Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

by Harriet Lerner PhD
Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

by Harriet Lerner PhD


    Qualifies for Free Shipping
    Check Availability at Nearby Stores

Related collections and offers


“If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

“Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.

Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781501129612
Publisher: Gallery Books
Publication date: 10/10/2017
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 133,287
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Harriet Lerner, PhD is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for several decades. A distinguished lecturer, consultant, and psychotherapist, she is the author of numerous scholarly articles and popular books, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger and Why Won’t You Apologize?. She and her husband live in Lawrence, Kansas and have two grown sons.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 The Many Faces of "I'm Sorry" 1

Chapter 2 Five Ways to Ruin an Apology 13

Chapter 3 More Wimpy, Overblown, and Downright Relationship-Busting Sorrys 25

Chapter 4 Apologizing Under Fire: How to Handle Big-Time Criticism 35

Chapter 5 The Secret Life of the Non-Apologizer 53

Chapter 6 "He's So Defensive!" What Do You Have to Do With It? 71

Chapter 7 How-and Whether-to Accept the Olive Branch 93

Chapter 8 Who Is at Fault? When Reconciliation Grinds to a Halt 109

Chapter 9 The Most Stunning Apology I Ever Witnessed 127

Chapter 10 "You Need to Forgive" and Other Lies That Hurt You 137

Chapter 11 How to Find Peace 157

Chapter 12 The Two Most Powerful Words in the English Language 175

Acknowledgments 187

Notes 191

From the B&N Reads Blog

Customer Reviews

Explore More Items