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From the cover of Newsweek, to the Rose Garden at the White House, the long simmering issue of gay marriage has erupted into full boil. While countries such as Canada and Belgium have recently legalized gay marriage, the US seems steadfastly locked in the past. Change, Davina Kotulski argues, will only come through organized activism, but the importance of legalized gay marriage remains unclear to many in the GLBT community. There are no less than 1049 federal rights granted to hetero-sexuals that remain out of reach to gays and lesbians as long as they don’t have the right to marry. This quick and simple read outlines the rights, benefits and protections afforded through marriage, exploring the negative effects of not having these rights through case examples of real couples who have experienced hardships and composite vignettes illustrating how couples can be hurt by lacking access to these protections. Through learning of the great disparity between how same-sex couples are treated compared to heterosexual couples, and of the membership privileges society affords married couples readers of this book will begin to see new possibilities in their lives, and be inspired to join the growing freedom to marry movement.
Davina Kotulski, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with deep roots in the freedom-to-marry movement. She has organized same-sex marriage gay pride contingents throughout Northern California, first with Californian’s for Same-Sex Marriage, and then with Marriage Equality California. She has been active in fighting antigay legislation such as the Knight Initiative, is on the board of Marriage Equality California, and serves on the Education and Religious Outreach Committee of the California Marriage Coalition/Freedom-to-Marry Coalition.
| Introduction: How I Became a Marriage Activist | 1 | |
| 1 | Silly Rabbit, Marriage Is for Heterosexuals! | 3 |
| 2 | Test Your Marriage IQ | 8 |
| 3 | Rights Your Average Incarcerated Heterosexual Serial Killer Has Access To (That You Don't!) | 11 |
| 4 | The Language of Love | 25 |
| 5 | Why "Marriage Lite" Doesn't Work | 30 |
| 6 | Taxes and Death | 38 |
| 7 | Monogamy and Partnership | 49 |
| 8 | Injustice for All | 53 |
| 9 | The Power of Ritual | 68 |
| 10 | Community Recognition | 79 |
| 11 | Employment Rights | 82 |
| 12 | Nine Common Arguments Against Marriage Equality | 90 |
| 13 | Resistance in the Gay and Lesbian Community | 98 |
| 14 | Lefties Are the Spawn of Satan... | 104 |
| 15 | Marriage Rights in the U.S. and Around the Globe | 120 |
| 16 | Parenting | 133 |
| 17 | Retirement Homes and Divorce Court | 145 |
| 18 | Alien Lovers | 153 |
| 19 | Transsexual Issues | 164 |
| 20 | Choose: Your Country or Your Family? | 171 |
| 21 | 20 Things You Can Do to Make a Difference | 178 |
| Bite-Size Activism Appendices: A, B, C, D, and E | 189 | |
| Acknowledgments | 201 |
Anonymous
Posted September 27, 2010
Check out Davina Kotulski's New Book Love Warriors:The Rise of the Marriage Equality Movement and Why it Will Prevail
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Well at least that's my opinion and after all that is what a review is all about right?
Kotulski explains the challenges that face same-sex couples due to a lack of marriage equality in great detail from going over the federal and state rights that are denied to same-sex couples to bringing to light things you just don't think about like family gym memberships. The greatest part about it is that Kotulski writes with such a down to earth tone that you feel like you are just chatting with her about the subject over coffee. "Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage" is a must have for any library rather you are gay, straight or otherwise oriented you will benifit from having this valuable reference at your fingertips.
I have found this book to be a great tool to better explain the issues surrounding gay marriage to others who before did not support same-sex marriage and now they have changed their minds. That's just how powerful this book is! If you think that gay marriage is not important because you believe we already have equal rights then "Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage" will help you see the truth and get you on board with the most important civil rights movement of our time.
Anonymous
Posted April 24, 2004
The intricate system of laws that protects heterosexual privilege while denying lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) persons the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits of civil marriage is another form of segregation ¿ but made all the more insidious by its apparent invisibility. In her new book, Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D., attempts to persuade us why civil marriage equality is an issue we should all, ¿give a damn about.¿ This task would challenge any writer, given the immense scope of the subject and the skepticism with which this issue is still met by many well-meaning LGBT activists ¿ it is one thing to say ¿1,349 rights, benefits, and protections¿ but another entirely more daunting task to list and describe them while also developing a cohesive argument. Fortunately, Dr. Kotulski begins with the most important point of all. Second-class citizenship demeans our integrity; it assaults the liberty guaranteed us by the U.S. Constitution ¿ and the U.S. Supreme Court, it would seem, now agrees with us (just read the fine print of the Lawrence v. Texas ruling). In Dr. Kotulski¿s words, ¿The language of love has power, and we have been given a very slim piece of the pie and asked to stay in our corner of the room and eat it quietly ¿ we live a half-existence compared to our heterosexual friends.¿ Dr. Kotulski is at her best when arguing that ¿Marriage Lite¿ (domestic partnerships, civil unions, reciprocal beneficiaries, etc.) is LGBT ¿Fool¿s Gold¿. These legal arrangements are only valid in their native states and most of the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits to which we have been denied access are enshrined in FEDERAL marriage, tax, social security, and inheritance laws anyway (for this reason, incidentally, the argument presented by many of our so-called political allies that this is a ¿states¿ rights¿ issue is a deceptive way of avoiding taking a position at all). And didn¿t the U.S. Supreme Court already determine in 1954 that ¿separate was not equal¿? Dr. Kotulski offers her most compelling evidence when describing the process same-sex couples must endure to register a domestic partnership in California. The process, much more difficult to traverse than obtaining a simple marriage license, is itself demeaning because it reminds the same-sex couple of their second-class status. Although Dr. Kotulski has made a cohesive argument, the reader must be cautious to avoid missing the forest while wandering amongst the 1,349 trees. This book is best read in small portions; the subject matter is monotonous and tedious. But Dr. Kotulski has given us all many compelling reasons to ¿give a damn¿ about civil marriage equality.
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Overview
From the cover of Newsweek, to the Rose Garden at the White House, the long simmering issue of gay marriage has erupted into full boil. While countries such as Canada and Belgium have recently legalized gay marriage, the US seems steadfastly locked in the past. Change, Davina Kotulski argues, will only come through organized activism, but the importance of legalized gay marriage remains unclear to many in the GLBT community. There are no less than 1049 federal rights granted to hetero-sexuals that remain out of ...