bias while elaborating on all the types. Still, her perspective certainly provides some food for thought, and I found the chapters targeting the biology of how we meet and choose those we love fascinating.

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  • Posted March 20, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Why this book? It's very informative

    I read this book very quickly and found it the perfect antidote to a very difficult time I was experiencing with a man I loved. I learned a tremendous amount about both of us and about many other loves of my life. I felt very inspired and well informed by Helen Fisher who is one of the smartest people writing about love. I highly recommend it; it will
    give you new insights and good ideas for how best to conduct the most important of journeys, that of loving others and yourself.

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  • Posted January 11, 2010

    MUST HAVE FOR EVERYONE!!! Even if you are already in a relationship!

    This book was so informative and I am currently married. It was introduced to me by a friend looking for love. I think everyone should read this to find out about their OWN personality and others around them. It will give you GREAT insight on your family members, coworkers, loved ones, friends, potential mates, etc. It is good for so much more than just finding love, it could lead you to better communication skills, better job hunting skills and so much more. Just being able to understand the different personality types and how they interact with each other is monumental. Helen breaks it down in such a simple, truthful, genuine, non-voodoo way that helps you understand yourself and be proud of who you are. You can also see the danger zones and know how to approach them. I LOVE THIS BOOK! (Obviously) :)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 13, 2009

    Entertaining

    This book was a fun read. A lot of good informatin to start some interesting conversatins. I passed the book on to my grandaughter and her fiance and they are reading it. I hope it will inspire some interesting conversations that will help them understand each other.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 29, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Why not??

    An excellent read about the different personality types of people. Good to know when foraying into the big, bad world of dating--and first dates--ekk! I learned quite about about myself, the men out there and dating, in general. A helpful book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 6, 2009

    Fascinating and Helpful!

    I really enjoyed this book and couldn't put it down! I am very interested in personalities and relationships so this book was perfect for me. I learned a lot and found myself identifying my loved ones primary personality types as I read! It helped me understand myself better and those I am close too. I loved this book and will probably reference it time and time again!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2009

    Fascinating book!

    I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in why we are romantically attracted to certain people, and to anyone who would like to just learn more about yourself. From my experience, the author is amazingly accurate in her research and her conclusions about the four personality types and how certain types are attracted to, and mesh with, other types. The book was incredibly fascinating to me, and definitely helped me to understand why I have made the choices that I have made, why some relationships worked out the way they did. I would have liked more in depth discussion of this subject in the book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Great Book!

    I can recognize the different personality types in some people that I know. The book was well written and very interesting. She bases her theories on the four different personality types and from there explains why we each choose our mates the way we do. Awesome! She is a great author and I hope she will write more great books like that one.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 23, 2009

    Why Him, Why Her

    I can recognize the different personality types in some people that I know. The book was well written and very interesting.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 5, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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