Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type [NOOK Book]

Overview


A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love

Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical ...

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Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type

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Overview


A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love

Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type.

Until now the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!) Ultimately, Fisher’s investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage.

Based on entirely new research—including a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countries—Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature’s chemistry to find and keep your life partner.



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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Don't be fooled by the subtitle: The words "Soul Mate" evoke ominous images of cosmic synchronicity, compatibilities far beyond the reach of mortal man -- and woman. Fortunately, author Helen Fisher isn't peering into any crystal balls in this book. Instead, she bases Why Him? Why Her? on her detailed personality study of 40,000 adults, an investigation that helped her ferret out the real chemistry between potential life partners.
Library Journal

Fisher (anthropology, Rutgers Univ.; Why We Love) presents her research for Chemistry.com on personality types and long-term relationships. Paralleling the theories of Hippocrates, Carl Jung, David Keirsey, and others, she posits that people fall into four different groups of inherited temperament: explorers, builders, directors, and negotiators. She offers a test for readers to find their type and thoroughly explains the traits of each temperament and the corresponding chemicals and hormones. To illustrate these traits, Fisher assigns well-known historical figures to the types. Next, readers learn what each type is looking for in a mate, what sort of connection the different types hope to make, and how they behave in dating and relationships. Fisher explores each of the ten possible relationship combinations of the four types, describing strengths and pitfalls of each. There is also a section on the biology of first impressions and early dating behaviors. Readers seeking a long-term relationship will be interested in Fisher's ideas, and her book is recommended for larger public libraries.
—Erica L. Foley

From the Publisher

Praise for Helen Fisher:

"Fascinating…. An original and uniquely contemporary approach to a sensation that, for millennia, has been considered purely emotional." —The Washington Post on Why We Love

"A thesis with startling ramifications." —The New York Times Book Review on Why We Love

"Delightful to read, offering an abundance of fascinating facts." —The New York Times on Anatomy of Love

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781429982672
  • Publisher: Holt, Henry & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 1/20/2009
  • Sold by: Macmillan
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 103,265
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author


Helen Fisher, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading experts on the nature of romantic love and attachment, is the chief scientific adviser to Chemistry.com, a division of Match.com. She is the author of four previous books, two of which—The First Sex and The Anatomy of Love—were New York Times Notable Books. A research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, she lives in New York City.


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Read an Excerpt


CHAPTER 1
I am large, I contain multitudes.
—WALT WHITMAN
EAVESDROPPING ON
MOTHER NATURE:
Why Him? Why Her?
“Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness for you. But there is one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place, to eat to your days together. And may your days be very long upon this earth.”
The Apache Indians of the American Southwest probably recited this wedding poem for centuries before I heard it in La Jolla, California, in 2006. It was an early June evening, the sky still pink and blue, the sea smells wafting through the windows as I sat in a folding chair on the second story of a fancy Italian restaurant. An older gentleman was conducting a short wedding ceremony, one mixed with rituals from the Christian, Jewish and Apache traditions. And before me glowed the two celebrants, Patrick and Suzanne—one of the first couples to marry after meeting on the Internet dating site I had helped to design, Chemistry.com.
Patrick had been a journalist in New Orleans until he lost his job, his home and all of his belongings to Hurricane Katrina in 2005. West he went, taking up residence with relatives in Los Angeles in February 2006. Days after settling in, he joined Chemistry.com and received his first recommended match: Suzanne, a lawyer living in La Jolla. That first night they talked for three hours on the phone. They met the following weekend and fell passionately in love.
So on a balmy evening during an April vacation together in Paris, Patrick took her to the top of the Eiffel Tower and proposed. The dazzled young woman grinned her “yes.” So here I sat at a fancy Italian restaurant in La Jolla, surrounded by some fifty of their friends and relatives on this festive wedding eve.
I like being around people who are in love. They have a contagious energy. This force was palpable in the groom, the first to arrive for the nuptials. He burst into the room, filling it with his vivacious charm. Although we had never met, he greeted me warmly. We instantly struck up a conversation about the evolution of the English language, his experience as a journalist in some dangerous parts of Asia and some of my past work on the brain chemistry of romantic love.
Others soon arrived, and we took our places on the folding chairs facing a small bar strewn with lilies. Last came the bride. I was stunned when saw her—a tiny, perfectly formed, porcelain-like doll, with huge blue eyes and long auburn hair in soft ringlets wreathed in forget-me-nots. Like the mythological Helen, Suzanne had a face that could launch a thousand ships. And her vigor matched his. She was enraptured by her prince, gazing at him and grinning with uncontainable effervescence as she said “I do.”
Someone played a flute. The Apache poem was read. And as the bride and groom walked down the makeshift aisle between our seats, we blew bubbles at them from the little bottles left on our chairs. Then came the feast: platters of Cavatelli Marinara, Antipasto Rustico, mussels, sausages, Chicken Fra Diavolo—a host of Italian favorites appeared at every table amid the balloons, confetti and champagne as the disc jockey blasted out old tunes and we wildly danced. Patrick and Suzanne swirled among us, radiating joy.
“Love hopes all things,” the Bible says. I hoped for Patrick and Suzanne. But I also had a reason to be optimistic about their marriage. I knew some things about their personalities because both had taken my personality test, a series of questions I had devised to establish some basic things about a person’s biological temperament. Both had told me their test results. And from these data, I was confident that Patrick’s particular chemical profile would complement Suzanne’s, creating a biological and psychological cocktail that would keep them captivated with each other for years.
Temperament and Love
We have many inborn tendencies. Indeed, scientists now believe some 50 percent of the variations in human personality are associated with genetic factors. We inherit much of the fabric of our mind.
But what is personality?
Psychologists define it as that distinct cluster of thoughts and feelings that color all of a person’s actions.
Your personality is more than just your biology, of course. Personality is composed of two fundamentally different types of traits: those of character and those of temperament.
Your character traits stem from your experiences. Your childhood games; your parents’ interests and values; how people in your community express love and hate; what relatives and friends regard as polite, dangerous or exciting; how they worship; what they sing; when they laugh; what they do to make a living and relax—these and innumerable other cultural forces combine to build your unique set of character traits.
The balance of your personality is your temperament, all of the biologically based tendencies you have inherited, traits that emerge in early childhood to produce your consistent patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving. As the Spanish philosopher José Ortega y Gasset put it, “I am, plus my circumstances.” Temperament is the “I am,” the foundation of who you are. Curiosity; creativity; novelty seeking; compassion; cautiousness; competitiveness: to some degree, you inherit these and many other aspects of your disposition.
It is this part of the human spirit I had examined in Patrick and Suzanne—their biological temperament.
Born “Me”
No one knows precisely how many traits of temperament we human beings inherit. But studies of identical twins suggest we inherit many. Take the “giggle twins,” as they were called by staff members of the Minnesota Twin Study in the 1970s because these women would erupt with peals of laughter at the slightest jest or odd turn of phrase.
Daphne and Barbara were born to an unmarried Finnish student living in England in 1939. Barbara was adopted by an English groundskeeper who worked in a public park, while Daphne grew up in the home of a wealthy metallurgist. Yet when they first came together again at age thirty-nine as part of the Minnesota Twin Study, which focused on identical twins reared apart, both loved good pranks and both had giggled all their lives. Both regularly sat on their hands to keep from nervously gesticulating. Both had dyed their hair auburn. Both were effusively energetic. Both hated math and sports. Both avoided commercial television. Both preferred the color blue. Both were unwilling to give any political opinions. And both had met their husbands at age sixteen at a town hall dance and married in the autumn. Their IQ scores were nearly identical, too, despite Daphne’s expensive education and Barbara’s far more modest schooling.
Coincidence?
Psychologist Thomas Bouchard, director of the Minnesota Twin Study, unearthed so many stories like this one that in the 1980s he proposed that dozens of personality traits have a degree of heritability. Among those with the strongest genetic links, he reported, were traditionalism, the willingness to capitulate to authority, aggressiveness, the drive to lead and the appetite for attention. As he wrote in 1984, “Both the twin studies and the adoption studies converge on the surprising finding that common family environmental influences play only a minor role in the determination of personality.”
In recent decades human behavior geneticists have added substantially to this list of traits linked with our DNA. More important to this book, scientists now know that groups of interacting genes influence behavior, even act together to create behavior syndromes. For example, if you have a biological appetite to seek novelty, you are also likely to be energetic, spontaneous, risk taking, curious and creative. If you are predisposed to be traditional instead, you are also likely to be loyal, cautious, respectful of authority and eager to make plans and follow schedules. We express constellations of related biological traits,1 creating what are commonly called personality types.2
In fact, after doing extensive research on the biological underpinnings of personality types, I have come to believe that each of us expresses a unique mix of four broad basic personality types. Moreover, our primary personality type steers us toward specific romantic partners. Our biological nature whispers constantly within us to influence who we love.
These thoughts and more were swimming through my mind as I blew those bubbles at Patrick and Suzanne on that enchanting wedding evening. I thought both had found their soul mate.
Who are you? Why are we naturally attracted to particular mates? My investigation of these mysteries started over the Christmas holiday in 2004.
Match.com
“Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another?” This is what the executive team at Match.com wanted to know when I met with them two days after Christmas 2004 in New York City. Match.com is the world’s largest Internet dating site. And I had been invited to spend the day with them, thinking. Midmorning, they asked me this fundamental question.
“No one really knows,” I responded.
Psychologists have determined that men and women tend to fall in love with individuals from the same ethnic and socioeconomic background; with those of a similar level of intelligence, education and physical attractiveness; with individuals holding similar religious, political and social values; and with those who have a similar sense of humor. We also fall in love when the timing is right; and often with someone who lives or works nearby. Your childhood plays a huge role in your romantic choices, although no reliable patterns have ever been established. We tend to fall in love with someone who provides us with the things we need. And people often fall in love with those who are in love with them.
But, as I told the Match.com executives, how two individual personalities match up remains unknown. People do not necessarily court, live with or marry someone with similar or different personality traits. In fact, some 470 studies have examined the mesh of two personalities in a marriage. And psychologist Marcel Zentner summed up these data, saying, “Preference for similarity in personality characteristics varies substantially across traits and individuals.” As he put it, “How two personalities may be best combined in a relationship remains at present an unresolved issue.”
Yet your choice of mate will color every aspect of your life: your morning conversations in bed and at the breakfast table; your friendships, family reunions and weekend frolics; where you live; how you raise your children; most likely even your career. And certainly this choice will affect your tomorrows. Those babies you are likely to produce and send forth to multiply are your genetic future. Only a few times in your life will you mix your seed with that of another and pitch your DNA toward infinity.
So whom you choose matters.
In fact, I found it hard to believe that evolution would leave this decision entirely to our human whims. I suspected that psychologists had simply not looked for the underlying biological mechanisms that direct our romantic choices.
So when the folks at Match.com asked me to consider helping them develop a sister site for their Internet dating service, one designed for men and women interested in a long-term partnership, I said I would think about it during the festive midwinter lull.
The holiday season twinkled on. But on New Year’s Day I realized I had to come to grips with this opportunity—a chance to apply the newest data in neuroscience to the essential question of who you love, perhaps even help people find “the one.” So I sat down at my empty desk and pulled out a blank sheet of paper.
What did I know about personality?
The Biology of Personality
Dopamine. I began with this brain chemical because I had studied the activities of this powerful and ubiquitous neurotransmitter for several years.
On impulse, I listed some of the personality traits I knew were associated with specific genes in the dopamine system: the propensity to seek novelty; the willingness to take risks; spontaneity; heightened energy; curiosity; creativity; optimism; enthusiasm; mental flexibility. I decided to call those men and women who expressed the traits associated with this biology Explorers. Patrick, I would come to realize, had a good deal of the Explorer in him.
I drew another blank sheet of paper from my desk drawer. What else did I know about personality?
Well, individuals who have inherited particular genes in the serotonin system tend to be calm, social, cautious but not fearful, persistent, loyal, fond of rules and facts and orderly. They are conventional, the guardians of tradition. And because these men and women are also skilled at building social networks and managing people in family, business and social situations, I dubbed those who had inherited this constellation of genetic traits Builders.
I had also studied testosterone. Although testosterone is often associated with males, I knew that both men and women are capable of expressing particularly strong activity in this neural system. Moreover, those who inherit this chemistry tend to be direct, decisive, focused, analytical, logical, tough-minded, exacting, emotionally contained and good at strategic thinking. They get to the point. Many are bold and competitive. They excel at figuring out machines, mathematical formulas or other rule-based systems. Many are good at understanding the structure of music, too. I named these people Directors.
Last in my store of biological knowledge were some of the traits linked with estrogen. Women and men with a great deal of estrogen activity tend to see the big picture: they connect disparate facts to think contextually and holistically, expressing what I call web thinking. They are imaginative. They display superior verbal skills and excel at reading postures, gestures, facial expressions and tones of voice, known as executive social skills. They are also intuitive, sympathetic, nurturing, mentally flexible, agreeable, idealistic, altruistic and emotionally expressive. I christened the people of this broad biological type Negotiators.
Other chemical systems play a role in personality, of course. We may have as many as a hundred different kinds of neurotransmitters (smaller molecules) and some fifty types of peptides in the brain. But most keep the heart beating or orchestrate other basic functions. It is increasingly apparent that these four chemicals—dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen—play lead roles in producing aspects of personality.
Two others should be mentioned, though. Norepinephrine, a chemical closely related to dopamine, undoubtedly contributes to some of the Explorer’s traits, especially their energy and impulsivity. And oxytocin—a chemical synthesized, stored and triggered (in large part) by estrogen—most likely plays a role in the Negotiator’s compassion, nurturing, trust and intuition. In fact, families of chemicals produce the Explorer, Builder, Director and Negotiator. The specific activities of any one chemical are not as significant as the ratios and interactions among all of them and several other neural systems.3, 4
Nevertheless, only dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen have been directly associated with a wide range of personality traits. So variations in these four chemicals most likely form the foundation of these four basic styles of thinking and behaving.
But does your personality type guide who you love?
I decided to find out.
The Personality Type Study
I accepted the consulting job as scientific adviser to what would become the new Internet dating site Chemistry.com. And in January 2005, I began to create the core statements in the questionnaire members would fill out when they joined this service, a questionnaire to establish their personality type. I based all my queries on genetics and neurochemistry.
For example, I posed the statement “I do things on the spur of the moment.” I reasoned that Explorers would be most likely to “strongly agree” because certain genes in the dopamine system are associated with impulsivity.
“My friends and family would say I have traditional values.” Because the drive to follow social norms is a hallmark of the serotonin system, I thought Builders would be particularly partial to this statement.
To establish the degree to which a member is a Director, I offered the statement “I am more analytical and logical than most people.” High-testosterone men and women, I believed, would feel this described them accurately.
And because Negotiators tend to be highly imaginative due in large part to estrogen activity, I included the statement “I vividly imagine both wonderful and horrible things happening to me.”
Then, with psychologists Jonathan Rich and Heide Island, whom I invited to join me on this project, I perfected the questionnaire. It was launched nationally as part of Chemistry.com in February 2006. The point of this test: to measure your biological profile for dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen—or the degree to which you are an Explorer, Builder, Director and Negotiator.5, 6
As I write this paragraph, some five million Americans have filled out the questionnaire, along with another 1.8 million in thirty-four other countries, because this personality test forms the basis of the more extensive questionnaire and matching system used by Chemistry.com. And upon reviewing the data in a sample of 39,913 anonymous members of Chemistry.com, I vividly saw how differently each of these four personality types thinks and acts.
But I wanted to know more: Does each personality type like to do something different on Saturday night? What are their religious and political preferences? Do they pursue different vocations? Where does each type prefer to live? What kinds of friends does each type see regularly—a social crowd, intellectuals, adventurers or activists? How often does each type fall in love? What are their views on kissing in public? Do they regard sex as an important part of marriage? How much personal autonomy and closeness does each type need in a partnership? I was even curious about the state of their sock drawer: messy or neat?
So I also asked these and other questions and examined the responses in this same sample of 39,913 anonymous members of Chemistry.com. The group’s average age was thirty-seven; 56.4 percent were women; and 89.6 percent were heterosexual. Explorers were 26 percent of the sample, while Builders were 28.6 percent, Directors were 16.3 percent, and Negotiators were 29.1 percent of the population.
Sure enough, each broad personality type does fraternize with a different crowd, wants to live in a different place and has different religious values. These four types even doodle differently. And birth order makes no difference in one’s personality type, one of many indications that I was measuring four different temperament types—styles of thinking and behaving that stem from our biology and are soft-wired in the brain long before we leave the womb.
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Table of Contents

1 Eavesdropping on Mother Nature: Why Him? Why Her? 1

2 Finding Your Personality Type: The Personality Type Test 18

3 The Hand You're Dealt: Nature's Dice 24

4 Drink Life to the Lees: The Explorer 42

5 A Pillar of Society: The Builder 62

6 Always to the Stars: The Director 83

7 The Philosopher King: The Negotiator 103

8 Play Mates, Help Mates, Mind Mates, Soul Mates: The Chemistry of Dating 124

9 Falling in Love: The Funnel 142

10 The One: How We Love 160

11 Putting Chemistry to Work: Advice from Nature 193

Notes 223

Appendix The Mate Choice Study 237

Bibliography 245

Acknowledgments 275

Index 277

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 25 )
Rating Distribution

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 25 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2009

    Great book to give you insight into the people in your world - both romantically and otherwise.

    I found this book very insightful into the way that different people work. Personally, I've always been very intuitive & have easily read people. However, because I tend to be on the emotional side, I've often been confused when people react differently than I do to the same situation. This book also gave me some insight into the best way to interact with people who relate to situations differently than I do.

    I went through a rough break up a few years ago - being able to understand what type of person my ex is & why it didn't work was quite intriguing.

    Definitely worth the read!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2014

    Super interesting!

    This was a very informative and interesting book. I saw my and my husband's personalities! We are both builders! If you are interested in "what makes people tick", this is your book!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2013

    Damn

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 5, 2012

    it was pretty informative

    it was pretty informative

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2012

    Great book it is interesting to see why we love the people we love!

    Great read i enjoyed this book a lot !

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  • Posted October 12, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Highly Recommended - solid and accessible science

    I have to admit that I skipped over this book in the years that it's been out. My quick scan in the bookstore caught similarities to personality categories with new labels. It seemed like just another attempt to recycle advice and capitalize on our wishes and dreams. I was wrong.

    This is not a self-help or dating book! (Though it does well there, too.) Anthropologist Helen Fisher sought to find a biological explanation for how we discriminate in our mate choices, and the result is this highly readable story of exploration with theory based on solid, well-established chemistry. It is not based on idealism but on what is actually happening in relationships. Fans of John Gottman will find this a wonderful complement to the workings of relationships.

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  • Posted October 25, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Made Huge Change in My Life

    The book describes personality types (Explorer, Builder, Director, Negotiator); has a test for determining Primary and Secondary personality type: discusses relationship among these four types. I understand myself so much better. I understand the difficulties in previous relationships. I avoid certain personality types. I know the quid pro quo that works between my personality type and others. Dr. Fisher is an anthropologist so her theories are premised on experimental fact. Anyone in a relationship, or seeking a relationship would benefit from this book. This book is among a very few that has had a powerful positive effect on my life. Thank you Dr. Fisher

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  • Posted August 10, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    great read

    I had first seen Dr. Fisher online at TED. com where she lectures about how love effects the brain. She mentions that she will be working on a book which records her findings on compatibility and personality and how these factors effect love and dating. This book is the product of her research. I found it to be very informative and enjoyable to read. She splits the book up into sections that easily flow from analyzing each personality type to how the personalities act toward eachother in relationships. She is thorough and easy to understand, as well as extremely accurate in her findings. The personality test is included in the second chapter, and the results are dead on, at least in my case. Overall, I recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about their own personality and the psychology behind dating and relationships. Great read.

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  • Posted April 7, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Interesting perspective on romantic types

    While I enjoyed reading Dr. Helen Fisher's theories of romance, I can't say I'm entirely convinced. Parts of her argument read as rather circular, and her description of the four categories---Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator---was frequently uneven. She wrote about her own two categories with a great deal more insight and sympathy than the two categories she's not. And while I can certainly understand why that might be the case, I would have had a bit more respect for her research if she'd been able to overcome her own bias while elaborating on all the types. Still, her perspective certainly provides some food for thought, and I found the chapters targeting the biology of how we meet and choose those we love fascinating.

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  • Posted March 20, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Why this book? It's very informative

    I read this book very quickly and found it the perfect antidote to a very difficult time I was experiencing with a man I loved. I learned a tremendous amount about both of us and about many other loves of my life. I felt very inspired and well informed by Helen Fisher who is one of the smartest people writing about love. I highly recommend it; it will
    give you new insights and good ideas for how best to conduct the most important of journeys, that of loving others and yourself.

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  • Posted January 11, 2010

    MUST HAVE FOR EVERYONE!!! Even if you are already in a relationship!

    This book was so informative and I am currently married. It was introduced to me by a friend looking for love. I think everyone should read this to find out about their OWN personality and others around them. It will give you GREAT insight on your family members, coworkers, loved ones, friends, potential mates, etc. It is good for so much more than just finding love, it could lead you to better communication skills, better job hunting skills and so much more. Just being able to understand the different personality types and how they interact with each other is monumental. Helen breaks it down in such a simple, truthful, genuine, non-voodoo way that helps you understand yourself and be proud of who you are. You can also see the danger zones and know how to approach them. I LOVE THIS BOOK! (Obviously) :)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 13, 2009

    Entertaining

    This book was a fun read. A lot of good informatin to start some interesting conversatins. I passed the book on to my grandaughter and her fiance and they are reading it. I hope it will inspire some interesting conversations that will help them understand each other.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 29, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Why not??

    An excellent read about the different personality types of people. Good to know when foraying into the big, bad world of dating--and first dates--ekk! I learned quite about about myself, the men out there and dating, in general. A helpful book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 6, 2009

    Fascinating and Helpful!

    I really enjoyed this book and couldn't put it down! I am very interested in personalities and relationships so this book was perfect for me. I learned a lot and found myself identifying my loved ones primary personality types as I read! It helped me understand myself better and those I am close too. I loved this book and will probably reference it time and time again!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2009

    Fascinating book!

    I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in why we are romantically attracted to certain people, and to anyone who would like to just learn more about yourself. From my experience, the author is amazingly accurate in her research and her conclusions about the four personality types and how certain types are attracted to, and mesh with, other types. The book was incredibly fascinating to me, and definitely helped me to understand why I have made the choices that I have made, why some relationships worked out the way they did. I would have liked more in depth discussion of this subject in the book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Great Book!

    I can recognize the different personality types in some people that I know. The book was well written and very interesting. She bases her theories on the four different personality types and from there explains why we each choose our mates the way we do. Awesome! She is a great author and I hope she will write more great books like that one.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 23, 2009

    Why Him, Why Her

    I can recognize the different personality types in some people that I know. The book was well written and very interesting.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 5, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 25, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

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