Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer
What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope?

Former editor of Harper's and National Book Award long-listed author Christopher Beha’s own struggle with these questions, and an earnest appeal for readers to arrive at answers of their own


Twenty-five years ago, celebrated author (and cradle Catholic) Christopher Beha gave up on God. Helped along by a reading of Bertrand Russell’s classic text Why I Am Not a Christian, he became a committed atheist, certain that his days of belief were behind him. A youthful brush with mortality soon set Beha on a decades-long quest for meaning in a Godless world.

Why I Am Not an Atheist tells the story of this search for secular answers to what Immanuel Kant called the most urgent human questions: What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope? Along the way, Beha traces the development of what he understands to be the two major atheist worldviews: “scientific materialism” and “romantic idealism.” 

Beha’s passage through these rival forms of atheism leads him to the surprising conclusion that faith—particularly faith in a created order in which each human life has a meaningful part—preserves the best of both traditions while offering a complete and coherent picture of reality. 

This magisterial investigation of the heights of human intellectual achievement is at once deeply personal and universal—grounded in decades of reading and thinking about various atheist efforts to address the problems of human suffering, mortality, and ultimate meaning. Why I Am Not an Atheist is not a polemic on behalf of belief but a record of Beha’s own working out of these questions, and a call for readers to arrive at answers of their own.
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Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer
What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope?

Former editor of Harper's and National Book Award long-listed author Christopher Beha’s own struggle with these questions, and an earnest appeal for readers to arrive at answers of their own


Twenty-five years ago, celebrated author (and cradle Catholic) Christopher Beha gave up on God. Helped along by a reading of Bertrand Russell’s classic text Why I Am Not a Christian, he became a committed atheist, certain that his days of belief were behind him. A youthful brush with mortality soon set Beha on a decades-long quest for meaning in a Godless world.

Why I Am Not an Atheist tells the story of this search for secular answers to what Immanuel Kant called the most urgent human questions: What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope? Along the way, Beha traces the development of what he understands to be the two major atheist worldviews: “scientific materialism” and “romantic idealism.” 

Beha’s passage through these rival forms of atheism leads him to the surprising conclusion that faith—particularly faith in a created order in which each human life has a meaningful part—preserves the best of both traditions while offering a complete and coherent picture of reality. 

This magisterial investigation of the heights of human intellectual achievement is at once deeply personal and universal—grounded in decades of reading and thinking about various atheist efforts to address the problems of human suffering, mortality, and ultimate meaning. Why I Am Not an Atheist is not a polemic on behalf of belief but a record of Beha’s own working out of these questions, and a call for readers to arrive at answers of their own.
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Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer

Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer

by Christopher Beha
Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer

Why I Am Not an Atheist: The Confessions of a Skeptical Believer

by Christopher Beha

eBook

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Overview

What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope?

Former editor of Harper's and National Book Award long-listed author Christopher Beha’s own struggle with these questions, and an earnest appeal for readers to arrive at answers of their own


Twenty-five years ago, celebrated author (and cradle Catholic) Christopher Beha gave up on God. Helped along by a reading of Bertrand Russell’s classic text Why I Am Not a Christian, he became a committed atheist, certain that his days of belief were behind him. A youthful brush with mortality soon set Beha on a decades-long quest for meaning in a Godless world.

Why I Am Not an Atheist tells the story of this search for secular answers to what Immanuel Kant called the most urgent human questions: What can I know? What must I do? What may I hope? Along the way, Beha traces the development of what he understands to be the two major atheist worldviews: “scientific materialism” and “romantic idealism.” 

Beha’s passage through these rival forms of atheism leads him to the surprising conclusion that faith—particularly faith in a created order in which each human life has a meaningful part—preserves the best of both traditions while offering a complete and coherent picture of reality. 

This magisterial investigation of the heights of human intellectual achievement is at once deeply personal and universal—grounded in decades of reading and thinking about various atheist efforts to address the problems of human suffering, mortality, and ultimate meaning. Why I Am Not an Atheist is not a polemic on behalf of belief but a record of Beha’s own working out of these questions, and a call for readers to arrive at answers of their own.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780593490488
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 02/17/2026
Sold by: Penguin Group
Format: eBook
Pages: 432

About the Author

Christopher Beha is former editor of Harper's Magazine; the author of a memoir, The Whole Five Feet; and the novels Arts & Entertainments and What Happened to Sophie Wilder. His most recent novel, The Index of Self-Destructive Acts, was nominated for the 2020 National Book Award.
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